If It's Not One Thing, It's Another...

I mean that litterally... If it's not one thing (spilled on my floor), it's another (thing spilled on my floor). *sigh* Let me start from the begining. First I was born.... no, no.. I guess that's to far back... OK, let's see... first I had Super Girl... then I had Cabbage Patch.. I guess that's about where it started... but today, today started at 7:00 am with the little people wanting breakfast. This is about 30 minutes early for them. I was tired. My evil psychotic cat was opening my door and waking me at 3 am. I got out of bed to get a drink of water and discovered that the air pump attached to the fish tank had fallen off the counter and was no longer pumping air into the fish tank. I reattached it and checked the fish, they were all clustered on one side of the tank near the bottom. All were alive but they looked rather sluggish. Hmmm... I stayed up for a bit to make sure they were going to make it. Anyway... back to 7 am. I gave the kids the last two slices of cheese cake for breakfast (hey it was fast and they liked it). Everything was going well today, both of the little people were good.

As the day progressed to evening I had the thought that I would do my yoga tape before getting things out for the kids to paint with. My motivation was that the little people were being good. Part way though the tape Super Girl goes to potty in my bathroom, when she returns I can smell nail polish. She had wanted to paint her nails earlier this morning. I told her to have a seat on the couch for a time out while I finished my yoga tape. *sigh* within 5 minutes Super Girl is yelling from my bedroom doorway "Mamma, she got the nail polish!" I stop the tape and go to my bathroom. Cabbage Patch had snuck into the bathroom and got the bottle of nail polish that Super Girl had been messing with. It was ALL OVER THE FLOOR and ALL OVER HER HANDS AND FEET. Great, great, just what I wanted to do... clean paint off my bathroom floor and my toddler. Good thing I buy nail polish remover in the big bottles. I got it all of the toddler, and got most of it off the floor. But red nail polish is not very forgiving so where the majority of the nail polish was pooling it's still pink. Allright... 30 minutes later - I tell both kids to sit on the couch for time outs and put the yoga tape back on (what the hell was I thinking?). 10 minutes from the end of the tape Super Girl has gone into the kitchen and I hear her messing with the loaf of bread. I tell her to stop that I will make dinner soon. No answer. I tell her again to stop messing in the kitchen and come back to the couch. she mumbles something about wanting a snack. I tell her no I'm going to make dinner soon. she starts to whine and comes into the room with a piece of bread. We have an exchange that ends with her being sent to her room and I go into the kitchen. I see her stool near the counter. I see the jar of peanut butter on the stool. I see the bread on the stool and next to it a large pool of syrup that is dripping on the floor. Cabbage Patch is crouched in front of the stool with a syrup sopped pieced of bread looking innocently at me. I have the sudden feeling that my head is going to explode and I walk slowly to the foot of the stairs so I can call for Super Girl to come down. I make her clean the syrup. And now.. I'm wishing their father wasn't out tonight so I could go for a long walk by my self. Hmmmm... that yoga tape was supposed to relax me but for some reason I feel even more stressed than when I put the tape in! *sigh* why, why, why didn't I buy that bottle of wine on Friday?

Busy, Busy, Busy

So today turned out to be a fuck load busier than I anticipated. I got up early to take hubby to work so I could cash his check and deposit the cash in our checking account (I do this because our fucked up bank holds his check for 3 - 5 days otherwise - and that is baaaaaaad). Today hubby's boss didn't hand out checks at exactly 8 am as is his custom, but decided to wait 30 minutes to turn over the checks to desperate employees. And there I was... In the parking lot... In a small car... With 2 children... Who were not in the custom of WAITING.... By the time hubby got there both kids were whinny and I was searching my purse for a miracle tranquilizer or antidepressants - then I'd flip a coin to see if I took it or split it between the kids... sheesh. So we leave and head to cash the above mentioned check - at the same place as last time - the Oriental run donut shop/check cashing place. No shit from the clerk today and the kids were thrilled to get glazed donuts. I headed off to the grocery store that has a branch of my bank in it. It was about 9 am when I got there, guess what? The bank wasn't open yet. When I inquired as to the opening time I was told it was at 10 am. 10 AM!!!! A whole fucking hour! In the store! A whole fucking hour in the store with the little people!!! SHIT. We proceed to shop. We are hardly even halfway down the first aisle in produce and the little people are out of the toy car thing that is attached to the cart (why don't they have a large dog crate attached like that? One that only opens from the outside. Any store that had that would get my exclusive business) I'm already muttering threats through clenched teeth and counting to 10. Apples, bananas, oranges, cucumber, butternut squash, green beans and a tomato later we head to the next section - the beer and wine! I take an enormously long time browsing that section much to the little peoples distress, I even contemplated a bottle of cheap white zinfandel but ultimately decided to pass as I would be driving home after lunch and I really don't need another ticket . ;o) We FINALLY spend ONE hour in the store and the bank is open. I make it through the check out having only spent $30 in groceries for this week. Made the deposit and headed home. Sheesh. We get home a little after 10:30 am. Grr... Most of my morning wasted. Groceries put away, then I go searching for something for the kids to wear - this morning it was unusually cool for us and the little people were acting like the 63 degree weather was going to freeze them. Leave at 11:30 am to have lunch with hubby. We dine on delightfully greasy burgers. The little people are in awe of their $.50 jewelry purchased from the coin operated machines - you would have thought I had just given them something from Tifanys! By 12:30 or so we are headed home. A glance at the gas gage on the way home reveals that I'm in need of gas SOON. Ahhh great... And guess what, I've taken a wrong turn and am not exactly sure where I'm at. I figure since this is a major road it will hook up with something familiar soon - and for once I'm actually right. We get to the gas station a block from my town house and Super Girl informs me that she needs to go potty. Cabbage Patch is asleep. I tell her to hold it we will be home soon. I fill up. It takes maybe 5 minutes. I get in the car - she's wet her pants. *sigh* Home again. Cabbage Patch is again awakened and not happy. I put her in her bed for nap, she screams. Tell Super Girl to strip and get in the tub. I bathe with her (hey, I'm a mom... It's a common practice. I'd rarely ever get a bath if I didn't). When we get out Leila is still screaming. I go upstairs and see what the fuss is about. She stops. I head down to dry Super Girl's hair. It's quite funny to blow dry a 4 year olds hair - she was amused and intrigued yet terrified and repulsed by the experience. hehehe... When I'm done, Cabbage Patch is out of bed - no nap yet. Ok, fine, come on down. I start dinner, do laundry and suddenly it's after 3 pm! Where the hell has the time gone? I needed to get to the post office today! I get the kids dressed and we pick up hubby at 5 pm. Kids are whining. Back home for dinner. Change kids AGAIN. Head off to hockey game with brother in law, sister in law and nephew. Oh MY Gosh! That was so much fun! It was a Minor league team - the farm team for the Dallas Stars I think. The game kicked ass! 3 fights. The Texas Tornados won 10 - 2! The other team sucked ass - they must have been asleep. Many many hot men there to look at also. The kids actually enjoyed the game. A photographer took a pic of Cabbage Patch as she was trying to blow the big blimp balloon away - she was cute. When we got to the car after the game Super Girl tells me she has to potty. I consider telling her to wait until we got home - 15 minute drive, then I decided I'd rather not clean urine out of my car a second time today and asked her if she could squat down and pee in the bushes. She said yes she could - she was almost excited to do that! Hubby was MORTIFIED that she had peed in the bushes outside the mall (that's were we had to park since the parking around the arena was full) - hell it was worth haiving her pee in the bushes just for that reaction! We got home at nearly 11 pm - the kids were wiped out! And now.. So am I.

Night.

Would You Like Fries With That?




My dearest nephew started working at McDonald's a couple of weeks ago. He's not to keen on working for the golden arches , but hey, they boy has to have a job. In an apparent attempt to show company loyalty to McD's my 'brilliant' blond haired blue eyed nephew did the ultimate. He colored his hair RED. When he left for work one day my sister said "Have a good McDay Ronald!" to which he angrily replied "I do not look like Ronald McDonald. I have a buzz cut." and left. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 'I have a buzz cut'???? As if that would make a HUGE difference in his resemblance to the famous clown. hehehe... I'm so proud of him for putting so much of himself into his new job - heck I wouldn't be surprised to see him get a tattoo on his arm of the McD's logo.

Breakfast Club

hehe.. this was one of my favorite movies when I was in HS. Well all of Hughes movies, but THIS was the best.


Do I stutter?, You're John Bender, "The
Criminal", played by Judd Nelson, Rock on!


~Which Breakfast Club Member Are You~
brought to you by Quizilla


I actually thought I'd be the Alley Sheedy character, but Jud Nelson is much cooler than she was.

(yeah, yeah, I'm again at a lack of subject material for writing again... why do you ask?)

Fabulous Day

First I was whisked away in a fancy car, got to relax and sing along to the music while I was chauffeured to a wonderful dinner at a German restaurant followed by a decadent dessert. Exotic little presents just to make me smile then a luxurious massage and a stroll around the book store before heading back to my companions expensive ride and back home. Hmmm... I can't remember when I was pampered so much and wasn't expected to put out. My sister rocks! Yes it was my sister I was with and her expensive car, her kick ass sound system, she bought me dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, she bought me precious little knick-knacks, she paid for a massage for me at the book store and we did one of our favorite things of looking for books at Half Price.

I had a great day with my sister, she's very generous to me. We haven't been out shopping in a while and this was so much fun. I really needed a day out with her (and the little people) and I really really needed a massage! I had NEVER EVER gotten a massage before. Ahhhh... This was wonderful. It wasn't an entirely stress-free trip, I did have the little people with me (there was the trip to pick up D's SUV from the dealership and when I got Cabbage Patch out of her car seat I discovered that she had emptied her water in her lap, her shorts were soaked and she had a poopy diaper *sigh*, then the trying to order dinner at the restaurant and Super Girls' incessant whining - so much so that the waitress finally excused her self and promised to return in a few moments - I'm sure she was hoping that we would just leave and she wouldn't have to witness that scene again, and who could forget the screaming fits, the momma threats through clenched teeth and the sulking in the book store) - but it was a wonderful day. I wasn't at home doing laundry, cleaning the living room and I haven't even touched the vacuum all day long! :o)

Thank you D!

More On Hope

Unintentionally I spent about an hour with Hope today - Hope that's what I'm going to call the African woman. I scheduled Hope as my last appointment of the day, I did that intentionally so that I would not be rushed with her and I could make sure that she had really good photos of her baby. I ended up spending so much time with her because the nursery nurses were being lazy asses today and would not bring Hope her baby. Hope is having some issues with her lungs and really can't walk down to the nursery to get her baby herself. When Hope's baby finally arrived an hour had passed that I had been in her room listening to her musical exotic voice as she told me about her country and herself.

Hope comes from Zimbabwe her husband was from The Ivory Coast. She has two other children - 7 and 8. Hope also has a masters degree. She hasn't been in the US for more than 3 or 4 years. She told me how lucky I was to be an American where there are so many opportunities but was baffled at the masses of lazy people who just don't want to work. Her husband works two jobs now, I think so they can save money to return to Zimbabwe and buy a house. She told me how the economy in her country is bad but that the American dollar is very powerful there, how one can go with $10,000 American dollars and buy a house there, buy a lot of things. She didn't want to return to Zimbabwe now though, she said that the current president is not good and does not think of the country enough. She said so many more things, I listened intently as she spoke, hypnotized by her accent, enchanted by her sparkling eyes.

When my time with her was finish I was sad that it was time to go. I felt as though I had spent time with a wise sage and was sad that my flawed human memory would not record every word that she had uttered. I left feeling thankful for being lucky enough to have been born in America with so many opportunities. I was thankful for my life and my health and I really really hope that Hope lives a long prosperous life.

Hope Springs Eternal

Every so often in my line of work I come across someone who makes me stop and really think about my life. One time it was the 40 something parents who were having their newborn taken away by child protective services for an undetermined amount of time because the mother had tested positive for drugs. Another it was a beautiful baby that was being given up for adoption, the mother was just a teenager who had a nasty drug habit. Then there was the couple who had been married for 19 years and told early in their marriage that they would never be able to conceive or the mom who only had one working ovary (and only 50% at that) and her husband had a very low sperm count who after 10 years of marriage were shocked and elated to have a baby girl. The baby in NICU that was born with no stomach muscles. All of these experiences have made me thankful for the healthy children I have and many times made me thankful for the life I have. Out of the hundreds and hundreds of babies I have photoed I remember these people, most everyone else is just lost in the masses of faces I see each week, but these I remember. Today I met another face I'll remember for a while - maybe even forever.

I had three people on my list who were discharges for today. I got to my last one and there was an odd sign on the door saying not to use that door. What? I tracked down the nurse who was assigned that patient for the scoop. The patient was in an isolation room and I would have to go through the isolation door so I could gown up and glove up before entering then scrub up when I leave. One of the other nurses asked why, if she had some thing infectious (this is actually not that uncommon in NICU - sometimes babies get certain bacteria and we have to gown up in addition to our gloves then wipe down the cart to not spread the bacteria to well babies). The answer was one I didn't expect. The mom has HIV. The nurses talked back and forth for a moment as I thought about that. HIV. I immediately got a picture of what kind of woman this must be. I figured the mom wouldn't want pictures, she was probably low income, had a drug problem, a sleazy type woman... What other kind of woman would be having a baby while HIV infected? When I was finally able to go into the room what I saw was vastly different than what I had pictured. She was a painfully thin African woman. She looked very tired but wanted pictures of her brand new baby and she even knew what she wanted to order. I immediately was embarrassed by how I had prejudged her just by hearing HIV. It was hard to understand her because she had a very thick accent but I got the message of when she wanted me to come back and take the pictures and that she wasn't feeling very well at the moment. When I returned mom was feeling better but very tired, the baby was in the nursery because of her exhaustion so we rescheduled for tomorrow as she was being held for an extra day until she was better. She was a very nice woman, she thanked me and called me sweetie in her musical lilting voice when I left. I was touched by her optimism despite her HIV status. I don't know if I would be quite so optimistic in the same situation, I might be very resentful to know that I would probably not live to see my child become an adult or guilt and fear that I may have passed along the virus to my infant while in utero. She had none of that. She had hope. My heart aches for her situation, yet her optimism was contagious and I couldn't help feel her hope also. My life was put in perspective in those 5 minutes.

Recapturing My Inner 6 Year Old

Today it's raining, pouring really. The little people were about to pop at the seams, they wanted to go outside! So... I let them. Out we went in the pouring rain. We ran up and down the sidewalk laughing until we were all soaked to the bone. The little people loved it. It was cleansing for me. It only lasted 5 or so minutes - that rain was cold! Then back inside, change to dry clothes and time for lunch. And of course the little people want to go back out now. ;o)

September 11, 2001

I hadn't intended to write anything about 9/11 - I remembered it just hadn't intended to write about it. I guess I figured there were enough news articles and memorials going on today that I didn't need to do so. I was just checking the blogs I usually read - on one persons blog she was whining as usual and I had made up my mind I was going to write about how whining selfish people bug the shit out of me, then I went to my last blog on my list. Posted were pictures from 9/11, pictures of the rescue workers and wreckage, of memorials and big strong men crying and praying. I forgot how painful it was to see those images. It seemed that the world stood still for a while after 9/11. Terrorism became a household word. Images of terrorist became a normal occurrence on the news. Fear and hurt was behind everyone's eyes.

This is my memories of September 11, 2001.

It was my first day of work. Hubby and I were driving the little people over to my aunt for her to watch them while I worked. 5 or so minutes before we got to her house we heard a report on the radio that a plane had crashed into the WTC. At first we thought it was a joke, then we realized it wasn't. I thought maybe it was a small single engine plane that someone had crashed, not a huge 747. When we got to my aunt's house we asked her if she was watching the news, she stated she wasn't and we told her to turn it on now, someone crashed a plane into the WTC. '"Oh my God..." was all we could mutter as the television lit up showing footage of the plane crashing into the WTC, then the footage of the second plane smashing into the other tower in a ball of fire. I was baffled, I could not fathom how this could happen. Two passenger jets crashed into the towers, that had to be some kind of horrible mistake. I didn't even think of terrorism. We had to leave so hubby could get to work on time. On the way to his work we listened in utter shock and disbelief to the radio report the events. When I got to work for my first day of training Tami was waiting for me, she went through my training and we talked about what happened. In each room we went the television was showing coverage of the attack. New Moms were focused on this instead of the little blessings they were holding in their arms. The nurses had turned on a television in one of the empty rooms and they were all huddled in there watching the footage. We joined the nurses to watch and watched as the first tower collapsed then the second. I was too shocked to cry. Still hoping it was some sick joke.

When I left work and got to my aunt's house to get the little people she suggested I call hubby because buildings were being closed down. They closed his building. He came home early. I learned of the other two planes, the one that hit the Pentagon and the one in Pennsylvania and felt a horrible sick feeling in my stomach. My aunt is a Col. in the army and she had just left her term at the Pentagon just a few weeks prior. A dear friend of mine lives in Pennsylvania and I didn't know how close the crash was to him. Later that evening I spoke to him, he told me how he had stood on his front porch and could see the thick black smoke from the crash, he was less than 5 miles from the crash. I was relieved he and his family were unharmed.

We sat on the sofa and watched the footage. I remember nursing my 6 week old infant as the politicians sang America the Beautiful. I cried, we all cried. We watched the footage late into the night not sure if another horrible terrorist attack was going to happen as we slept.

And the next day... The sun came up, we went to work and life went on, not the same but we were still alive and we were all thankful for that.

In the days since 9/11 much has happened. The world has changed a lot and yet it's stayed the same in a lot of ways. The coverage of the incident got to be over done, the attack somersaulting, people became jaded. I did. I haven't even turned the television on to a news program today, didn't even think of it. I didn't want to watch yet another insincere memorial service. Yet the pictures made me think and made me weep. No words, just pictures from the event 2 years ago. Just a reminder that terror can strike us too.

Yesterday my friend Anat who lives in Israel sent a note. The most recent suicide bombings happened very near her. One person killed at the cafe' was the daughter of a childhood friend of hers. A father and daughter were two people killed at the hospital. He was a Dr. there and she was to be married the next day. This was the only time for father and daughter to have some time together before she wed. Now all the guests who had come to see a wedding would be attending a double funeral instead. Very sad.

We are lucky terror attacks are fairly rare in this country. Anat lives in constant fear for her and her family. I don't know if this 'war on terrorism' is a winnable war.

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla



Riyo - "Logical Change"
People of your personality type should visit:
www.life-blood.cjb.net


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla


Obviously I have nothing today... so stupid quiz day it is!

Strange Thoughts

Today an insurance agent I met with last week called to follow up with me. When he was here last week I kept thinking that visually he kind of reminded me of one of my old Sanchos. One that was particularly hot but was a jerk and wasn't all that good in bed. That amused me somewhat and distracted me as he was explaining the plan to me. Today when he called I was caught off guard by who he reminded me of. Bret one of my OTHER sanchos. The one who's wife would NOT stop e-mailing me. Very weird. Again I found it amusing and distracting. I started listening to his voice to hear how similar it was to Bret's and wasn't listening to what he was saying. Thankfully it was bed time for the little people and they were putting on a rather noisy protest so I had to get off the phone before I had to start asking him to repeat himself. It was odd and got me thinking about how I don't have a Sancho or a boyfriend and I haven't seen anyone in about 3 months. I haven't really given a crap about seeing anyone either. Who knows, maybe that will change. I got a message from someone I had forgotten about - we went out once and talked about it again but never could get the schedule right. Actually the past 3 weeks I've had 3 different people I dated contact me to find out if I'm free. Why am I putting all these men off? Why am I so ambivalent about them wanting to hook up? Am I crazy? Depressed? eh... Who knows.. I'm probably just profoundly bored.

Off to bed now.

I Have Other Things I Should Be Doing...

But I'm not. Just a quick note to clear my brain. The morning has been crazier than I had anticipated.

I forgot that the exterminator would be by today to treat for bugs (which is a good thing because I can't seem to get rid of the ants), hubby didn't do the dishes last night or this morning so I had to do them this morning. Super Girl got upset with me for giving them peanut butter sandwiches instead of waffles - Sorry kiddo mommy has to do dishes and doesn't want to make MORE of a mess. I frantically loaded the dishwasher, scrubbed the counters, swept the floor and took out the garbage as I have no clue when the pest man will be by. Cabbage Patch was pissed when she realized there was MILK in her sippy cup instead of Kool-aid and the cats are eyeing the fish tank hungrily - yes they are out of food again. *sigh* Why don't I have the willing lottery ticket???????

Anyway - the crisis' have abated now. Super Girl got past her pissyness and is watching Cinderella - after a sincere promise from mom to make waffles for lunch, Cabbage Patch is happy and so are the cats - I gave the milk to the cats and Kool-aid to the kid.

Ducks

Last night after dinner we went for a much needed walk. Off to the park (which is by the lake) for the kids to burn off some excess energy then a walk around the park. It was dark by the time we were walking around the lake and something got a group of ducks to quacking on the other side of the lake. Just moments before this happened I had told Super Girl that a group of ducks that we were passing were sleeping. Super Girl started yelling at the ducks "Quiet! Hush Quackers! You'll wake the city!" And of course Cabbage Patch had to join in. Quack!

Off to make my Livingroom Dazzle!

Carrot Cake Ramblings

I was looking on a recipe sight I frequent for some recipes and for some reason I thought about carrot cake, specifically the carrot cake my mother used to make. She had a favorite recipe that she used and she would make the cake very infrequently - always stating that it was complicated to make, yadda, yadda, yadda. In the years since my childhood I have come to understand two things, 1) that she was full of shit about it being hard, it's just a cake, it's not like she had to grind the wheat into flour to make the cake and 2) that her carrot cake wasn't all that good. Her husband LOVED the cake, but for some reason she didn't make it for him very often - maybe once a year (and not even for his birthday!) - that I don't understand... maybe she didn't like him nearly as much as she claimed to... eh... back to the cake... My sister hated this cake. It wasn't my favorite thing for her to make... actually.... nothing she cooked was my favorite, that's why I started doing all the cooking when I started high school. I was looking through all the recipes and noticed that a lot of them had pineapple in them, mom never put that in her cake – I guess her asshat husband didn't like it that way... who knows, maybe she was to lazy to open a can of pineapple. I also noticed a few other things in most carrot cakes that mom didn't have in hers, and I thought "hmmmm... no wonder her's sucked." Carrot cake isn't one of my favorite cakes, I don't mind it, but I generally avoid it unless I am the one who makes it. Why? Because most carrot cakes have raisins in them and I consider cooked raisins to be vile and disgusting. Anyway... thinking about the carrot cake and the raisins reminded me of something... and this is one for the TACKY WEDDING category.

A long time ago, an acquaintance of mine got knocked up and decided to marry the looser sperm donor. I got the honor of being her maid of honor at her slapped together justice of the peace wedding. The reception was held in the upper room of a local Chinese restaurant (the food kicked ass) and the wedding cake was a three layer carrot cake with yellow frosting that had raisins in it! That gave the cake the putrid appearance of having large bugs caught in the frosting. I still giggle when I think of that.

And The Word For The Day... Unmotivated

That's me today. That's me for the past while. Well maybe not all THAT long, but for about a week or so... maybe a month. I don't know. I'm not really up for figuring out exactly HOW long I've been unmotivate. I'm also starting to slack off on thing. That really sucks. I prefer to be unmotivated but not slack. It's not major things - I still get up every morning and shower, I still cook dinner every night, I still clean my house, still changing my underware daily, it's just the little things. I haven't made my bed in ... eh... it's been a while... my bathroom counters are all cluttered because I don't put things away... And the laundry, I'm doing it, I'm folding it, but unless I walk right into my bedroom and put it in my dresser, it's just going to sit on the end of my bed until I wear it. The worst part is that I absoutly loath that I'm slacking, but I'm completly unmotivated to actually DO anything to change that. I mean I THINK about how I need to change it, but putting the plan into action just doesn't happen. And I...

Eh... ya know what... I'm not even motivated enough to finish this...

I'm going to go to bed now, who knows I might make it to the bedroom door, become so unmotivated I decide to sleep right there, and hate it but be too much of a slacker to move. eh... I'll let you know tomorrow.

Missed Class Due to Bridge Being Out


Has that ever happened to you? No? hmmm… well it happened earlier this week when I went to take Super Girl to her dance class – her first dance class of the semester. Ya see, we walk from our town house through the park to the community center where the dance classes are held. We have to pass over a bridge that crosses the creek that feeds into the lake, and that bridge is low – very low. So Tuesday I think nothing of the fact that it had rained here most of the weekend and most of Monday. We walk through the park and get as far as the bridge where I see water rushing over it. Hmmm…. Not having the ability to walk on water or jump from one side of the creek to the other I decide we would forget about the dance class and just feed the two rather large ducks that approached us as we walked through the park. These ducks are massive – I would safely guess they weigh 20 or 25 lbs. We fed them LOTS of bread and half a bag of stale microwave popcorn – we fed them so much that I was in fact worried that either or both of the ducks would pop at any given moment. After the duck gorging we headed home. Wednesday was the wedding. Today the dance instructor called and told me that we could come today and Super Girl could make up her class. YAY! It hasn’t rained her since Monday so I figure that bridge won’t be under water today. Off we go, leaving a bit early just incase my calculations of water height is wrong and we have to trek out to find an alternate route to the community center. Lucky for me I was correct, the water had receded and we could pass over the bridge. What I didn’t figure on was that on the other side of the bridge the sidewalk would be covered in mud. Deep, thick, stinking, sucking mud. The kind that you step in and it makes that sickly sucking noise when you pull your foot out – if it doesn’t completely pull you shoe off! I sent Super Girl over the mud first, I figured she was small and she could scamper across the mud relatively unscathed – I was right, she didn’t sink in that much. Myself on the other hand. As soon as I stepped in the mud my foot sunk down. *Sigh* And here I was pulling the stroller with Cabbage Patch in it. What fun. I think it took me 5 minutes to get up the hill with Cabbage Patch. We stopped for a moment so I could scrape the inches of mud off the stroller wheels and off my shoes. Umbrella strollers are NOT made for OFF ROADING!!! The good part, we made it in time for Super Girl’s dance class, the bad part – we had to go home that route. On the way back I managed to avoid the mud for the most part (it was possible going that direction but not the other way). Then we fed two different fat ducks a bag of corn chips – are they bad for ducks? I hope I don’t read about dead ducks at the lake tomorrow…

The Secret Of Parenthood – Don’t Laugh!

Last week I went to Wally-World with my sister. A trip to Wally-World is almost always traumatic just by virtue of it being a freaking Wal-Mart. Anyway, we were on a mission to find shoes for the little people to wear to the wedding (yesterday). In the kids department Super Girl was walking around and the effects of Wally-World had already sunk into her – in short she was being a little brat and not listening. She was hiding in the clothes and popping out. At one point she hits my sister. My sister tells her to stop and I tell Super Girl to come to me right now (in my best Wal-Mart mom voice). I tell her that she needs to apologize to her Aunt for hitting her. She starts arguing with me saying she DIDN’T HIT HER! I finally say she needs to apologize and that’s the end of it and she says “I’m sorry Aunt D for not hitting you.” I had to look away so I wouldn’t laugh.

Knocking On My Door

It's turning into bug central around here. This is the latest visitor to be hanging out on my door. I find it creepy, Super Girl was fascinated.

Tidy Bowl, It Works On Toilets & Toddlers

No no, I haven’t taken to bathing my children in the toilet… although… they probably would enjoy that… just not gonna do that. Last night after our return from the wedding and reception we were counting down the minutes until bed time for the little people. Hubby was on the couch watching a Veggie Tales DVD for the 100th time with Super Girl. Cabbage Patch was wandering around the living room watching the show as she pulled toys out, I was uploading the photos from the wedding and reception. At one point I looked over and realized that hubby was asleep so I look around to see what Cabbage Patch is doing. I see her in the kitchen standing on a stool messing with something on the counter, I ask what she’s doing, as she turns side ways I see that she has blue on her hands and think she has gotten into some paint. “Oh no! Don’t move!” I say as I head to the kitchen to clean her up. Upon reaching the little one I see that she has blue all over her mouth and on her hands and she does NOT have paint at all. What she has is one of those toilet tablets that turn the water blue. EWWWWWWWW!!!!! I’m dumbfounded that she would put that in her mouth – it has a rather pungent smell to it. Her little fingers are stained blue – luckily I could get it off her mouth. At least her breath is fresh now. ;o) (I’m kidding of course)

Wedding Day

Well today is the day we are off to our friends wedding. I'm excited for them, they have been engaged for 2 years. I hope it's a nice wedding.... yet part of me hopes there's at least part of it that is horribly tacky and memorable. (I know, I'm a bitch) As I've said before, people really only remember the really tacky and appaling weddings. My own wedding is pretty much a blur... except... when my hubby dropped the wedding ring and we both said 'Shit!' lound enough that the people in the first two pews at the church could hear us... (Karma made it's way back to us years later when our oldest was learning to talk and learned to say 'Shit!'... and loved to say it at church) Friends of ours who have gotten married and had lovely weddings, well there's really not much to talk about. Mike's wedding - got nothing, it was lovely, D's wedding was lovely... but an uninvited guest made it quite memorable, a friend from church who had an enormous wedding... forgetable... I honestly can NOT remember much about that wedding, it was lovely, but nothing memorable, an old college friend of hubby's - oh yeah that was memorable - he married one of Satans daughters, she was a total bitch, one of the candles that the mothers were trying to light would not stay lit, people went up 5 times to relight that, then Daughter of Satan was a ice cold bitch at the reception, all of the grooms college mates got their revenge by throwing the groom in the air several times and catching him (I think it would have been better if they hadn't caught him the last time) pissing off Daughter of Satan to no end.

well I really should go, I need to gather clothing for the little people... and find something for hubby... he left today wearing to work what he planned to wear to the wedding. *tisk* *tisk* That man will NEVER get his gay card doing things like that. What would he do without me?

Duck!

My Cabbage Patch is a riot. She's got a glove on her foot walking around saying "Quack! Quack!" when I try to take it off her she pulls her foot away from me and says "Mine! My toes!" hehehehehe...

Divine Secrets

Last night we watched The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I was surprised, I actually liked it. It reminded me of my family and of growing up with my mother... not the happy funny parts of the movie, the painful, angry, abusive parts. I almost turned off the movie at one point, the scene was just far to close to my own upbringing for me. I don't know if my sister has seen the movie, I am curious to know what she would think of the movie.

I liked the movie, but it left me feeling sad and angry. Sad because my mother had a lot of problems that made her act very badly and because of that she wasn't the kind of mother she should have been... she could have been. Angry because I was some what jealous that the ficticious family in the move had a happy ending, something that will never happen in my family. Don't tell me I'm being negative - I'm being realistic, or that I need therapy - been there done that, the reality of what is and is not possible in my family is all to clear to me.

Anyway - if you have a nice healthy family, watch the movie it will entertain you. If you have a dysfunctional, abusive family - watch only if you have been in therapy for a while or are starting therapy - otherwise watch at your own risk. Men - don't bother watching, it's a chick flick.

Kitty Dreams

One of my friends (L) posted that she dreamed about getting two kittens - a brown one and a black one. she speculated that the dream meant that she wants a cat, a dog and a husband (there was more to it, I'm just cutting to the end). eh, maybe. I dreamed about getting a brazillian wax last night. I remember there was someone there with me as I was getting it done, can't remember who - I think it was a man. So... what does that all mean? Does it mean I need to wax? Not really, I keep a razor in the shower for this. Do I secretly desire a brazillian wax? Maybe... There is a certain alure of not having to shave for about a month. I'm not really sure why I dreamed of waxing at all - I was watching Godzilla VS Mechagodzilla before bed - not sure how that translates into brazillian waxing. I really don't think there is much more meaning to it than some random thought going through my dreams, but hey if you think it means something - feel free to let me know.

To L: About seeking a dog and husband..... I got a dog a few years ago. I had wanted a dog for a while - so I thought. When we had a house after much talking I convinced hubby to let me have a dog. She was a 35 lb Sheltie German Shepherd mix. Nice dog. I soon realized that owning a dog was not much like I had imagined. I really didn't like owning a dog. I didn't even like my dog all that much. It was one of thoes situations where it looks really good on paper but doesn't exactly work that way in real life. And that's it. End of my little story. Just remember that when you consider getting a dog.... or a husband for that matter. Maybe you could borrow someones for a bit to get a feel of what it's like.... I'm talking about the dog L, the dog (althought getting a loaner husband can be worked out also). Good luck in your quest!

Fish Speak

Super Girl just told me that Cabbage Patch knows how to speak Catfish. hehehehe... I have no idea where the hell she came up with that one.

Grave Digger

The last couple of days a new Dave Matthews song has been playing - 'Grave Digger'. It gives me chills to listen to it - today it came on as it started to rain. Great song - it's really really good like the stuff that he first came out with, ya know before he kind of sold out. I will have to check out the CD this is off.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, skulking amidst the icy wasteland! It is Judy, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a low grunt, her voice cometh: "I'm going to bruise you so forcibly, it will be a new form of crime!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Vorpal blade... tee-hee!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Hark! Who is that, striding on the tundra! It is Judith, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh: "Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

I like this one better... buzzsaw hand extensions - who could argue with that!

Look... new comments... Make one...

What A GREAT DAY ALREADY!

So I get up to take hubby to work this morning so I can go visit A and see baby C. Hubby tells me that I need to step on it, because if he's even a minute late on Fridays he will have to go into the big boss's office to get his check and will have to endure a lecture on punctuality (he was 2 minutes late once and had to sit though that). So I hit the gas and get him to work with a couple minutes to spare, on the way home I'm almost to the main hwy and I get pulled over for doing 57 in a 45. I rarely speed - I just wasn't paying attention to my speed. I didn't have my insurance card in the car either - I do have insurance just no card in the car - I thought for sure he would write me a ticket for the no insurance and hoped he would give me a warning for speeding. Nope. I got a WARNING for no insurance and a ticket for speeding. I also got a warning for the registration being out on the car - haven't gotten that from the dealership yet - the cop told me to take care of that before the temporary tags expire or I could get a ticket. I think this guy didn't get his donut this morning and was in a pissy mood, when I asked him if he knew how much the ticket would be he said it depended on my driving record... uh... bullshit, I know it's a set rate for speeding - I called my sister (unofficial queen of getting pulled over in the Dallas area) to confirm that. Sheesh. Looks like I'll be doing drivers ed again. *sigh*

THEN I get home and THIS


was hanging out on my door jam. I didn't notice right off but Super Girl stood in the door way staring up at it and said "That's BIG." I looked up and said "Shit, that's BIG."


And of course I had to grab my camera because I thought "Fuck that's BIG! I better get a pic! No one is ever going to believe this shit." I was just hoping that it wasn't an antisocial spider who hates photographers.

Ahhhh.... but the enjoyment doesn't end there. I made breakfast for the little people - pancakes - then Super Girl decided she needed red jello to go with breakfast. So guess what ended up on my carpet? Yeah, jello. Now unless you have kids and have had a jello incedent before I'm sure you are thinking it couldn't be that bad, jello is mostly solid so you can just pick it up. Not so. Jello is designed to stay sold in a dish or on a spoon but turn to a lethal permanent liquid dye the instant it comes in contact with carpeting or childerens clothing. I had a LOVELY time scrubbing the HUGE jello sploch on my carpet.

I haven't even gotten a shower yet.

ahhh... it's not even 11 am, I'm sure the fun has JUST begun! ;o)

later...

As I was writing this the little people stole upstairs very quietly. When I finished writing (about 5 minutes) I went to check if big ugly 8 legs was still hanging out by the door - Yup. I slammed the door a couple of times hoping to make the big fucker leave, no luck. I briefly consider the usual spider disposal method but rule that out for two reasons - 1) I can only think of two cans of aresol spray anything and I know that one is only half full from the last time I had to dispose of a spider and 2) spiders generally jump or fall when initally sprayed then run off - meaning he'd have a damn good chance of running INTO my house and if that happened, hell I'd just have to abandoned this place and find a new place to live! So I got my blow dryer from my bathroom and blew him off the door jam. I HEARD him hit the ground when he fell. ICK! But he's gone now and I don't have to worry any longer about him dropping from his comfee spot to ambush me (although my deep sense of spider paranoia will force me to check there everytime I open the door). Score 1 for Judy, 0 for Evil Spider.

At least I have ONE victory for today - anyway after all the spider nonsense I look up the stairs and see Cabbage Patch soaking wet! I call for Super Girl - soaking wet also. I called them downstairs through clenched teeth and didn't dare go up to see WHAT they were doing. *sigh* I need a drink.

Seeing Spots

I cleaned my fish tank today. I hadn't cleaned it since before the new fish joined the tank - I mean I HAD cleaned it but not a real thorough cleaning where I take out all the fake plants for a good scrub and vaccuum the gravel and replace about half of the water. I didn't want to stress Aegir and Ran and have them die right away (although that would be the BEST time for them to kick it as I would be able to take them back to the store and get new fish). Well... not entirely true... but it sounds a lot better than saying I was just to fucking lazy to clean the tank. I was staring at the fish after the cleaning... counting fish (it's a habit back from when I'd go through a lot of fish) and I got a good look at Aegir and Ran - well fuck me but they are getting gold spots! Damn! I asked the clerk at PetSmart if they would stay their colors or if they would turn gold, she assured me they would not change colors (yeah, I know, why the hell would I take the world of some 17 year old making minimum wage scooping fish at the PetSmart). Well Ran my all white Ryukin now has a gold spot on her stomach and Aegir my blue Oranda (who did have a touch of gold on him to start with) now has large amount of yellow gold coloring near his dorsal fin and on his head bumps. Grrr....

I know I know... I'm sickly obsessed with my fish...

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Actually not me... I hate baseball - it's probably the most boreing sport. But hubby and Super Girl seem to enjoy it. Hubby got tickets to the minor league baseball game for tonight and he's going to take Super Girl and his dad. Super Girl LOVES going to the game with her daddy. Cabbage Patch is much like her mommy and can only sit through a small part of it... last time we went, I think I was ready to go right after the singing of the national anthem.

I'm excited that they are going because that means that I after Cabbage Patch goes to bed at 8 pm I'm all alone! Woohooo! Blessed Peace and Quiet! Yay Baseball!

Yoga Ass Kicking

Well I didn't get to my yoga first thing this morning - the little people got up early. Nap time I finally got a chance to break the seal on my new yoga tape. It's a Denise Austin Yoga tape. Has three 30 minute sections to it, cardio, strength training and something else... I'm not really sure, the cardio part was kicking my ass... It's not a bad tape, but it's not exactly like my other yoga tapes - which are just yoga - not power yoga. So I was not prepared for how quick she went from one pose to the next. But hey, I did it. I think I'll do one of my other tapes tonight because I was kind of falling all over myself and don't really think that gave me a complete work out... I think you're supposed to be able to hold the pose without falling over for it to actually count.

BOOK REVIEW
American Gods by Neil Gaimen

I absolutly loved this book. It has an odd start but a good one. I really can't go into the plot because I think I would either describe it so badly you would never want to read it or I'd totally ruin the plot. I was a little - and only a little - bit disapointed by the ending, not that it was a bad ending, just that I had hoped that a couple of things would have turned out just a little different - but only a couple. I do love this book and I've always love Gaimen as a writer back from the Sandman Comics. One thing I liked a lot about the book is that the main subject - the American Gods - was a subject he had covered in bits and pieces through out the Sandman Comics so I felt like I knew several of the characters and the story felt familiar and it was a fairly simple story although at the end you realize that Gaimen has been quietly weaving in other little stories which he wraps up neatly at the end. It ends as it should, with an ending that the reader expects and wants and with some parts that you don't expect and maybe don't really want. the story is one that could make you sit and ponder the universe and your tiny existence in the universe if you wanted... or just enjoy the story. It's a book I would actually read again - and that's saying a lot (I never reread books). So enough already, get the hell up from the computer and head to the library! READ A BOOK! ;o)

Yoga

I've been tired lately. Really tired. It's nothing new or alarming. It happens every month. I'm going to try to make some changes to how I live to see if I can minimize the exhaustion period of each month. Tomorrow I'm going to get up at 7 am to do some Yoga - hopefully this will happen BEFORE the little people wake so I can do this without their 'help' and 'participation'. Let me explain how yoga goes with my two kids around. I start doing the poses, Super Girl says she wants to do yogurt with me, I tell her it's YOGA and say fine. She does some, Cabbage Patch wanders over and starts mimicing me as well. Super Girl and Cabbage Patch try to occupy the exact same space to do yoga and I end up telling them to stop it. I move to new pose, little people wander away, I think "Ahhhh peace now" and continue my breathing and holding of poses, 30 second later as I move to a sitting position little people return to watch me, I invite them to join hopeing they will join and it will some how have a peaceful calming effect on them, Super Girl sits on the floor Cabbage Patch lunges into my lap. Time to move to new pose, Cabbage Patch has to be moved from lap and protests. Floor poses, the little people find these poses far to irresistable - they must participate... by climbing on my back! It's very hard to maintain peaceful breathing with two kids fighting to be on your back! A few minutes later after shooing the kids away I'm back to the poses, trying hard to unclench my jaw and breath deeply - but that's hard when you have to keep growling threats to the kids to stop doing whatever they are doing. Yoga finally ends, I'm not much in the way of relaxed.

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

EVIL Shopping

Ahhh the other thing I have been shopping for was health insurance, well that and the PERFECT pair of RED shoes... but I digress. Anyway, I had an appointment for two separate insurance agents to come buy and dazzle me with their plans. The first was a man and he had a great plan with many many options and it was pretty damn'd affordable - the pricing was right where I wanted to pay and the coverage was really good. He left his pricing sheet and plan info as well as his card for me. The second person was a woman. In between the two visits I had a separate agent call and tell me he was getting quotes for me and inform me that due to my weight some companies might give me a higher premium. OK, whatever, just bring me the quotes. Anyway, the woman comes in and sits down and tells me that due to my weight I am uninsurable, but that she can offer insurance for my kids. I tell her no, I don't want insurance for my kids from a company that won't insure me, that I can get insurance for my kids from the state of TX for $18 a month for each kid but I'd rather get a plan for me and the kids. Then she continues on telling me that according to the 'industry standards' I am uninsurable and alludes to some other valuable information she has in her papers there. I tell her that is bullshit that due to my weight I am uninsurable. She looks at me like I just shot at her. Then she says something else about a plan that she has - a medical discount plan. And she reaches into her portfolio like she's about to pull a rabbit out of a hat. What she brings out is some thing with a chart of height and weights on it and and how insurable people are. Then she procedes to find my height and slide her finger over to my weight and point out the heading of the column that says 'uninsurable'. I say am getting pissed with this woman, I've already said for her to show me what she has at least 3 times. I'm tired of her showing me crap. I want to see prices and coverage. Then she starts pitching the discount plan. When she pauses I say "So this won't help me if an accident happens." her reply is "yes it will, the discount will be there." and I say "but this isn't insurance." and she concedes "No, you couldn't say you had insurance." I got up and headed to the door saying "I'm not interested. I've already talked to a nice man with nice quotes for insurance." and I opened the door. She gathered up her crap quickly and said "Well I'm sorry for wasting your time." and I just shut the door. I was pissed that she would waste my time like that. She called to confirm the apointment today, she could have told me her company didn't want to insure me due to my weight, i would have been offended but I wouldn't have been pissed that she wasted my time. shit I'm still pissed. I'm going to go finish reading American Gods now and cool off.

Coming Soon! My RANT on the insurance industry!

Shopping!

Yes I went shopping today... ahhhh... it's the only activity I never get tired of. It was an impromptu shopping trip. My sister stopped by after she finished some things. We had a really nice time, except it ended way too soon. The little people were even good!

We went to lunch first - I didn't put a speck of make-up on - D had this beautiful black pant suit on and a colorful silk shirt so we didn't look like we should be out together. At the end of lunch these two butch dikes walked past us, D points to an enormous tatoo on one and compliments it (she didn't really like it she just wanted to point out the tatoo on this chick that was about as big as a bread plate - I know rude, but only I knew she was insencere about the compliment) so I was teasing her that now the dikes were going to think she was hitting on them. hehehe... My kids looked like rag muffins so they matched me. Super Girl had a painted t-shirt on with black flowered jeans - she chose the outfit and would not change to anything that matched... uggh... she has her daddy's fashion sense (*note to all* Fashion sense does not come naturally to all gay men... unfortunatly), Cabbage Patch was wearing some tie dyed shorts and a denim shirt - cute but rag-muffin-ish. Eh, we had fun.


Oh the best part - I bought some adorable black strappy sandles on sale! Woohoo! I'm going to wear them to a wedding next week. Hey... do these shoes make my feet look fat?

Yes D, I did paint my toe nails before I took the pics - I didn't want my feet to look all schlumpy!

Alternative Kitty Livestyles
or Lesbian Pussy

Here's the conversation taking place right now:

her: 'Mamma, can Sunshine have kittens? Please. Please. please.'
me: 'no'
her: 'Why?'
Me: *thinking for a moment* 'Because... because she doesn't have a husband.' *thinking I had a good answer*
her: 'Dusty can be her husband'
me: 'no Dusty is a girl'
*her: 'A boy!'
me: 'no, she's a girl' *
Repeat from * to * until your head hurts
her: 'But can she have kittens?'
me: 'no... she doesn't have a husband'
her: 'oh please, Dusty can take care of them.'
me: 'no.'
Her: **continued generic begging similar to what's already been said by her.
Me: Ignoring the actual content of what she is babbling about now, it's all turning to a dull humm in my head.

I think I'll leave this up to hubby to explain to her that the cats are both GIRLS and can't have kittens together. I don't really want to get into same sex relationships and how they would need a donor to get pregnant or one wild drunken night out with no regrets (although we all know that Sunshine would have regrets - she's just that kind of cat, I honestly thinks she's probably Catholic or Jewish what with that guilt complex she has - and Dusty having a wild night out that resulted in conception is totally insane as she truly is the lesbian - and a male hating lesbian as that... but I digress). There will be no Pussys Gone Wild involving these cats!

Weird Kid

Super Girl is wearing a scarf around her face like a blind fold. I don't know why she wants to do this, but she does.... some where from far far ago I have a vague memory of myself doing a similar activity - tieing a bandanna around my eyes as a blindfold. I can't remember the significants just that for some odd reason I WANTED to do that and I enjoyed it. Odd... I suppose strange things travel through the genes of a parent to the genes of a child.

Still it disturbs me a little to see her doing this, I have images of hostages in Beiruit flashing in my mind. Yet she still does this. Hmmm... should I worry? Should I start employing terrorist tactics to make her nap (i.e. the blind fold)? I suppose this is some what better than what she was doing earlier, she had a plastic shower cap on her head - you know the kind found at hotels in the bathroom designed to protect one's hair from getting wet in the shower - well she had that pulled over her head, mostly her face. *sigh* Kids.... now I know why there are inane warnings on items like garbage bags and pails.

Male Or Female Blogs...

Check out the Gender Genie- it's good for a laugh. I checked everyone's blog I read regulary. It boasts an 80% accuracy. A was thought to be a male - I think it was the high content of profanity for that particular entry though, and it thought co-worker was a female for all of his posts... hmmm... is he really a she? hehehehe... just teasing.

*note* I just checked the rest of A's post on the front page of her blog - she always registers as a man. Even her rants about being pregnant! HAHAHAHAHA! I guess A just writes like a man. ;o)

Work Crap

My boss is a complete moron. I worked the evenings from Monday until Wednesday. I talked to my boss on Tuesday to see if she would be training at the hospitals on Wednesday and she told me that would not happen until Thursday so please go in on Wednesday. So I did. I get a call this morning from field support saying that no one has been there. Damn it! I left her an e-mail on Wednesday- something she is supposed to be checking! - and let her know of the situation at the hospital. Now it's Friday and the hospital is pissed (rightfully so). I'm not working tonight, I have things I have to do.

Damn... my boss is such a moron. She tries to APPEAR as though she really on top of things but she's not. It's hard to have respect for someone who is so incompetent.

Update: Here it is almost 1 pm and I get another call from my boss' boss. Apparently my boss took the day off to go to a wedding this weekend. She must have forgotten about work. Dumb-ass.

Blast From The Past




Recently I was pilfering through my cookbooks looking for an interesting recipe. I found this little bitty cook book that came with my hubby's mother's crock-pot or should I say CROCK-POT - that's how it's written throughout the book. Some of the recipes are pretty disgusting but still entertaining (to me at least). The best part of the book is these little notes at the bottom of some of the pages. They are so dated! These little notes are aimed at the typical 1960's homemaker and mom.

Here they are (with my comments added):

Make MONDAY a fun day - Lock the door... go off for the day. Go to work relieved, or visit friends. Before you leave, put one of these recipes in your CROCK-POT and when you get home your hot food will be waiting! (yeah right.... If I want hot food when I come home from work I call for pizza or pick up something on the way home!)

TUESDAY's a good news day - This could be the day for cards, the garden, or the laundry. Just put food in the CROCK-POT and off you go withoug a care. Dinner will be ready whenever you return! (OK, if Tuesday is my good news day... I'm not going to waste it doing LAUNDRY - I'm headed for the day spa for a manicure, pedicure and massage while sipping a frozen drink and dreaming about sandy shores and a muscled up young guy taking care of my every whim... I doubt I'd even give dinner a thought.)

Turn WEDNESDAY into "lens day" - Photography? Golf? Tennis? Skiing or skating? Whatever it's a good day for, it's also good for a recipe in this book. Be a sport, let the CROCK-POT do the work while you're away! (Why don't you 'be a sport' and take me out for dinner since I'm so damn busy having fun?)

THURSDAY could be a "hers" day - Maybe you're invited to a party, or club meeting. For two or three cents your CROCK-POT will fix dinner while your gone. It does just as good a job when nobody's watching! (Hmmm... for a few bucks will it clean the kitchen after dinner?)

Is FRIDAY "buy day? - Go shopping. Or stay home and rest without running to and from the kitchen. you needn't watch your CROCK-POT, and it doesn't heat up the kitchen either! (no running to and from the kitchen... yeah right... with 2 little kids? sure...)

Every SATURDAY a "no matter" day - Take yourself off the to the ball game! Or follow any sport, sport! Dinner will cook itself. If you plan to get home at 6, but don't return 'til 8 or 9 - no har, nothing will get burned. (Ok, if I don't get home until 9 or so then I've probably already had dinner, sport.)

SUNDAY - church, or fun day. Visit relatives. Go on a picnic. Put food in the CROCK-POT before you go - plug it in - and forget it! mak Sunday a carefree day. (um... I generally don't worry about dinner on Sundays - that's what hubby is for, he can call for a pizza just as well as I can)

heh, heh... who came up with that crap?

I do love my crock-pot though. I used it quite a bit when I worked full time. I don't use it as much now that I'm home most of the time - I don't mind cooking when I do have time to cook.

Oh almost forgot the best part of this cookbook - the back page where it advertises some other Rival products. Here are some things to add to my wish list.
The Can-O-Matic - can opener/Knife Sharpener, The Grind-O-Matic - Electric grinder and chopper and The Ice-O-Matic - Electric ice crusher. How have I managed without them!!!!

Red Fish, Blue Fish

My littlest one is being funny, she's standing on a stool staring at the fish tank saying "Hi fish" over and over, ever so often she looks at me and babbles something to me (she doesn't speak much English yet and I don't speak that Alien babble she was born with so I can only guess some things she says), I said "Whats wrong? The fish not talking to you?" and she nods her head then she pinches her nose and says 'honk, honk, honk!'

Not Quite As Planned

I had to work tonight. I went into work - I really don't like going into work in the evenings - and I take one babies picture then I go to the next room and... my camera is not working. I can't get it to work either and since it's almost 9 pm there is NO ONE to call to offer suggestions on how to fix it. Luckily we have a spare film camera at the hospital so I could get the next babies pics - and make the sale. Just frustrating - and it took so long I couldn't get to my other hospital. Oh well... life goes on.

Goths, General asshats
Circle I Limbo

Libertarians
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Republicans, Democrats
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Scientologists, Militant Vegans
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

DMV Employees, PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

NAMBLA Members, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Heh... that was funny. Thank L for that ;o)

Hee! You are Jack's "You have to find
yourself a girl, mate ... you're not a eunuch,
are you?" speech. You're quite a bit sex-
crazed, and you assume that everyone else is as
horny as you are. Get it on as soon as
possible so that you can join the rest of us on
Planet Earth ... I'm sure you'll have a good
time doing so.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Heh, heh... I only did that quiz so I could have a picture of ever so hot Johnny Depp on my blog. ;o) mmmm....

Oops! My Ass Is Gone!

If you have VH1 you must check when I Love The 70's and Totally Gay - I have laughed my ass off! Way to damn funny.

Think about this - Hee Haw...

Bad Moon Rising

Have you ever had one of those moments where something just creeped you out? Like you suddenly thought about a friend and had the feeling something 'bad' was going to happen to them? Then you had to call them just to make sure they were ok? You laughed and felt like a fool, but secretly were relieved that they had picked up the phone. I think we all have had one of those moments. How about a precognative moment or dream? Maybe, well I have. Not often - I've had 3 precognative dreams - they happened months before the event and involved people I hadn't met yet and situations I could not imagine myself in, then when they did happen I didn't realize it until I was deep in the moment. Odd thing is that I wrote down each of these dreams in my journal, a think I almost never did. Precognative moments, I've had several of them and have never been wise enough to realize them for what they were until it was too late. My most noteable moment - right before I took my cat Sinnamon into the vet office for her to be dipped (a procedure that was only made safe by them anethisitizing her) I had a flash of me getting a phone call from the vet telling me that she had died. The feeling was quite strong and I almost got back into the car with my cat and went home. I didn't because I dismissed the thought as me being paranoid and I really did need to bomb my apartment for fleas (why she was being dipped). I dropped off the cat and once again while in the exam room talking to the new vet I had the urge to leave with the cat but I didn't. When I picked hubby up from work I told him about it and he assured me that Sinn would be fine. I got the call from the vet just as I had visualized it. I still feel an acute pang of guilt when I think about it. There were other times, lots of other time. Today I dozed off while making Super Girl take a nap. I dreamed an odd dream and at the end of it I was meeting my sister at a restaurant. When we got there we put our stuff at the table then we both went to separate places, me to get a manicure - fake nails at that and her to go to a tarot card reader. When I finished I met her at the tarot card readers place, once there I realized that the manicurist had only done ONE of my hands (eh, no wonder it only cost me $5!) and the reader cheerfully told me she had done D's cards - two cards came up for her, the Negative Moon and the Evil Moon, then she informed me that D (who was smiling and all) wanted me to do the last card and the interpretation for her. I didn't pull the last card but I knew it was going to be a moon card. Then I woke up with a very strong feeling of forboding for my sister.

I had to look up the moon card as soon as I woke. The moon is an unfortunate card to turn up. It fortells bad luck and decite, a dark cloud above a person so to speak. There is no Evil Moon or Negative Moon in the deck. I called my sisters home number... no answer. Then I called her cell... again no answer. I left a message on her phone for her to call me. 20 or so minutes later I called her cell again, this time she answered so I told her my dream. Seems the dark cloud has already developed above her. Her husband's grandmother is in the hospital currently - things are kind of up in the air as to how she will do. Her mother-in-law is very distraught about the situation and her son lost his job almost as quickly as he got it. I still have the feeling that the dream is fortelling something else. The beginning of the year I did a reading for D - a month by month spread - and August was a month that was very negative, oddly enough at the Christmas party of hubby's that I had a reading done (2 actually) August was a very distinct month as having someone die or something like that - a woman. I happen to be somewhat close to D's in-laws so that would be some thing that would affect me also. Anyway... just babbling...

*note* if you don't belive in any of this shit, that's cool, but do me a favor and keep any negative or derogatory comments to yourself and respect my thoughts and beliefs on this matter.

Warning! Catty Moment Ahead!

I just read these headlines Roseanne Show Canceled Due to Illness and my first thought was 'What? is the show making viewers sick?' heh... somebody smack me. (Rosanne is having surgery next week, that's the real story, not my bastardization - mine is more fun though)

It’s Time To Play ‘What’s That Smell!’

This past weekend was one of our game weekends. The little people love the game weekends. It means lots of people to play with, copious amounts of junk food and a guaranteed late bedtime. This was a bit different, in fact even better because it included a big sugary birthday cake (mine) for all to share.

Cabbage Patch was put to bed right on time (she’s only 2 and has no concept of time so putting her to bed right on time and pretending it’s late always works for her). Super Girl was escorted up to bed about half an hour later. As usual she got out of bed (woke up her sister also) and started to pilfer through things she was not supposed to be in. Every time I heard a noise that sounded distinctly not cat like but more like children-having-funish I would leave the game and head up the stairs to threaten children and put them back into their beds.

At one point it was relatively quite but I started to smell an odd yet familiar smell. At first I thought it was a figment of my whacked out imagination. Up the stairs I went to investigate. Yes the little people were up, yes the smell was coming from upstairs and yes I was getting pissed now. The little people had locked themselves in the bathroom and I could hear them trying to be quiet – which anyone knows that when you are little and you ‘try to be quiet’ you are always making plenty of noise to attract the attention of any mom type person in the vicinity. I unlocked the door and this is what I saw, my 2 year old standing on the commode while my 4 and a half year old spreads a thick coating of Vics Vapor Rub all over her! Immediately I sent Super Girl off to her bed – I figured the time it would take to clean up Cabbage Patch would cool off my temper enough to not spank the living daylights out of Super Girl. I got soap and wash cloth and started washing down Cabbage Patch – I was actually quite nervous that she would get some of that crap in her eyes. The whole time I’m thinking “I didn’t even know we HAD any Vics Vapor Rub. The last I remember us buying any of that was 4 years ago when Super Girl was a baby and had a bad cold. Is this the same jar? Does that stuff go bad? Is my baby going to suffer something horrible from not only having been covered in vapor rub but also having been covered by expired vapor rub?? Am I just being paranoid? Is it possible for my kids to get brain damage from being exposed to so much vapor from the rub? Would I even notice that? Doesn’t this stuff sting after a while of being on your skin? Why isn’t she complaining? Why did she let her sister do that to her? Where the hell is the jar this vapor rub came from? Hey! Are they eating my cookies down stairs? Stay Away From My cookie!” Or something like that…

So I change Cabbage Patch into clean jammies and take her to her room only to have my senses assaulted by the even more pungent aroma of vapor rub in their room. Apparently the incident started in their room, in the crib. The jar was IN the crib, the sheet was covered in vapor rub, the pillows were covered in vapor rub, the quilt was covered in vapor rub… and I was getting pissed again. I muttered some thing to my children about not moving off Super Girl’s bed until I tell them to or they would be grounded until they were eligible for retirement and headed to the linen closet for fresh sheets and such.

So half an hour after I go upstairs to investigate the smell I finally come down stairs with an arm load of offending bed linens and pajamas. By this time everyone downstairs had figured out the smell and were making funny (at least to them) comments about how their sinus were so darn clear now. Ha-ha.

That was my fun for the weekend…..

New Arrival!

My dear friend A had her newest baby today! I'm excited for her. (I knew that if they pushed that shower back it week she have that baby early!!) Congrats A and baby C!!! I guess I had better get that dress finished. ;o)

Welcome To Wally-World!

We had to head to Wal-Mart tonight. We went to the 'Super Wal-Mart', Super Girl was thrilled at that. I didn't really want to go to the Super one, I could have gone to the regular one and been fine, but hubby doesn't like that - too hick-ville for him. I must admit, it is hick-ville. We do after all live on the edge of hick-ville and civilization (we are on the civilization part... just barely). And hubby does work out in the middle of no-where, so we live at the edge of hick-ville and civilization which is about 20-30 minutes from no-where, but I digress. Wal-Mart is one of those strange places where you go into to buy a few things and end up buying a cart load of crap you really don't need. Today was no different. We spent $100+! Yikes! We really didn't need all that many things either - diapers and some other things but there were so many OTHER things just there in the store... just things we MIGHT need... The kids were ok in the store, but something about being in line to check out flips that annoying psychotic brat switch and all bets are off. My little ones don't really beg for crap through out the store all that much but once we hit the check out line the start whinining and grabbing things, smacking each other... *sigh* anyway... It was a typical trip to Wally-World, what a joy, must do it again.

Puppet Sickness

I love puppets. I've always loved puppets. I think it goes back to when I was a wee child and would watch Sesame Street. I loved all of the puppets (except Guy Smiley - there was something far to creepy about that guy) and I wanted to be one of the puppet masters. My dreams of puppet mastery were left with all of my other childish notions - flying like Superman, learning to speak to animals, owning a tiger and becoming a call girl (an telephone operator - I was 3 I didn't know what they were called!)... mostly that is... 10 years ago my hubby and I joined a church and volunteered to help out the VBS - our task, the Puppet Ministry. I cringed at first. We had to procure puppets AND write puppet scripts that fit the lessons. Hubby had connections, he knew where to get puppets. We went to pick them up from another church, we would borrow them for the duration of VBS. After work one day we went to pick them up together. Then I saw her, her wild blond wig, giant smile and wiggly eyes had me from the start. I slipped her on my hand and called her Sassy! She came to life! She became my alter ego. On the drive home I had Sassy and another puppet I dubbed Aretha talking and screaming and being panicked to be in the car with hubby driving - some man driving a truck nearly wrecked he was laughing so hard. At the end of VBS I reluctantly relinquished Sassy and her posse. The next year we did VBS puppet ministry again - but NOT with Sassy - it wasn't the same. I had experienced Sassyness and the lame dog puppet was no replacement for Sassy. Year go by, I put the whole puppet thing behind me. Then one day I see it on TV. A puppet... doing commercials... the now defunct Pet's.com spokes puppet! I fell in LOVE! I NEEDED that puppet. Eventually I GOT that puppet. Yes yes he did become my alter ego. Hubby hated that puppet some days. My children LOVE the puppet and have gotten him quite soiled - I usually have to either hide him to keep him safe or fight the kids when ever I want to use him.

Why do I bring this up? Well I'm a little off mentally, but you all know that... really because of the box the kids found yesterday - today I plan to make it into a Televison an make Sock puppets to provide programing! Woohoo!

Well I need to go... Sesame Street is on. ;o)

Hundreds Of Toys Around But They Would Rather A BOX!

This afternoon the little people were rather funny. They found a banana box in their room (it had previously been on a top shelf filled with things they should not have been digging through). The box has a large opening in the bottom. Super Girl brought the box down stairs and was pretending it was a televison and she was the programing. I would take the DVD remote and say "this show is boreing, I wonder what else is on. click, click, click." to change the channel. She thought that was an absolute riot. I think tomorrow we might decorate the television and make a schedule of programs. I'm thinking sock puppets! :o)

She's a funny kid, the past month she would find the Chinese take out menu and pretend she was the owner of a restaurant. They didn't have a wide range of chinese food available and they had monkeys working in the kitchen (she said so). I asked her last week if she still had her restaurant to which she answered no - I asked her what happened, she said it got closed I said "Well that's what happens when you have monkeys working in the kitchen! Did you get closed for health code violations?" her answer "Yeah. Too bad." what made that even funnier was that a while back she told me that the name of her restaurant was China Coast! this was funny because China Coast used to be here in Dallas and we LOVED it but it closed down - the week before it closed down I ate there and got a horrible case of salmonilla poisioning, so her 'China Coast' being closed for health code violations gave hubby and I a giggle.

eh... better go to bed... just babbling now.

And They Were Named...

Ægir and Ran - the blue Oranda is Ægir and the white Fantail is Ran. I kept with my pattern of naming my fancy goldfish from Norse mythology. These names fit rather well - at least I think so.

Here's a little bit about both names:

Ægir: is the god of the sea in Norse mythology. He was both worshipped and feared by sailors, for they believed that Aegir would occasionally appear on the surface to take ships, men and cargo alike, with him to his hall at the bottom of the ocean. Sacrifices were made to appease him, particularly prisoners before setting sail.

His wife is the sea goddess Ran with whom he has nine daughters (the billow maidens), who wore white robes and veils. His two faithful servants are Eldir and Fimafeng. The latter was killed by the treacherous god Loki during a banquet the gods held at Aegir's undersea hall near the island of Hler (or Hlesey). Aegir was known for the lavish entertainment he gave to the other gods.

And his wife Ran: is the goddess of storms, and the wife of the sea god Aegir. She rules over the realm of the dead which is situated on the bottom of the ocean. She sinks ships and collects drowned sailors in her nets and takes them to her hall where she tenderly ministers them (drowned persons neither go to Valhalla nor to Helheim). With Aegir she is the mother of nine daughters (the billows), who wore white robes and veils.

A Victory At Last

Well I achieve a bit of a victory in restoring order to the realm of chaos (the little people's bedroom... which is located in close proximity to the nether world – hubby’s bed room). And I did it before nap time! I did not completely vanquish chaos from there but I do not believe it is ever possible to completely remove chaos from a child's environment. Children are little minions of Chaos after all. Anyway the floor is now visible and most of the toys are put away. My fellow warden of this prison of chaos (hubby) will get the great honors of hanging all the little people's clothing back up in the closet - I just didn't want to do that.

Somebody Elses Shoes Please

This is how my day has gone so far...

Up a little after 7 AM to the sound of one whining toddler and a preschooler fighting over something. Higher powers only know what the hell they were fighting over and they may be the only ones who care either.
Me:"*Grumble* *grumble* What are you doing up already? And what are you fighting about?"
Them: "Maaaamaaa I want some chocolate milk... Maaamaaaa can we watch cartoons? Maaamaaa... Maaamaaaa"
Me: "Yes yes fine. Just a minute. What do you want for breakfast?"
Them: "Um... I dunno. Chocolate milk?"
Me: "I'm getting your milk. Breakfast, what do you want?"
Them: "Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... I dunno."
Me: "Here, take this to your sister." (handing one the cups of choco milk)
Them: "Thanks mom!" gallop off to watch cartoons
Me: Head to computer to check e-mail quickly
Them: 30 seconds into e-mail checking "Maaaamaaaa... I'm hungry"
Me: "What do you want?"
Them: "A popsicle!"
*Me: "No."
Them: "but... but.. but.. I waaaaaant one!"*
* (repeat conversation from * to * until you're almost brain dead then move on)
Them: "Waffles!"
Me: "OK" head to kitchen to make waffles
Them: "I want to help!"
Me: "OK"
**Them: "I can do it! Let me do it! Maaamaaa!"
Me: "No no not yet! Don't touch! Listen to me! Be careful - no not yet! If you can't listen to me you will have to leave. Stop fighting girls! Ok, that's good."**
** (repeat per instructions above)
45 minutes later.
Me: thinking "ok now I can fnish my e-mail"
Them: thinking "heh heh heh, now she's distracted, we can head upstairs and cause utter chaos!!! Bwhahahahahahaha!!!"
Me: every 5 or so minutes "Girls, what are you doing?!!"
Them: "Just playing!"
15 minutes later
Toddler comes down the stairs minus diaper.
Me: "where is your diaper? Oh no your poopy! Come here! You need a bath!"
Them: "Yay a bath!"
Me: "go into the bathroom now!"
Me: head off to get towels
Them: thinking "hehehehehe... just wait until she sees the chaos we have caused!"
Me: get bath started then run upstairs to find dirty diaper "Ahhhhhhh! what the hell happened in here?!"
Everything in the closet has been removed and scattred through out the bedroom - even things on the top shelf. Head down the stairs to the bathroom, "Girls, why did you..... Ahhhhh! What the hell happened in here?!?!" the bathroom floor is SOAKED, the girls were splashing and splashing. "*Grumble* *Grumble* Stop splashing! Get washed up and get out of the bath, I'm going to go get some towels, if I come back to you splashing YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT HAPPENS!" Leave to get towels
Them: laughing, high fiving, thumbs up "Bwhahahahahaha! Ahhh Partner in chaos, we have achieved our objective today. In less than 2 hours we have spread chaos through out 3 rooms in this domicile! It's not even close to lunch time! If we keep this up the maternal being will be ready to commit by the time the paternal being returns from his employment place. This is a good day indeed."

Thank God they aren't like this EVERY day... and THANK GOD for whoever decided to bottle and mass market Jack Daniels! Yeah I need a drink.

Disclaimer: The above mentioned events are a slight dramatization of what actually occured this morning... slight... and only a slight dramatization

And I still haven't gotten to my e-mail yet!

Fishy Dreams

After a super busy and fun day with the little people I acquired two new fishies! Quite pretty. One is a lovely white Fantail and the other is a blue Oranda. Now I have a red and white Fantail, a calico Ryukin, the two new fancy goldfish and three Comets – I need a Common Goldfish and a Shubukin to complete the PERFECT tank. I’d show pics of the new babies but I don’t have any (yet).


Happy Fish Family


Here is the white and the blue - the blue looks really dark but he's really kind of slilverish blue.


OK Everybody Smile for the camera!!!


What Do You Do For Hung Over Fish? Alka Seltzer In The Tank!

Just kidding. I also got some stuff to take care of the algae issue. It looks like an 'Alka Seltzer
tablet – plop plop, fizz, fizz… It worked though, the tank is nice and clear now. Happy fish.

Something Silly!


Lion King!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

hehehe... it is one of my favorite movies....

What A Surprise!!

Well my gay hubby came through - he sent me flowers for my birthday - purple flowers!




I was completly caught off guard.

My sister came over today also with a birthday offering - new shirt, pretty necklace and hair thingies. :o) Also quite unexpected.

Good birthday so far.

Other Stuff

I'm working like crazy to finish this cute baby dress in time for A's baby shower this coming Sunday. Why am I working so hard? Well I had finished the dress a few days ago - at least I thought I had finished. When I went to piece it together I realized that the front was much smaller than the back panel and the sleeves were WAY to small. Damn! What happened? I had finished the back section a while ago. The little people swiped my crochet hook and cast it off into the netherworlds never to be found again. I switched to a hook I thought was pretty damn close to the size of the other one. I was WRONG. The front is really small. Aaarrrggghhhh! Odd thing happened. After I look at everything and start panicing the hook I was using to finish disapears... off to the netherwords again! I'm pissed now. I tell hubby the issue, he listens sympathetically (at least it seemed like he was sympathetic...) as I search the couch and underneath for the missing hook. No damn hook! I'm ready to scream. I look by the computer desk and I see a gold colored hook. Well fuck! THATS the hook I started the damn dress with! I ask hubby where he found it, he confirmed my suspicions - he found it in his room (the netherworlds)! Thoes little monsters I gave birth to had stashed it in their daddy's stuff in hopes that I would never find it and would thus go insane from frustration - but their naughty plot was foiled by their daddy cleaning the netherworlds (he must have run out of underware).

So I have to be brief with my computer time for now, I must finish this dress.

Desperate Measures To Attract Pussy

Sheesh! My sister. She doused her pant leg in cat nip just to get my cat to pay attention to her. Some people! (OK, not completly true. She had catnip spilled on her and my cat - who adores her and is always on her lap within seconds of her being in my house - was going crazy for her pant leg.)

OK, enough about me (yeah I bet you never thought you'd never read that!) - I have to get back to my crochet!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Today's edition of Karmically Challenged Life will be all about ME! (as if that is different from any other day)

Today is my birthday and I am feeling a little self centered, if you stop by today you have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY - leave a comment or say it on the tag board - tell me how great I am (scarcasm) and how much you LOVE me (more sarcasm) or just say Happy day to me (not sarcasm).

Must go to bed now... Lots to write about tomorrow... not sure if I'll remember a damn bit of it or not, but I need sleep now.