Super Villains Rock!

I wanna be a Super Villain. I don't want to be a Super Hero. Super Villains get cool, swank villain hide outs. They have servants and loyal (fearful) henchmen. They are never, ever put in moral dilemmas of having to choose between their great evil goal and anything else. Their relatives/loved ones are not weaknesses or liabilities - they manipulate them and bend them to their will. Super Villains also get to dress cool and they always seem to have plenty of money to finance their nefariously EVIL plans. And I bet even if they do fall behind on their bills they don't get called by creditors - who the hell would call a Super Villain on a past due bill... "Hello, Mr. I. M. Evil is it? Um yeah, I'm with Nuclear Collections and it seems that you are WAY past due on your payments for that plutonium. With late fees and past due charges looks like you owe $10,000,000,000,000,000 right now. We need to see what can be done to bring this account current, we can handle this over the phone to speed things up as we do take credit cards, otherwise I'm going to have to report you to and you do know that this will go on your credit report right?" Yeah... Sure.

Super Villains also have cool alter egos. They never have lame jobs, it's always something super cool like the president of a mega corporation or they've taken the place of the acting president of a small but wealthy country. It's never delivering working at a news paper or bagging groceries.



My favorite Super Villain - Ras Al Gul. He is one of Bat Man's villains. He's super evil, super smart and he has a Lazarus pit so he's not going to die (yes I know, geek stuff). Even when Bat Man defeats his evil plans, he never defeats Ras Al Gul. *Warning* *Warning* Comic book geek moment ahead!* Ras Al Gul has kicked most of the JLA's asses, he's done some serious ass kicking on the Legion and he still has time do some serious ass kicking in Bat Man on occasion. His daughter is in love with Bat Man but her fierce loyalty to her father always drags her into his plots and leaves her conflicted. Master manipulator. Gotta give the man his props.

Words For The Day

si·nus
Pronunciation: 'sI-n&s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin, from Latin, curve, fold, hollow
: CAVITY, HOLLOW: as a : a narrow elongated tract extending from a focus of suppuration and serving for the discharge of pus b (1) : a cavity in the substance of a bone of the skull that usually communicates with the nostrils and contains air (2) : a channel for venous blood (3) : a dilatation in a bodily canal or vessel c : a cleft or indentation between adjoining lobes (as of a leaf or corolla)

head·ache
Pronunciation: 'he-"dAk
Function: noun
1 : pain in the head
2 : a vexatious or baffling situation or problem

Definitions of Sinus Headache on the Web:

associated with inflammation of the sinus cavities, usually as result of an infection or allergic reaction; described as deep, dull ache, located around the nose, sometime extending to forehead and ears
www.headachecare.com/glossary.cfm

Sinus headaches are associated with a swelling of the membranes lining the sinuses (spaces adjacent to the nasal passages). Pain occurs in the affected region – the result of air, pus, and mucus being trapped within the obstructed sinuses. The discomfort often occurs under the eye and in the upper teeth (disguised as a headache or toothache). Sinus headaches tend to worsen as you bend forward or lie down. The key to relieving the symptoms is to reduce sinus swelling and inflammation and facilitate mucous drainage from the sinuses (description by AAO-HNS).
www.sinusdiseasemanagement.com/glossary.html

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Thursday's bloom

Rude Awakenings

Evil Elmo

This morning I was awakened by the loud blaring singing of a certain red furry monster. My wonderful dreams of snuggles with my sweetie were interrupted by Elmo's Word at full volume. Let me tell you, absolutely NOTHING will wake you like the sound of Elmo singing. And believe me it's NOT a pleasant. Elmo can ruin a wet dream. Waking to Elmo is worse than waking to a smelly dog sleeping in bed with you. Worse than waking to find that someone drank all the milk and you've just poured a big bowl of CoCo puffs. Worse than discovering that someone drank all your beer. Worse than spilling tomato sauce down a white silk blouse. Waking up to Elmo will definitely get you awake quick though.

Lysol

So ladies, have you ever considered douching with Lysol? No really, this is a serious question. Guys - would you go down on a chick who's been douching with Lysol? I mean it sure would take care of the smell, but fuck it's gotta taste awful!

Now I'm sure that you all are thinking "Why the fuck are you asking that???" Take a look at THIS AD - it's a vintage Lysol ad, and yes it's for real - here is another one.

Absolutely frightening.

Need a Laugh?

The Muppet Phenotypes

Personality Test

I just took this test. And this is what it said about me.

Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 48/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 80/100

You are an SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

So, what do you think?

Garden Treasure

Glorious Morning Glory

Wildlife By The Creek



I love the butterfly, the purple flowers - I have no idea what they are, but they are pretty.

The Dingos Ate My Baby!!!

Read It Here.

I guess dingos aren't considered a good family pet. Darn.

Decendents of Genghis Khan Get Free Meal!

Read this story, it's incredibly cool! I wish I lived in London!

Crazy Blogger

Blogger seems to be having some issues today. I've been having difficulty posting things or seeing things that I've posted. *sigh* Crazy thing. Can't really complain, it's free after all.

New Things In My Garden

Snail Tank

So my fish tank is currently a 'Snail Tank'. As in I didn't drain if after the horrible happenings of Ragnorok (yes I know that's just lazy) and now there are lots of snails in it. Yuck. It's been kind of cool watching as the snails developed - that's part of why it's still not drained, I was fascinated for a time by the growing eco-system in my tank - but now I'm tired of the snail tank. Supergirl is not though. We found a snail last week. This is the exchange we had:

Me: Put that snail down, it lives outside, you can't keep it.
Her: No, I'm going to keep it.
Me: Put it down. It will die if you take it inside.
Her: Nah-ah. I'll put it in the snail tank.
Me: It's a fish tank.
Her: It's a SNAIL tank.
Me: No, I'm going to clean it out so I can have fish again.
Her: NOOOOOOOO! I want snails!
Me: No. (swatting snail from her hand and into brush)
Her: Hey!
Me: I'm going to get rid of the snails - end of story.
Her: You lost my snail!....

I want fish again. Granted the sails have been exceedingly low maintenance as in I haven't had to do squat and they just seem to keep living. Still, they aren't very exciting, they don't do anything and they aren't very pretty. But low maintenance. It's tempting to just get some SeaMonkeys to fill the tank with. I think Supergirl and Cabbage Patch would like that. Although I have a huge ethical issue with SeaMonkeys as they are the LAMEST pet available. All kids get them with the mistaken belief that they will be everything the colorful packaging promises. Disappointment follows as you watch them develop and discover they do not sing, dance or perform as the pictures on the package promise. I think I'll wait until my kids discover SeaMonkeys on their own. When they ask, I'll buy them for them and let them experience the childhood rite of passage of SeaMonkey Disappointment.

I think I better go clean my tank now. Anybody want a snail? Home grown.

Long Long Day

I left the house at 11 am to drive to K for a quick lunch (it was not intended as a quick lunch but I realized when I printed out the directions to the funeral that it was going to take me 45 minutes longer than I anticipated) then headed out to parts West of here for the funeral. The town was a bit further than I thought it was.

The little people and I arrived about 10 minutes before the funeral was to start. Angie was in the foyer of the funeral home and she was delighted that we came. She hugged on the kids and kissed them both. Seating was at a premium. The service was very tasteful and very nice - especially considering it was a Southern funeral - I've been to PLENTY of Southern funerals (having a Southern family and all), and this was by far the most tasteful. After the preacher talked about some bible scriptures and talked a lot about rewards and crowns (gonna have to consult the Christian in the house on all that... I mean what kind of crown exactly? Big like Queen Liz wears at special events or just a tiara? (more sarcasm)) there was a video presentation to music. It was not quite far up enough for me and the little people to get a good view of it but we did see part of it. I think it spanned 4 or 5 songs - 2 of which were Elvis songs :o). Toward the end it showed photos of Angie and her dad and was set to Martina McBride's "In My Daughter's Eyes" (I might have the title a little wrong, but it's close). Everyone there knew that Angie was Daddy's little girl. I could hear sniffling through out the room. It was very touching and heartbreaking. Bob looked like such a happy man and I know he was Angie's hero. At the end the we did the "Shake hands with the family, express condolence" thing. Luckily for me I had the little people in hand and didn't really have to do that at all. Angie's family grabbed the little people and hugged and kissed them saving me from the awkward handshake and mutter of "I'm so sorry for your loss". I'm glad the little people were there, their hugs gave everyone on the first row big smiles.

To my utter surprise, amazement and relief, the little people behaved VERY well during the funeral. I probably used up all my Good Kid Karma for the rest of the month on this though.

Anyway, I'm glad I went, I think Angie and Martin both appreciated it. My thoughts are with Angie tonight.

The Fan, The Tub, The Floor

Today the maintenance man is coming to fix the fan, the tub and the floor. Theoretically. Yesterday the maintenance man told me that he would be over today to fix the above mentioned items. That still doesn't fill me with faith that these items WILL get fixed today. Ya see, last week an eerily similar scene played out. Thursday I ran into said maintenance man who assured me he would be by the next morning to fix things. I was busy Friday morning. I returned Friday afternoon to find that the fan, the tub and the floor were still in a state of disrepair. *sigh* I waited. I called on Wednesday to find out WHEN (if EVER) my items would be repaired. I'm seriously tired of NOT having a ceiling fan in my living room. The tub, well it's the tub upstairs and since I rarely venture upstairs - and have NEVER used the tub/shower upstairs, I generally don't notice the state it's in. I'm sure K would like it fixed though. The floor is the tiles in my bathroom. Part of them where 4 corners come together has come up off the floor and a certain little 2 year old who shall remain nameless (Cabbage Patch) took to picking at them. Not a huge problem, but it looks unpleasant.

I'm going to a funeral today so I'll be out of the house from 11 am (going to have lunch with K first) until 4 pm or later. It would be a delightful surprise to return home to a working ceiling fan, a not dripping tub and repaired bathroom floor. *sigh* but I'm dreaming I guess.

*Later*

Much to my surprise (sarcasm), when I and the family arrived home today near 6 pm the fan was not fixed. The tub was not fixed. And the floor was not fixed.

I take all the blame for this as I must have dreamed up the previous conversation (both of them!) that detailed when and how the above mentioned items would be fixed.

Petey called to day to jokingly offer to fix the fan while I was attending the funeral. I should have taken him up on it.

I want my fan fixed. I don't know who I'm going to have to kill or what ancient fan fixing gods I'm going to have to make an offering to, but I will get my damn fan fixed. Maybe a cute little voodoo doll of Juan the maintenance man would get his ass in gear.

Happy Cats




See the cats are happy too!




And photos of the other rarely photographed cat. See how happy they look? (the Tiny Terrorists were out for the evening)

More Cat Humiliation




Sunshine's hair cut from a while ago...






This morning when Supergirl had Sunshine wrapped up like a baby (mummy).

Shit That Pisses Me Off

New York child killer goes free. Fuck. This man killed his illegally adopted daughter and he only serves 17 years of his sentence???? Where is the justice in that??? Fucker should have gotten the death penalty.

And if that isn't enough read about Foster parents charged with abuse. They had 18 children in their home!!! I'm not fond of the Department of Human Services or their agency of Child Protective Services. Sadly another case of them not doing their job of PROTECTING children and placing them in safe homes. I hope these foster parents get prison time and get treated the way they treated the children.

Passing On
(just rambling tonight... sorry if this is just crap)

The Little People and I have a funeral to attend this Friday. I know, very depressing post. Angie is a dear, dear person. I've never met her father, but I've heard a great deal about him from her. I feel for her. I've lost my mother, I know how desperately difficult it is to let go of a parent - especially one you are very close to. Angie is so cute, she never refers to her father as 'father', she always says "my daddy". Her eyes light up when she talks about him and what a great guy he is. She's daddy's little girl. I was always a Mamma's Girl. It's hard to loose that person, to not be daddy's/mamma's little girl. Every time I've gotten an update about Angie's dad I've dissolved into tears. I wish I could take her pain for her.

I feel especially bad for her in that this is a time when she should be deliriously happy. She is getting married the end of July. My sister got married a week before our mother died. I remember how mom's impending death over shadowed her day, a day that should have been so happy for her. I hope that Angie's wedding being a little further from her father's passing will make it still a joyous occasion.

Anyway... I'm going to the funeral on Friday. The last funeral I was supposed to go to, I bailed on. I made an excuse about not being able to find child care - I made this after the fact so as to not have anyone offer a solution. I was a pussy. I still carry a great deal of guilt about it as the person who passed was a former co-worker. He was very fatherly and very sweet. I just didn't want to deal with it, he was the same age as my father. He has kids my age, grand kids my kids age. I'd like to say that I didn't want my final memories of him clouded by the memory of his sad funeral but that's just bull shit. Avoidance was easier. Deep down I'm a very emotional person. I sometimes just bubble over with emotions and I tend to be exceedingly sensitive. It's not exactly something I'm proud of or fond of - I really do try to hide it - the sensitive emotional side, I don't try to hide the bad temper I have, although I probably should. Anyway, this is why I avoided the funeral of my co-worker. I have this fear that I'll cry in front of everyone. I haven't cried at a funeral since my great grandmother's when I was a sophomore in high school. Seriously. I didn't cry at my mother's funeral. I wasn't raised to be like that. In these situations people fell into two categories - those who are to be silent and stoic and those who are to be brave and strong then fall into hysterics. I've always been in the first category - aside from my great grandmother's funeral (where I totally lost it and freaked everyone out by my hysterical crying). I don't cry in public. I've only cried in public once since that funeral - that was when my home was in a fire 6 and a half years ago - we lost almost everything. Thank G*d for friends, family and the kindness of strangers.

So anyway, I'm rambling... I dread the funeral because I empathic with Angie. I adore Angie and I wish I could take this pain from her. She's putting up such a brave front. I'd like to skip the funeral just because funerals are just morbid and depressing, I can't though. I'll go for Angie.

Gay Pride Shoes



Last night we purchased these shoes from Target for Cabbage Patch. She LOVES them. We have had many laughs calling them Gay Pride Shoes. Eh, why not, she's got a gay daddy.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

We got cabin fever! We got cabin fever! (sung as the muppets do in Muppet Treasure Island)

Fuck. It's been raining all day. I need out of the house. I need to wear the tiny terrorists out. Chaos and Destruction are fighting over... Well anything, any-damn-thing that one has and the other does not.

This morning I was taking out the trash and I found a particularly valuable item (yes I was dumpster diving) - a pink Barbie jeep. The little people already had one. As in one car for two children meaning when one was interested in playing with the car, the other would also be interested in the car and fighting would ensue. So I grab it, bring it as an offering to the Tiny Terrorists and everything seems rosey. They accept the offering and head upstairs to play for about an hour.

Fast forward many hours later... Barbie cars hold no interest at all for either. It's raining outside, whining inside and they are now in the midst of negotiations (read fighting) over a stupid baby doll and doll back pack. I have a headache (sinus headache) and I want out of the house!!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Calgon take me away! (or bring me a roll of duct tape and some valium or a roofy-colda.)

Cat Humiliation Photos






I was looking through photos today and found these. I had to share.

What's In A Name?

Go here to find out. (It's actually pretty cool.)

Bus Station Freaks

When I went to visit XXX (I've changed his nick-name from XXXX to XXX as Petey thinks Triple X is a much cooler moniker - He's right. Truth is, I had always intended to change the name but couldn't think of anything that fit him and wasn't identifying) I took the bus. I did this to be kind and compassionate to K as he wanted to be able to take the little people for a few outings whilst I was away. Also the cost of a bus ticket was the same as the cost of gas for the trip and the length of time it would take to ride the bus was not much longer than me driving there (or so it seemed).

I raced through work on Sunday so I could arrive back home at 11 am and make the drive to the bus station down town by noon. We got there; I bought the ticket and got in the rather long line. Now the secret to riding a bus and not ending up sitting next to the 'hasn't bathed recently, alcoholic homeless person who reeks of urine and quotes random bible verses at you then falls into a drunken stupor that somewhat resembles fitful sleep on your arm for the entire trip" is to find your freak first. Don't wait for all the freaks to be chosen as you WILL end up sitting next to aforementioned drunk smelly religious zealot. I chose a rather tame looking Hispanic guy with lots of tattoos. He was very nice, we chatted about his work and he showed me photos of his children and grand children. When it came time to board the 12:15 pm bus, the line was stopped a few people before me. Seems the bus was full and there were 7 of us who would not fit on the 12:15 pm. Fuck. The bitchy terminal worker told us to wait and a new bus would arrive shortly. I called Triple X and told him of the delay, he was amused as he didn't want me taking the bus in the first place - he worried about me being downtown with the pimps and ho's. I went back to my suitcase (second rule to taking a bus is to NEVER carry more luggage than you can store in the overhead compartment) and continued chatting with my chosen freak. Another freak had joined the conversation. She was a rough looking girl, very much a freak though. Shortly before 1 pm (the next bus was at 1:15pm) we were herded onto another bus - my chosen freak was sent to another bus and me and freak girl went to the same one. Damn. Freak girl sat across from me and we commenced chatting. She was a very nice person. 21, three kids, face piercings, freaky hair, acknowledged the fact that she had no business raising her three kids with her life style, had come to Dallas to meet a guy she met in a chat room (and had no clue what he even looked like!). She was a very very nice person and I enjoyed chatting with her - still a freak, she was just missing the tattoos to complete her somewhat scary look. In Austin she departed the bus for good. I was sad that I'd have no one to chat with the rest of the ride.

Left In Waco
At the Austin terminal an old lady got on the bus, I saw her depart the bus when we got there; she got back on and sat in the seat right in front of me. She started chatting with an old lady in the seat in front of her. This is what I heard:

Old Lady #1 (in seat ahead of me): Thank Gawd I got my plant back. My baby gave it to me.
OL#2: Mmmmhmmm..
OL#1: I was on a earlier bus and got left in Waco. I can not believe that driver lef me in Waco. He saw me get off th bus, now why did he leave me there? I had them call ahead and have him leave my plant in Austin. I can not believe he did that, he KNEW I was on that bus, now why did he leave me there? I was coming from my dawter, she's in the hospital and I gotta get to my other dawter, they just put her back in the hospital. Lawd I do not know why he lef me there.
OL#2: (mumbles something incoherent)...You look familiar, where you from?
OL#1: San Anton. You?
OL#2: Oh me too.
(OL #1 & #2 start talking about church activities, etc and I glaze over wishing they would fall asleep or something)
OL#1 & OL#2:(various snippets from the conversation I wasn't tracking too carefully) Oh yeah, th Holy Go was working that day, oh yeah the Holy Go was working.... Lawd have mercy. Thank Gawd.
OL#1 drones on for a few more minutes about her two 'dawters' Michele and Queen (yeah what the fuck possessed her to name one a normal name and give the other one a fucked up name???)
OL#2 (when OL#1 takes a breath finally): We just got a prayer request for (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name), do you know her?
OL#1: I am (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name)!
OL#2: Well I knew that I knew you! I'm (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name)!
OL#1: I knew you looked familiar!
(fill in appropriate repetitive conversation of how Gawd must have planned OL#1 to miss her bus so she would hook up with OL#2 and how bus driver left her in Waco and about sick 'dawters', etc - this must last for the next 30 - 45 minutes without deviating from the above mentioned subjects)

I was thankful that the two old ladies finally used up their reserves of energy or it was their nap time or something and they both went to sleep or fell into a coma or whatever, I didn't care as long as I didn't have to hear about the bus driver leaving her in Waco, Gawd's plan to have them hook up and Michele and Queen being sick.

Getting My Freak On
I arrived at my destination and immediately had strange men trying to pick me up. *eek!* I had a Fan-Fucking-Tastic visit with Triple X. (Insert appropriate details of wild and exciting time that my sweetie and I had… damn that was great). My only complaint was that it had to end. *sigh* (yeah I'm all sappy and smitten with this man - damn, someone smack me before I start spouting poetry and drawing hearts on all my papers).

Finding My Freak
The trip home was less entertaining. I arrived right on time and in line was a cute little Goth chick with nasty looking dyed black (and blue) dreads, a tattoo spanning from her wrist to her shoulder and her eyebrows were shaved and replaced by two thin black pencil marks that somewhat resembled Minnie Mouse eyebrows. She was very nice and cordial as we stood in line. I found my freak! Before boarding the bus to Dallas my luggage and purse were searched. I was instantly glad that I had dropped BOB in my overnight bag and not in my purse. The bus dude pawed through my purse asking what my Star Trek phaser key chain was. I was tempted to be a smart ass and say it was a weapon of mass destruction, my phaser. Luckily my sanity kicked back in as the image of me being held off the bus, my luggage being carefully searched and a nice chat with the local law enforcement flashed through my head and I said it was just a key chain. Goth Girl explained to me that they almost always search luggage/passengers on the trips heading North but not South as I had mentioned that I was not searched when I left Dallas. Apparently this is because of the proximity to Mexico and the 'man' wanting to keep the influx of "Party Favors" being brought from across the border to a minimum. Eh ok. I suppose I didn't look like a drug runner and my purse was somewhat boring as I wasn't subjected to the same thorough search as the three people who were ahead of me in line. I boarded my bus, Goth Girl and I exchanged a few words. As soon as the bus started everyone pretty much went to sleep - including me.

I arrived back in Dallas near 11:30 pm and took a walk around the bus station to look for K who was picking me up. In my walk around the block I was hit on my three desperate and scary men, preached at by one street preacher, had a religious pamphlet shoved at me and was asked for money by one person. K was not there. Grrr... He arrived about 10 minutes later and we headed home with one quick trip to Wataburger to procure me some foodstuff as I had neglected to eat before leaving XXX.

All in all it was a great trip, I miss XXX like crazy.

Odd Man Out

Well actually straight woman out. That's probably going to be me tonight. We are going to a meeting of GLB parents tonight. We as in me, K (gay husband) and the little people. I wonder if I'll end up being the only straight person there? It doesn't really bother me, just pondering it.

I'm excited about the meeting. I hope there are several people there and several children close to the little people's ages. I am really hoping this will turn into a group that we can be comfortable in and gain new friends - especially the little people. I know that in years to come the little people may have to take some flack for having a gay father. It's not fair, but the world is full of small minded, ignorant people who would rather be mean than stretch their understanding and be compassionate. Having friends with GLB parents will be helpful when any situations arise.

This is also a great opportunity for K. I don't think he knows many gay men who are parents. He can gain some insight into some of the unique challenges that gay couples face as parents (I am confident that some day he and Mr. B, his boyfriend, will end up married). Unfortunately due to the rampant ignorance and small mindedness there exists far too much prejudice and stigmas associated with GLB parents. *sigh*

How My Garden Grows





Yes I am very proud of my lame little garden. The last picture is of a cute little bitty green grass hopper that was resting on my flower. There were actually two grass hoppers on the plants yesterday when I took photos. They were both still there this morning so I knocked them off before they took my photo taking of them as an invite to treat my 'garden' as a buffet.

I need a garden gnome now.

Pimp Ride

Go look at this. It's quite funny. (work safe)

Prepare To Be Offended

Actually I found it very funny... Right Wing Eye. I wonder if the Fab 5 find this as humorious as I do?

Off to work early so I can head off for my little vacation of love. Two nights and two days with my sexy man. *sigh*

Mini Vacation

I'm taking one. Yeah. Going to visit XXXX - oh yeah.

This week is turning out to be fabulous. The Little People spent Wednesday with my Aunt, came home yesterday mid morning. This morning my sister took the Little People until Monday. I am going to visit XXXX Sunday afternoon until Tuesday evening. I will be kidless until Wednesday morning. Wow. This is going to be a nice break. I'm sure I'll come back refreshed and in a positive mind frame.

I love the whole mom thing. I need a break from time to time though.

Ahhh time alone. Bubble baths, manicure, pedicure, reading a book, watching a grown up movie, talking over dinner...

I know I'll be missing the Little People by Tuesday, but I'm going to enjoy my time off as much as I can.

Right now I'm going to go do one of my yoga tapes without being interrupted to play referee to a fight, dress a Barbie or have the little people crawl on me or over me while trying to hold a pose.

My Garden

The Word of the Day for June 18 is:

regale • \rih-GAIL\ Audio icon • verb
transitive senses
1 : to entertain sumptuously : feast with delicacies
*2 : to give pleasure or amusement to
intransitive sense
: to feast oneself : feed

I know everyone is disapointed that I've been far to busy 'running through fields of flowers' to regale everyone with tales of my exciting life. heh.

Running Through Fields Of Flowers

That's what I've been doing since the Little People are with my Aunt who graciously offered to take both of them for a visit. Ahhh running through fields of flowers.

Thing that really sucks is that I woke just before 6 am this morning and could not go back to sleep. I COULD still be sleeping but NOOOOOOOOOO, I'm awake. Damn.

I'm ready for the Little People to be back now. Just waiting for my Aunt to call and let me know when she'll be bringing them home.

Until then... I'll continue Running Trough Fields Of Flowers.

(*Running Trough Fields Of Flowers = Doing massive quantities of laundry and sorting through old clothes and listening to music loudly)

Early Senility

I fucking hate it when I come to the computer to look something up and by the time I get to the computer I can't remember what the hell I wanted/needed to know.

Sheesh. I'm too easily distracted... Ohhh! Shiny!

Just A Flat

I am back on line! And the whole modem problem was stupid. Just an unplugged cable. Doh!

End Of The Road

I've hit a dead end on the Information Super Highway. (eyes rolling up in head) My freaking modem is dead. I'll only be on sporadically as my only other access to the internet is in K's room on his slow ass computer using the dial up - meaning a slow slow connection that's tieing up my phone line. *sigh* I'll live. I guess. Sucks though. I'm such an internet addict. I never watch television though, this is my entertainment. God, I'm going to be in Disney Hell today... I won't have anything to distract me from the endless onslaught of Disney videos the little people watch. Ugh. Someone shoot me.

Moronic Musings

K works with idiots. Truly. Every week he never fails to astound me with some tale proving beyond a doubt how idiot they are.

Today, he showed his supervisor the picture of Angry Albino Sock Monkey! She said "Oh she could make money off those. Make them with happy faces." Huh? Happy faces for the ANGRY Albino Sock Monkey? She just doesn't fucking get it.

The Word of the Day for Jun 14 is:
emblazon \im-BLAY-zun\ verb

*1 a : to inscribe or adorn with or as if with heraldic bearings or devices b : to inscribe (as heraldic bearings) on a surface
2 : celebrate, extol

The company I used to work for was quite proud of their logo, it was emblazoned on everything from stationary, to shirts and even boxes!

Little Changes

I made a few changes to the template, mostly just some pictures on the side and changes to the Cool Reading list - I deleted the blogs who have become boring and added some new ones. I made the photos smaller on the side - I figured people would appreciate that - I have enough pictures of me on the side to prove to people how incredibly VAIN I truly am, no need to force ya'll to look at them quite so large. I also added a few others, most importantly AASM at the top - he's far to cool to have his picture off in archives and some art work of mine (because I'm proud of it).

Weekend was boring. Makes me yawn just thinking about it. I worked. I came home. I went to work. I came home. Woohoo.

This made me giggle, Super Girl loves AASM, her and Cabbage Patch have been playing with him all morning, wrapping him up like a baby. HAHAHAHA! I'd hate to have that handed to me after giving birth!

Oh Pete - You will get an AASM. I have a very demented idea for a special one for you. (Hope your wife doesn't want to shoot me after you get it.) I'll let you know when to start watching the mail for him. I wish I had the EVIL Teddy Ruxpin to sit next to my Freddy Kruger doll.

Better Than A Voodoo Doll!
(well almost)

Tonight when K returns from his boyfriend he will be greeted with...


Angry Albino Sock Monkey!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Update!! 6/12/04 - 9 pm
Angry Albino Sock Monkey Has got to be the best prank I have pulled on K! He arrived home exceeding late last night (this morning really) so I was pissed with him. I could not sleep until I knew he saw Angry Albino Sock Monkey! I was seriously tempted to follow him up the stairs with the camera to capture the 'special moment' of discovery, but I'm glad I didn't. I heard nothing from him after he went upstairs to bed so I erroneously thought he had not turned on the overhead light in his room and therefore had not seen the Angry Albino Sock Monkey hanging from the ceiling fan chain. Today I called from work while on a break and asked if he made a discovery. He said that Angry Albino Sock Monkey was horribly disturbing. He saw the monkey hanging from the chain and when he turned it around to see it's face he was completely creeped out. I started laughing hysterically (while in the waiting area of work... People were giving me odd looks). He said that if I had been behind him waiting with a camera to capture the 'special moment' he might have just had to push me down the stairs! HAHAHAHAHA! He was thankful I did not put a fake knife in Angry Albino Sock Monkey's hand as I had considered, he didn't think he would have been able to sleep at all if that had happened. K has asked that I never make another Angry Albino Sock Monkey! But fuck him! This is far to much fun. I sent a picture of Angry Albino Sock Monkey! to XXXX I'm waiting to hear what he thinks (no I didn't make one for him). I've laughed about all this all freaking day long.

Anyone want an Angry Albino Sock Monkey? Makes a great gift! Isn't Father's Day coming up? What better way to let Dad know what you think of him than with an Albino Sock Monkey! e-mail me.

Yet Another One Down

I have eradicated yet ANOTHER vile eight legged beast.

(if I'm carried off in the night by a hoard of disgusting spiders, you'll know why.)

Margaritas & Ice Cream

Are a bad combo. Take my word on this. Ewww... Luckily I'm not really really drunk, but I am infact drunk. I wouldn't trust me to drive anyone - note even drive anyone to drink!

The Ice Cream with extra chocolate sauce seemed like a really good idea after the first margarita and when Ordered the second. Now back home after two gargantuan margaritas I'm not so sure. No I don't feel sick, just a pain in my stomache, but I'm sure you don't really care about that so enough of my bitching and moaning.

Went out to dinner and drinks with K. It seemed like a good idea. Drinking sweet icy drinks when disapointed, upset or sad seems like a natural thing to do. I'm fine really, I just wanted some drinks.

We went to a local place. Seemed to be a biker bar. HAH! A biker bar amidst the prim and proper homeowners association members of the ranch. It was a very very tame Centrum Silver group of bikers though. Some hot men were present but the vast majority of leather wearing, Harley driving men were over 50. Very disapointing. Not that I actually go for that kind of man - the biker sort - but a hot man in a tight black t-shirt and jeans is always nice to look at. The 50-something, not hot, in black t-shirt and jeans, grandpa-man is just not.

This place was EXPENSIVE also. So two drinks was about all I could AFFORD! Yikes.

Now I'm a little drunk, sitting her in my bra and panties (new set - I just bought them, buying undies makes me feel better - even if said set of undies looks much less hot on me than it did on the hanger at the store) writing in my blog. Probably not a good idea. I suppose it's better than some things though.

Eh, that's all I can think to say. I think I'll go comment on ramdom blogs since I'm drunk.

And So It Has Begun

The spiders have heard my decree and have taken it as a challenge. Just moments ago a pernicious little web weaver dropped down in an ill thought out attempt to ensnare my offspring. The Little People's cries of distress were heard by me and in a swift move to save my offspring from peril, I smashed the little blighter. Score one for Judy, zero for the malevolent eight legged beasties.

All right spiders, I accept your challenge. Bring it on. I have a full can of Aqua Net and a large shoe.

Dishing

Since I spent a large amount of time at the orthodontist office yesterday I had the rare opportunity to read magazines I don't normally read - and old ones at that! (translation: Out of sheer boredom I was forced to read old bad magazines to keep my head from exploding)

One such magazine was discussing "The Swan". This is a show I've only heard of and never watched. The first time I heard of it, I thought it was a joke. A reality show based on all the contestants getting serious amounts of cosmetic surgery and who ever turned out 'best' is the winner. Ridiculous calling these shows 'reality'. Anyway the article showed all the contestants and different 'professionals' critiqued the show and the contestants. It was kind of amusing and spiteful at the same time. The plastic surgeon was complaining that the contestants who got boob jobs got implants that were too large. The dentists were saying that everyone's teeth were over bleach leaving them too white and giving them a 'Minnie Mouse' smile. heh... Very funny. I can even hear the Mouse's giggle. The one thing that seemed especially nasty was the hair dresser. He complained that they had the Stepford Wife thing going with everyone having the same hair style and that everyone's hair was too long. That men don't like really long hair. WHAT? I had to look at the picture of the contestants again. No one had a bad hair style. No one had hair that was even as long as mine. Most had hair that was a few inches past their shoulders. And WTF? I've never known a man who didn't like long hair - I'm sure there are men who prefer women with short hair, but I've never met them. And I've NEVER had a man tell me my hair was too long - ever. Most of the time when I mention getting my hair cut, I get panicked looks from men and admonishments to not cut it too much. Anyway, sounds like a snarky comment from a pissy queen who was jealous he wasn't chosen to be the hair fairy for the show. Hair Fairies can be so bitchy.

Speaking of hair... My timer just went off, time to go rinse - I'm a 'Natural' redhead again.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Tonight a little bitty spider invaded my computer space. That is not acceptable. I don't like spiders. I fear them (long standing psychological trauma). Even little ones. Though lately I've tried to have a kinder gentler view of the 8 legged ones. I had two people admonish me for killing spiders. Both telling me how killing a spider in the house was bad luck and how spiders kill so many insects and how they are good for the environment, yadda, yadda, yadda. So? So I tried to be non lethal to spiders. Tonight the little bitty nefarious looking black spider was above my computer. I TRIED to ignore it. I did. I have managed to ignore a spider that has been building a web outside my door for the past week - I don't kill bugs that are kind and respectful enough to not invade my residence. (K has a no kill policy on most bugs and will catch and release - I say kill those who have broken my law of no pay, no living in my house, take no chances on them coming back.) I could not ignore the evil little spider - the thought of it hiding in my papers just waiting for me made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. It had to die. I smacked at it. It ran. I smacked. It ran. I yelped. It ran and dropped a line to escape. The line brought the little bastard nearly into my glass. I screamed for spider death. I tried to move my glass. It jumped on my glass and ALMOST TOUCHED ME!!! All bets were off. Kinder and gentler was out the fucking window. I wanted death... And to be far away from creepy spider. K came out of the kitchen and rescued the afore mentioned spider. RESCUED the SPIDER. Bastard. I wanted it dead. It terrorized me. Much like the Spider in Miss Muffet - I would have run away also, but not before trying to beat the spider to death with anything around. K released the spider into the wilds... My plants. Damn it. Now the spider has time to plan and re-enter my home to terrorize me! Damn little eight legged terrorists!

Now to all who tell me it's BAD luck to kill a spider inside. FUCK YOU. I don't need spiders in my house to 'kill bugs' the exterminator comes out 3 times a year for that. I don't need webs hanging from all the corners and creepy eight legged critters hanging out waiting for a bite to eat. Ewwww... And I certainly do not need to be panicked at my computer while surfing for porn. ;o)

Listen up spiders, if you are IN my home, I will spray you with anything handy until you die. I will sick my cat on you. I will smack you with a large shoe (I've already taught the little people to do that). Your horrible mangled body will be flushed down a toilet. I will kill you. Do not enter my home. You will die. Spiders, Don't Fuck With Me.

I hate spiders.

Minus The Braces


Me braceless
Me

I thought I would include a picture of me since I've recently lost 10 lbs also. :o) I'm a happy camper!

My How Times Have Changed

"I'd like it made as gay as possible."

Made me giggle. It's a line out of a Shirley Temple movie... Back when GAY was HAPPY. (although most GAY's I know - and I do know several being married to one - are pretty happy).

The Word of the Day for Jun 09 is:

propinquity \pruh-PING-kwuh-tee\ noun

1 : nearness of blood : kinship
*2 : nearness in place or time : proximity

With the rain slowing traffic, I was thankful for the orthodontist office's propinquity to me, as I would not want to be late to get my braces removed.

Freedom!!

I get my braces off today! I'm so excited! And nervous. Not sure why I'm nervous, but I am. More excited thought - after 4 years they are finally coming off!!!

More Junk

To take up space until I have time to sit and write an actual post.

Stolen from Jewdez blog.

1. Money is no object...Pick a car. Fully loaded PT cruiser with custom paint job (either cow spots full with horns on the hood or metallic black with flames).

2. You are stranded on a deserted island, pick only one book to bring. Sandman: The Dolls House. I love that one... Actually any of them.

3. You can no longer live in the United States, pick a South American country to move to and why. Oh fuck, you asked that just to show everyone my complete lack of knowledge in geography... I'll get back to you on that one.

4. Pick the one state you'd love to live in besides the one you live in now, and why. Oregon, it's supposed to be beautiful and much less polluted than here and it has 4 seasons!!!! I could even excuse the fact that it snows there just to enjoy the turning of the leaves.

5. Ladies, pick the one (living) actor you'd love to have dinner with. And men, pick the one (living) actress, you'd love to shag take to dinner. Only one??? That's not fair! Johny Depp or Sting (yeah I know it said only one). They both seem intelligent and are dangerously sexy. *sigh* I'd be serving desert in bed of course.

6. Pick a language you'd like to learn or learn more of. Spanish.

7. Pick an instrument you'd like to learn to play. bongos - who else would know how to play them?

The Box

side
Top
The Lovely long awaited photos of the box. This is just the top, the inside and one of the sides. I haven't taken pictures of the other side, the inside of the top or the front of the box. Lazy me.

Porn To Save The Earth!

Just read it... Porn For The Environment

Now that's a great idea.

I'm Just Trying To Be A Genius!

Sex makes you clever

The Word of the Day for Jun 07 is:

echelon \ESH-uh-lon\ noun

1 : a steplike arrangement
*2 a : one of a series of levels or grades in an organization or field of activity b : the individuals at such a level

In the last corporate job I worked, as my boss moved to the upper echelon of management he made several avoidable mistakes (i.e. screwing over people) that ultimately cost him his comfortable position and earned him the opportunity to be laid off just like the rest of us. Ain't karma a bitch?

My lovely art work!

Here is a picture of the card I enclosed with the gift.

I'm very proud of it.

Things Said Tonight That Probably Should Not Have Been...

The nipple is on the loose!!! Help the nipple!! It needs mouth-to-mouth!

Yeah, well you don't know how I like to play.

Aww damn! Now I'm going to have to take care of the check! And I didn't even bring my knee pads.

Wooah... I'm not responsible for what I'm saying, he is - he's the one that he'd drive.

Three out of four of us at this table prefer Patrick to Jenn so fuck you.

Well that's because I am funny... And drunk.

Wow. 5 Martinis (dirty - extra dirty) sure do liven up a couples bridal shower.

Come On Baby, Give Me That Sexy Pout

Give Me Pouty Baby!
Kids are funny. Super Girl is funny. Some day she will hate that I have a blog and tell stories featuring her antics.

Lately I've been working on many art projects (pictures to come soon, I promise). I have a battered and beaten - falling apart really - brief case (that locks) that holds all my Prisma colors, water color markers, oil color pastels and other various art items. I generally leave this locked but as of late it has been unlocked due to continued work on several projects. Yesterday after a quick trip to my bedroom I looked at Super Girl sitting on the sofa looking guilty about something and discovered that her lips were bright fire engine red. For a moment I was confused as I KNOW I don't own any lipstick of that color, then I spied one of my water color markers next to her with the lid off. heh. Like a good parent I stifled my urge to laugh hard and admonished her for getting into my art supplies. The funnies part is that somehow without a mirror she had managed to perfectly color in her little mouth, not a mark outside her lips at all. Many women would kill for that talent. ;o)

Word Challenge
The Word of the Day for Jun 04 is:
braggadocio \brag-uh-DOH-see-oh\ noun

*1 : a loud arrogant boaster
2 a : empty boasting b : arrogant pretension : cockiness


Example sentence:
In the novel, the murderer was a braggadocio, smugly sure of his own brilliance, but he ultimately gave himself away by confessing his crime within earshot of the police inspector.

My former stepfather was such a braggadocio about his gaming and other supposed acomplishments that I often had the urge to vomit whenever he opened his mouth to speak.

(how about that one K?)

10 Years

Oddly enough today is my 10 year anniversary. 10 years is a long time. K and I have been together as a couple for nearly 13 years (we dated for almost 9 months before we got engaged, 2 years of engagement and now 10 years of marriage) we've known each other for almost 18 years.

Year 10 is the Tin/Aluminum (traditional) or Diamond (modern). Tin or aluminum? What is this the recycling anniversary?

We considered celebrating tonight but scratched the idea as our respective boyfriends are busy. *sigh* (heh, and you think I'm joking)

10 years of being married to a gay man have not been bad really. He's a wonderful man, very smart, funny, patient and fun to be with. He's also a wonderful father and friend. B is lucky to have such a nice man as a boyfriend (I've trained K well - still more training needed, that is B's job now though).

I was a little hesitant about even mentioning our anniversary this year. It's been about three years since we decided to stop pretending to be a straight couple with a straight marriage. It's also been about three years since we resented each other, lied to each other or hurt each other deeply with our words or actions (inactions also). When we decided to be honest about ourselves and each other our relationship improved more than it ever had in the 4 years of on and off marriage counseling. I no longer felt the compulsion to be angry and disappointed with him and he no longer felt guilty and ashamed of himself. We have learned a lot in the past three years. We've been through a lot in the past 13 years together. Some good, some bad, all of it interesting. He's always been there for me, my best friend and confidant. We have always made better friends than lovers (not that the sex was bad, just not fabulous - no slight against him, he did a damn fine job considering he's gay).

To my husband;

The past 10 years have been an adventure to say the least, I'm glad you were by my side through all of it, the good and the bad.

We've laughed together, cried together and shared joys and fears. The birth of two beautiful daughters and the struggles of parenthood have added plenty of laughter, tears, joy and fears that I'm thankful to share with you. We make a great team.

One day I know we will part ways as husband and wife as you go on to be a husband to someone else and I a wife to another man. I hope to be there next to you as you take that next step in your life and I promise to always stand by you no matter what.

Dear husband of mine, thank you for 10 years.

Much love my dear friend,

Judy

I Steal To Make Myself Popular

Stolen from Jewdez (because she's Judy also... that and I'm to lame to post original content)

Answer the following questions in my comments so everyone can see:

1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

Comments kids, comments - that means not on the Tag Board. Just click it below, it won't hurt, I promise (and if it does, either myself or K will kiss it for you).

Enlightenment
The Word of the Day for Jun 03 is:

defalcation \dee-fal-KAY-shun\ noun

*1 : the act or an instance of embezzling
2 : a failure to meet a promise or an expectation


Example sentence:
"'She made off with the money, an act of defalcation that disqualifies her from receiving a bankruptcy discharge,' the judge ruled." (Orlando Sentinel, March 21, 2004)

Very odd for this to be the word of the day as my sister and I were in a conversation this morning discussing how our former step-father's idiotic act of defalcation not only lead to his brief incarceration but contributed to our family being in much unnecessary hardship and financial ruin. Over the years, his continued defalcation was a constant source sadness and despair for everyone.

(See K, I used it in two sentences and used it with BOTH meanings!)

Titty Baby

I'll admit it, I am one. It doesn't take much to get my nose out of joint. It's a quality I hate about myself, but I have no idea how to NOT be a titty-baby. It can be something as small as not having time to talk to me or not liking something I say/do/made. Then I sulk. I pout. I make sure people KNOW that I'm feeling slighted - never say it, but I sure act like a petulant brat. (sheesh and I always wonder where Cabbage Patch gets it from) I have no idea how ANYONE can stand to be around me at times.

Something Else Stupid

This just had me laughing hard.

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK] You are a FURRY! You are a sick, sick, individual. Stop lusting over animals! Take off that fursuit and quit yiffing. No-one likes furry art! STOP NOW! More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Good Bye To All The Fishes

Damn it. I miss watching my fish. I'm so used to watching them from the computer that I keep looking at the empty tank. It's disappointing and kind of sad. I miss how they all would come to the side of the tank when I walked up to it. I miss Thor tapping the glass with the rocks. I miss Valkyrie swimming into the wall of bubbles. I miss Nott always hanging out in the corners so I had to look for her. And Mamma Bear, just a plain old Goldfish. I miss Loki... No I don't. He was a murderous, Evil little bastard fish. I just didn't have the heart to flush him. Fucking fish. He probably caused the mass suicide.

Yeah I know, I'm being stupid and crazy. I probably should not have watched Finding Nemo tonight.

I'll probably wait a couple off weeks (and clean the tank really well) before restocking the Tank Of Doom (that's what I call the tank now). I miss my fish.

What Ever Happened To?

One more pointless post to fill up some cyberspace...

Rainy nights call for smooth listening. I'm listening to Easy Jazz. Darryl Hall "What's In Your World?" (I like it). Darryl Hall of Hall & Oats - can you believe that? He's still making music! I thought for sure he was on to the land of the has-been, and maybe Easy Jazz really is the land of the has-been. Anyway, struck me as odd to be listening to anything by Hall of Hall & Oats. Must be the rain... Or the wine... Eh, who knows.

divine Sighting

Yesterday on my drive back home from Scarby, a shiny, new, pearl colored, Cadillac Escalade with all the trim pulled in front of me. A comical thought ran through my head - I thought "Hmmmm... I wonder if that's one of JC's posse. Who could be driving that? John? Peter? Paul? Mary? Ringo?"

It made me laugh, that's all that matters. How odd that a poor Jewish girl is the one to see all this. (could be that I'm crazy)

Rainy Night

Today has just slipped by. I was going to write about our (me and the little people) activities, but for some reason that just seems boring and pathetic right now.

It's raining here. Thunder storm. Not really much rain now, just a lot of noise. I'm happy that we are getting some rain and I don't mind the noise tonight. Thunder storms usually make me nervous and anxious, tonight it's kind of relaxing. K is out with his boyfriend and the little people are upstairs (supposedly) asleep. Just me and a glass of wine. Too bad XXXX isn't here.

Something Else Stupid To Fill Space

Karmically Challenged Life is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.

N POISON

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Something Silly

J	Joyous
U	Unforgettable
D	Desperate
Y	Yum

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

OR

J	Joyful
U	Unreal
D	Dysfunctional
I	Irresistible
T	Tasty
H	Haunting

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Ragnarock
Or
I See Dead Fish.

This weekend has turned out to be a complete waste of planning on my part. Friday I see that my second favorite fish has up and died. Damn it. Valkyrie. My prettiest fish.

Saturday, despite all my careful planning, turned out to suck completely. I did however get a lot of things done around the house and was hopeful that my Sunday plans would somehow come to fruition.

Sunday, short day at work, things looking good. Got home and things started not going as planned. I took some time to clean out my fish tank. Then realized that my carefully planned and hoped for plans were a total bust as a call from someone's work rendered all previous plans null and void. *sigh*

Went to pick up kids, got McD's for dinner and came home to a tank full of dead fish. Yeah, very pleasant. Now ALL of my fish are dead.

Sheesh. I'm glad the weekend is over. (I did just now feed the cats just to make sure they were still with me)

Here's my theory on what happened in Asgard...

The fish were part of some religious suicide plot, Valkyrie was the first of the fish to go. She shown the way for the other fish on their spiritual journey. Today when I was away they carried out their sad plans and everyone committed suicide at the same time thinking that the 'Mother Ship' was here.
OR
The EVIL cats killed the fish out of spite and malice (they are cats after all).
OR
I shocked the fish when I replaced the water and everyone died. Fucking fish. I blame them for not being more hardy! (kidding)

*sigh* Feel free to believe whatever you prefer, I'm going with the suicide plot though.

I think I'll start over with the tank. I'm not sure. This is very depressing to have all the fish die at once. K has suggested I no longer name my fish after Norse gods though, they all seem to have tragic ends. Eh, maybe he's right, maybe I'll start naming them after conquerors - Atilla, Ghengis, etc. Maybe.

A memorial service will be held soon.