Project

I'm almost finished with my Project. I've got PMS. I'm very tired but I can't sleep much. I wish I had a giant sized chocolate malt, but I'm glad I don't. I hate my cat.

Does that all make sense? No... Maybe... It should, they all tie in. Let me explain (not that you realy care, but you obviously are wasteing time so why not catch the explanation).

I'm nearly finish with a Project. I'm late finishing this Project. That makes me crazy and sleepless. I hate missing deadlines (even ones that are self imposed). I'm sleepy now, but I MUST finish this Project. I am so close to being done with this. I have to stop though, take a break and so I can refocus and not just fuck it up (as I have already done SEVERAL times). I'm anxious to get it finished though which makes me fidgetty. *sigh*

I have PMS, which is not really fair since I take the Depo Provera shot and I don't have all that messy monthy stuff going on anymore, I shouldn't have to deal with PMS. Although having PMS makes me absolutly obsessed with this Project. Having PMS while having a Project to finish is almost perfect... except PMS makes me sleepy. But I can't sleep because I'm obsesses with this Project.

I wish I had a giant sized chocolate malt. You just read the paragraph above this one, do I really have to explain that one? I'm glad I don't because I'm dieting and if I DID have a giant sized chocolate malt I would feel compelled... no, obligated to finish it even if I didn't want more than just a couple of sips. But who the hell am I kidding? I'd want the whole fucking thing! Thanks to the powers that be that I don't have one... Fuck them because I WANT one!!!

I hate my cat. She's neurotic. She's obsessive. She's an irritant. Hey, sounds like I just described myself! Anyway, she likes to sleep in my bedroom at night, I can't stop her, she can open my door. She likes to get on my pillows somewhere between 3-5 am and stare at me. She purrs really loudly and will lick my face. She's very persistent and will keep this up until I get out of bed at 6:30 am. She interupts my sleep. Fucking cat.

Must go, have obsessing to do, Project to finish and a fucking cat to kick.

More Letters I Wrote In My Head
Or - More Proof Of My Insanity

Dear Barbie,

Enough already. I'm tired of walking into my bathroom and seeing all of you in my bath tub having a little party. Just yesterday there were no less than 10 of you in the tub! 10! That's a little extreme!

I understand you've been through a difficult time what with your break up with Fairy Boy, I mean Ken, but that's no excuse for the endless naked lesbian orgies going on in my bath tub. The party stops now. Get into rehab, get some counseling. Just get out of my bath tub you plastic whore!

Warmest Regards,
Judy

Dear Youngest Of My Offspring;

I somehow feel somewhat responsible for your obvious brain damage. Jumping on my bed while singing '10 Little Monkies Jumping On The Bed' is proof of your impaired mental facilities. You've fallen off the bed and whacked your hed on the dresser yet you continue to use my bed as a trampoline while singing that insane song and ignoring my constant drone of 'Stop jumping on my bed! Get off my bed!'. (I blame the selective hearing on your father's genetic contribution to you.)

I love you anyway, you bizarre little person.

Love,
Mom

Dear Oldest Progeny;

I must appologize for last night when I told you that Angry Albino Sock Monkey was actually your twin sister who has been kept in a cage in a lab until just recently. I honestly expected you to call me on that one, but you didn't. I was enjoying the fact that you were seriously considering the possibility as true so I just couldn't tell you the truth. (Please, please tell your teacher of your Evil Twin - I'd love to get that call from school.) You're generally a skeptical child so I was taken off guard by your sudden gullible moment, must be a recessive gene from your father's side - not that he's gullible, but your uncles could get a special parking space if they measured gullibility as a handicap.

For now, I will cherish the days that you believe you have an Evil Twin.

Love,
Mom

Political Bull

Last night shortly before heading to bed I read this article titled Bush Policies Bad for Kids, Child Experts Say. Being a parent I was keenly interested in this topic.

I was appaled and shocked by this one statement "Under President Bush (news - web sites)'s leadership, ... more children than ever have health insurance through SCHIP...". That's utter bullshit. The SCHIP (State Child Health Insurance Program) has dropped thousands and thousands of children this year alone. This article written in August 2004 discusses the issues of cost cutting changes in the Texas SCHIP program and how it is affecting people. Dental and vision have been cut out of the program. Mental health benefits have been slashed as well.

The saddest statement in this article is "One of the most distressing things about what's happened with our program is that virtually all of the decline in enrollment of SCHIP children in Texas has been among the lowest-income families," - read that again - decline in enrollment amont the LOWEST-INCOME families. Maybe I'm confused, but wasn't SCHIP developed to help the lowest-income families?

SCHIP cuts = Less children getting basic health care. Which means that more people will be bringing children to the emergency room with acute medical issues. That means more cost that gets passed along to the tax payer. Higher taxes or inaequately funded hospitals.

A scary thing to look at is this table with comments about each state's SCHIP plan.

One study says that 8.5 million low-income children go withough health insurance. Sad, sad, sad.

I'll be considering this issue when I go to vote this November.

Busy Day

Because I have a project that I must get finished (meaning I must get off my ass and get it done now), today I shall fill this little spot with something silly. A quiz. Don't roll your eyes.


YOU ARE MOLY


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I've never even heard of that herb.

Valium Please?

This morning has been crazier than I had anticipated. I knew it would be crazy as it is MY life, but I didn't expect it to be like THIS.

Super Girl was whiney and slow this morning (which is a switch, usually it's Cabbage Patch who is being The Baddger) and ended up missing the bus. I sent her to her room for a bit as I was a little on the pissed side. I went to scrub the health hazard of a kitchen... ok a bit of an exageration, but it was very nasty - the dishes were done but the counters hadn't been wiped and the floor was in desperate need of sterilization.

A very repentant Super Girl came down from her room while I was scrubbing, I explained that I was not happy that she had missed the bus as it is very important that she go to school every day and that it is her responsibility to get ready on time, that I still loved her even when I'm angry with her and I wouldn't be angry all day. She nodded her head and smiled a bit. I briefly felt like a big ogre when I looked at her little tear streaked and pouty face, but reminded myself that she has to learn to be responsible. It's all about responsibility and being able to be acountable. I'm very proud of her as she really is very good about being responsible and accountable since school has started.

Other Stuff

I was going to write a post about my weekend with He For Who The Sun Doth Shine (XXX) but realized that it would either appear as bragging or just outright porn. *sigh* ahhhh... It was a wonderful weekend.

I am The Sun In the tarot the Sun symbolizes vitality and splendor. The Sun is definitely not a meek and retiring card. You have total confidence in yourself. You are not cocky, but profoundly sure of your power. You have unlimited energy and glow with health. You have a greatness about you and stand out brilliantly. Finally, you see and understand all that is happening within your sphere. When you see this card, know that you will be successful at all you undertake. Now is the time to let your light shine. For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate. Month: Day: Year:

RIP B.O.B
(Battery Operated Boyfriend)

I'm not sure if I mentioned this but a dear memeber of my family passed on recently. B.O.B has been a faithful and loyal companion for the past several years. B.O.B's passing was unexpected and nothing I could do would coax him back to life. I was left with the dificult task of... finding a replacement B.O.B.

XXX kindly helped in the research of a replacement B.O.B. We discussed what qualities I was looking for in a B.O.B and did extensive online research while considering the miltiple options and qualifications the replacement B.O.B would have to posses.

After a brief (and frustrating) mourning period I decided it was time to take the plunge and find the pefect replacement B.O.B. Time to turn to e-bay.

I searched in the appropriate section for a couple of hours and consulted with XXX on his opinion. I had decided that I needed a replacement B.O.B not unlike the original B.O.B but maybe with some extras (speed control would be nice) as well as an extra toy for extra fun. I found a pack with B.O.B, several sleeves for B.O.B, a vibrating egg and two cock rings. The price was reasonable so I bid. I also bid on a vibrating Magic Bullet (water proof) as well as another vibrating egg. I won all my auctions.

ENTER NEW B.O.B

As mentioned last Friday I took a spontanious trip to see XXX. My items arrived Friday morning and after an inspection to make sure everything was there and working, the brand new package of goodies got packed away in my luggage. I forgot many things on this trip, but I did not forget the party favors. ;o)

SEX TOY REVIEW

XXX selfelessly helped me in the testing process of the products. I appreciate his giving of his time for this endevor of mine.

NEW B.O.B. Looks much like old B.O.B. except maybe a tad bit longer (maybe half an inch longer) and it has speed control on the bottom - it's a dial. It goes from a soft wiggle to a nice firm vibration (yeah baby!). The sleeves (tested solo) - most were not so good. The ones I liked in order of which I liked best - the studded one rocked!, the G-Spot one was more effective than I had imagined, the Penis shaped sleeve was nice. I didn't try the anal sleeves or the French tickler sleeve - I really wasn't sure what that one was, it kind of resembled something vaguely squidlike and scary.

COCK RINGS were tested by XXX with my help. One was a rubbery material with a 'quick release button'. We messed with that one for a bit and tried to figure out how exactly to work the release button (damn these types of items that don't come with directions!!), it seemed to work opposite of how one would expect it to also the 'quick release' wasn't quite so quick and proved to be a bit pinchy so it was quickly tossed aside. The other cock ring looked like some kind of torture device. It did however have a vibrating egg (that plugged into the egg power pack) encased in it. The little flange thingies around the ring part were not as soft as one would expect from something designed to do what what it does so this cock ring also was relegated to the 'maybe some other time' pile.

VIBRATING EGG was a winner!! Woohoo! Bells and whistles! Jackpot! Winner!!! Oh... Sorry... I digress... I had tried this before and LOVED it. This one did not disapoint. XXX even gave it a *ahem* thumbs up.

MAGIC BULLET was nice and wireless (which the egg is not) and it's waterproof (also the egg is not). It doesn't have the POWER of the egg but it does have a nice gentle buzz. Not the most fabulous thing in the bunch, but it's not bad and it's perfect for whenever one might want to take a 'nice long hot bath'.

SUMMARY
The pack was well worth the money. Everything cost about the price of buying a good simple B.O.B with no attachments from Good Vibrations . It was way too much fun experimenting with the toys and it added to the already fabulous sex with XXX. Ahhhhhhhh...

Everyone should have sex toys.

Poop Talk

While I was away this conversation happened between K and the Little People:

K: (*to Cabbage Patch) Do you have to go to the potty?
CP: No
*pause*
CP: Super Girl poopy.
SG: NO I'M NOT!
CP: Super Girl poopy.
SG: NO I'M NOT!!!!
K: No she's not, now stop that.
CP: Uh-huh, Super Girl poopy.
SG: I'M NOT POOPY! SEE!!! *standing up, pulling her shorts down and point her butt at K and CP* SEE!!
K: Ugghhh... *rolling eyes up in head*

Brief Update

Having a fabulous time with XXX. We did manage to pry ourselves from the bed, get dressed, see a movie and have a delightful dinner. Currently XXX had to go into work for a couple of hours (hopefully), so I figured now would be a perfect time to post.

MOVIE RIVIEW

Shaun Of The Dead

I LOVE THIS MOVIE! I love zombie movies. I've seen a lot of zombie movies and I have to say that THIS is now my favorite movie. I laughed my ass off. I screamed a couple of times. I'm not going to tell about the plot of the movie - it's kind of the typical zombie movie plot, but it's a comedy too. If you like zombies and like dark humor, then you'll love this movie.

Funny Conversation

*Talking about taking a trip to Mexico, THEY say they are going to get some perscription drugs.

ME: What are you going to get?
THEM: I don't know, but Barri is bugging me to get some Valium for her.
ME: What does she want Valium for?
THEM: She likes to fly on it.
ME: Yeah, that'll make you fly.

Forcast For Fun

I'm going to visit XXX this weekend. *sigh* I'm excited. I leave in a couple of hours. It's a spur of the moment decision to head off to XXX.

This is funny - my horroscope for today:

Dear Judy,

Here is your forecast for Friday Sep 24, 2004.

Personal forecast
Going someplace, or seeing someone, out of the ordinary makes this period special. This is a time during the month you are more likely to do something on a whim or without a plan. You enjoy being different and being surprised; it keeps life fresh. If you need a break from the daily grind, it is easier to free yourself from your usual patterns.

*sigh* Looks like a good weekend.

Krabby Patties



Last night I made Spicy Tuna Cakes for dinner. I didn't expect the Little People to eat them. Being my immature offspring they tend to be exceedingly picky in their food choices - I hate to admit it but the picky gene must have come from me as I tend to be exceedingly picky. This would not be an issue if the things she was picky about were to correspond with the food items I refuse to eat, but alas that is not to be, a constant struggle regarding food will continue until her adulthood I predict. At the sight of the cans of tuna Super Girl proclaimed whatever I made would be inedible to her and wrinkled up her little nose. Being the clever mom type person that I am I asked her to help me prepare the Krabby Patties. At the mere mention of Krabby Patties she became more open to the idea that this meal might not taste like ass to her.

After mixing all the ingredients and watching the Krabby Patties cook, Super Girl was more than eager to taste said Krabby Patty. She loved them. So much so that her very ill father almost didn't get dinner from him taking so long to come down the damn stairs and eat dinner. I had set aside three of the patties for him and there was only one left when he finally ventured down the stairs.

Score one for mom. When all else fails try to convince the offspring that dinner is not a disgusting nutricious meal but a delicious meal based on some stupid cartoon.

Poison Ivy
Or
Which would you prefer?

Even though I don't bat for that team I'd prefer the first Poison Ivy and not the second poison ivy that causes a nasty itchy rash. But I've already been in contact with the second poison ivy. I have a lovely itchy rash on my face - both cheeks, a line above my lips and couple of spots on my lips. It doesn't look as bad as it could look, but it itches and stings intermitently.

How did I get poison ivy? Well it's a freaking mystery to me - I'm such a city girl, I don't know jack about 'The Great Outdoors'. I've never been camping and generally avoid walking through heavily wooded areas as that's where the creepy crawly things live - like SPIDERS! I did however take the Little People to the park for a picnic this past weekend. The Little People don't seem to have come in contact with it - which I guess is a good thing, but right now I think I'd rather feel sorry for my kids than have an itchy face. Yeah I know, all thoes Mommy Points I earned on the Tooth Fairy letter have just been lost (and more).

Well I need to go, gotta concentrate on NOT scratching. *sigh*

Financial Trouble For Twinkies

The makers of Twinkies have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. What does this mean for Twinkies??? Now I have this sad image of Twinkie The Kid panhandling on the street.

Name Your Boobies

Your Boobies' Names Are: Milk Shakes

Get your own Boobie Names

I like thoes names.

Your Drag Queen Name is: Felicia Fellatio

Get your own Drag Queen Name

Hmmm... somehow appropriate

Your Porn Star Name is: Nurse Naughty

Get your own Porn Star Name

Oh yeah!

Birthday Bulb

Today is the 96th 'birthday' of a light bulb that has been buring continiously at the North Fort Worth Historical Society. It just makes me wonder just exactly how much electricity has been wasted by not turning that damn bulb off!

Another Murder Attempt

Tonight K once again tried to kill me, actually he attempted murder suicide. From an errand to procure soy sauce, he brought back the decadent Death By Chocolate cake. The bastard, he knows my weakness for that which is derived from the cocoa bean, he knows that I would willingly join any cult which chose Death By Chocolate as their means of mass suicide/direct route to heaven/nirvana/space ship/etc.

Obviously this murder/suicide attempt did not work, the cake should be renamed Lame and Desperate Suicide/Attention Getting Attempt cake. It was good though, too good. I had a second piece. Bastard. I think 6 of my 7 lbs I lost in the past two weeks have returned just now.

Statement Of The Day

Me: Pull up your pants I can see your crack.
Her: Crack? What's crack?
Me: It's where your butt cheeks come together. Now pull up your pants.
Her: Butt cheeks? *grabbing her butt*
Me: *rolling eyes*

Spank That Monkey!

Oh shit, everyone needs to go Spank The Monkey! You will LOVE it. I was laughing hard smacking that monkey. (not a dirty sight but noisy) I feel better just smacking that monkey up.

*later*

Someone help me, I am enjoying spanking that monkey way to much!

I Want THIS!!




I know wanting this makes me a sick fuck but I still want it.

Losing It

Yup I've been losing it. Last week I lost 4.5 lbs. I guess this whole being in a funk is doing good for me. Maybe I'll just stay in it and then I'll loose more weight. But wait... having lost weight is making me.... happy... damn it. I'm kidding, I signed up for eDiets about 2 weeks ago and have lost about 7.5 lbs so far. I'm totally loving this - it's easy and CHEAP ($12 a month).

As far as my mood... it's improved some. I'm fine, don't worry.

I'm Captain Jack Sparrow



Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?


Arrrrgggh Matey! Yesterday was Talk Like A Pirate Day and I missed it. Damn. I might have made more sales if I'd have called the babies 'scurvy dogs' or little 'bilge rats'.

Arrrr! I'm off to do pirate things (well mom things).

XXX, Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!


You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

It's Captain and don't you forget it!

Tooth Smart

I scored some serious Mommy Points with the Tooth Fairy letter. Super Girl burst into my room this morning to let me know that the Tooth Fairy had been there and that she left a tooth brush! I read her the letter and she was sooooooooooo impressed. She said she needs to send Ms. Tooth Fairy a thank you note. :o) I guess I'm doing something right at this Mom thing. Now if only I could convince her that the Sleep In Fairy exists and wrote her letter saying to stay in bed past 8 am on non school mornings (like today). *Yawn*

Starbucks



I've DONE Starbucks now. I am Starbucks bitch now. Just kidding. I got a Starbucks gift card for my birthday and I've been dyeing to use it. Saturday after The Little People and I went to the movies (movie review to come tomorrow), I decided to take us to Starbucks. Cocoa for the Little People and some sort of lowfat Latte thing for me. I was a little uncertain about what to order. I had no clue what most of the things on the menu really were as there weren't any descriptions. I felt painfully uneducated (in coffee house etiquette) by having to ask what to order. Inadequacy and ordering coffee are a bad combo. I went with what the clerk suggested. The Little People and I shared a piece of iced chocolate pound cake (Satan's Decadent chocolate Addiction). It was good, I wasn't overly impressed with the sugar free hazelnut stuff added to my drink, but I still enjoyed it all. Enjoyed it enough to go back today.

K returned from his trip this evening, after a delightful dinner I insisted we stop by the conveniently located Starbucks for after-dinner coffee and more of Satan's Decadent Chocolate Addiction. Feeling brave and slightly more coffee hip I decided to go for the Caramel Macchiato (Foamed milk marked with espresso, vanilla and real caramel) with extra caramel. I went for a tall as opposed to a 'grande' today. It was quite good. I don't think it was the GREATEST COFFEE ON THE EARTH, but it was good. It's a little high in price for a cup of coffee so I doubt I'll be making Starbucks a frequent stop. Well, not after I use up the rest of my gift card that is. I have about $12 left - that will buy several pieces of Satan's Decadent Chocolate Addiction... mmmmmm... Come for the coffee, get hooked on the pastries.

Lost: One Tooth!

This morning my oldest offspring - Super Girl - lost a tooth. This is her third tooth loss! I helped her compose a letter to the Tooth Fairy. I also composed a letter from said Fairy that I will leave in the envelope with two shiny coins and a new tooth brush for her.

Her letter to the tooth fairy:
September 19, 2004

Ms. Tooth Fairy
101 Fantasy Street
Toothland

Dearest Ms. Fairy;

I lost a tooth this morning (my third tooth). Thank you for the copious amount of booty I received from you for my last tooth – it more than made up for the lack of visit for the first tooth I lost.

I am requesting a NEW tooth to replace the absent one as I now have a gap where it once was. I would also appreciate some small token in exchange for my valuable tooth. Two shiny coins should suffice – then I’ll be a RICH girl.

Please look for above mentioned tooth in the envelope that contained this message – I shall look there for the two shiny coins tomorrow morning.

I will have mom will leave her coffee pot set up so you can make a tasty cup of coffee to keep you going (don’t use all her Splenda – that will piss her off).

Much warmth,
Super Girl

and the response:

September 19, 2004

Super Girl
Some Street
In, Texas

My dearest sweet Super Girl;

Thank you dearly for your precious tooth. I can tell that you took very good care of your baby tooth. I am more than happy to make sure that you get a nice big tooth to replace your baby tooth. All I ask is that you take very good care of your tooth and brush it every morning and every night – flossing is a good idea as well.

Please accept these two shiny coins in exchange for your precious tooth. Also accept this brand new tooth brush as a reward for taking such good care of your teeth.

Thank you for the tasty cup of coffee (I didn’t use your mother’s Splenda, I prefer real sugar) it surely will keep me going through out the night (or at least until I can get to the Starbucks for a grande).

Wishing you much love and shiny teeth,

Ms. Tooth Fairy

I hope she likes all this effort!

Brain Damage

My progeny have brain damage. That's the ONLY explanation. Curently my youngest (Cabbage Patch), who happens to be pissed off at me for letting her sister use "HER" cup for juice, is rolling off the sofa every 5 or 10 minutes. She lays there for a few moments watching the new Power Puff Girl's DVD I procured from the Almighty WalMart then just rolls off the sofa. After plopping ungracefully to the floor she get's up and lays back down on the sofa. Brain damage. *sigh* and I thought I had managed to birth both offspring with little or no mental damage. There goes my Mother Of The Year nomination.

Later
Further proof of brain damage...

After Super Girl had finished the juice, Cabbage Patch brought the empty sippy cup to me and happily accepted juice in the cup. This could be a good thing, save me some dish washing. Hmmm... too bad they don't wear the same size... I could just have a couple of outfits for each and have the switch off every couple of days... save me some laundry to do... heh. Kidding. Really.

Exciting Plans For The Night

Well that's a bit of a stretch. I'm going to take the Little People to the movies then make a little trip to Starbucks after. No I'm not planning on getting the kids all cafinated, I just want to use my Starbucks card that I got for my birthday. That and I want to burn off some more time until bed time and lessen the time the tiny terrorists have to make messes in the house.

Hopeing the movie doesn't suck.

"Say Goodnight Gracie."

That's about it for tonight. I was going to write an angst filled post about my issues, but I'll spare everyone the pain of that and head to bed.

I have the day off tomorrow, of which I am none to happy. K is out of town and child care for Saturday just didn't materialize. I'm loosing money. Money is something I desperately need. To get my drivers license for one thing... I'll write about that experience tomorrow, I'll explain my need for money to get my license.

It's been a deathly quiet evening. Tiny Terrorists in bed earlier than expected due to them being EVIL. I was listening to some music earlier but it just didn't seem to fit me tonight so it's just the hum of the computer and the occasional bug smacking against my window. Quiet is usually good, it's just not helping my mood tonight. Maybe I should have drank that bottle of wine in the fridge.

Off to dream land.

More Stupid News

Rick James Autopsy Shocker states that Mr. James had lots of drugs in his system when he died. Is anyone shocked by that revelation? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

"In addition to cocaine and crystal meth, the Los Angeles county coroner's report noted the presence of seven other drugs found during the autopsy--specifically Xanax, Valium, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Digoxin, Chlorpheniramine and Vicodin."

Quite frankly I would have been SHOCKED if there HADN'T been drugs in his system.

Stupid Quiz Night

In an effort to not bore everyone with my personal issues, I will fill space with something stupid, then I'll go back to the dark, brooding, sullen,s elf depreciating posts.


Congratulations! You're a black velvet!


What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil's call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil's gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Heh... I like that one. I have a deck that has a very cool Devil card where the Devil is a woman in a red dress, I like it better than the goat thing up there.


You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla


The Withered Lover


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmmm... interesting.


You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
Pretty pic

And now to end this Quiz Night with one that's just stupid and funny.

I'm a rabbit vibe! Stylish, voracious, and I know
exactly what I want and how to get it. Rrowr!

This quiz brought to you by Uffish Thoughts
(www.uffish.com) and Blogwhore 2
(www.blogwhore.com)


What kind of sex toy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
So true, so true.

Silly News

Bobby Brown is getting his very own reality TV show. I wonder if it will have a lot of shots of him smacking Whitney up and of him getting busted? It will be like C.O.P.S! Shit I hope it is like that! It would be cool if they got some guest footage of Robert Downey Jr. getting busted, or Winona Ryder trying to talk her way out of getting arrested for shop lifting or maybe Macaulay Culkin getting busted for drugs.

Joke

This made me laugh.

Jesus was out walking one day, when he came across a
stoning. Jesus looked at the crowd and then said: "Those
amongst you who have no sin shall throw the first stone."
A man at the back of the crowd yelled: "Jesus, you always
want to go first!"

Gerbil Ball


Tonight we bought Bea a little ball to get her exercise in. The cats are sitting there watching Bea like a redneck watching Nascar. I don't think Bea appareciates the ball or the fact that it rolls every time she tries to get anywhere. Sunshine is trying to be very casual about it yet she hasn't taken her eyes off the ball containing Bea since I set it down in the base.

(imaginary) conversation with Sunshine:
Me: So, what do you think?
Sun: Is that a crunchy shell for a tasty morsel?
Me: NO. It's an exercise ball for Bea.
Sun: That's what I said.
Me: *rolling eyes*
Dusty: *batting at ball casually* Captain! Seems to be an impenetrable force field around the cat food!
Me: *sigh* It's a gerbil, it's NOT FOOD - it's a PET.
Sun: heh, that's funny. You're kidding right? Cats are pets, everything else is either cat food or a nusance.
Me: It's a pet.
Sun: Food. You're saving it for yourself aren't you? That's cool, you did catch it. I totally understand playing with your food before you kill it, but if you wait to long with this kind of food, it get's all tough.
Me: I'm NOT going to eat my gerbil!
Sun: Can I then?
Me: Fuck you cat.

Yummy Work

Here is a photo of some of the food for the reception (there's three trays of meat, two of beans, two of rice, one of pico de gallo, one of guacamole and one of cheese). I had a lof of fun making all the food. I hope everyone enjoys the food.

Insignificant

That's how I feel lately. I always joke about being invisible to people, but I really do feel that way. Unless someone needs something from me, I might as well just be invisible. That's about the only time people call is when they want something. My brother calls. He's lonely so he calls. I listen until I can't listen anymore. I feel bad because I want to hang up, but I do anyway. I don't call anyone, not really sure anyone wants to hear from me anyway. Well I do call XXX but I'm not even sure he wants to hear from me these days.

It's kind of weird to wake up and realize that no one really considers you to be a priority in their life. You are just not important to anyone other than yourself - and even then other people come first. Well I'm important to work... just that I show up. Otherwise nothing. No one consults me for MY plans (not that there are any), no one really wants my opinion (probably a good thing really - I know that most of you read this because you're at work and reading a book would be to obvious that you're slacking, looking at porn might get you fired), no one takes time out of their lives for me, it's okay really, I know everyone has a life of their own with priorities and I don't really expect anyone to make me one of theirs.

I guess there are advantages to being invisible.

I thik I'll become a hermit. Who would notice really? I just need to find a job that doesn't require me to leave the house. I can shop for groceries at midnight at a 24 hour store so I don't have to interact with anyone, hey even Mobile - they have food there don't they? ("Excuse me ma'am, is this banana organic?" "Huh? This is a gas station, are you gonna get the banana or not??"). I can order everything else off the internet and only interact with my children. They'll grow up thinking I'm an utter and complete freak, and they'll be right. It will give them interesting things to discuss with their therapist whey they are in their 20's having their first nervous breakdown.

I must go for now. Need to talk to the cats, discuss the possibility of adding more cats to the household - I mean what kind of recluse would I be if I didn't have far too many cats?

Insanity Part II

I'm having an odd day. I'm not feeling good. Not sick, just not feeling good. Ugh...

I wish my pets could talk (then I wouldn't have to do it for them) although it might be a bad thing, I think it would keep life interesting. Conversations would probably go something like this:

Me: Sunshine! Where are you?
Sun: Mmmmmphhh? Hmmm... what... I'm sleeping...
Me: (rolling eyes) *tisk* You've been alseep for the past 9 hours, wake the hell up.
Sun: Ugh... still sleeping... *rolling over*
Me: *grabbing cat and giving vigorous rub* Wake your bitchass up, you need to help me clean.
Sun: Hey! Hey! You are violating my personal space!! Hands off!
Me: Up lazy ass. Gotta clean house.
Sun: *looking indignant* Do I LOOK like a Disney creation? You sure don't look like Snow White or Cinderella. I'm going back to sleep now.
Me: You can help willingly or I can use you to clean the kitchen floor with.
Sun: You wouldn't.
Me: Look, the broom handle unscrews. See? Wonder how we could attach you to it... Thinking... Thinking...
Sun: Fine. Give me a sponge.
Me: Good thinking. Don't leave streaks now.
Sun: I hate you.
Me: Fuck off, keep cleaning slave!

Insanity

I am crazy. No need to get confirmation for anyone, I know the state of my sanity. I talk for the gerbil. I have whole conversations as Bea the gerbil. I've also had conversations as Sunshine the Cat or Dusty the pissy cat as well as a whole entertaining entourage of fish personalities. Yes I know that's crazy. I already admitted it. It makes me fun, at least to myself. (I've also talked for insects and spiders that I disturbe outside, it's an even more desperatly pathetic form of crazy.)

Leshana Tova Tekatev v'etachetem -
May you be inscribed for a sweet and good year!

Last night started the Jewish New Year. Yesterday was not a great day for the most part, I'll get into it later - I don't want to focus on things that piss me off right now.

Today I'll be cooking a feast for 25. D asked me to asist her put on a reception for her husband's best friend and his new wife. This has become the subject of a bet now. The funds were limited ($200) and the bet was that it could not be done on the funds available. I knew it could. As of yesterday the funds were cut to $150. I assured D that we could do a fajita dinner for 25 for under $150 eaisly. Armed with a list we headed off to shop. We hit the bread outlet first for a huge stack of tortillas, then headed to SAMS to procure the rest of the food. After our shopping trip for supplies to make beef and chicken fajitas, guacamole, pico de gallo, Mexican rice and refried beans - and yes I am making it all, nothing instant or premade - we ended the shopping trip right around $100.

So I'll be spending the day cooking and packaging things up. After Super Girl gets out of school we'll go the lake to recite the Tashlich prayers, toss bread crumbs in the water and empty our pockets (we symbolically cast our sins into the water and leave our old shortcomings behind us, thus starting the new year with a clean slate). The ducks always like this. The kids enjoy it also.

It's a new year. It will be a good year. Leshana Tova.

You're a witchy woman! Chances are that you see
Morticia Addams as a role model, and your
wardrobe sports a fair amount of black. The
other mothers at school pick up may look
askance, but your kids already know that the
judgement of others isn't what counts.


What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

No surprises here.

Hair Do!



After spending much money, much time and several times in the shower, my hair is no longer hidious plum color. It's a bit darker than it normally is, but that's really what I wanted. I'm happy. Now I can get my drivers license.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat...


I made a HUGE mistake today (as you can see). I was looking at the photos from the party this past Saturday night and thinking that my hair was looking a bit faded. I figured I'd get a semi-permanent color to refresh the color. I considered getting a Henna pack and doing that but haven't gone to the beauty supply recently so I got a semi-permanent color from the store. Big mistake. I have been using professional color (the same one) for the past 16 years. I should not have trusted L'oreal. Now my hair is a dark PLUM color. Not RED as the box (and pictures on the box implied). The box said the color would be "Intense Auburn Red" and that it would not lighten hair. No ammonia and that it's gentle and would last up to 28 shampoos. I figured it was temporary and at worst (as implied from the pictures) it would just come out as a very intense red. Not so. It was nearly BLACK at first. Now after about 8-10 shampooings it's this dark color. It's creepy. I look like a vampire. I did the Goth thing back in high school, I'm so over it. I want my red back.

Ya know what sucks the most about this? I need to go get a replacement drivers license this week. I really don't want THIS hair color in the photo. So about 20 more shampoos and hopefully I'll look normal.

Grocery Trip From Hell

Yesterday we went grocery shopping and it lasted 2 freaking hours!!!! I blame K for this. He accepts this responsibility and knows that some day I will take my horrible revenge on him and it won't be pretty (maybe more Angry Albino Sock Monkies in his room).

We went to Albertsons for shopping as K suggested, he loves to go there as they have the self scan thing there. You get a little scanner device and scan your groceries as you go, then at the check out you just download the info and pay. Well K was having WAY to much fun with the scanner and by the time we got to the check out we needed to do some serious editing before paying. We called over the Oh-So-Happy Checker in charge of the self check area to help us. She was none too thrilled with us and said she would have to rescan all our groceries. This irritates me. I wanted out of the fucking store right then. So she starts scanning, then she has to go do some administrative thing to release something or other and she leaves for a few minutes. She returns and does this AGAIN. *sigh* When she comes back and starts scanning again she weighes all of the produce again even though they have been weighed and have convenient price stickers on them because OBVIOUSLY since we couldn't handle working the scanner we OBVIOUSLY could NOT have weighed and priced our produce correctly. Ugh. It was a joy. The only thing that kept me from strangling someone was the thought of the CHEAP wine in the basket.

Celebration For A Drag Queen

I'm going to write about the party first as it will help to get my mind off the blood pressure raising extreemly stressful grocery shopping trip this evening that took 2 fucking hours and an extreem amount of control on my part to keep from killing people (K for one and the ever so cheery checker girl). Thankfully I bought two bottles of cheap wine which is helping to make the rest of this night bearable.

The sorie. It was scheduled to start at 5 pm. I arrived home about 3:30 pm or 4 pm. This meant that I had no time to nap after (which is just about the one thing I look forward to most on the weekends... What? I like a good nap. I preffer a good nap after fabulous sex but XXX doesn't live here. *sigh* See why I call it a karmically challenged life?) work, K had secured child care (Petey had shanghi'd his youngest sister into agreeing to sit on the children for the evening).

We arrived at the party about 6 pm. This was the Queen's 30th birthday (fuck! Is EVERYONE in the freaking gaming group YOUNGER than ME now??? I mean except K and Mrs. S's Husband), several members of his family including the woman responsible for birthing him 30 years ago (she's very nice, she makes queso... mmmmm... cheese...). Mystical D had set out an impressive and tasty array of nibbles which I headed straight for as I was hungry having hot had a moment to eat lunch at the hospital. It's a good thing I ate then. Petey arrived shortly after we did and engaged in a few heated political conversations with K and B to which I wandered off to chat with the girls.

With any party that I attend that involves Petey it always involves drinking. Petey is my drinking buddy. Our quest for inebreiation started with coconut rum and coke. mmmmm... coconut rum.

Eventually the party moved into the livingroom where people were torturing themselves with a Patrick Swazie move - 'Ghost'. It's not as bad as MOST of his movies, but still painful on many levels. Second drink - something tangy and limony-limey. After the movie somehow Petey gained control of ''THE REMOTE" and we were forced to watch sharkes. I wasn't tracking to well on that. I get bored when there's too much talking and not enough limbs being ripped off. Giggles and The Postman were at the party - both expressed their remorse for having ditched my birthday party due to The Postman having chosen THAT day to propose to Giggles. *sigh* Men. I admonished The Postman for his poor planning but forgave them the mortal sin (I am a saint after all, must pardon thoes who are deserving).

The next drink was either a coke and something mix or the coffe mix. I forget. Someone put on my FAVORITE Star Trek movie the Wrath Of Khan - Now it's not like I'm some kind of Trek Geek (K just keep your trap shut on this one), I honestly don't even recognize this movie until I see the man with the most faboulous pecs - Ricardo Montalban .

Soon it was time to go and I had just started my last drink. A tangy limey thing that I chugged before flashing the crowd and leaving.

It was a most fun party, I wish I could have stayed longer and been the last remaining obnoxious drunk, but alas it was not to be, I had to work Sunday morning.

Happy birthday Bill.

Oddly Fitting...


You will drink too much gin. Not the worst way to
die, but you won't remember too much of your
life. Hey, at least you made some people laugh!


What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla


I took that (I saw it on a dragqueen's blog) and thought it would just be stupid, but somehow it's a perfect lead in to the party from the weekend.

Oy, I Could Not Be Prouder...

Today while I was going over Rosh Hashanah stuff with Super Girl, she tells me that when she grows up she wants to be the one to blow the Shofar. (click the word to see what it is. A smack to all you dirty minded perverts who were thinking something else!!! I'll post the shofar/chaufer joke soon though.) I swear I was all farklempt after that.

Political Picnic

Saturday of the past Labor Day weekend, we (the family) attended a political picnic at the park located next to the lake that is conveniently located within walking distance of my abode. This is the same lake that I regularly drag Cabbage Patch around despite her incessant brain shattering whining, which in turn causes people to look at me with either absolute pity or complete revulsion at what an abusive mother I could be to force my (by her choice, utterly sedentary) three year old to walk and get some fresh air and much needed exercise prompting those individuals to either ask if I have a stroller or ask if I'm a single mother and need a stroller as the idea of a child just being a prima donna whinny brat hadn't even crossed their minds. But I digress, back to the picnic.

K is quite the card carrying Democrat these days. I suppose that when he came out of the closet he was given his Gay Card and his Democrat Card all in the same day. No matter, his intense interest in something somewhat altruistic is refreshing and welcome. Everyone who attended was asked to bring something so K made a (drum roll please) three layered Jell-o mold in the shape of the United States - yes it was RED, WHITE and BLUE. We also brought a couple of bags of chips and some Cokes.

We stood in the food line with the Little People. Most items were just nasty looking or far to questionable for me to put on my plate or even suggest that my offspring do so. K, being the gastronomicly adventurous man that he is, filled his plate with the typical picnic fare which frightened and repulsed me. I settled on some hummus and pita triangles (which turned out to be hard as fucking rocks) to accompany my tepid all beef hotdog (lucky for me one of the candidates at the picnic is Jewish so I didn't have to consider mystery meat hotdogs). As we get to the table Cabbage Patch drops her hot dog on the ground which commences a race between her and her daddy to see who will pick up the hot dog first, if she got it first chances are she would bite into the dirt covered frankfurter. Luckily K got it in the trash pretty quick. I gave Cabbage Patch mine and sent K, the dutiful daddy (who had dragged us to this) to procure me a happy new hotdog. Super Girl refused to fill a plate with food during our trek through the line but as soon as we sat down she voiced her desire for food. *sigh* Once again through the line, this time with feeling. Super Girl didn't want anything but the all beef hotdog and some chips so we are in and out of the line pretty damn quick. We all sit at the table and eat our tepid dogs while being 'entertained' by the dj who was desperately trying to get the crowd excited despite the fact that he was playing awful music picked out by some 65 year old guy (Mr. DJ).

Once I finished my dog I realized that my time released super-duper strength sinus/cold/allergy tablet had no more time left on it and the mucus factory within my sinus work super efficiently to obstruct my nasal passages. This of course causes me to have a headache and feel crappy. We sat through some political speech given by a couple of candidates - I couldn't tell you what they were saying because to be quite truthful it was boring and I zoned out. Short attention span, what can I say. I considered lying and saying that I was preoccupied with herding the children into a small area on the grass near the table for them to run and play - this is not a lie, but it's not the reason I wasn't listening to the speeches. After all the talking stopped I sent K to get dessert for all of us as I figured the extra sugar for the Little People couldn't possibly make them any more hyper than they already were. K returned with cookies and brownies and then I spotted IT. The absolute most wonderful sugar coated yum-yum ever made. Frosted Animal Cookies! I recognized the bag even though it's been YEARS since I last bought (and devoured) a bag. I demanded that K get me some (all) of the cookies! He returned with a small bowl of them, the little people helped me eat them and I had to seriously control my urges to yell at them to not touch my fucking cookies, I love Frosted Animal Cookies. Mmmm the little pink and white animals with sprinkles... Absolute heaven.... *sigh* I love them almost as much as XXX.

Afterward, I was miserable and ready to go home but NOOOOOOOO the Democrats had planned a torture session especially for me. They called it 'games' for the kids, but I know better. I stood by as the Little People participated in a hoola-hoop contest - though neither of my progeny can hoola-hoop. I silently suffered as they tossed bean bags into a basket (that was moving closer and closer with each toss). The duck game was not so much suffering as it just entailed the Little People picking up a duck out of a blow up pool (no water). Each game secured the kids with a 'prize' for their participation. Prize = Crap. Yay.

Then K asked me if I wanted to meet the candidate he was so impressed with. I said yes. I chatted with the candidate and then it was time to go. I was tired, the tiny terrorists were irritating and it was getting dark. Had we not given enough already? Isn't a Jell-o mold enough??? So we left. K grabbed some spiffy political signs to prominently display in front of out town house. (Much to his delight, yesterday a woman in the area knocked on the door wanting to know where she could get signs like his. I had to call him and tell him how impressed someone was with his political decorations.)

My first political picnic. Maybe my last. The next thing is supposed to take place at a coffee house, I may attend that... Just for the coffee. ;o)

No Yoga = Inflexibility

I was just remembering something that struck me as odd from back when I was driving back from my visit with XXX. I didn't write about it because I ended up just not freaking writing about the suck ass drive home. Yeah it sucked for a number of reasons, I had a tire that I had discovered was really low the morning I left - so gimpy tire made for shaky alignment and shitty drive, got caught in Fucking Austin lunch time traffic, debit card not working at gas station that required PAY BEFORE PUMPING (which I hate), nasty restroom in gas station, pissy gas station attendants, running late getting home and what sucked the most - leaving XXX and knowing I would be sleeping alone again. *sigh* So, yeah I just didn't write about the drive home.

After driving through Austin I stopped to get some gas and check the gimpy tire. Mostly to check the tire as I had half a tank of gas, I figured I'd get gas since I was stopped anyway. As I was pulling into the gas station I stopped at I had been flipping through the stations to find something not so sucky to listen too. I stopped pressing the SEEK button as I turned into the gas station, it was now on some talk radio show. The person talking was talking about Yoga and Christianity. I'm familiar with both. I do yoga and though I'm not a Christian I played one for several years. I listened as I dug trough my purse for my useless debit card. The speaker started in on how one could not be a Christian and practice yoga, how practicing yoga went against the teachings of Christianity. Although I know that in some cultures the practice of yoga is part of their spirituality everyone I know (including myself) know not a damn thing about yoga spirituality and are doing yoga for the flexibility and relaxation. I couldn't listen to anymore of the speakers ramblings and turned off my car. It struck me as ironic that someone would be denoucing yoga for Christians as I've known more than a few Christians who I considered to be rather inflexible.

Curriculum Night (Open House)

Tonight was 'Curriculum Night' at Super Girl's school. From 6:30 pm to 8 pm. Have I mentioned that I'm still sick? I'm sure I have, if not I'm sure my lovely cough and constant nose blowing would be a dead give away. I've reached the peak of my illness I believe. I'm to the point that the non-drowsiness super strength medicine no longer makes me feel peppy and energetic, just not quite so sleepy and allows me to breath freely through both nostrils for several minutes before having to blow my nose to have unobstructed air-flow again. I know... to much sharing. Sorry, my judgement is impared by Nightquil. I've been running a low fever also. This makes me feel intermitantly cold and hot. Curently I'm hot. I'm sweaty and I feel as though someone is holding a blow torch on my face and back. I feel like that after any physical exerstion as well. Life is great. Anyway, as I was saying tonight was open house at Super Girl's school and I was determined to go. When K got home about 6 pm I was laying on the sofa trying to convince the Little People to be very quiet and still and that they wanted to nap with mom - my attempts were in vain. While the Little People put shoes on I went to the bathroom to paint my face a shade that didn't resemble a ghoul in my attempt to not look like an extra from "Night Of The Living Dead" (love that movie). I'm guessing I accomplished my goal as no one ran screaming from the room when we arrived.

We commence learing of the Curriculum as promised by the title of the event. I'm not really sure what I learned other than they no longer give out letter grades and that for the normal adult the tiny little kindergarten chairs become uncomfortable and nearly debilitating after 20 or so minutes of sitting in one. I couldn't really focus on the presentation after a few moments, I was mostly concentrating on trying not to cough all over the other parents around me so as to not frighten the other people in the room into thinking (rightfully so) that I was just a walking bio-hazzard.

After the open house it was off to Chick Fil'a for dinner. I had the chicken noodle soup which apparently is only to be served at mouth scalding temperatures of near molton lava. By the time that everyone had finished their food my soup was finaly cool enough to eat. By that time I had lost interest in the soup and was pineing for my bottle of green elixer of relief and blissful sleep (Nightquil). I snapped the lid on the soup and we headed home.

Currently the Little People are off to bed, K is on the sofa playing with the gerbil (no that's not a lead in to a gay joke) and I'm wondering if it is safe to take a double shot of Nightquil while waiting for that delightfull sleepy feeling to take over ensureing that whether or not my nasal passages are completly obstructed with mucus I will be blissfully unaware and will sleep like the dead.

Oh yeah, K is a comedian some days. Tonight on the way home after asking me how I felt and getting the reply of "sick" he said "You need to get some rest." Heh. I think he was serious. Ya know I'd call in if I had a back up mom to come take my place. ;o)

The Babysitter

This morning I woke in the wee hours - 3:30 am. All of my severe cold/sinus/allergy medication had finished it's work in my system and I needed another fix to make it through the night. For some reason I was wide awake though still desperately tired. Damn. I hate that. I took another hit from the bottle of soothing, comfort and whacky dreams of healing - Nightquil. I knew this was a bad idea as I would be smacking the alarm in a mere 3 hours but I needed more sleep. When the alarm buzzed at 6:30 am I was very tired.

After getting Super Girl on the school bus, Cabbage Patch and I headed home where I enlisted the aid of The Babysitter for some much needed rest. Who is The Babysitter? Why the VCR and DVD players of course. I feel a bit guilty (as well as just feeling like shit being sick) even though I needed the couple of hours of sleep that the two videos alowed me.

Tuesday Night

I'd like to take a moment to thank our sponsors TheraFlu and Nightquil for tonights post.

I haven't actually taken any Theraflu tonight, but I have been sucking that stuff down in the past couple of nights. Tonight it's exclusively Nightquil. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Dog Humiliation



I didn't do this, D did. It's nice to know that other people enjoy humiliating their pets as much as I do.

Is It Love?

You MUST read this story.

My favorite line in the story: Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.

Are You Compatible With ME?

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!(and I'm cute!)
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

*sniffle* I'm Sick

Apparently K has okayed the government to do viral experiments on me again. I'm feeling like shit. I just want to snuggle under my covers in a Nightquil induced sleep while dreaming naughty thoughts about XXX, but alas, that is not to happen as the responsibilities of parenthood prevent me from such chemically induced bliss.

I have managed to find some partial and temporary relief in store brand non drowsiness cold/sinus/allergy medicine. The effects last from 6-8 hours not to exceed 4 doses in a 24 hour period, keep in dry place, store at room temperature... Stop using if you get nervous, dizzy or sleepless (actually the sleepless part is what I'm aiming for otherwise I'd be chugging Nightquil and snoozing all day). Now the recommended dose for an adult (which I am, regardless of how immature I may act, I still AM a big girl) is 2 tablets. Friday after dragging Cabbage Patch to the store to procure the abovementioned tablets, I took the recommended dosage. When it kicked in I felt as though I had downed the pills with three espressos. I felt better, oh yeah I felt better, fuck I swear I could feel my hair growing! I was bouncing off the walls. Since then I've keep my consumption to one tablet every 6 hours, I'm not bouncing off the walls but it sure was a breeze to get all my laundry done yesterday.

Freak Friday

I was thinking about something and it occured to me that 'Freak' is an appropriate descriptive of my life. Let me explain. Tonight's trip to Wally-World left me with a throbbing headache and stiff neck after a freak incident where Super Girl bumped me hard against the side of my head while getting out of the basket, this would not be anything except for the freak accident that happened 5 years ago where my car got totaled by a van leaving me with a bulging disk in my neck. It's never really bothered me until tonight.

It's rather freaky that I have a gay husband. Even freakier that we are great friends and I know his boyfriend. I tend to be a freak magnet (read my bus trip post sometime if you have doubts) and I like to get my freak on with my ever so hot and sexy boyfriend XXX.

Yeah, I'm your freak.

Busy Day

D took Cabbage Patch for the day. I have the day to myself - at least until 3:45 pm when Super Girl get's home from school.

When I get a free day people always ask what I"m going to do and inevitibly I say "clean house". I always get shit for this, but honestly I like to be able to clean without having a little person make a mess right behind me. I like my house clean. Hell I'll clean other people's houses - just ask XXX, I always clean his place when I'm there alone. I know I'm insane.

Cleaning isn't the only thing I have planned though. I have a sewing project I am going to finish as well as some art work... and laundry.

Well I'm off to do my stuff.

A Beautiful Day In The Hood

I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Ignore that last post.

I Am The Mayor Of Dorkville!

So last week I go to blow dry my hair straight and my blow dryer won't work. Hmmm... It's older than my children so I guess it's time for it to die. I don't throw above mentioned hair dryer away as I have a small drop of hope within me that maybe it's just tired and will work later.

Today, I wash my hair and really want it straight. I turn on dryer. Nothing. I press reset button on hair dryer cord. Nothing. I unplug hair dryer and mess with reset button on outlet. Nothing. Wait... Wait... I notice that no matter how much I push the reset button on the outlet, the button won't reset. Hmmm... Could it be? Maybe the dryer isn't broke. Maybe it's the outlet. Then I have a flash of clarity. I remembered that the day we attended the wedding (July 31), I was curling Super Girl's hair using the curling iron. At one point it made a popping noise then the curling iron wouldn't turn back on. I assumed that meant that the curling iron (also older than my children - maybe even older than my marriage) was broken and I tossed it in the trash. Super Girl's hair was finished thankfully. Today when I remembered that I wondered if maybe I had just overloaded the breaker. A trip to the breaker box answered that question. One switch was tripped. I rectified the situation and headed back to the bathroom. The hair dryer worked. I have lovely straight hair. Of course this means that the curling iron probably wasn't broke either.

Words

Do you ever just wish you could take something back that you said? I usually don't worry about it. Today is different. I feel like I said something to someone that I should have kept to myself. Something that makes me seem petty and selfish and self centered. Maybe I am. I suppose I'd be the last one to recognize those character flaws.

Anyway, I feel as though I've lost something and I'm not sure what. Like I was talking to someone and suddenly realized they weren't with me anymore. It's a bad feeling. The worst part is that I'm possitive I'm blowing all of this out of proportion.

I can't write about this anymore, I don't know if I can make sense out of it to anyone. I'll feel better in the morning.

Thank You Note



I just finished this Thank You note. I'm not sure I like it all that well. It was something different.

I have a few more to get done. Not sure what they'll look like though.

Another Stupid Quiz


Nick Cave... dark and creepy. You're a bi-polar
genius, with equal passion for the most
degrading aspects of humanity, as well as the
beauty & wonder of God and Heaven.


Which fucked-up genius composer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


I only posted the results because of A's love of Nick Cave.

More Than You Cared To Know About Me

(Any question that doesn't apply to me I'll either make it more intersting or just fucking lie to make it more interesting)

1. Your name spelled backwards.
yduj - What the fuck? Is this a drunk test?
2. Where were your parents born?
Mom - San Antonio TX, Dad someplace in Vermont I think.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Porn
4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
Scilly's, a local Itallian place. mmmmm...
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
I don't go in pools, I fear that people have urinated in them and I refuse to swim in other people's waste. Also I refuse the scare people by wearing a bathing suit.
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Does being the head of costuming count?
7. How many kids do you want?
Currently just the two I birthed, occasionally not even that many.
8. Type of music you dislike most?
rap, pop, anything that gives me homicidal yearnings.
9. Are you registered to vote?
Like I could NOT be registerd to vote with Mr. Politically Active Gay Man in the same house.
10. Do you have cable?
No, I have the internet.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Once and the guy driving it scared the shit out of me so I never did again.
12. Ever prank call anybody?
Hell yeah, I grew up before caller ID.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
No, that's a stupid question.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Either if I was drunk enough.
15. Farthest place you ever traveled.
Canada - yes I know that's lame.
16. Do you have a garden?
I have a collection of potted things that occasionally look nice outside my door, this I sometimes like to pretend is an actual garden and friends humor me.
17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Dilbert. My former step father used to call me Dogbert because I'm basically EVIL.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Probably not, but I can fake it enough to make it through at the beginning of a sporting event.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower, morning. Baths creep me out after a few moments, sitting in ones own filth and all.
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
Kill Bill vol. 1. I rented it a couple of weeks ago.
21. Favorite pizza topping?
peperoni and mushrooms or XXX ;o)
22. Chips or popcorn?
For what? Neither really. Dumb question. Better question: Vodka or Rum? Vodka!
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Some all day stuff that's call Rosey something or other. I really should write it down because I never remember when I need more and end up buying 6 or so of the wrong color before I find it again.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
What? That doesn't even make sense. I've smoked cigarets and pot. I don't smoke anything now.
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Yeah right, that's a stupid question. Yeah I won the "Miss Biggest Butt" title.
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Depends on what booze I have to mix with it.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
The family, Wattaburger. Yeah, only fine dining for me.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Reeces Peanutbutter cups. Twix.
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Last time K drug me to vote.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Last November when my retarded tomato plant finally produced tomatoes.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
no
32. Are you a good cook?
Hell yeah.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
duh. Who DOESN'T?
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No. Never even been tempted.
35. Sprite or 7-up?
Neither, stupid question again. Better question: Beer or wine coolers? Wine coolers are for gay men. I'd take beer over wine coolers.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Nooooooo.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Condoms.
38. Ever throw up in public?
Stupid question. New question: Ever have sex in public? yes.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Hmmm.... Both, I want it all.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I used to not believe in it, but then I met a fabulous man who I fell maddly in love with the moment I set eyes on him. I'm generally a skeptic and very jaded so I tried not to be 'in love' for a while - didn't change a thing, I still am in love.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
No, but I've worked one before. Want me to call and talk dirty to you?
42. Can ex’s be friends?
Yeah, K and I are still the best of friends.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Father in law for heart attack.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
So I've heard. Who cares really?
45. What message is on your answering machine?
Death threats
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Cheri O'Teri has this bit she does where she plays this whacked out house wife. She did a skit with Brendon Fraiser at a pharmacy. It was hysterical.
47. What was the name of your first pet?
A gray cat named Smokey. Followed by another gray cat named Smokey and another named Smokey. I finally got the message that I was not destined to have a gray cat named Smokey and gave up on that one.
48. What is in your purse?
Well I don't carry a vibrator in there anymore so nothing interesting. I mean everyone carries condoms, lube and small sex toys.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Abuse BOB.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
XXX, Today and everyday -

Oh, Did I Say That?

Anyone who knows me well knows that at times my internal filter doesn't work. (Internal filter, as in the filter in your brain that keeps you from saying something assinine like "My grandmother has that very same dress!" to your friend who was just showing off her new dress.) Usually my filter does work. Yesterday at the pool party it worked fine for the most part. A couple of times it didn't.

One time I was sitting with Discontented Lesbian, her little boy, one of Rickie's daughters, K and The Little People. Something about names came up. Discontented Lesbian mentioned that her son's name was Dustin not Justin (as Rickie's daughter had been calling him), they discuss kid names for a couple of minutes then I say "Some people name their kids screwed up things." As you can guess the conversation came to a screeching stop. That's not how I meant it to come out. I clairified and said what I meant, thereby avoiding a big nasty event of Discontented Lesbian kicking the shit out of me.

The other time, I'm still chatting with Discontented Lesbian. We are talking pets. I mention how I hate owning dogs. For some reason this irritated Discontented Lesbian, I don't know why. I explained that I like dogs, I just hate owning one. Not sure why that got to her really.

Luckily there was plenty of eating and drinking going on at the party so I didn't mar the party to much with my foot being in my mouth too many times.

How To Piss Of My Cat

My cat is the nicest cat in the world (well unless you are a dog or a tasty rodent). I've had someone offer me money for the cat and had more than one person ask if they could have her. She's a nice cat. She puts up with the Little People torturing her on a daily basis and has rarely even scratched them. She allows me to take the humiliating photos of her in hats and collars and doesn't protest. There is almost nothing that will make this cat angry enough to be mean. Almost. Sunshine hates having her claws trimmed. She becomes psycho kitty. Luckily she's a small cat so holding onto her is not that difficult. Today as I clipped the nails of the squirming cat, she had enough of that indignity and let out an inhuman howl (well of course it was inhuman, she's a cat) and bit me - hard! The cat literally bit the hand that feeds her! Didn't do her any good, I smacked her on the head and finished clipping her nails.

Pool Fun

Yesterday K, B, myself and the Little People went to a pool party for the Gay Parenting group we are a part of. I initially had considered ditching the party as K was bringing B with him and I really dislike being the third wheel. I decided to go though. I don't do pools as I refuse to torture the general public let alone people I do know and like by subjecting anyone to see me in a bathing suit. *shudders* I haven't even owned a swim suit in over 15 years. My reasons for going obviously had nothing to do with the pool and everything to do with the party. The hosts of the party were Rickey and Rickie - they were actually my reasons for going - I met them at the first group meeting and became fast friends with them.

So we show up about 30 minutes late for the party. The Little People were in the pool within seconds of arriving leaving me to stand around and chat with the other non-swimming party-goers. That would be The Discontented Stay At Home Mom Lesbian - we'll call her The Discontented Lesbian just to make it easy. We sat and chatted while our kids had fun. She was nice enough, but she didn't seem all that happy. Her daughter had just started kindergarten like Super Girl. She told me this story: Her daughter started school and made a friend. The daughter and friend ate lunch together every day. One day when Discontented Lesbian was picking up daughter from school, Friend's mom mentions how much friend talks about daughter and suggests they make a play date. Discontented Lesbian says what a great idea that is and then makes a big deal of explaining to Friend's mom that daughter has two moms and no dad. Friend's mom said that wasn't a problem and everyone left to go home. The next day when Discontented Lesbian was picking up daughter, Friend's mom said how she was okay with the whole lesbian thing BUT that her HUSBAND wasn't so no-go on the play date. Discontented Lesbian mentioned how she was offended by that, etc. I can understand that and I sympathize, I even empathize as I've been shunned by a mom's group because K is gay. BUT... When she got to the part about having told the parent about her being a lesbian I wanted to ask her WHY she felt it was necessary to do that? I'm not saying hide it or anything like that, but why tell her the first time she meets her? Why define one's self by one's sexuality? Why not just make the play date, get to know the mom and if it comes up deal with it then?

Anyway, we had a nice time. We were the last people to leave, I swear I could have talked all freaking night long. Rickey and Rickie are so entertaining, they have a FABULOUS house and their kids are great. The Little People had so much fun and they got balloons to take home - woohoo!

An Entry From The Gerbil Diaries...

Dear Diary,

My stay here has now been over a week. I am still in the small enclosure. The walls are of an unknown substance that is smooth and I can see through it. It is not unlike the commune I lived in when I was young (ahh thoes were the days). I scratch at it several times a day but have not made any progress at an escape tunnel.

Apparently my captors are keeping me in solitary confinement indefinitly. My captors are huge giants who provide me with the basics, a place to sleep, water and food. They seem mostly benign even bordering on benevolent. However I am continually guarded by two shifty preditors. For some reason the presence of the preditors do not alarm the giants therefore I am untrusting of the giants. The preditors stand below me and stare at me with their hungry eyes. This is a constant. I am asumeing this is some kind of torture.

Speaking of torture how could I forget to mention the tiny giants. They are miniature versions of the giants and they make a lot more noise. Several times a day they peer into the enclosure and bang on the sides generally while I am sleeping.

Every day I am given an chance to escape as the giants remove me from the enclosure and allow me an escape attempt. It is always frought with danger and occasionally includes participation of the tiny giants which seems to up the danger of the game much more. Have I mentioned that during these exercises the giants hold me while the preditors watch from below? You have no idea the stress I live with.

I must go for now.

Bea (Bubonic Plague)

Yes I know I'm insane. I amuse myself though.