Halloween Photos

Because every other mom authored blog I read (which isn't many to be honest) has a photo of their costumed children on it, I felt the pressure to conform.


I'm not sure why the two kids on the end look like they are in front of a fireing squad. Still it's a nauseatingly cute photo. Somedays I am truely amazed that my ovaries created them. (*note: only the cute female children are my progeny, the male is their cousin).



I like these photos, they were taken at the GAYEST party I've EVER been too. No really, it was that gay - it was a gay/lesbian parents group. I think I was one of two straight people (not counting kids) at the party. I like the photo of Cabbage Patch because she was being so nauseatingly cute that I heard how incredibly cute she was at least 8 times in a 5 minute span - this picture reflects her true Evil chocolate munching self.

Okay, okay, I'm done with the hormonal photo posting... at least until the next overly cute holiday photo op.

Go Vote!

If you already haven't.

And Angry Albino Sock Monkey would like to add:



But I wouldn't if I were you, I just can't endorse voting for any spiteful little primate who feels that throwing feces is great source of fun.... hmmm.... that kind of rules out the other candidates also now doesn't it... eh, well just go vote.

Our Halloween Costumes



I made K's costume. (the spot on the sleeve is just a spot on the photo) I just wore my rennie garb (I didn't go for eye popping cleavage since we were taking the little people out trick-or-treating - I sure wasn't looking for any tricks and I wasn't out to treat anyone!) Yeah I know, I looked so freaking happy. Oh well.

Halloween (sorta) Party

We had a surprise party this Saturday. We didn't have any plan and the plans of other people fell through so SURPRISE we had a party at our house. It kind of was just supposed to be a board game night but copious amounts of alchohol turns things into a PARTY. It was fun. I took photos, Petey and I are stupid drunk people and feel that it's imperative that we get a photographic log of our drinking endevors.

So here in pictures is our impromptu party.



Sober people. Mystical D and The Queen, The Redneck (with a child foot in his hand) and B with K.


Let the Drinking Start!! 1st drink, second and third (or forth...) drink. Petey sharing a beer with ET.


Who's drunker? I'm not sure what is going on in the next photo, I think it's something gay though.


The glow in the dark zombie that landed in my shirt. Petey with Bono-esque glasses on. See!! Bill IS a QUEEN! He looks good in a tiara though.



Mystical D is piling zombies on my cat. I guess she likes it.


Isn't he pretty when he's drunk?


I don't know what the fuck these are pictures of.


Here I am drunk - but I lost my drinking buddy. Oh, there he is.

And the conversation turned to sex toys...


Ummm... I know you've been called a dick head before, but that's now where it goes.

All good things must come to an end... especially when I have to work in the morning! Besides it was 2 am! (actually 1 am with time change crap)

Good Bye Mystical D

Good Bye Drunk Petey

Good Bye Redneck

Good Bye Queen


You don't even want to know... but he was begging for it!

And what would a drunken party be without some pussy.

Breaking My Heart

Dear Cabbage Patch;

Sometimes it really does suck to be the youngest. My heart was breaking for you when your daddy left with Super Girl, leaving you stareing at the door through big wet tears. The injustice of life was quite painful at that moment. I remember the same 'too little' moments in my life dear. Take heart sweet baby, it all balances out later in life. There will be countless times you get to do something that your sister will protest "What??? You never let me do that at her age!" Those moments will be golden and well worth the tiny injustices of childhood.

Love,
Mom

Easily Amused

Yes I am. This morning I handed each of the Little People the clothing they were to wear. Both of my progeny got dressed. I thought Cabbage Patch's pants looked a bit odd but didn't give it more than a thought as we were running late which meant we would litterally be running to the bus stop.

Sometime after nap Cabbage Patch comes out of the bathroom with her pants and undies pulled up over the front part of her tee shirt. Her panties were pulled up about two inches above the waist band for her pants and I could see the tag for her pants sticking up. I got the giggles. She didn't want to turn her pants around the right way either. Heh.

New Blog!

That spiteful little monkey has gotten his own blog. Go check out Angry Albino Sock Monkey Rants. So far it's just a bunch of pictures of the little fucker - he's vain.

Halloween Hectic!

Sheesh! Halloween is just days away! What the fuck? How did that happen???? *sigh* I have to finish costumes for both of the Little People (Cabbage Patch's is nearly complete) and a costume for K (it's going to kick ass). I'm so damn busy. I'm not even cleaning house (which I need to do before things start to obscure the floor) - well that's a bit of a lie, I did clean the living room this morning, but I'm leaving the rest for K when he get's home. Yikes! I can't believe I'm going to leave a task like that to him. Everyone know's I'm totally neurotic! Okay, deep breaths... I'll be fine. I have to go now, must work out while I have time and before my ass decides to get 3 inches wider.

Space Talk

Conversation on the way home from Wally World.

Cabbage Patch: Where we going?
Me: Home.
(moments pass)
Super Girl: Where are we going?
Me: Home.
(2 minutes later)
CP: Where we going?
Me: *sigh* Home.
(1 minute later)
CP: Where we going?
SG: Where are we going?
Me: Mars.
CP: Where we going?
Me: Mars. We are going to Mars.
CP: Mars?
Me: Yes, we are going to Mars right now.
SG: Mom, did you call Washington?
Me: *giggling*

Now how did she know that a trip to Mars would have to be approved by the government? *sigh* Memo to self, call govt. and get trip to Mars approved. Also call Tooth Fairy and get on her schedule for Wednesday night. Yes, Super Girl lost another tooth. She's thrilled to now have a large gap where her too front teeth used to reside. And she has a cute lisp now.

Political Laughs

This is funny. I think I shall never be able to think of Disney in the same way.

Movie Comments

My recent trip to the library found me in possesion of the DVD for 'Dangerous Liaisons'. I had never seen that movie. When it came out I was still in high school and was completly disinterested in watching anything like that. I only picked this up at the library because it was the only Grown Up movie that I had not seen and looked at least mildly entertaining. That and I do like Glenn Close.

So we watched the movie. I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. Glenn Close and John Malkovich are such superb actors and the story is just fabulous. My only kvetch - Who the FUCK had the bright idea to cast Keanu Reeves in this movie? He was soooooo awful. Although his part was rather small and his actual screen time was quite short - he was totally and completly distracting for every second he was on screen. Every time he opened his mouth the belivability of the movie plumeted, the quality suffered and I could almost see his co-stars cringe at his ever utterance. I admit, he is very pretty to look at, but he's a HORRIBLE actor. My personal plea to Keanu - Please, please stop ruining movies with your 'acting' (unless it's another barely watchable sequel to Bill & Ted's Excelent Adventure - in which you were fucking perfect!). People still want to see you, just not watch you act - take up underwear modeling. And while your at it, pass along this message to Ben Affleck, he's another one I'd rather just look at than have to watch 'act'. Much Warmth, Judy.

Rainy Day

Dear lord it is raining here. It's BEEN raining most of the day. Most of the FREAKING day. Not a steady pattering rain, but a soft almost mist rain that I didn't even know was going on until Cabbage Patch stared at the window and proclaimed "It raining" to which my all knowing mommyness decreed that it was in fact NOT raining, a fact that I had deducted from the fact that I did not hear rain, hear thunder or see the flashing of lightening, therefore it could not be raining but was infact just cloudy. Cabbage Patch, being the astute and observant toddler that she is, ignored my proclaimation and again stated the obvious to me, this time pointing at the window as if to emphasize without saying "Look you oblivious woman, it IS raining, open your damn eyes and look!" I walked to the window that she was pointing at and peeked out the blinds, upon seeing the wet pavement I was compelled to open the front door and peer out and say "Well what do you know, it is raining." That was early this morning - well earlier today, it was sometime after 9:30 am but before lunch.

3:30 pm today (time to walk to get Super Girl from the bus) it was still raining/misting. *sigh* Rainy cloudy days like that make it difficult for me to find any motivation to do anything other than lay on the couch with the television on drifting in and out of sleep getting up from the couch only to pee and to get more coffee and a sandwich. Not that ever happens, but that's all I WANT to do. Cabbage Patch is never motivated to do that. She's motivated to dump all her toys on the floor then refuse to pick them up. She's motivated to go to her room and come down 10 minutes later in a mismatched outfit complete with feathered hat and colorful lei then preform an interesting tribal song and dance routine while trying to keep a pair of my high heels on her tiny feet. She's motivated to grab Sunshine and try to wrap her up like a baby then chase her when she runs under the table, grabbing her leg and not letting go until either the cat wiggles free or I threaten to spank her. She's motivate to tell me she's hungry (thirsty) go to the fridge with me in tow, stand with the door open and change her mind 6 different times as to what she wants to drink, finally setteling on the first option offered and then changing her mind right after said liquid is securely in the no-spill sippy cup and throwing not quite so non-spilling non-spill sippy cup on the floor and screaming at me until I pick up cup, put back in fridge and leave her to whine in private. She's motivated to argue with me about what pair of panties she will wear today then put them on backwards and refusing to turn them around resulting in a daylong wedgie that for some reason does not bother her, but bothers me every damn time I see it (which unfortunately for me is far to frequent since she changed from shorts to a short cute skirt).

I still cling to the fantasy of laying on the sofa and watching television between near coma like napping, exiting bed only to take care of necessary things. Truly this is on my list of fantasies. Right under a week of being naked with XXX and a box of cool sex toys all with everlasting, never dieing batteries, a gallon jug of Astroglide and several bottles of cheap, tasty wine. (I know, no one really wanted to know that, but hey I'm sharing).

If there is an all powerful being somewhere, I am imploring him to either stop the rain or make The Tiny Terrorists very very sleepy, mommy wants to veg. *sigh* Gotta go make them put on shoes and go to the grocery store - hey all powerful, while your at it could you send over a pizza too so I don't have to go out? Hmmm? Maybe?

Poop Video

No I'm not talking about some pervert fetish video, I'm talking about a potty training video we purchased when Super Girl was first starting to potty train. It seemed like a really good idea. It was Bear In The Big Blue House (which is a whole other issue I'll get into later) which was a show Super Girl LOVED. It seemed promising that she might be convinced to use the potty by a giant ratty looking bear off the Disney Channel where we had failed to convince her to do as such on a regular basis. The video just didn't live up to it's potental. Super Girl watched it a couple of times then never glanced at it again. Eventually she did use the potty.

Fast forward 3 years. Cabbage Patch found the video amongst the hundreds and hundreds of child friendly videos hidden in a cabinet. Every few month when my sanity levels begin to dip dangerously into the 'Will Go On A Homicidal Shooting Spree' zone every time I hear a certain video, I know it's time to change out the videos. In this latest cycle I found that video and put it in circulation. This decision was based on two facts 1) that Cabbage Patch is nearly potty trained and just needs to consistently poop in the toilet and 2) I had completly forgotten the content of the video.

We don't have cable (no we don't live in a cave, we just don't have cable) so Cabbage Patch has never been inducted into the Disney Cult via it's direct mind control link of The Disney Channel. (This seems to only work on toddlers. As soon as Super Girl became preschool aged her loyalties changed and she became a Nick Jr. zombie.) Bear In The Big Blue House was new and exciting for her. All the freaky little creatures were interesting. And everyone of them was talking poop. I watched the video with Cabbage Patch and wondered what the hell I had been thinking when I purchased it. Pretty quickly in the video we have the 'pleasure' of seeing a neurotic blue mouse sitting on the toilet. I'm not even sure you can show that on television! Later Bear is summoned to the toilet to help the whiney little bear out as she's had an accident - again, another creature sitting on the throne. Everyone talks very frankly about pooping and toilets - it's like a conversation with a room full of retired people where the topics range from frequency, laxitives, fiber and 'roids. Just about the time I'm starting to be totally creeped out by the twin otters discussing using the potty in their sing-songy way, it's time for a song! Yeah you guessed it, it's a song about using the potty. Great, a catchy little tune about going poop. Just what I need. A poop song stuck in my head (and yes I did have it in my head for a bit). The video itself is relatively harmless if a bit on the creepy side (at least to me). She's watched it a total of two times. Has it worked? Two shitty diapers later say no it hasn't.

Charitable Causes Indeed!

I'm noticing a very disturbing trend, mass marketing, merchandising and proffiting all in the name of charity. Seems like every magazine I flip through (flip through because I never have any time to read more than one a half pages at a time and generally by the time I get back to the magzine (potty break again) I've either forgotten what I was reading, lost my page or the Little People have decided to reinact the story of Noah in my bathroom thereby rendering all reading material within spashing distance or on the floor utter trash) I notice some thing disguised as charity. Either last month or this month is Breast Cancer Awareness month (I forget which month, I'm damn luck if I am aware of what freaking day it is when I wake up so don't expect me to be aware of "Fill-in-the-blank Awareness month"), a lot of merchandisers are offering cute little pink ribbon things where a portion (usually 1 % or so) will go to some kind of breast cancer fund. Target is not to bad in this area, they say that all of the proceeds from the sales of their Pink line of crap goes to a fund. Yoplait has a save the lid compaign - you save the lids, mail them back and they donate like $.10 a lid donation (up to $1.2 million) . All this bothers me. Not the giving to a charitable cause but the merchandising around it. If Yoplait is willing to donate $1.2 million then why don't they just do it and not have people mail back the nasty lids to their yogurt. And what-the-fuck-ever with the other merchandise. Why should I buy some overpriced running shoes? Because of the cute pink ribbon on them? So everyone will know that a portion of my money went to research ($2 from the $70 price tag)? Can't I just donate directly to the fund and not buy the crappy pink candles from Target? Do I have to become a walking billboard for a cause to show my support? I wonder is THIS the ONLY way people will donate to worthy causes? If there is a cute scarf/shirt/hat/cup/etc. in the exchange? Seems that more and more of the organizations giving to charities are using that to make themselves $$$.

Maybe I'm just being jaded and bitchy - which is entirely possible and probable, I'm tired, I didn't make much in commision today and I can't remember where my family is, no I didn't misplace them or anything, I just can't remember where they are supposed to be right now and I hope I'm not supposed to be picking them up. I need a nap.

Vanilla Syrup, Racing and Fall Is Here

Last night was just me and the Little People. K had to assist Petey on an important mission so he wouldn't be home until the wee hours of this morning.

Fabulous Dinner (According To The Little People)

When it's just me and the kids I usually don't make a big dinner (I had intended to make chicken and eggplant parmesan). A lot of times we'll have sandwiches and salad or they'll have a TV dinner and I'll have a salad. Last night due to my incredible cravings for eggs with cheese and yummy sausage, I made French toast for the little ones (the eggs with cheese and sausage I made for myself). As I rarely ever make things that require syrup, we had none. I don't really like syrup though - real maple syrup is okay (but expensive) but most of the other stuff is just nasty. After commiting to French toast I realized that I would either have to walk to the store (which the kids had already said they didn't want to do) or just make some. Makeing was the easiest thing to do so we had the nummiest vanilla syrup to go with the French toast.

After dinner it was outside to burn off some excess energy (for the kids, not for me, I have no excesses of energy). I had the Little People run up and down the sidewalk. I raced with them when they started to get bored with running. After the races I looked up at the trees over the creek and realized "Oh my, fall really is here." It actually LOOKS like fall is here looking at the trees and all. This really pretty fall look only lasts for about a week around here, so it was a nice surprise. Of course it's still hot here and it's humid so it doesn't feel anything like fall. It would be nice if we had 4 actual seasons here in Texas.

Is This Normal?

I've had two men I previously dated contact me in two weeks. I haven't dated either in about 2 years. Haven't spoke to either in about as long also. Both want to see me and were disapointed that I have a wonderful boyfriend. And they both ended the conversation with something along the lines of 'if you change your mind, let me know, I'd love to see you'. Hmmm... it's been 2 years, I'm not that 'unforgetable'. Is it NORMAL for a guy to just out of the blue contact someone from 2 years ago for a date/sex/etc.? Strikes me as odd, but what do I know?

Anyway, they both said some really nice things to me (yes I know they were just hopeing their lines would lead to sex or whatever, but sometimes it's nice to hear some flattery). Good luck to them on finding someone else. I'm quite happy with XXX in my life.

Sidewalk Gallery Part II



Tonight I took the Little People out to play outside (to minimize the amount of mess they were making in the house also). We completed more of our sidewalk art gallery with the help of some of the neighborhood kids.


Who would have thought that a bag full of sidewalk chalk and some hoola hoops would make my front step THE place to come play.

How The Charm Me #3458

Put a doll cap on the cat and proclaim "She's a baby!" while giving me a cute look. Cat humiliation is endearing.

Overheard At The Bus Stop...
Or Welfare Mamma Rollcall!

Her: You didn't know she was mine?
Him: Uh-uh.
Her: Nee-Nee! Cedra! Bri! Cedrick! Myron! Get over here!
(*note the one son isn't in the group as he's been suspended from the bus for 30 days)
Her: Bri! Bri! Bri! What is wrong with you???

Me: *thinking, not speaking* What is wrong with YOU not her???

I'm really tripped by this woman - she's the one with the son with discipline issues who's daddy is locked up. I don't know that she IS a welfare mamma but she's got the whole sterotypical welfare mamma look and attitude. She's been at the bus stop in her night gown and slippers. Well I don't know that I've ever seen her in any other foot wear other than slippers honestly. She's a big woman, nothing wrong with that, and she comes off as being rather lazy - she generally drives her kids to the bus stop instead of walking the block to it, and she often remarks that she's going back home to go back to sleep. She perplexes me.

How To Irritate Me #123

Kick your fluffy bedding of pine shavings out of your cage and onto the floor right after I finish vaccuming the area.

How To Charm Me #2034

Stick your cute little gerbil face up against the bars of the cage as I hold the vaccum cleaner hose up to it.

Why Cats? Why?

WHY does a cat HAVE to get on the clean, fresh from the dryer laundry right after I put it on the sofa to fold? Why????

WHY does a cat have to leap into your seat when you get up to get a glass of water? WHY?? And why do they look so freaking surprised and insulted when they get moved from that spot? It happens EVERY time so why be surprised?

WHY is it that regardless of the temperature in the house a cat will sit on an unattended heating pad as though it's sub zero temperatures in the house?

Seeing Red


I recolored my hair today while Cabbage Patch napped and it's back to the color I prefer. I'm happy.

Report Cards

Today we got Super Girl's report card at her parent teacher meeting. She's doing fine, right on track. The teacher did say she talks to much. heh. I wonder where she got that from? *looking innocent*

Geek Alert!!

Ack! My geek gene has kicked in! Today I saw that Dallas Comicon is this weekend and I'm all excited about going. I am such a geek! I haven't been to a comic convention in over 10 years. It's cheap too! $5 to get in and the kids get in for free! Ohhhh I get to introduce my progeny to comic book geek mecca. *moment of revered silence*

And the guests! The guests! Brent Spiner (Data, Star Trek TNG), Michael Dorn (Worf, ST TNG) he is one hot man, John De Lancie (Q, ST TNG), Wil Wheaton (Wesley, ST TNG), Chase Masterson (Letta, ST DS9), Orli Shoshan (Star Wars E2/E3: Jedi - Shaak Ti), Herb Jefferson Jr. (Battlestar Galactica: Lt. Boomer), Peter Mayhew (Star Wars 3,4,5 & 6: Chewbacca) and the two that I'm really excited about... Kevin Conroy (Batman The Animated Series: Voice of Batman and Bruce Wayne) and Arleen Sorkin (Batman The Animated Series: Voice of Harley Quinn). I love the animated series, Harley is my favorite vilianess. Oh and some people from Buffy, but I have no clue who they are. Isn't that the coolest line up??? (just nod) I mean Chewbacca is gonna be there!!! I'm not a huge Star Wars geek (but my hidden Star Trek geekness is becoming harder to hide) - but damn it's Chewbacca!!!

Okay, deep breath... whew... okay, I'm fine now. I have to work Saturday as usual. I had considered taking the day off to go to a carnival at Super Girl's school but opted not to as I really NEED the money, now I wish I had bailed! Whaaaa! If nothing else I'll be able to go Sunday after work.

This concludes this totally geeked out moment.

Mavs Game


There are a few perks to where K works - just a few. The owners of the company have a suite at the American Airlines center and they often offer up tickets to sporting events to the employees. We've gone to a couple of Stars games and usually it's pretty damn cool to be in the suite. Last night it kind of sucked. The game sucked, for some reason our platinum tickets did not include a parking pass so we had to drive around and find parking that was less than $15 to park and still within walking distance, the suite wasn't catered with food this time so K had to go find food and for some reason buying food on the Platinum level means playing a Platinum price - he spent $40 for 2 hot dogs, a hamburger, a chicken sandwich and two cokes. Yikes. I'm not sure why they didn't cater the event this time, they have all the others - with less people in attendance. I didn't really mind having to buy my food, just kind of shocked at the prices. So it wasn't all that I had hoped for. We left at the beginning of the 4th period as the game was pretty sloppy and the Mavs were still losing. Oh well, it was a night out and it didn't involve being abducted by aliens (ohhh those anal probes are uncomfortable!).

Bad MoJo From A Cup Of Joe?

As I sit here looking forward to my third (and final) cup of coffee for the day, I read THIS article that says that moderate to high levels of coffee consuption could be bad. (apparently more than 1 cup a day is considered moderate to high for this study) Hmmm... Something to think about, but I'm still making that cup of coffee.

Political Cartoon

heh... not the best, but John Kerry in drag is funny.

UFO

Seems the woman who started it all with alien abduction stories has passed on. Read the story here.

My favorite line in the whole article is: Hill had gone a bit commercial herself, trying to fight UFO fantasies with a 1995 self-published book, "A Common Sense Approach to UFOs." Bwhahahahahaha! That title is too much! "A Common Sense Approach to UFOs." heh... Say it out loud, it's even funnier. Too bad she didn't come out with a companion book titled "A Common Sense Approach to Alien Abductions." hehe... I'm so tempted to find that book, I'm not sure I could actually read it, maybe my father-in-law (who has claimed to have been abducted himself) would read it though.

Sidewalk Art Gallery


Tonight in a desperate attempt to save my sanity while I awaited K's return home and for the start of his shift of PARENT I let the Tiny Terrorists draw on the sidewalk. Well let me correct myself, in a desperate moment I opened the door in hopes that K would be driving up, Super Girl being keen of eye, saw her opportunity to become covered in colorful chalk dust and grabbed all her chalk and dashed out the door, knowing that I was exhausted mentally and physically and would have more trouble herding her and Cabbage Patch back indoors. I was also hopeing that the fresh air would help release some of the Demons of Chaos and Whining that were inhabiting Cabbage Patch - that did not work.

We did however create some lovely works of art.


Here are Super Girl's lovely house art and Cabbage Patch's abstract work.

Angry Albino Sock Monkey Is Watching YOU!

Gerbil Condo


Thanks to B, Bea now has a new cage. It looks like a swank gerbil condo. She's been running all over the new cage and won't come out at all now. heh. I'm cool with that, one behind the refrigerator incident is enough for me. We now have on happy rodent (and I'm not talking about the one that lives in the Magic Kingdom).

8:30 AM, Looks Like The Start Of A Great Day!


I know you're probably pondering why I'd have a stupid picture of my alarm clock. I took that to commemorate this day as a rare day of sleeping in. I slept in until 8:30 am! The Little People slept in until shortly after that.

Super Girl's school has an inservice day or something today, so she's off - which is not a great thing, as I have gotten quite used to her being gone from 7:45 until 3:45. I'll survive though, I prepared. A quick trip to the library yesterday yielded some books and a couple of DVDs. I have a few errands to run today that should wear out the kids and keep my house in a relatively clean disposition.

Anyway, just had to brag about my sleeping in!