More Letters In My Head
Dear Sir In The White Van;
Thank you for making my driving experience eventful this afternoon. It's not often that some enormous prick fails to yield while entering the highway nearly plowing into my little white car causing me to slam on my breaks. To top it all off you lovingly told me I was number one when I alerted you to your asshole status in this world by honking my horn.
It really is a pity that although you did exit at the same exit I did, you did turn the opposite direction. I was having nearly orgasmic fantasies involving you and me - yes you and me. I would have loved to tell you exactly how much of an inconsiderate fuck-head you were and how I was surprised the DMV would give licenses to such brainless monkeys. But alas my pleasure was never to be discovered as you made a U-turn and I had to fill up. Fucker.
In closing I'd like to say, have a nice day and please try to pull your head out of your ass before you drive next.
Sincerely,
The Bitch You Almost Hit
Dear Friends and Family Who Claim To Love Me;
Why do you secretly hate me? Really, why? Is it my outspoken nature? Is it that you think I don't have any hobbies or interests to occupy my time? Is it because I'm beautiful? Do you hate me because I'm beautiful? (heh, kidding) Or is it my big butt? Whatever it is, please find other ways to torture me other than buying my children shit-loads of toys for me to continually clean up. I spent 2 hours cleaning the toy area today. Two fucking hours! Picking up tiny doll dresses and doll furniture, sorting blocks and stuffing play clothes into bins. I took a large box and a half full garbage bag of crap to the dumpster. Toys with missing pieces, things I just could not bear to pick up even one more time, broken crayons, things I couldn't identify other than it being a toy.... you name it. Please find other ways to lavish your attention and love on my progeny. Books are good, clothes work, art supplies are wonderful, money is great, stocks and bonds work also. No more dolls with a collection of tiny little pieces and accessories to loose, no more stuffed animals, no more plastic crap to break, no more fucking McCrappy Meal toys!!! Honestly, the Little People have toys, plenty of toys, enough toys to take care of all the children in a small third world country I believe. If you really do love me, you will restrain yourself. If you really do hate me please find other ways to torture me/kill me. Poison, Voodoo dolls, steak through the heart, silver bullets, a cross, garlic... no wait... I love garlic... I digress.
Much warmth,
Judy
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Virtual Vacation
No, no I'm not planning another fictitious vacation with imaginary people to far off destinations again. It's the Little People. Being little has some serious advantages. Cartoons are more than just escapism; they are an extension of reality. To them things that exist in cartoons most certainly exist in real life, people in cartoons are real Technicolor friends and fantasy fun lands that only exist on the television are most certainly places to plan a vacation to.
I've gotten used to the sudden begging that happens anytime the Little People see a Disney Land commercial. Advertisements for 6 Flags Over Texas cause a similar reaction and actually driving past the 'magical wonderland' of 6 Flags can spark begging, crying, arguing and threats. It's a joy. Often times the Little People will see a cartoon destination and with wide eyed amazement they will turn to me pleading "Can we go there?" Usually a circular conversation then takes place about how it's not a real place (but I just saw it), it's a made up place on the cartoons (Chuckie just went there) and not everything in a cartoon is real (???!!!). These requests and subsequent conversations either amuse the hell out of me or rub that very last Mom Nerve raw. Our most recent virtual fun land is EuroReptarLand from Rugrats In Paris. I get a giggle every time they see Reptar Land and turn to me with the sweetest look and sat 'Pleeeeease! Pleeeeease! Can we go? Pleeeeeease!' heh.
Well I best go, have to start planning out trip to Reptar Land
No, no I'm not planning another fictitious vacation with imaginary people to far off destinations again. It's the Little People. Being little has some serious advantages. Cartoons are more than just escapism; they are an extension of reality. To them things that exist in cartoons most certainly exist in real life, people in cartoons are real Technicolor friends and fantasy fun lands that only exist on the television are most certainly places to plan a vacation to.
I've gotten used to the sudden begging that happens anytime the Little People see a Disney Land commercial. Advertisements for 6 Flags Over Texas cause a similar reaction and actually driving past the 'magical wonderland' of 6 Flags can spark begging, crying, arguing and threats. It's a joy. Often times the Little People will see a cartoon destination and with wide eyed amazement they will turn to me pleading "Can we go there?" Usually a circular conversation then takes place about how it's not a real place (but I just saw it), it's a made up place on the cartoons (Chuckie just went there) and not everything in a cartoon is real (???!!!). These requests and subsequent conversations either amuse the hell out of me or rub that very last Mom Nerve raw. Our most recent virtual fun land is EuroReptarLand from Rugrats In Paris. I get a giggle every time they see Reptar Land and turn to me with the sweetest look and sat 'Pleeeeease! Pleeeeease! Can we go? Pleeeeeease!' heh.
Well I best go, have to start planning out trip to Reptar Land
Monday, August 23, 2004
What A Day For A Day Dream
Today has not been a good day. There have been GOOD parts, but as a whole it's not been good. Nothing BAD has happened really unless you count me NOT finding my license, me NOT being as compassionate and sympathetic as I should have, me BEING selfish and childish and me ending up feeling like a primo ass on top of me already feeling kind of isolated and lonely. *sigh* At least my pets still like me and the Little People are still talking to me and K hasn't tried to kill me recently. Enough of all that, I don't want to talk about it really - I've already done far too much internal dialogue today. On to other things.
Baubles
I was flipping through the only parenting magazine I get, Child - which to be honest I don't like parenting magazines as a whole, the only reason I get Child is because it is a gift subscription, but I dislike most of the articles and absolutely hate a lot of the advertising. I keep it in the bathroom for reading materials. Today I flipped to the back of the magazine and saw a photo charm bracelet that was to DIE for. It's made by Brag, Inc. and it says you can mail or e-mail your photo and they will make a charm with your photo. I went to the website and almost choked on the price of the bracelets, so I looked at the price of just the charm. I had to just stop looking at that point. Sticker shock would be a horrible thing to have the coroner put on the death certificate as the reason for my demise (I want it to be something much more interesting).
Today has not been a good day. There have been GOOD parts, but as a whole it's not been good. Nothing BAD has happened really unless you count me NOT finding my license, me NOT being as compassionate and sympathetic as I should have, me BEING selfish and childish and me ending up feeling like a primo ass on top of me already feeling kind of isolated and lonely. *sigh* At least my pets still like me and the Little People are still talking to me and K hasn't tried to kill me recently. Enough of all that, I don't want to talk about it really - I've already done far too much internal dialogue today. On to other things.
Baubles
I was flipping through the only parenting magazine I get, Child - which to be honest I don't like parenting magazines as a whole, the only reason I get Child is because it is a gift subscription, but I dislike most of the articles and absolutely hate a lot of the advertising. I keep it in the bathroom for reading materials. Today I flipped to the back of the magazine and saw a photo charm bracelet that was to DIE for. It's made by Brag, Inc. and it says you can mail or e-mail your photo and they will make a charm with your photo. I went to the website and almost choked on the price of the bracelets, so I looked at the price of just the charm. I had to just stop looking at that point. Sticker shock would be a horrible thing to have the coroner put on the death certificate as the reason for my demise (I want it to be something much more interesting).
LOST!
Fuck. I managed to somehow loose my drivers license. I rented movies on Friday night and Sunday night when I went to return the movies and rent some more, my liscense was GONE. Damn it. I'm not sure where I lost it - I think one of the Little People may have been messing around in my purse and took it out. Damn it. I'll be spending the day scrounging through house looking for the damn thing.
Fuck. I managed to somehow loose my drivers license. I rented movies on Friday night and Sunday night when I went to return the movies and rent some more, my liscense was GONE. Damn it. I'm not sure where I lost it - I think one of the Little People may have been messing around in my purse and took it out. Damn it. I'll be spending the day scrounging through house looking for the damn thing.
Friday, August 20, 2004
We Have Bubonic Plague
Yes, yes, we have Bubonic Plague, B for short. Yesterday as K was walking up to the door he spotted the above pictured rodent skitter across our door step and under the wagon outside. He called me out to see and confirm that it was a gerbil. When he lifted the wagon the little rodent just sat there all wide eyed staring at us. Here comes the dilemma. What to do? I am a self professed gerbil disliker, but this little critter is obviously not wild and it's raining. *sigh* I can't leave it outside to get wet and snarfed up by a cat. I tell K to get something to put it in. The rodent and I stare at each other as K dashes inside to search for an appropriate container. I approach the rodent and extend my hand to which it walked half way into then decided to skitter off. I was appreciative for the rodent not biting me and giving me rabies, I pursued it as it went around the corner and scooped it up just as K was exiting with a suitable container and the Little People were descending the stairs. The little bugger was quite scared now with all the noise and commotion. I told K the container was too dirty to put the gerbil in, told the Little People to back off and quiet down and I grabbed their tea set container to put the gerbil in - hey it had a lid!
We anguished for a few moments as to what to do. We have two cats who would adore a little gerbil for entertainment and dinner. I'm planning on getting more fish in September so I'm not willing to give up the fish tank for a rodent. I fear stinky rodent smells in my house. Releasing it back into the wild was out of the question as it isn't a wild animal and would probably be an easy dinner for the many rodent eating critters in the area (cats, dogs, raccoons, snakes, etc.) - I could not bear the guilt from that. We headed to Pet Smart to procure the minimum of supplies for a gerbil. A small plastic cage/box, a small bag of food, a small water bottle and a small bag of bedding stuff for $13. Although EVERYONE else in my brood was looking at larger cages with toys, etc. I wasn't willing to purchase anything that even suggested that the rodent would become a permanent part of this household. If we find it's real owner I'll more than happy to hand it over. If it starts to stink I'm getting rid of it. If I just decide I hate owning it (kind of like my dog) then I'm getting rid of it. If my cat can't leave it alone and spends all her waking moments either plotting to get it out of the box or terrorizing the gerbil thereby causing it to develop a nervous condition, I'll get rid of it. I've explained to the Little People these points, I want them to understand that our possession of Bubonic Plague may be temporary.
Last night B spent the night in K's bedroom (heh, sounds like the lead into a bad gay joke doesn't it?) as my cat suddenly realized we had a rodent in a box on the counter. She figured it must be for her and jumped up to check out 'her' package a few times. I figured it was safer for the rodent to spend the night behind locked doors (and not in my bed room - that thing scratches and digs a lot and I'm a light sleeper, plus Sunshine spends most nights on my bed).
So now we tentatively have a gerbil. Bubonic Plague. Why the name? Oh, well I said in the car that since I was the one to run out into the cold wet grass in my bare feet and catch the little bugger I would be the one to name it. K didn't think my suggestion of Jesus was funny and refused to let it stand. Bastard. My decision, if it was a boy it would be Attilla and if it was a girl it would be Bubonic Plague. It's a girl, B it is.
Hard to believe that K is the first to bring a stray animal home and not one of the Little People.
Yes, yes, we have Bubonic Plague, B for short. Yesterday as K was walking up to the door he spotted the above pictured rodent skitter across our door step and under the wagon outside. He called me out to see and confirm that it was a gerbil. When he lifted the wagon the little rodent just sat there all wide eyed staring at us. Here comes the dilemma. What to do? I am a self professed gerbil disliker, but this little critter is obviously not wild and it's raining. *sigh* I can't leave it outside to get wet and snarfed up by a cat. I tell K to get something to put it in. The rodent and I stare at each other as K dashes inside to search for an appropriate container. I approach the rodent and extend my hand to which it walked half way into then decided to skitter off. I was appreciative for the rodent not biting me and giving me rabies, I pursued it as it went around the corner and scooped it up just as K was exiting with a suitable container and the Little People were descending the stairs. The little bugger was quite scared now with all the noise and commotion. I told K the container was too dirty to put the gerbil in, told the Little People to back off and quiet down and I grabbed their tea set container to put the gerbil in - hey it had a lid!
We anguished for a few moments as to what to do. We have two cats who would adore a little gerbil for entertainment and dinner. I'm planning on getting more fish in September so I'm not willing to give up the fish tank for a rodent. I fear stinky rodent smells in my house. Releasing it back into the wild was out of the question as it isn't a wild animal and would probably be an easy dinner for the many rodent eating critters in the area (cats, dogs, raccoons, snakes, etc.) - I could not bear the guilt from that. We headed to Pet Smart to procure the minimum of supplies for a gerbil. A small plastic cage/box, a small bag of food, a small water bottle and a small bag of bedding stuff for $13. Although EVERYONE else in my brood was looking at larger cages with toys, etc. I wasn't willing to purchase anything that even suggested that the rodent would become a permanent part of this household. If we find it's real owner I'll more than happy to hand it over. If it starts to stink I'm getting rid of it. If I just decide I hate owning it (kind of like my dog) then I'm getting rid of it. If my cat can't leave it alone and spends all her waking moments either plotting to get it out of the box or terrorizing the gerbil thereby causing it to develop a nervous condition, I'll get rid of it. I've explained to the Little People these points, I want them to understand that our possession of Bubonic Plague may be temporary.
Last night B spent the night in K's bedroom (heh, sounds like the lead into a bad gay joke doesn't it?) as my cat suddenly realized we had a rodent in a box on the counter. She figured it must be for her and jumped up to check out 'her' package a few times. I figured it was safer for the rodent to spend the night behind locked doors (and not in my bed room - that thing scratches and digs a lot and I'm a light sleeper, plus Sunshine spends most nights on my bed).
So now we tentatively have a gerbil. Bubonic Plague. Why the name? Oh, well I said in the car that since I was the one to run out into the cold wet grass in my bare feet and catch the little bugger I would be the one to name it. K didn't think my suggestion of Jesus was funny and refused to let it stand. Bastard. My decision, if it was a boy it would be Attilla and if it was a girl it would be Bubonic Plague. It's a girl, B it is.
Hard to believe that K is the first to bring a stray animal home and not one of the Little People.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Something Stupid For Today
Because I'm feeling rather unimaginative at the moment, I'll do "I say ___, you think ___." Using the following words respond with your first thought. You can respond with one word, a sentence, or just babble like crazy! Ready? Here is my answers.
01. protection - Trojan
02. twist - of lime
03. furry - What? I just waxed!
04. buck - stops here? Please?
05. purple - panties, I'm wearing them
06 wave - of emotion
07. flash - of lightening
08. pokey - is a stupid little clay horse
09. neon - lights
10. elastic - in my undies
11. chips - in bed suck
12. float - ice cream
Answer if you want, don't if you don't.
Because I'm feeling rather unimaginative at the moment, I'll do "I say ___, you think ___." Using the following words respond with your first thought. You can respond with one word, a sentence, or just babble like crazy! Ready? Here is my answers.
01. protection - Trojan
02. twist - of lime
03. furry - What? I just waxed!
04. buck - stops here? Please?
05. purple - panties, I'm wearing them
06 wave - of emotion
07. flash - of lightening
08. pokey - is a stupid little clay horse
09. neon - lights
10. elastic - in my undies
11. chips - in bed suck
12. float - ice cream
Answer if you want, don't if you don't.
Amazing Outpouring
It’s raining here. Hard. This is hardly believable. It rarely ever rains this far into summer. It’s also 72 outside. 8 am, it’s raining and it’s 72 outside on August 19, 2004 in Dallas, Texas. Things are also still beautiful, green and growing outside. How odd. In any normal year it would be 8 am, sunny outside with no wind what so ever and it would be 98 outside with a metorological promise of it getting to 101 or 102 by noon, everything that once was growing would be dry and brown – aside from things that were obsessively tended by landscaping crews who watered on a carefully timed out schedule to keep things at an unnatural yet very appealing green lushness.
The rain is supposed to continue today and tomorrow with temperatures only reaching the mid 80’s. Looking at the 10 day forecast, there are only two days forecast with temperatures above 89. What happened to all that Global Warming stuff? I’m not complaining – the cooler temperatures are a nice change, but this just kind of makes that whole Global Warming thing hard to sell.
It’s raining here. Hard. This is hardly believable. It rarely ever rains this far into summer. It’s also 72 outside. 8 am, it’s raining and it’s 72 outside on August 19, 2004 in Dallas, Texas. Things are also still beautiful, green and growing outside. How odd. In any normal year it would be 8 am, sunny outside with no wind what so ever and it would be 98 outside with a metorological promise of it getting to 101 or 102 by noon, everything that once was growing would be dry and brown – aside from things that were obsessively tended by landscaping crews who watered on a carefully timed out schedule to keep things at an unnatural yet very appealing green lushness.
The rain is supposed to continue today and tomorrow with temperatures only reaching the mid 80’s. Looking at the 10 day forecast, there are only two days forecast with temperatures above 89. What happened to all that Global Warming stuff? I’m not complaining – the cooler temperatures are a nice change, but this just kind of makes that whole Global Warming thing hard to sell.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Revelations
Today when Super Girl got off the bus one of the first things she did was to inform me that she did NOT have a boyfriend. I grinned and said 'Okay' as I took her hand to walk home.
Tonight just before bed time stories she looked at me and said "Mom, I have to tell you the truth" (which comes out as 'truff') to which I replied "Hmmm? About what?" then, with every bit of drama she could muster (which to be honest wasn't a whole hell of a lot as she was very tired from going to the baseball game the night before) and said "I do have a boyfriend." I couldn't help but smile. I asked if he was in kindergarten just like her and she replied that he is 5 also. She babbled on for a couple of moments about playing with him then said something about ANOTHER boyfriend! Yikes! It's only her second day of school and she's got two boyfriends??? I think I may have to save up to put her in an all girl's convent school when she get's close to hitting puberty. ;o)
Today when Super Girl got off the bus one of the first things she did was to inform me that she did NOT have a boyfriend. I grinned and said 'Okay' as I took her hand to walk home.
Tonight just before bed time stories she looked at me and said "Mom, I have to tell you the truth" (which comes out as 'truff') to which I replied "Hmmm? About what?" then, with every bit of drama she could muster (which to be honest wasn't a whole hell of a lot as she was very tired from going to the baseball game the night before) and said "I do have a boyfriend." I couldn't help but smile. I asked if he was in kindergarten just like her and she replied that he is 5 also. She babbled on for a couple of moments about playing with him then said something about ANOTHER boyfriend! Yikes! It's only her second day of school and she's got two boyfriends??? I think I may have to save up to put her in an all girl's convent school when she get's close to hitting puberty. ;o)
Hair Raising Experience
Last night K took Super Girl and Cabbage Patch to a baseball game. I politely declined as I'd rather have eyes gouged out by my cat right after she exits the litter box than sit through 9 innings of baseball. (yes I do really dislike baseball that much)
Instead of the ever so thrilling jaunt to the Ballpark In Arlington, I opted for a nice bath with hair removing exercises. It was thrilling to be able to shave my legs (and all) with out the Little People turning the whole event into an Extreme Sport involving blood loss and swear words.
After a relaxing bath (actually just scrubbing and shaving - I really don't know what people do in the bath who linger for an hour or so... Well I do have some ideas and if I had a water proof BOB, I might linger for an hour or so also... But I digress) it was time to complete the hair removal process. This involved molten hot wax and pain, my pain to be exact. Thankfully my microwave is fixed so heating the above mentioned wax was easy. I prefer the potentially lethal hot spots of a microwave method over the potentially house catching on fire method of double boiler on the stove top. (really this is safest, I nearly burned my lunch today because I walked out of the room to pick something up and by the time I returned I fucking forgot I had put my sandwich in the oven to melt the cheese under the broiler.) After applying a thick coating of the searing wax to all the unwanted hairy areas (everywhere but my eyelids and lips really), I was delighted to see hairless ness. Well not really delighted, I was in near screaming pain with tears streaming down my wax encrusted self, but happy that my skin was left and the hair was gone. Ahhhh 4 - 6 weeks of without the unwanted hair (well probably 2-3 before the 5 o'clock shadow emerges again - my hair grows fast - especially the unwanted and unslightly kind).
And then to ad to the greatness of my evening, I spoke to XXX for a couple of hours. *sigh* What a fabulous sexy man. He definitely knows how to make me melt.
Last night K took Super Girl and Cabbage Patch to a baseball game. I politely declined as I'd rather have eyes gouged out by my cat right after she exits the litter box than sit through 9 innings of baseball. (yes I do really dislike baseball that much)
Instead of the ever so thrilling jaunt to the Ballpark In Arlington, I opted for a nice bath with hair removing exercises. It was thrilling to be able to shave my legs (and all) with out the Little People turning the whole event into an Extreme Sport involving blood loss and swear words.
After a relaxing bath (actually just scrubbing and shaving - I really don't know what people do in the bath who linger for an hour or so... Well I do have some ideas and if I had a water proof BOB, I might linger for an hour or so also... But I digress) it was time to complete the hair removal process. This involved molten hot wax and pain, my pain to be exact. Thankfully my microwave is fixed so heating the above mentioned wax was easy. I prefer the potentially lethal hot spots of a microwave method over the potentially house catching on fire method of double boiler on the stove top. (really this is safest, I nearly burned my lunch today because I walked out of the room to pick something up and by the time I returned I fucking forgot I had put my sandwich in the oven to melt the cheese under the broiler.) After applying a thick coating of the searing wax to all the unwanted hairy areas (everywhere but my eyelids and lips really), I was delighted to see hairless ness. Well not really delighted, I was in near screaming pain with tears streaming down my wax encrusted self, but happy that my skin was left and the hair was gone. Ahhhh 4 - 6 weeks of without the unwanted hair (well probably 2-3 before the 5 o'clock shadow emerges again - my hair grows fast - especially the unwanted and unslightly kind).
And then to ad to the greatness of my evening, I spoke to XXX for a couple of hours. *sigh* What a fabulous sexy man. He definitely knows how to make me melt.
It's Official, I'm A Sap
Super Girl rode the bus this morning. I had tears sliding down my cheeks as I waved to her while the bus drove off toward school. *sigh* I'll probably get all teary when the bus arrives this afternoon to drop her off.
I really must stop tearing up at every moment, people are going to start thinking I'm the most ill adjusted parent in the school.
Super Girl rode the bus this morning. I had tears sliding down my cheeks as I waved to her while the bus drove off toward school. *sigh* I'll probably get all teary when the bus arrives this afternoon to drop her off.
I really must stop tearing up at every moment, people are going to start thinking I'm the most ill adjusted parent in the school.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Day One
I suppose my child sacrifice to the evil gods of public education was accepted. Super Girl said she liked school. My fears were for naught. My anxieties just a good waste of trauma. My paranoia unfounded. As usual.
My progeny received a large envelope full of papers and crap intended for me to fill out and return to the High Priestess of Evi... er.. I mean teacher. I'm slightly irritated at having to fill out some of the paper work as it's duplicate crap of crap I've already filled out when I registered Super Girl and had to deal with The Attendance Clerk From Hell back at the end of June. Why do I need to fill this out AGAIN? Is the copy machine broken? Is this a test to make sure I'm not putting false information on the papers? Ugh, whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm determined to keep an open mind, a positive attitude and not become the parent everyone dreads to see approach the school. In order to do that, it is important for me to go with the flow. Find my zen about this public education. Be flexible, practice metaphorical yoga. Ommmmmmm... I will be a nice parent... I will be a nice parent... I will refrain from bitch slapping Attendance Clerk From Hell... Ack! Loosing concentration!
Anyway, Cabbage Patch was comical today. Every so often she would come up to me and ask where her sister was. Other times she was quite chatty, talking to me about anything and everything (Look! I find kangawoo! Look! I find teddy bear! Look! Piggy!). When she awoke from her nap she wanted to know where her sister was. It was cute.
We ventured out to the post office then to the school to pick up Super Girl. I arrived earlier than I had intended but got a good spot in the pick up line. So we waited, and waited and waited. School gets out at 3:30 pm and the line didn't start moving until nearly 4 pm! Super Girl was brought to me right about 4 pm and we got home at 4:10 pm. It was a pain in the ass to pick her up. Suddenly I was pleased that she would be riding the bus from now on.
Tomorrow a whole new set of anxieties and paranoias as I put my child on the bus to head to school. I'll update between breathing in a paper bag and scrounging for left over Valium in my pantry.
I suppose my child sacrifice to the evil gods of public education was accepted. Super Girl said she liked school. My fears were for naught. My anxieties just a good waste of trauma. My paranoia unfounded. As usual.
My progeny received a large envelope full of papers and crap intended for me to fill out and return to the High Priestess of Evi... er.. I mean teacher. I'm slightly irritated at having to fill out some of the paper work as it's duplicate crap of crap I've already filled out when I registered Super Girl and had to deal with The Attendance Clerk From Hell back at the end of June. Why do I need to fill this out AGAIN? Is the copy machine broken? Is this a test to make sure I'm not putting false information on the papers? Ugh, whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm determined to keep an open mind, a positive attitude and not become the parent everyone dreads to see approach the school. In order to do that, it is important for me to go with the flow. Find my zen about this public education. Be flexible, practice metaphorical yoga. Ommmmmmm... I will be a nice parent... I will be a nice parent... I will refrain from bitch slapping Attendance Clerk From Hell... Ack! Loosing concentration!
Anyway, Cabbage Patch was comical today. Every so often she would come up to me and ask where her sister was. Other times she was quite chatty, talking to me about anything and everything (Look! I find kangawoo! Look! I find teddy bear! Look! Piggy!). When she awoke from her nap she wanted to know where her sister was. It was cute.
We ventured out to the post office then to the school to pick up Super Girl. I arrived earlier than I had intended but got a good spot in the pick up line. So we waited, and waited and waited. School gets out at 3:30 pm and the line didn't start moving until nearly 4 pm! Super Girl was brought to me right about 4 pm and we got home at 4:10 pm. It was a pain in the ass to pick her up. Suddenly I was pleased that she would be riding the bus from now on.
Tomorrow a whole new set of anxieties and paranoias as I put my child on the bus to head to school. I'll update between breathing in a paper bag and scrounging for left over Valium in my pantry.
It Is Done
I have handed off my first born child to the absolute uncertainty of the public school system. Despite my pained and panicked look my eldest progeny wrenched herself from the death grip of which I held on to her as we waited to be recognized by the instructor. With the fearlessness she has possessed since birth she confidently strode into the room secure in her place, I was not anywhere near that. She bid us farewell with irritation in her voice as we had overstayed our welcome and she was ready to be at SCHOOL with out MOM and DAD and SISTER. K drug me from the room as I kicked and screamed something about loosing my baby while clinging to her seat. My composure was reinstated in the 'Calm Room' with the other hysterical parents. A tall cup of coffee, a Valium, a shot of Tequila and some commiserating with other tearful parents and I was good to go... Well that and being threatened with having the nice police man in front of the school come forcibly remove me from the premises... I chose to walk out without the shiny bracelets.
OK, a bit of an exaggeration. Super Girl was up right at 7 am this morning. No one even had to wake her, she was ready to go (think of the Sponge Bob I'm Ready song). She came into my room first thing this morning and announced that she was dressed for school (and quite proud of herself about it). I looked at her outfit, a pink and white sleeveless shirt with a kitty on it and blue tie-dyed shorts. I said "Uh no honey, you can't wear that to school. I thought you were going to wear one of your dresses." Thankfully she was more excited about her NEW dress than her outfit she had already put on. Breakfast was toast and jelly with milk (her choice), she was practically buzzing she was so excited about school. Every few moments she was trying to get us hurried along. She choose her pink dress to wear and her NEW lavender shoes. I sent her upstairs to get socks, she came down the stairs in bright turquoise socks. I said "Um... Don't you want to wear white socks? The blue socks won't match your dress." No, no she wanted the blue socks and decided to wear her denim dress to match the socks. OK, not really but sure to look better than the pink and white dress. She chose a hair bow thing that matched her socks and it all looked really cute.
Off to school. After feeding, dressing and fixing hair of both girls I dashed into my room and got dressed. Then it was time to go. A couple of pictures of Super Girl with her backpack on as we head to the car. Everybody in the car. I'm amazed at how smooth this is going. No major issues. We hit the road and Super Girl starts screaming at me that I'm going the wrong way to get to her school. Nice. She does this until we can see the school. Grrr...
To class we go. We wait in like behind another mom and new kindergarten, the whole time Super Girl is trying to wiggle out of my grip to push ahead into class. When it's our turn the teacher says that she forgot to get our family picture at meet the teacher night and takes our photo. Super Girl can barely stand still for the camera as she's so excited to start being a KINDERGARTENER. A few words with the teacher about busses and all and I'm feeling better about the teacher (I had a negative experience with her on meet the parent night). Super Girl finds her seat and is ready for us to go. Hugs and kisses later and she is practically giving us the bums rush out of the room. As we get to the hall way, Cabbage Patch realizes that we are going and Super Girl is staying and the water works start. She cries the whole way back to the car. I manage to contain my tears until I get in the car.
All went well, I'm sure Super Girl is having the time of her life. I'm still paranoid and teary eyed. I'm a mom. I'll be watching the clock and anxiously waiting for 3:15 pm - time to pick Super Girl up. Tomorrow will be a whole new batch of anxieties as she will be taking the school bus to and from school. I swear I'll have an ulcer by the time she gets to first grade - if not by the end of this week!
I have handed off my first born child to the absolute uncertainty of the public school system. Despite my pained and panicked look my eldest progeny wrenched herself from the death grip of which I held on to her as we waited to be recognized by the instructor. With the fearlessness she has possessed since birth she confidently strode into the room secure in her place, I was not anywhere near that. She bid us farewell with irritation in her voice as we had overstayed our welcome and she was ready to be at SCHOOL with out MOM and DAD and SISTER. K drug me from the room as I kicked and screamed something about loosing my baby while clinging to her seat. My composure was reinstated in the 'Calm Room' with the other hysterical parents. A tall cup of coffee, a Valium, a shot of Tequila and some commiserating with other tearful parents and I was good to go... Well that and being threatened with having the nice police man in front of the school come forcibly remove me from the premises... I chose to walk out without the shiny bracelets.
OK, a bit of an exaggeration. Super Girl was up right at 7 am this morning. No one even had to wake her, she was ready to go (think of the Sponge Bob I'm Ready song). She came into my room first thing this morning and announced that she was dressed for school (and quite proud of herself about it). I looked at her outfit, a pink and white sleeveless shirt with a kitty on it and blue tie-dyed shorts. I said "Uh no honey, you can't wear that to school. I thought you were going to wear one of your dresses." Thankfully she was more excited about her NEW dress than her outfit she had already put on. Breakfast was toast and jelly with milk (her choice), she was practically buzzing she was so excited about school. Every few moments she was trying to get us hurried along. She choose her pink dress to wear and her NEW lavender shoes. I sent her upstairs to get socks, she came down the stairs in bright turquoise socks. I said "Um... Don't you want to wear white socks? The blue socks won't match your dress." No, no she wanted the blue socks and decided to wear her denim dress to match the socks. OK, not really but sure to look better than the pink and white dress. She chose a hair bow thing that matched her socks and it all looked really cute.
Off to school. After feeding, dressing and fixing hair of both girls I dashed into my room and got dressed. Then it was time to go. A couple of pictures of Super Girl with her backpack on as we head to the car. Everybody in the car. I'm amazed at how smooth this is going. No major issues. We hit the road and Super Girl starts screaming at me that I'm going the wrong way to get to her school. Nice. She does this until we can see the school. Grrr...
To class we go. We wait in like behind another mom and new kindergarten, the whole time Super Girl is trying to wiggle out of my grip to push ahead into class. When it's our turn the teacher says that she forgot to get our family picture at meet the teacher night and takes our photo. Super Girl can barely stand still for the camera as she's so excited to start being a KINDERGARTENER. A few words with the teacher about busses and all and I'm feeling better about the teacher (I had a negative experience with her on meet the parent night). Super Girl finds her seat and is ready for us to go. Hugs and kisses later and she is practically giving us the bums rush out of the room. As we get to the hall way, Cabbage Patch realizes that we are going and Super Girl is staying and the water works start. She cries the whole way back to the car. I manage to contain my tears until I get in the car.
All went well, I'm sure Super Girl is having the time of her life. I'm still paranoid and teary eyed. I'm a mom. I'll be watching the clock and anxiously waiting for 3:15 pm - time to pick Super Girl up. Tomorrow will be a whole new batch of anxieties as she will be taking the school bus to and from school. I swear I'll have an ulcer by the time she gets to first grade - if not by the end of this week!
Monday, August 16, 2004
Distraction Tactic
Today Super Girl was getting in trouble for something (I can't remember, probably for not cleaning up toys or something), while I'm talking to her and she's giving me the 'whatever' look and trying to blame her sister for the offense, suddenly she looks to the side and says "Look! A hippopotamus!" It took every ounce of control and willpower to not start laughing. Maybe next time I'm getting a ticket I'll try that.
Today Super Girl was getting in trouble for something (I can't remember, probably for not cleaning up toys or something), while I'm talking to her and she's giving me the 'whatever' look and trying to blame her sister for the offense, suddenly she looks to the side and says "Look! A hippopotamus!" It took every ounce of control and willpower to not start laughing. Maybe next time I'm getting a ticket I'll try that.
Another Delightful Surprise
Last night my dear brother called to wish me a belated happy birthday. It was very nice to talk to him and hear that everything was going well for him. I worry about him.
Also last night I got a message from a man I dated a couple of years ago. He is very nice man. Anyway, I hadn't talked to him since the beginning of February, he just wanted to know how I was doing. I sent him back a message that things were going well in my life, told him about my fabulous boyfriend, XXX. He sent back the nicest message telling me how happy he is for me and how he thinks I am a wonderful woman and XXX is a lucky man. Heh, made me smile to hear that. (yeah I'm all about being flattered!)
Last night my dear brother called to wish me a belated happy birthday. It was very nice to talk to him and hear that everything was going well for him. I worry about him.
Also last night I got a message from a man I dated a couple of years ago. He is very nice man. Anyway, I hadn't talked to him since the beginning of February, he just wanted to know how I was doing. I sent him back a message that things were going well in my life, told him about my fabulous boyfriend, XXX. He sent back the nicest message telling me how happy he is for me and how he thinks I am a wonderful woman and XXX is a lucky man. Heh, made me smile to hear that. (yeah I'm all about being flattered!)
Squirrel Parts
I am part squirrel, flying squirrel to be exact. Actually all the women in my family are. I’m not sure when some crazy scientist started messing with the DNA of my family but it had to be at least a few generations ago. All of us have squirrel wings. They begin to appear after a certain age. It’s frightening I tell you. Especially frightening is the fact that the women in my family seem to favor sleeveless fashions – myself included. I’ve decided that instead of try to fight nature I will instead work to cultivate the long lost (by my family) art of gliding from tree to tree. I’m sure it will somehow be a useful skill to have someday. I figure that since I’m 33 now and am at the beginning stages of my wing development by the time I’m retirement age I will have an impressive set of wings and be an expert at gliding from tree to tree. This skill added to the fact that after I retire I plan to become the bearded lady will make me quite famous and a highly sought out carnival performer. Ahh some days it’s nice to know that genetics are on my side as far as the freak factor.
I am part squirrel, flying squirrel to be exact. Actually all the women in my family are. I’m not sure when some crazy scientist started messing with the DNA of my family but it had to be at least a few generations ago. All of us have squirrel wings. They begin to appear after a certain age. It’s frightening I tell you. Especially frightening is the fact that the women in my family seem to favor sleeveless fashions – myself included. I’ve decided that instead of try to fight nature I will instead work to cultivate the long lost (by my family) art of gliding from tree to tree. I’m sure it will somehow be a useful skill to have someday. I figure that since I’m 33 now and am at the beginning stages of my wing development by the time I’m retirement age I will have an impressive set of wings and be an expert at gliding from tree to tree. This skill added to the fact that after I retire I plan to become the bearded lady will make me quite famous and a highly sought out carnival performer. Ahh some days it’s nice to know that genetics are on my side as far as the freak factor.
Weekend Surprise
Friday or maybe it was Thursday, K had informed me that B (his boyfriend) wanted to take me to dinner on Saturday night. I said okay.
Saturday I woke rather tired after not sleeping well due to my anxiety over Super Girl starting school tomorrow. Thank goodness for coffee. I worked a very long (and somewhat profitable) day on Saturday and didn't get home until after 5:30 pm. I was tired. I wanted a nap but I knew I was going to have to drive K and The Little People over to B's place. I was really really considering how to get out of dinner plans so I could get some sleep.
We arrive at B's house and when B opens the door I'm greeted with shouts of 'Surprise!' Seems K planned a little get together. Mystical D and her husband The Queen were there, a rarely seen friend Wil and his little boy where there and of course B, K and The Little People. Petey had to work and couldn't make it. The New Mrs. S and her Husband didn't make it - but Sunday was her birthday so they were probably out celebrating her b-day. The Bear did not make it, nor did Giggles as Giggles got engaged to The Postman the night before and supposedly The Bear, Giggles and one other person HAD to go out looking at wedding dresses. Huh? Is she getting married this coming weekend? What's the rush? Whatever. Doesn't even matter really. We had a lot of fun at the party. I'm not going to go into the details of all the food, the party games, copious amounts of booze, strippers, loud music, police at the door, balloons and midgets. It was fun. Things didn't wrap up until 1:30 am.
More Pressies for me! Mystical D and The Queen got me some Starbucks Breakfast Blend ground coffee, a tin of International Foods instant coffee and the cutest cow pen!
Thanks to everyone who attended, thanks to K for planning the party (WOW - after 10 years, you actually surprised me!) & thanks to B for letting us mess up his house and for making the cake. I had fun.
Friday or maybe it was Thursday, K had informed me that B (his boyfriend) wanted to take me to dinner on Saturday night. I said okay.
Saturday I woke rather tired after not sleeping well due to my anxiety over Super Girl starting school tomorrow. Thank goodness for coffee. I worked a very long (and somewhat profitable) day on Saturday and didn't get home until after 5:30 pm. I was tired. I wanted a nap but I knew I was going to have to drive K and The Little People over to B's place. I was really really considering how to get out of dinner plans so I could get some sleep.
We arrive at B's house and when B opens the door I'm greeted with shouts of 'Surprise!' Seems K planned a little get together. Mystical D and her husband The Queen were there, a rarely seen friend Wil and his little boy where there and of course B, K and The Little People. Petey had to work and couldn't make it. The New Mrs. S and her Husband didn't make it - but Sunday was her birthday so they were probably out celebrating her b-day. The Bear did not make it, nor did Giggles as Giggles got engaged to The Postman the night before and supposedly The Bear, Giggles and one other person HAD to go out looking at wedding dresses. Huh? Is she getting married this coming weekend? What's the rush? Whatever. Doesn't even matter really. We had a lot of fun at the party. I'm not going to go into the details of all the food, the party games, copious amounts of booze, strippers, loud music, police at the door, balloons and midgets. It was fun. Things didn't wrap up until 1:30 am.
More Pressies for me! Mystical D and The Queen got me some Starbucks Breakfast Blend ground coffee, a tin of International Foods instant coffee and the cutest cow pen!
Thanks to everyone who attended, thanks to K for planning the party (WOW - after 10 years, you actually surprised me!) & thanks to B for letting us mess up his house and for making the cake. I had fun.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Black Cat
Just in case none of you had a lovely black cat cross your path today, I thought I'd put up the one in my neighborhood.
Funny thing is that this cat is super skiddish and I think I've only see it 3 or 4 times in the past year but there it was today, running around the parking lot on Friday the 13th.
Just in case none of you had a lovely black cat cross your path today, I thought I'd put up the one in my neighborhood.
Funny thing is that this cat is super skiddish and I think I've only see it 3 or 4 times in the past year but there it was today, running around the parking lot on Friday the 13th.
Nice And Relaxing... NOT!
Things that are suppose to relax but don't
Doing yoga, normally very relaxing, add in a toddler and a kindergardener who think a person in a yoga pose is a person wanting to be used as a jungle gym.
Reading, normally very relzaxing, with the combination above it becomes a lesson in futility as you reread the same sentence 15 times before tossing book into the bathroom realizing that the only 'reading time' you have now happens to be when you are in the bathroom with the door locked while tiny fists pound on the door and tiny voices continually question whether you are in there, are you coming out, when is snack time, etc. until you finally emerge.
Meditation - add in the Tiny Terrorist and they think it's a free for all. The sound of things crashing to the floor, screaming and cat's howling make meditation impossible for anyone but the absolute deaf. No I've never tried mediation, I'm not that stupid to give the Tiny Terrorists even a 30 second head start in their secret demoliton plot.
All for now. Time to take the Tiny Terrorists out to burn off some excess energy.
Things that are suppose to relax but don't
Doing yoga, normally very relaxing, add in a toddler and a kindergardener who think a person in a yoga pose is a person wanting to be used as a jungle gym.
Reading, normally very relzaxing, with the combination above it becomes a lesson in futility as you reread the same sentence 15 times before tossing book into the bathroom realizing that the only 'reading time' you have now happens to be when you are in the bathroom with the door locked while tiny fists pound on the door and tiny voices continually question whether you are in there, are you coming out, when is snack time, etc. until you finally emerge.
Meditation - add in the Tiny Terrorist and they think it's a free for all. The sound of things crashing to the floor, screaming and cat's howling make meditation impossible for anyone but the absolute deaf. No I've never tried mediation, I'm not that stupid to give the Tiny Terrorists even a 30 second head start in their secret demoliton plot.
All for now. Time to take the Tiny Terrorists out to burn off some excess energy.
Blessed Are Those Who Feed My Addiction
This birthday has been the coffee birthday. Both K and XXX got me coffee pots. K got me a French Press (pictured above and to the right) and XXX got me a Brew 'N Go that brews one cup at a time. I love both of them. The Brew 'N Go is just like the one XXX has - that I have coveted - it makes a cup of coffee in about 2 minutes - perfect for in the mornings! The French Press is the one I've wanted and makes up to three delicious cups in about 10 minutes. Each pot was opened and in use within minutes of arriving in my hands. Ahhhh....
Perfect presents - they love me. :o) Somedays it's good to be Judy.
This birthday has been the coffee birthday. Both K and XXX got me coffee pots. K got me a French Press (pictured above and to the right) and XXX got me a Brew 'N Go that brews one cup at a time. I love both of them. The Brew 'N Go is just like the one XXX has - that I have coveted - it makes a cup of coffee in about 2 minutes - perfect for in the mornings! The French Press is the one I've wanted and makes up to three delicious cups in about 10 minutes. Each pot was opened and in use within minutes of arriving in my hands. Ahhhh....
Perfect presents - they love me. :o) Somedays it's good to be Judy.
An Icon Passes...
I just read that Julia Child passes away. How very sad. I thought she was very entertaining. Sometimes when I was very young and dreamed of being a master chef, I imagined meeting her and cooking with her.
The article mentions the cook book Mastering The Art Of French Cooking, which is my favorite cookbook. I inherited an old copy (1966 printing) from my mother (which is comical as she wasn't a very good cook and I don't think she ever even opened this cook book) and have used it quite a bit in the past 8 years it's been in my possession.
She was an interesting character, too bad their aren't more like her.
I just read that Julia Child passes away. How very sad. I thought she was very entertaining. Sometimes when I was very young and dreamed of being a master chef, I imagined meeting her and cooking with her.
The article mentions the cook book Mastering The Art Of French Cooking, which is my favorite cookbook. I inherited an old copy (1966 printing) from my mother (which is comical as she wasn't a very good cook and I don't think she ever even opened this cook book) and have used it quite a bit in the past 8 years it's been in my possession.
She was an interesting character, too bad their aren't more like her.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Post Birthday Update
Well Koko (the bitch)totally fucking stood me up for my birthday. I think she did because I told her I wasn't going to pay this time as it was my birthday and all. Damn cheap monkey.
Instead I had a lovely dinner with the family, K made steak and taters. He bought a lovely cake and adorned it with 33 candles which the little people were more than happy to help me blow out. XXX called to wish me happy birthday and send me off to bed with a smile (no, nothing dirty you perv, just talking to him makes me smile).
Today I realized that I'd been given a gift I'll be thinking about all day. Gastrointestinal upset! Woohoo! K must have poisoned me last night. The bastard. So please excuse if I don't update much today, it means a) I've fallen into a deep healing sleep despite having two children screaming and covering the living room in a tidal wave of toys b) I'm in the bathroom wish I was dead or at least in a coma c) my brain is to preoccupied with being sick to make coherent sentences or d) I'm washing the laundry.
Well Koko (the bitch)totally fucking stood me up for my birthday. I think she did because I told her I wasn't going to pay this time as it was my birthday and all. Damn cheap monkey.
Instead I had a lovely dinner with the family, K made steak and taters. He bought a lovely cake and adorned it with 33 candles which the little people were more than happy to help me blow out. XXX called to wish me happy birthday and send me off to bed with a smile (no, nothing dirty you perv, just talking to him makes me smile).
Today I realized that I'd been given a gift I'll be thinking about all day. Gastrointestinal upset! Woohoo! K must have poisoned me last night. The bastard. So please excuse if I don't update much today, it means a) I've fallen into a deep healing sleep despite having two children screaming and covering the living room in a tidal wave of toys b) I'm in the bathroom wish I was dead or at least in a coma c) my brain is to preoccupied with being sick to make coherent sentences or d) I'm washing the laundry.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Fun News
I absolutly love this article - Sex IS good for you! (read this one carefully XXX);o)
Sex Toys for Women - I think I want to be the proprietor of a Sex Shop. :o) XXX, ya wanna help me with product testing?
I absolutly love this article - Sex IS good for you! (read this one carefully XXX);o)
Sex Toys for Women - I think I want to be the proprietor of a Sex Shop. :o) XXX, ya wanna help me with product testing?
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Public Service Announcement
I figured I'd let everyone know yet again that TOMORROW is MY BIRTHDAY. I will be home to receive all the presents and acolades that my adoring public will be sending to me so no need to worry.
heh. Kidding. Tomorrow is my birthday, just kidding about the rest. Gonna call Koko my birthay buddy and see if she wants to take me out for my birthday, maybe a sushi restraunt.
I figured I'd let everyone know yet again that TOMORROW is MY BIRTHDAY. I will be home to receive all the presents and acolades that my adoring public will be sending to me so no need to worry.
heh. Kidding. Tomorrow is my birthday, just kidding about the rest. Gonna call Koko my birthay buddy and see if she wants to take me out for my birthday, maybe a sushi restraunt.
Art Imitating Life
The above is two photos of the wind chime thingie Super Girl got for me when she was visiting her grandma. She had to get it for me, it is me after all. heh. A bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne hang off it, so you know it really is me. ;o) Too bad it didn't have a cup of coffee as well.
The above is two photos of the wind chime thingie Super Girl got for me when she was visiting her grandma. She had to get it for me, it is me after all. heh. A bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne hang off it, so you know it really is me. ;o) Too bad it didn't have a cup of coffee as well.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Great Birthday Pressies
for me of course
Viking Kittens Shirt Or this Viking Kittens Shirt I like the orange kittie because I have an orange kittie.
I wish I could find the link to the Viking Kittens video again.
for me of course
Viking Kittens Shirt Or this Viking Kittens Shirt I like the orange kittie because I have an orange kittie.
I wish I could find the link to the Viking Kittens video again.
My Birthday Buddy
In reading this article about Koko the gorilla I discovered that she turned 33 July 4th. I never realized how close in age she and I are. On that note, let me take this moment to remind people that I will turn 33 on Wednesday. I wonder if Koko will send me a birthday card?
Koko or Judy?
Kind of errie how Koko sucking down the booze looks a lot like me sucking down the booze. I swear we could be twins. Maybe we were separated at birth.
In reading this article about Koko the gorilla I discovered that she turned 33 July 4th. I never realized how close in age she and I are. On that note, let me take this moment to remind people that I will turn 33 on Wednesday. I wonder if Koko will send me a birthday card?
Koko or Judy?
Kind of errie how Koko sucking down the booze looks a lot like me sucking down the booze. I swear we could be twins. Maybe we were separated at birth.
If I Had A Penis...
This would be it's name!
XXX showed me this. hehehe... he's a sick man, that's why I love him.
This would be it's name!
My penis's new name is Major Tom the Strangely Proportioned Intruder.
Take Name Your Penis by badasstronaut today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
XXX showed me this. hehehe... he's a sick man, that's why I love him.
Hafla
Lots of belly dancers, cool dancing, late night trip to get me something to *drink, after **three in an hour I left but not before ***kissing all the guys and the girls. Long drive home.
*Coffee – lots of coffee
**Cups of retched coffee
***Goodbye – kissing everyone good bye that is.
Long Version:
Saturday night instead of our bi-monthly geeky gaming session we attended a hafla. It’s a belly-dancing thingie. It was Mystical D’s very first performance and she had invited us all. Mystical D is married to Bill The Queen.
So I work all day Saturday. I was so busy lunch was vending machine fare of questionable nutritional value. (Warning to others, jerky that you can purchase from a vending machine will haunt you for hours after consumption – I think I’m still burping that cheap jerky). K had done his boss a favor and helped her move ‘a few things’ on Saturday. The ‘few things’ turned into two storage units of heavy items that took from 8 am until 5 pm for them to finish up. I arrived home at
Directions to said hafla were provided by Petey. In the directions we were instructed the shindig would start at 1900 hours. We arrived about 10 minutes after
The new Mrs. S and her husband arrived shortly after that as well as B and we all stood around plotting Petey’s demise for the time thing. The Bear showed up shortly before
The dancing was fascinating, the dancers were lovely. Mystical D did a wonderful job in her dance. Everything was over at
Everyone stood around until
Our group is great; we all do more talking than anything else. It’s a fabulous group. Sometimes it makes me homicidal though. I walked out saying I was heading to Denny’s NOW, others could meet us. I think I already mentioned I was cranky and tired.
Denny’s. As soon as the waitress got us seated I ordered coffee. I needed caffeine and lots of it. The Queen and Mystical D sat across from me. After a few reminders to our waitress coffee was served. It was the foulest coffee, typical of a Denny’s I suppose – especially near
I tend to be very odd when tired and very talkative. I can’t even remember some of the things we all talked about. Politics, piercings, tattoos, religion, pseudonyms and driving directions.
I left about
The drive home was almost as much fun as everything else. I cranked the air conditioner up to freeze, put the radio station on a crappy music station and just drove. Freezing hands and bad music work well to annoy me awake – and if you ad in the full bladder it all works out well.
I got home about
Mini-Cats
The Little People are home from their week long visit with Grandma and GG. Grandma and GG have a huge house. In this house they have 3 dogs and 6 cats. Big cats. Most of the cats are bigger than the dogs. My cats are small by cat standard - just 6 lbs and 7 lbs.
The first thing Super Girl says when we get home is "Oh! They are kittens again!" I've explained several times that our cats are just small cats and GG's cats are BIG cats. It doesn't matter; I'm still getting questions of "why are our cats smaller?" "Why did you make the cats little?" "Are they going to grow big?" "Are they kittens?" To which I have continually answered that our cats are just small, GG has Big cats, our cats have always been small, no they won't get any bigger and the one time answer of 'yes, yes, I did shrink the cats, I washed them and dried them and they got smaller.' to which she asked 'why did you wash the cats?'
Silly child. This morning she asked "Mom, where are the real Sunshine and Dusty?"
Friday, August 06, 2004
I arrived at XXX’s at 9 pm. He was relieved as he was expecting me much earlier. I explained my reasons for being tardy and told him I had called his cell phone and left a message at
The next morning after [Content removed due to graphic sexual content], XXX left for work. He had shown me how to work his coffee machine before leaving. He has the cutest little coffee maker – it makes one cup. Oh I was in LOVE with it! One fabulous fresh cup of coffee! I enjoyed my coffee while watching the news then showered and straightened up before heading out to have lunch with XXX.
We had lunch at a Mexican café close to where he works then walked back to his office where I hung out for most of the day. I had planned to do some city exploring but hanging out and chatting with my sweetie was much more rewarding. Oh stop giving me that look, I know it was sappy sweet and making you want to gag, but deal with it. Anyway, I headed back to his apartment a little after
Back at his place I had the joy of fighting with the lock on his door – fucker sticks for some reason. I made another delicious cup of coffee and watched more news. XXX messaged me a little after 4 to tell me that the movie was at
We saw I, Robot, which I’ve already given my opinion of – Will Smith in the shower - yessss.
We went back to XXX’s place and [Content removed due to graphic sexual content]. We made dinner and watched Calendar Girls – that was a sweet movie then we [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and watched Adult Swim again before falling asleep [Content removed due to graphic sappy nature – gag!].
The next morning [Content removed due to graphic sexual content], I kissed him goodbye and then it was just ME and his coffee maker for the day. Ahhhh coffee. The coffee maker and I share many tender moments together through out the day as I do not a damn thing other than watch movies and surf the internet. Being a mom it’s been a while since I’ve had opportunity to do absolutely NOTHING so I was taking full advantage of it. Besides I had a lovely dinner and some [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] planned for later.
When XXX got home from work we [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and then I made a wonderful dinner. We drank some wine and watched old movies while having desert. Then it was off to the bedroom for [Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content]. Whew that was fun, luckily this time the leather restraints didn’t leave bruises.
The next morning I reluctantly left – it was time to head back to responsibilities of my life – but not before [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and more coffee!!! Damn what a combo XXX is – incredibly sexy, smart, funny, sensitive and he’s got a great coffee maker!
I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it was nearly perfect to me.
The 4 Hour Drive That Took 5 or Fuck How I Hate Traffic On 35!
So I head on to work on Sunday hoping that I can get off work early and me and the Little People can hit the road by 1:30 pm at the latest. Much to my amazement I am finished by work and back home by NOON! K & the Little People are not home. *Sigh* Okay, okay, don’t panic, I’m sure they’ll be home shortly. I just pack (throw everything in a bag) for myself and the kids hoping that I haven’t forgotten anything vital.
At 1 pm I call all people who will be expecting my arrival today (my aunt and XXX) and tell them I plan to leave by 1:30 pm or 2 pm. Get off the phone and look for more pins to stick in the K & B voodoo dolls. Pack car.
2 pm K & B arrive with the Little People. I quickly hide evil voodoo activities and start barking commands at the children so we can get the hell on the road. This trip should take about 4 hours to get the kids to their grandmother’s house.
Everything is going according to schedule until we get close to Georgetown. For some fucking reason there was an unbelievable amount of traffic on the road and for about 34 miles (shortly after I see the sign that says Georgetown 36 miles) traffic is flowing at a brisk 30 mph. Yeah, total pleasure.
We finally arrive 5 freaking hours after we left home. I decline having dinner as I know it’s about an hour and a half to get to XXX and I’m now running REALLY late. The Little People barely notice that I’m leaving; it’s just too much trouble to tear themselves away from the toys, swings and cats at GG and Grandma’s house to give me a hug and kiss. *Sigh* Kids.
I’m out of there by 7:30 pm and arrive at XXX’s door at 9 pm.
Big Ass Spider The Kids And I Saw At Truck Stop
So I head on to work on Sunday hoping that I can get off work early and me and the Little People can hit the road by 1:30 pm at the latest. Much to my amazement I am finished by work and back home by NOON! K & the Little People are not home. *Sigh* Okay, okay, don’t panic, I’m sure they’ll be home shortly. I just pack (throw everything in a bag) for myself and the kids hoping that I haven’t forgotten anything vital.
At 1 pm I call all people who will be expecting my arrival today (my aunt and XXX) and tell them I plan to leave by 1:30 pm or 2 pm. Get off the phone and look for more pins to stick in the K & B voodoo dolls. Pack car.
2 pm K & B arrive with the Little People. I quickly hide evil voodoo activities and start barking commands at the children so we can get the hell on the road. This trip should take about 4 hours to get the kids to their grandmother’s house.
Everything is going according to schedule until we get close to Georgetown. For some fucking reason there was an unbelievable amount of traffic on the road and for about 34 miles (shortly after I see the sign that says Georgetown 36 miles) traffic is flowing at a brisk 30 mph. Yeah, total pleasure.
We finally arrive 5 freaking hours after we left home. I decline having dinner as I know it’s about an hour and a half to get to XXX and I’m now running REALLY late. The Little People barely notice that I’m leaving; it’s just too much trouble to tear themselves away from the toys, swings and cats at GG and Grandma’s house to give me a hug and kiss. *Sigh* Kids.
I’m out of there by 7:30 pm and arrive at XXX’s door at 9 pm.
The Wedding
I took the day off from working my busy hospital so I'd have time to get ready and get the little people all cute. We had an hour drive to the wedding so I really did need the time to get all ready for the shindig. We packed all the wedding clothes in the trunk and headed out about an hour and half before the wedding. I figured we'd stop a bit before we got to the wedding and get dress as I just could not fathom that the little people, K or myself would look presentable after an hours drive.
I took the day off from working my busy hospital so I'd have time to get ready and get the little people all cute. We had an hour drive to the wedding so I really did need the time to get all ready for the shindig. We packed all the wedding clothes in the trunk and headed out about an hour and half before the wedding. I figured we'd stop a bit before we got to the wedding and get dress as I just could not fathom that the little people, K or myself would look presentable after an hours drive.
So off we go, me looking incredibly redneck in a denim jumper with no shirt under, my sparkly make-up and fancy strappy sandals. Yeah I looked hot and sexy, ready to go to the good tractor pull.
Anyway when we were almost there we stopped off at a gas station and all changed (yeah I know, that's really classy - what else was I supposed to do, change in the parking lot of the wedding place??).
The wedding was at
The ceremony was beautiful. Martin looked incredibly handsome and Angie was absolutely beautiful. They looked incredibly happy together. I got all teary... or maybe that was sweat in my eyes. No, kidding, it was very touching to see two people who are so perfectly matched and so in love get married. If I ever get married again I hope to have a ceremony like theirs - except with Elvis officiating the ceremony... and me in a red dress... and none of the praying stuff... and in Vegas... probably the drive thru wedding... maybe... and clowns... Jell-O wrestling... and... Oh, are you still there? Sorry, lost for a moment. Beautiful ceremony.
The reception followed immediately with the best fucking food I've had at a wedding in I don't know how long. Martin and Angie were kind to their guests and instructed us to eat while they finished with the obligatory after wedding photos of the wedding party (which just takes to damn long usually). I must have eaten a half pound of shrimp by myself. Even the Little People enjoyed the food. Cabbage Patch enjoyed the barbecued sausages so much she was wiping her hands on her lovely satin dress. *sigh* Mommy needed a drink at that moment.
They had dancing outdoors after all the gorging and cake cutting in doors. We partook of all the activities while making sure the Little People were within eye shot and not terrorizing more than the other children.
Petey was my savior and managed to find some roofies... I mean Alieve for my sinus headache and later provided me with rum for my punch - twice in fact. The booze came from Martin's brother-in-law Earl. I love that man, every time I've seen him; he always has booze for me. Later I got some wine from Earl.
We dance quite a bit. Even K and I danced. Together that is. He's not a bad dancer. It was fun. We sweated a LOT.
The lovely couple had enough of their rowdy guests about 10 or so and left in a horse drawn carriage. It was beautiful.
K and I gathered the little people and headed to the car. I changed right there by the car. I was HOT and my dress was sweat soaked. Yeah I know, another redneck moment brought to you by Judy.
And that was the wedding. It was nice.
Oh... The dress. I did wear THE dress. I briefly panicked and considered wearing something else as I worried I'd look like a fat cow but at the last moment I said "Fuck it, I'm wearing the dress, damn anyone who doesn't like it." I didn't even wear industrial strength anti-jiggle under garments under the dress - not that I hadn't planned to do so, I just couldn't find the ones I bought the previous day AND the torturous pantyhose I did find were a comical disaster to try to get on. See I haven't worn pantyhose in years. I hate them. I either couldn't remember the proper way to wiggle into control top pantyhose or they were the wrong size. At any rate after struggling with them, starting to sweat and having my giggling children ask me if I need help/offer advice, I pulled them off and tossed them in the trash never to be considered again. I think I looked pretty damn good in the dress; I had decent cleavage going on thanks to a push up bra and the tight bosom of the dress. All was good.
XXX
I'm sure you are all wondering what makes XXX so great - let me tell you (and it's not the fabulous sex so get your mind out of the gutter). He can can clear away the dark clouds and insecurities with a sentence. That's it, one sentence and I smile.
Well that and he doesn't get all tweaked by the fact that I'm probably the most frighteningly hairy women he's ever known - I really should buy stock in hair removal. Gotta love a man who doesn't touch my face and comment on how my beard needs a trim or say how my mustache tickles in an unpleasant way while I give a blow job or mention how the hot and sexy bra I just bought would look much sexier if I didn't have all that hair obscuring the lace.
Damn I'm so freaking happy when I'm with him.
I'm sure you are all wondering what makes XXX so great - let me tell you (and it's not the fabulous sex so get your mind out of the gutter). He can can clear away the dark clouds and insecurities with a sentence. That's it, one sentence and I smile.
Well that and he doesn't get all tweaked by the fact that I'm probably the most frighteningly hairy women he's ever known - I really should buy stock in hair removal. Gotta love a man who doesn't touch my face and comment on how my beard needs a trim or say how my mustache tickles in an unpleasant way while I give a blow job or mention how the hot and sexy bra I just bought would look much sexier if I didn't have all that hair obscuring the lace.
Damn I'm so freaking happy when I'm with him.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Updates Postponed
I'm tired tonight, going to head off to bed soon. I was going to write about EVERYTHING, instead I spent my time writing words to XXX that he'll never see. I know, silly girl stuff, but I'm a girl, what do you expect.
Tomorrow, I'll write tomorrow before my pathetic memory starts to fail me.
Off to bed for now.
I'm tired tonight, going to head off to bed soon. I was going to write about EVERYTHING, instead I spent my time writing words to XXX that he'll never see. I know, silly girl stuff, but I'm a girl, what do you expect.
Tomorrow, I'll write tomorrow before my pathetic memory starts to fail me.
Off to bed for now.
The Queen Returns!!
I mean me, not K. Bastards. (eyes rolling up in head)
I have tons to write but also have tons to do around the house. Tonight, I promise.
Coming soon!
Well I got to go, this house doesn't clean it's self. I keep hoping the cats will get the idea of helping with the house work from watching all the Disney movies.
I mean me, not K. Bastards. (eyes rolling up in head)
I have tons to write but also have tons to do around the house. Tonight, I promise.
Coming soon!
- Highlights from the wedding and the answers to everyone's burning question of "Did she wear THE black dress???" (also, head to the Dr. about that burning, I'm sure it has something to do with that skank from a few weekends ago.)
- The 4 hour drive that took 5 or Fuck how I hate traffic on 35!
- Paradise - My time with XXX and his coffee maker... that should be separate... my time with XXX and my love for his coffee maker. Eh, whatever, read it how you like.
- The drive home or Part II of Fuck how I hate traffic on 35!
Well I got to go, this house doesn't clean it's self. I keep hoping the cats will get the idea of helping with the house work from watching all the Disney movies.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I Love The Way You Love Me...
This week is National Orgasm Week. I hope everyone has been celebrating. Too bad my visit to XXX is over, I guess it's just my over-active imagination and BOB to help me finish out the week. *sigh* What a wonderful visit I had.
This week is National Orgasm Week. I hope everyone has been celebrating. Too bad my visit to XXX is over, I guess it's just my over-active imagination and BOB to help me finish out the week. *sigh* What a wonderful visit I had.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Movie Review
Went to see iRobot with XXX last night. I really enjoyed it. The best part of the movie happens in the first 10 minutes - Will Smith naked in the shower. Ahhhhh... I just wish they had closed the movie with that shot. *sigh* Oh well they had a few nice shots of Will's fabulously muscled bare chest. Very nice. I highly recommend seeing this movie. He looks goooooood. Oh yeah it's got a good story and all too. ;)
Went to see iRobot with XXX last night. I really enjoyed it. The best part of the movie happens in the first 10 minutes - Will Smith naked in the shower. Ahhhhh... I just wish they had closed the movie with that shot. *sigh* Oh well they had a few nice shots of Will's fabulously muscled bare chest. Very nice. I highly recommend seeing this movie. He looks goooooood. Oh yeah it's got a good story and all too. ;)
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Friday, July 30, 2004
Dog's Life
I just read a post on someone else's blog about her torturing her dog by wrapping spegetti around it's snout just to see it snarl to get it off. heh. I wish I had thought of that when I had a dog, but honest I usually thought "Damn it dog, get the fuck off my sofa!" or "Shut the hell up dog, it's just a freaking car!" or "Oh jeezzz get away from me, you stink!" So is anyone surprised that I no longer have a dog? I didn't think so. Is anyone surprised that I still have twinges of guilt for getting rid of her and that I have a framed photo of her? Probably.
I really didn't hate the dog, I just didn't like owning her. See I've had cats since my birth. My grandmother and aunts tell of one of my grandmother's cats putting her kittens in my baby bed when I was an infant. I probably said CAT before I ever said MAMA. I'm a cat person, yet not a crazy cat lady. I have two cats and I DON'T want another one. Two is my maximum for my personal living space. But I digress.
About the dog. I begged to have the damn dog. K gave in and picked up the dog that I had heard about someone trying to find a home for. She was totally devoted to me imediately. All of the cats I've ever owned have been devoted to me, in a very neurotic and catly way. This dog was different. She was a dog and devoted in a very DOG way. Ugh, how undignified. It was cute and flattering at first but annoying before long. She would sit right next to me, follow me everywhere and stare at me with big insecure codependant obsessive devoted dog eyes. Very unnerving. My cat didn't like the dog being so persistent in her begging for attention. Sunshine, who happens to be the nicest cat in the entire world, would rub up against the dog to get her trust then smack the crap out of her. Because I'm basically evil, I found this mildly amuseing. The dog was a huge wuss and lived in fear of anything.
Oh damn, I need to go for now... I'll finish this later...
I just read a post on someone else's blog about her torturing her dog by wrapping spegetti around it's snout just to see it snarl to get it off. heh. I wish I had thought of that when I had a dog, but honest I usually thought "Damn it dog, get the fuck off my sofa!" or "Shut the hell up dog, it's just a freaking car!" or "Oh jeezzz get away from me, you stink!" So is anyone surprised that I no longer have a dog? I didn't think so. Is anyone surprised that I still have twinges of guilt for getting rid of her and that I have a framed photo of her? Probably.
I really didn't hate the dog, I just didn't like owning her. See I've had cats since my birth. My grandmother and aunts tell of one of my grandmother's cats putting her kittens in my baby bed when I was an infant. I probably said CAT before I ever said MAMA. I'm a cat person, yet not a crazy cat lady. I have two cats and I DON'T want another one. Two is my maximum for my personal living space. But I digress.
About the dog. I begged to have the damn dog. K gave in and picked up the dog that I had heard about someone trying to find a home for. She was totally devoted to me imediately. All of the cats I've ever owned have been devoted to me, in a very neurotic and catly way. This dog was different. She was a dog and devoted in a very DOG way. Ugh, how undignified. It was cute and flattering at first but annoying before long. She would sit right next to me, follow me everywhere and stare at me with big insecure codependant obsessive devoted dog eyes. Very unnerving. My cat didn't like the dog being so persistent in her begging for attention. Sunshine, who happens to be the nicest cat in the entire world, would rub up against the dog to get her trust then smack the crap out of her. Because I'm basically evil, I found this mildly amuseing. The dog was a huge wuss and lived in fear of anything.
Oh damn, I need to go for now... I'll finish this later...
Counting The Days...
I haven't gushed about XXX recently. *sigh*
I'm counting the days until I see XXX. Another short vacation is sheduled. He's all I can think of these days. Damn he's sexy. It's been too damn long since I saw him - been making BOB work overtime. Three nights and two days with my sweetie, I can't wait.
I haven't gushed about XXX recently. *sigh*
I'm counting the days until I see XXX. Another short vacation is sheduled. He's all I can think of these days. Damn he's sexy. It's been too damn long since I saw him - been making BOB work overtime. Three nights and two days with my sweetie, I can't wait.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Bachelor Party - Part II
2 am . We had a great time. Well I had a great time, I think everyone else did – no one looked pissed at me for bitching to leave the titty bar, and no one tried to push me into oncoming traffic.
Then as if the universal powers that be wanted to make sure my night was complete, I got confirmation that I was looking good. We were walking by a line of people that were waiting to get into a club and one of the men said “Damn bitch, you look HOT!” I had to stop and thank him and give him the obligatory kiss and hug. Ahh someone thought I looked hot… a GAY man. Yeah, the story of my life. Maybe if I stopped dressing for gay men and trolling in gay bars I’d have better luck with STRAIGHT men. Of course NO one from my group was behind me when that happened, so they all probably think I was dreaming. Again, story of my life – when someone thinks I’m hot, there are NO witnesses! Damn it.
We arrived at The Rose Room, after paying cover (thanks Petey!) and getting a nifty hand stamp that said HOT-E! (Which I HAD to grab and stamp on my boobie – no I wasn’t drunk) we ventured into the bar. The bar is narrow so it doesn’t have a dance floor or anything like that. The drag queens would walk up and down the bar doing their show, which worked, but not great. We ended up sitting at the back of the bar for a while and it virtually impossible to see the show at points. But I’m getting ahead of myself, when we sat down The Bear and I wanted drinks so I got up to get them and the very prissy waiter magically appeared and took our order, so I sat back down. One of the performers – I think it was Layla La Rue, but don’t quote me on that – was warming up the crowd between sets. She got back to our group and said “A group of straight people, who all is straight?” to which I raised my hand but most of our group didn’t. She started pointing to people saying “Your straight right? Why didn’t you raise your hand?” made me laugh, I guess part of our group was either confused about their sexuality (K, have a talk with them will you?) or embarrassed at being STRAIGHT in a GAY bar. Heh. I guess they might have been just fucking dreading being in a gay bar but were there just to humor bitchy, bitchy me… nah… they love me. Heh. Layla then said “You must know someone gay. A friend, a relative…” to which I raised my hand and loudly stated “My husband is gay!” She stopped and looked at me “What did you say?!” “My husband is gay!” She asked if I was for real, then asked my name and said she had to interview me and pulled me up to the stage area. She wanted to know how I found out that K was gay, I told her I outed him and she wanted to know what three things gave him away. So here are the three WARNING signs of a GAY husband.
- Seemed to only want sex in the dark (I guess it was easier to fantasize about men when my fabulous nipples weren’t in his face).
- (I really couldn’t think of another thing but I was trying to be funny) He’s always trying to dress better than me.
Then as if the universal powers that be wanted to make sure my night was complete, I got confirmation that I was looking good. We were walking by a line of people that were waiting to get into a club and one of the men said “Damn bitch, you look HOT!” I had to stop and thank him and give him the obligatory kiss and hug. Ahh someone thought I looked hot… a GAY man. Yeah, the story of my life. Maybe if I stopped dressing for gay men and trolling in gay bars I’d have better luck with STRAIGHT men. Of course NO one from my group was behind me when that happened, so they all probably think I was dreaming. Again, story of my life – when someone thinks I’m hot, there are NO witnesses! Damn it.
All in all it was a good night. Had a man buy me a drink and one tell me I looked hot – granted BOTH were GAY! I am the ultimate Fag Hag.
Birthday Wishes
In just mere weeks I will turn 33. I'm very excited about this. It's almost my BIRTHDAY! I'm doing this as a public service to all of you so that no one is left out on the gift giving opportunity to shower me with love ... and pressies, don't forget the pressies.
And to make it easy for everyone to shop for me, I've created a list.
I've decided that this year is going to be a great year - and so far it has been - nothing like being absolutly crazy about someone (XXX) to make things great. So I guess the only thing I really do want is time, more time, I never seem to have enough time for just about anything. Just time... And a Chia Pet, don't forget the Chia Pet.
In just mere weeks I will turn 33. I'm very excited about this. It's almost my BIRTHDAY! I'm doing this as a public service to all of you so that no one is left out on the gift giving opportunity to shower me with love ... and pressies, don't forget the pressies.
And to make it easy for everyone to shop for me, I've created a list.
- This lovely bracelet. It's a bargain at a mere $49,000.
- Of course if you get me that lovely bracelet, I'll need these earrings to go with it.
- I'll need a new handbag, nothing extravagant, just this little thing.
- Perfume, definitly perfume.
- Shoes - oh yes I do love shoes.
- A car, cars are always good.
- A vacation.
- Maid service.
- A Chia Pet!
- Botox! Nothing says love like needless and expensive cosmetic procedures!
I've decided that this year is going to be a great year - and so far it has been - nothing like being absolutly crazy about someone (XXX) to make things great. So I guess the only thing I really do want is time, more time, I never seem to have enough time for just about anything. Just time... And a Chia Pet, don't forget the Chia Pet.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Talk About Devotion
I love this story about a bird that flew back to it's mate after being relocated. *sigh* That's so sweet.
I love this story about a bird that flew back to it's mate after being relocated. *sigh* That's so sweet.
More...
Bill went through the surgery well today.
8:30 pm we received a call from the hospital stating Bill was headed back to surgery as he was still bleeding, they said he is stable but they want to make sure everything is okay and see if they can get the bleeding under control.
Thanks to everyone who has kept Bill in their prayers/thoughts/voodoo chants/incantations and rattled goat bones for healing and recovery. Please don't stop now.
Bill went through the surgery well today.
8:30 pm we received a call from the hospital stating Bill was headed back to surgery as he was still bleeding, they said he is stable but they want to make sure everything is okay and see if they can get the bleeding under control.
Thanks to everyone who has kept Bill in their prayers/thoughts/voodoo chants/incantations and rattled goat bones for healing and recovery. Please don't stop now.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Bachelor Party - Part I
Yesterday was an absolute blur of activity. I worked (as usual), rushed home to get Super Girl ready for the kiddy party she attended. Got K and the little people packed up so that I could take them over to K's boyfriends house after the party. The kiddy party was a lot of fun for Super Girl. K and Cabbage Patch had fun wandering the mall while the party went on. We all enjoyed pizza and cake after, then I carted them away.
By the time I was back home it was 9:30 pm. I called Petey to find out where/when/what on the bachelor party. I was expecting them to be at The Village Station or somewhere around there. Instead they were at Silver City Cabaret. Yippie, a titty bar. I get ready to go as there is still the promise of a Drag Show in the future.
Now every Fag Hag knows that you can't go to a drag show looking sloppy. This was the reason I had to head home to change clothes, fix my hair and touch up my make up. A red and white striped tee, denim shorts and white tennis shoes just wasn't going to cut it - the drag queens would have ripped me to shreds. A full wardrobe change, an incident with spilled sparkley stuff all over my hands and cleavage (got that cleaned up) and an anxiety attack over my hair and I was ready to roll.
I quickly made a large cup of coffee to take with me as I was getting tired. I arrived at the titty bar about 10:30 pm. Petey had already taken care of my cover charge so I just had to find them. It wasn't that difficult, they were at a group of tables near the main stage. I spotted Martin (the groom) getting a lap dance from a skanky (to me) dancer. He seemed to be enjoying it so what do I know? I sat by Petey as I was now his bitch since he paid my way in (damn it! He's always supposed to be MY bitch!). The novelty and intrigue of the new experience of being in a titty bar wore off soon as I peered around the place at all the really lame men sitting at tables. Titty bars are odd places, men don't go there to socialize so they sit there in groups staring at the bouncing titties trying to decide which dancer will get their money for the night and trying hard (heh, heh) to not look like they are aroused while in the company of their buddies. They sit there with the Lizard look, all higher brain function has shut off. Eh, deliver me titty bar hell please.
Petey and I entertained one another by talking about patrons at the establishment, discussing which dancers where not hot and why, me asking if this was ALL most bachlor parties consisted of and commiserating on how bored we were. It was starting to look like the bachelor party was going to continue at the titty bar until the bar closed and that was starting to irritate me. I was bored looking at girlie titties so I was ready to leave. When Lee and his wife got up to leave, I did also. I told Peter that I was going to go, I was tired of the titty bar - though it was mildy entertaining the first few lap dances that Martin and Angie got, I was really not interested anymore and that if there was no drag show in the future I was going to head home. He asked me to stay while he walked Lee and wife out and to ask the group what they wanted to do as it was up to them.
So in my usual delicate manner I ask if we were going to go to the drag show as I was bored with looking at bouncing titties. Everyone said that Petey was in charge so ask him. *sigh* When he returned I informed him that HE was in CHARGE and could make the decision. To my delight he promptly paid the tab so we could go.
We had missed the 11 pm drag show and as it was now midnight or so it wouldn't be long to wait for the 1 am show. The show had been moved from The Village Station to The Rose Room which is actually pretty small for a drag show. I had known about the show at The Rose Room for several years, I guess it used to be at The Village Station, who knew?
I love good drag. I love bad drag. I just love drag shows.
To be continued...
Next Episode -
The Three Warning Signs Of A Gay Husband
A Man Buys Me A Drink
And Learning That Bill Is A Queen
Stay tuned for more of
The Bachelor Party!
OK, that's all for tonight. I'm damn tired. I've been typing for 45 minutes. I still need more sleep. I'll write the rest later - maybe more photos.
(petey - is The Bear going to be ok with that photo being up? If not, I'll take it down. Let me know.)
Yesterday was an absolute blur of activity. I worked (as usual), rushed home to get Super Girl ready for the kiddy party she attended. Got K and the little people packed up so that I could take them over to K's boyfriends house after the party. The kiddy party was a lot of fun for Super Girl. K and Cabbage Patch had fun wandering the mall while the party went on. We all enjoyed pizza and cake after, then I carted them away.
By the time I was back home it was 9:30 pm. I called Petey to find out where/when/what on the bachelor party. I was expecting them to be at The Village Station or somewhere around there. Instead they were at Silver City Cabaret. Yippie, a titty bar. I get ready to go as there is still the promise of a Drag Show in the future.
Now every Fag Hag knows that you can't go to a drag show looking sloppy. This was the reason I had to head home to change clothes, fix my hair and touch up my make up. A red and white striped tee, denim shorts and white tennis shoes just wasn't going to cut it - the drag queens would have ripped me to shreds. A full wardrobe change, an incident with spilled sparkley stuff all over my hands and cleavage (got that cleaned up) and an anxiety attack over my hair and I was ready to roll.
I quickly made a large cup of coffee to take with me as I was getting tired. I arrived at the titty bar about 10:30 pm. Petey had already taken care of my cover charge so I just had to find them. It wasn't that difficult, they were at a group of tables near the main stage. I spotted Martin (the groom) getting a lap dance from a skanky (to me) dancer. He seemed to be enjoying it so what do I know? I sat by Petey as I was now his bitch since he paid my way in (damn it! He's always supposed to be MY bitch!). The novelty and intrigue of the new experience of being in a titty bar wore off soon as I peered around the place at all the really lame men sitting at tables. Titty bars are odd places, men don't go there to socialize so they sit there in groups staring at the bouncing titties trying to decide which dancer will get their money for the night and trying hard (heh, heh) to not look like they are aroused while in the company of their buddies. They sit there with the Lizard look, all higher brain function has shut off. Eh, deliver me titty bar hell please.
Petey and I entertained one another by talking about patrons at the establishment, discussing which dancers where not hot and why, me asking if this was ALL most bachlor parties consisted of and commiserating on how bored we were. It was starting to look like the bachelor party was going to continue at the titty bar until the bar closed and that was starting to irritate me. I was bored looking at girlie titties so I was ready to leave. When Lee and his wife got up to leave, I did also. I told Peter that I was going to go, I was tired of the titty bar - though it was mildy entertaining the first few lap dances that Martin and Angie got, I was really not interested anymore and that if there was no drag show in the future I was going to head home. He asked me to stay while he walked Lee and wife out and to ask the group what they wanted to do as it was up to them.
So in my usual delicate manner I ask if we were going to go to the drag show as I was bored with looking at bouncing titties. Everyone said that Petey was in charge so ask him. *sigh* When he returned I informed him that HE was in CHARGE and could make the decision. To my delight he promptly paid the tab so we could go.
We had missed the 11 pm drag show and as it was now midnight or so it wouldn't be long to wait for the 1 am show. The show had been moved from The Village Station to The Rose Room which is actually pretty small for a drag show. I had known about the show at The Rose Room for several years, I guess it used to be at The Village Station, who knew?
I love good drag. I love bad drag. I just love drag shows.
To be continued...
Next Episode -
The Three Warning Signs Of A Gay Husband
A Man Buys Me A Drink
And Learning That Bill Is A Queen
Stay tuned for more of
The Bachelor Party!
OK, that's all for tonight. I'm damn tired. I've been typing for 45 minutes. I still need more sleep. I'll write the rest later - maybe more photos.
(petey - is The Bear going to be ok with that photo being up? If not, I'll take it down. Let me know.)
Serious Update
K got home from the hospital about 7 am, Bill is doing ok, it's still very serious and he'll be in the hospital for a few days at least. More on all this later. Good thoughts/prayers/voodoo rituals/incantations/whatever still welcome and appreciated.
Oh yeah and send some Wake UP! vibes to me, I have to head off to work here soon on what little sleep I've had.
Comming Soon!
Update on the party last night (maybe even photos)!
K got home from the hospital about 7 am, Bill is doing ok, it's still very serious and he'll be in the hospital for a few days at least. More on all this later. Good thoughts/prayers/voodoo rituals/incantations/whatever still welcome and appreciated.
Oh yeah and send some Wake UP! vibes to me, I have to head off to work here soon on what little sleep I've had.
Comming Soon!
Update on the party last night (maybe even photos)!
Serious Stuff
This morning when I returned home a bit after 3 am I saw that there was a message. I checked my message and it was K's step mom letting us know that K's dad was headed to the hospital with a heart attack.
Bill is a good man, please keep him in your thoughts/prayers or whatever it is you do/have.
Thanks.
This morning when I returned home a bit after 3 am I saw that there was a message. I checked my message and it was K's step mom letting us know that K's dad was headed to the hospital with a heart attack.
Bill is a good man, please keep him in your thoughts/prayers or whatever it is you do/have.
Thanks.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
I Love That Spicy Meat!
That's the last thing Petey heard heard me say before his cell phone cut out. Suprisingly the conversation was not about XXX (let me tell you, I do love that spicy meat), but about food.
Planning to head out to a Bachelor/Bachelorette Party tonight. Petey is planning the party. heh. A trip to see a drag show is on the agenda - this promises to be a party to remember.
It's almost too bad that K is going to have to miss all the fun.
That's the last thing Petey heard heard me say before his cell phone cut out. Suprisingly the conversation was not about XXX (let me tell you, I do love that spicy meat), but about food.
Planning to head out to a Bachelor/Bachelorette Party tonight. Petey is planning the party. heh. A trip to see a drag show is on the agenda - this promises to be a party to remember.
It's almost too bad that K is going to have to miss all the fun.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Scary Feet! Scary Feet! Scary Feet!
Mine specifically. Yesterday after a shower I realized that my feet are absolutely fucking scary. And not just because of the horribly misshapen and bruised toenail on the left foot. I have awful calluses and I scar very easily. I heal lightening fast but guarantee a nice mark from just about anything. I have high arches so it’s hard to find shoes that fit perfectly. Something always rubs some part of my foot. This added to the fact that I scar so easily leaves my feet looking frightening. It takes almost nothing to make a callous or scar on me. Wearing new shoes one day – new pink patch on toe that will either become a callous or scar. Wearing old shoes I’ve worn a million times – add to callous already present on foot. No shoes – something will be dropped on foot to cause frighteningly disgusting bruise or cat will dash across naked feet with claws extended to cause horrible painful looking scar that will not fade for months on end. Think about new shoes – some part of foot will become irritated. My feet are scary. I could go on and on about this but I know it would bore you – I’m seriously self conscious about my feet, though I’d like a professional foot massage and pedicure I have always avoided such a thing as I fear what others think of my frightening calluses.
Anyway, I digress. I noticed my feet looked more atrocious than normal the other day. I also remembered two important things, I am attending a wedding on the 31st and plan to wear lovely black sandals and second I’m visiting XXX for a few days and don’t want to unintentionally permanently injure the man by my feet rubbing against him in the night. This called for action. I needed a good foot soak, pumice and some serious moisturizer.
As luck would have it I purchased a foot scrub and some serious foot moisturizer last week. While I bathed Cabbage Patch I sat on the edge of the tub and submerged my feet for a while. Now that my feet have been washed, sanded and moisturized I am wearing socks in the hopes of waking tomorrow to if not heavenly soft feet then at least normal looking non lethal feet.
Mine specifically. Yesterday after a shower I realized that my feet are absolutely fucking scary. And not just because of the horribly misshapen and bruised toenail on the left foot. I have awful calluses and I scar very easily. I heal lightening fast but guarantee a nice mark from just about anything. I have high arches so it’s hard to find shoes that fit perfectly. Something always rubs some part of my foot. This added to the fact that I scar so easily leaves my feet looking frightening. It takes almost nothing to make a callous or scar on me. Wearing new shoes one day – new pink patch on toe that will either become a callous or scar. Wearing old shoes I’ve worn a million times – add to callous already present on foot. No shoes – something will be dropped on foot to cause frighteningly disgusting bruise or cat will dash across naked feet with claws extended to cause horrible painful looking scar that will not fade for months on end. Think about new shoes – some part of foot will become irritated. My feet are scary. I could go on and on about this but I know it would bore you – I’m seriously self conscious about my feet, though I’d like a professional foot massage and pedicure I have always avoided such a thing as I fear what others think of my frightening calluses.
Anyway, I digress. I noticed my feet looked more atrocious than normal the other day. I also remembered two important things, I am attending a wedding on the 31st and plan to wear lovely black sandals and second I’m visiting XXX for a few days and don’t want to unintentionally permanently injure the man by my feet rubbing against him in the night. This called for action. I needed a good foot soak, pumice and some serious moisturizer.
As luck would have it I purchased a foot scrub and some serious foot moisturizer last week. While I bathed Cabbage Patch I sat on the edge of the tub and submerged my feet for a while. Now that my feet have been washed, sanded and moisturized I am wearing socks in the hopes of waking tomorrow to if not heavenly soft feet then at least normal looking non lethal feet.
Movie Night
(or Cabbage Patch Trauma Night)
K is out tonight with his boyfriend. I thought it would be a lovely idea to take the little people to a movie. I figured we could catch the last matinee of Shrek 2 before we came home to make dinner. It was kind of a last minute thing that was decided during a phone conversation with K a little after4 pm . The last matinee was at 4:45 pm so I cleaned up the kids and myself quickly then out the door we go.
We were barely out the door before Cabbage Patch starts WHINING. She has this LOVELY habit of whining whenever she has to walk anywhere. Usually she reserves it for the walk home but occasionally (like tonight) I get a special treat of whining on the way to our destination as well as the way home. Since Cabbage Patch just turned 3 she still falls a lot when she walks or runs or stands. Super Girl was much worse about the falling, her poor little knees and shins were constantly covered in scrapes and scabs. At 5 she seems to have outgrown that for the most part. Now it’s Cabbage Patch’s turn. The other day as we were walking across the parking lot to get into the car she falls and scrapes her knee. She’s fine. It makes a nasty looking scrape that gets an ugly scab on it, but she’s fine otherwise.
Tonight as we stepped foot in the parking lot of the movie theater she falls. On that knee. And bloodies it. Not just a little drop of blood or even a little trickle, but a freaking faucet of blood down her tiny little leg. I wipe the blood off her leg in hopes that the one river down her leg would be it, but I was wrong. I wipe about 4 streams off her leg before it starts to slow a bit. As I had nothing to wipe my hand on, I wiped it on the cement (I was careful not to touch her boo-boo with my now dirty hand from that point on).
We walk around the building to buy tickets and as we are standing in line I see a slow stream of blood has reached the front edge of her shoe. Sigh I get the tickets and we stand in line to get popcorn. I grab napkins to clean her leg up as we wait then put a piece of napkin over her bloody boo-boo to keep it somewhat protected.
Fast forward to after the movie and back home (yes she did whine all the way home). I discover that some Tiny Terrorist have absconded with the first aid kit. After some threats Super Girl locates the kit which now only holds three band aids and some empty wrappers (she’s off to bed early because of that). Grrr…
I get the peroxide to clean Cabbage Patch’s boo-boo as I now realize that the napkin was a bad choice of items to put on her boo-boo since I now have to somehow get it off and not further traumatize her. A few capfuls of peroxide later I decide a nice bath will work better as she’s starting to get a petrified look on her face. The bath is non-traumatic and enjoyable for her. She’s got a band-aid and Neosporin on her boo-boo (the one on her toe also – blister from her sandal) and she’s fallen asleep on the sofa while watching Wallace and Gromit. It’s so damn cute I may need insulin.
(or Cabbage Patch Trauma Night)
K is out tonight with his boyfriend. I thought it would be a lovely idea to take the little people to a movie. I figured we could catch the last matinee of Shrek 2 before we came home to make dinner. It was kind of a last minute thing that was decided during a phone conversation with K a little after
We were barely out the door before Cabbage Patch starts WHINING. She has this LOVELY habit of whining whenever she has to walk anywhere. Usually she reserves it for the walk home but occasionally (like tonight) I get a special treat of whining on the way to our destination as well as the way home. Since Cabbage Patch just turned 3 she still falls a lot when she walks or runs or stands. Super Girl was much worse about the falling, her poor little knees and shins were constantly covered in scrapes and scabs. At 5 she seems to have outgrown that for the most part. Now it’s Cabbage Patch’s turn. The other day as we were walking across the parking lot to get into the car she falls and scrapes her knee. She’s fine. It makes a nasty looking scrape that gets an ugly scab on it, but she’s fine otherwise.
Tonight as we stepped foot in the parking lot of the movie theater she falls. On that knee. And bloodies it. Not just a little drop of blood or even a little trickle, but a freaking faucet of blood down her tiny little leg. I wipe the blood off her leg in hopes that the one river down her leg would be it, but I was wrong. I wipe about 4 streams off her leg before it starts to slow a bit. As I had nothing to wipe my hand on, I wiped it on the cement (I was careful not to touch her boo-boo with my now dirty hand from that point on).
We walk around the building to buy tickets and as we are standing in line I see a slow stream of blood has reached the front edge of her shoe. Sigh I get the tickets and we stand in line to get popcorn. I grab napkins to clean her leg up as we wait then put a piece of napkin over her bloody boo-boo to keep it somewhat protected.
Fast forward to after the movie and back home (yes she did whine all the way home). I discover that some Tiny Terrorist have absconded with the first aid kit. After some threats Super Girl locates the kit which now only holds three band aids and some empty wrappers (she’s off to bed early because of that). Grrr…
I get the peroxide to clean Cabbage Patch’s boo-boo as I now realize that the napkin was a bad choice of items to put on her boo-boo since I now have to somehow get it off and not further traumatize her. A few capfuls of peroxide later I decide a nice bath will work better as she’s starting to get a petrified look on her face. The bath is non-traumatic and enjoyable for her. She’s got a band-aid and Neosporin on her boo-boo (the one on her toe also – blister from her sandal) and she’s fallen asleep on the sofa while watching Wallace and Gromit. It’s so damn cute I may need insulin.
Sew Frustrating
Back in April I purchased a new sewing machine. A Brother LS-2125. I got it at a really good price as it was a new model being carried by my Wally-World and they hadn't put the new pricing on it yet so it was $10 less than what it is normally priced. I did not purchase anything else for the sewing machine at the time. I figured I had everything I needed. I already had 2 other machines at home (my antique one that was my great grandmothers and one I purchased 5 years ago but needs servicing) and had two different kinds of bobbins - plastic ones (which the LS-2125 uses) and metal ones. The machine came with three empty bobbins so I didn't need to seek out new bobbins until recently when I was sewing for Super Girl. I grabbed some bobbins from my stash and started sewing only to discover that after a short period of sewing the bobbin thread would tangle. Frustrating. This is the first time I realized there were more variety of bobbins than just plastic or metal (and I've been sewing since I was 9!!!).
We head to Wally-World with sewing machine manual in hand to procure bobbins. I break out in a nervous sweat trying to figure out what I needed - I can't make heads or tales of the manual. K chooses what he thinks is the right bobbins. We head home. Wrong bobbins. Last night another trip to Wally-World, return previously purchased bobbins, look for correct bobbins - this time with model # of machine written on front of manual. Can't find any that say they will work in my machine. Leave empty handed (bobbin wise anyway).
At home I look up the Brother page and fer fucks sake they don't have my model of sewing machine on their page! What the hell??? I start to wonder if maybe they don't make this machine anymore - it would be just my luck to have purchased the last of a discontinued model that's destined to blow up any day now. I do a search for my model of sewing machine on the internet and I can find it at several different places that sell sewing machines. I search for bobbins for my model machine - in the search I discover that there are no less than 6 different styles of plastic bobbins. YIKES! After much searching I discover what the correct bobbin is that I need. I don’t' know if I can find it locally but if not I know of a place I can order them from. In bulk even. I can order 500 of them if I want! 500! HAH!
Back in April I purchased a new sewing machine. A Brother LS-2125. I got it at a really good price as it was a new model being carried by my Wally-World and they hadn't put the new pricing on it yet so it was $10 less than what it is normally priced. I did not purchase anything else for the sewing machine at the time. I figured I had everything I needed. I already had 2 other machines at home (my antique one that was my great grandmothers and one I purchased 5 years ago but needs servicing) and had two different kinds of bobbins - plastic ones (which the LS-2125 uses) and metal ones. The machine came with three empty bobbins so I didn't need to seek out new bobbins until recently when I was sewing for Super Girl. I grabbed some bobbins from my stash and started sewing only to discover that after a short period of sewing the bobbin thread would tangle. Frustrating. This is the first time I realized there were more variety of bobbins than just plastic or metal (and I've been sewing since I was 9!!!).
We head to Wally-World with sewing machine manual in hand to procure bobbins. I break out in a nervous sweat trying to figure out what I needed - I can't make heads or tales of the manual. K chooses what he thinks is the right bobbins. We head home. Wrong bobbins. Last night another trip to Wally-World, return previously purchased bobbins, look for correct bobbins - this time with model # of machine written on front of manual. Can't find any that say they will work in my machine. Leave empty handed (bobbin wise anyway).
At home I look up the Brother page and fer fucks sake they don't have my model of sewing machine on their page! What the hell??? I start to wonder if maybe they don't make this machine anymore - it would be just my luck to have purchased the last of a discontinued model that's destined to blow up any day now. I do a search for my model of sewing machine on the internet and I can find it at several different places that sell sewing machines. I search for bobbins for my model machine - in the search I discover that there are no less than 6 different styles of plastic bobbins. YIKES! After much searching I discover what the correct bobbin is that I need. I don’t' know if I can find it locally but if not I know of a place I can order them from. In bulk even. I can order 500 of them if I want! 500! HAH!
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Got Your Nose!
I think everyone has either witnessed that game being played or played that game with a toddler. I know I have. Tonight after discovering the dinner we had procured at the store would take at least 70 minutes to cook in our conventional oven we took a trip to our neighborhood Culver's to have a tasty and ever so non nutritional meal. When we arrived Cabbage Patched pleaded with me to pick her up and put her on the counter. As I stood there peering at the menu Cabbage Patch starts playing 'Got Your Nose!' with me, but not with my nose. She says (rather loudly) "I got your boobies!" And grabs my boobs. I looked at her in shock as she did it again, then I grabbed her little hands before she could do it a third time and said "Let's not play that now." I looked up in time to see the teenaged boy cashier grinning and stifling a laugh.
I think everyone has either witnessed that game being played or played that game with a toddler. I know I have. Tonight after discovering the dinner we had procured at the store would take at least 70 minutes to cook in our conventional oven we took a trip to our neighborhood Culver's to have a tasty and ever so non nutritional meal. When we arrived Cabbage Patched pleaded with me to pick her up and put her on the counter. As I stood there peering at the menu Cabbage Patch starts playing 'Got Your Nose!' with me, but not with my nose. She says (rather loudly) "I got your boobies!" And grabs my boobs. I looked at her in shock as she did it again, then I grabbed her little hands before she could do it a third time and said "Let's not play that now." I looked up in time to see the teenaged boy cashier grinning and stifling a laugh.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Microwoes Part II
Tonight a cooked a lovely dinner of roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, steamed cabbage and salad. The roast was perfectly cooked at 6 pm. My timing was off for dinner as I had forgotten that in order to cook the veggies I would have to actually cook them and not use the microwave as it is still broken. *sigh* I didn't remember this fact until the roast was out of the oven. I usually put things in my nice microwave cooking dishes and things are done in 6 minutes or less. Tonight I had to dig around for scarcely used sauce pans to cook in. I did at least remember to make the gravy last so that it wasn't all cold and coagulated by the time everything else was ready.
How on earth did my grandparents cook??? Someone PLEASE fix my microwave!
Tonight a cooked a lovely dinner of roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, steamed cabbage and salad. The roast was perfectly cooked at 6 pm. My timing was off for dinner as I had forgotten that in order to cook the veggies I would have to actually cook them and not use the microwave as it is still broken. *sigh* I didn't remember this fact until the roast was out of the oven. I usually put things in my nice microwave cooking dishes and things are done in 6 minutes or less. Tonight I had to dig around for scarcely used sauce pans to cook in. I did at least remember to make the gravy last so that it wasn't all cold and coagulated by the time everything else was ready.
How on earth did my grandparents cook??? Someone PLEASE fix my microwave!
I Could Not Have Said It Better
I just read this off Meegan's blog. *sigh* that's the most amazing feeling in the world.
I just read this off Meegan's blog. *sigh* that's the most amazing feeling in the world.
Psycho Link
Discussion over ice cream:
Me: We need to get a birthday gift for Gracie and a birthday gift for Josh and a wedding present for Martin & Angie.
K: Hmmm
Me: Well I'm going to get a book for Gracie. I'm going to get a book for Josh also.
K: OK
Me: And we can get a book for Martin and Angie as well...
K: We'll get them AD&D books!
Me: HAHAHAHA! That's what I was going to say!
K: See our psychotic link is still working, we are still connected.
Me: Stop thinking of show tunes!!!! Aaaaaahhhh! It burns!
K: (laughing to hard to make words)
Me: Make it stop!
Microwoes
There is yet another reason life sucks without a microwave. This morning I was very tired. VERY. In the middle of the night I had taken some allergy medicine for an unsightly rash that was invading my neck and chest area so I woke rather groggy. I wanted COFFEE this morning. Hell I NEEDED COFFEE this morning. I dared not attempt to make coffee in my diminished state of consciousness as I was quite certain I would surely cause myself grave harm. Now if my traitor microwave had been working I would not have had to worry about serious injury, I would have had coffee.
More kvetching... I returned home from working on Saturday and as usual K had taken the Little People out for pizza. Pizza Inn pizza I believe. They brought home left over pizza and cheese sticks. Usually I do like to partake in pizza after a long day (without lunch); I'm not a huge fan of Pizza Inn pizza though. A quick warming in the microwave makes it somewhat edible. Well I couldn't warm it. It was VILE. Two bites of cold Pizza Inn pizza was all I could handle, I thought I would barf it was that gross. So I ate the cheese sticks. Cold. Cold and cheese stick should not go together. They were at least not VILE.
Ugh. I need my microwave fixed!!!
There is yet another reason life sucks without a microwave. This morning I was very tired. VERY. In the middle of the night I had taken some allergy medicine for an unsightly rash that was invading my neck and chest area so I woke rather groggy. I wanted COFFEE this morning. Hell I NEEDED COFFEE this morning. I dared not attempt to make coffee in my diminished state of consciousness as I was quite certain I would surely cause myself grave harm. Now if my traitor microwave had been working I would not have had to worry about serious injury, I would have had coffee.
More kvetching... I returned home from working on Saturday and as usual K had taken the Little People out for pizza. Pizza Inn pizza I believe. They brought home left over pizza and cheese sticks. Usually I do like to partake in pizza after a long day (without lunch); I'm not a huge fan of Pizza Inn pizza though. A quick warming in the microwave makes it somewhat edible. Well I couldn't warm it. It was VILE. Two bites of cold Pizza Inn pizza was all I could handle, I thought I would barf it was that gross. So I ate the cheese sticks. Cold. Cold and cheese stick should not go together. They were at least not VILE.
Ugh. I need my microwave fixed!!!
Gay Boyfriend
I'm laughing. Go see that and laugh too. I guess I got the ultimate in Gay Boyfriend - I have Gay Husband. heh.
I'm laughing. Go see that and laugh too. I guess I got the ultimate in Gay Boyfriend - I have Gay Husband. heh.
Word For The Day
Paula gave a complicated and mendacious account of why her grandmother's account was short. She obviously isn't very smart to be using the account for shopping since grandmother is in a nursing home!
mendacious \men-DAY-shus\ adjective
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Paula gave a complicated and mendacious account of why her grandmother's account was short. She obviously isn't very smart to be using the account for shopping since grandmother is in a nursing home!
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