Gotta Keep 'em Separated


I only decorated 3 cakes today. One was just plain ugly. This one I actually fucked up - TWICE.


Ah if only I actually gave a shit about football I'd probably think this was COOL.


No worries, it's what the customer wants.

Cake Concerns

I've come to realize that MANY of you are just coming to this BLOG to look at CAKE! You voyeuristic people! Taking a peep at my CAKE. I should be offended but I'm not. ;) My question is, should I start a CAKE BLOG with just photos and notes of the tasty artwork I've created and save this piece of trash blog for all the usual angst, perversion and talk of masturbation that you've all come to know and love? You make the call, CAKE or DEATH? Well you know, CAKE BLOG with a cake posted EVERY DAY or just leave it here for and let you slog through all my usual minutia of my posts to get to the tasty pictures.

Gingerbread Dreams

This week is incredibly busy at work. We have an enormous order of 67 full sheet cakes that have to be done by this weekend (the order got confirmed just this morning) plus two less people in the bakery to help out and all the regular orders as well as putting all my new cakes in the display case... I'm working 6 days a week for a bit. My brain is really on over load. I can't really think past the cake I'm doing at the very moment... well that AND the ONE THING I can NOT get off my mind - doing the big display wedding cake. (I keep dreaming of doing that!) Usually my brain not working isn't an issue and no one would even notice, except I am committed to doing that GINGERBREAD HOUSE for the contest. Gah! Brain on EMPTY! Panic! Panic! Danger Will Robinson! *flailing robot arms*

Just when I think my gingerbread house entrant is going to look like a shoe box with some Twizzlers glued to it, help arrived (so to speak). The brilliant and super sexy Bruce Willis is an endless supply of fabulous ideas for a gingerbread house. Geeky, sexy and talented in the kitchen... damn I need my vibrator now. So, I'm saved on the idea front. Just have to actually assemble and decorate the house.

NON CAKE Stuff

Lately I've been playing games with K. Now don't give me that look, I'm talking about actual games, not mind games (come on people, I've already stated that my brain is on EMPTY). We played domino's a week or two ago and last night and tonight was cards. AND we've been teaching the offspring to play. It's cute and frustrating. I have no idea how my former step father had the patience to teach us to play games, much less Diplomacy at 9. Anyway, it's quite fun when I squash my intensely competitive nature. Eventually I won't feel any guilt when I beat them... kind of like how I feel when I kick K's ass. (Though he did win at hearts tonight.)

Okay, I'm off to finish my hair. Enjoy the cake pics and give me your feedback.

Dream Job

Wtf? This whole being the ONLY decorator is getting to me. Last night I was dreaming about decorating wedding cakes. Not horrible, but honestly I'd so much rather dream of molesting Bruce Willis.

No AMAZING cakes today. This is one I put in the freezer case. Pretty, nothing special though.
And here is most of what I did today. 27 cakes. That works out to 16.6 minutes to decorate each cake. Yes, yes, I know it's just MENTAL to have it worked out to how many minutes it took me to do each, but... WHATEVER!

Okay, I'm tired now. I'll blog more when my brain works again.

Damn Daylight Savings Time

After an amazing night I had to get up EARLY this morning to go to work. I ended up getting up at what I thought was 6 am but was really 5 am because I forgot about DST and setting my clock back an hour until I was sitting in front of the computer eating my breakfast and wishing I was still in bed. Then I looked at the time on my computer which seemed damn early to me. And I looked at my cell phone which said 6 something in the morning and then I looked at the microwave (because I was sleepy and nothing made sense) and I looked up the time on the web (WHAT? I just said I was SLEEPY) and THEN it dawned on me. I should still be SLEEPING! FUCK! I reset my alarm for 7 which would actually be 6 since I couldn't think enough to figure out how to reset my clock on my cell phone and went back to bed.

Getting up at the real 6 am was better but only slightly as my cat had decided she needed to perch on me and purr loudly for that 45 minutes. Damn cat.

I get to work at 7 am. During the morning I realize that I wasn't scheduled until 8 am. Fuck. I bake a cake that was ordered and then find that someone had already made the cake. Damn it. I drain the sink of water and manage to flood part of the bakery. Brilliant. I mop up the mess and manage to spill the mop bucket in a dry part of the bakery. Mutha fuck! At least I don't work in the meat market, today would have been my day to lose a finger or two on the meat slicer.

Fabulous Cake Of The Day!

Actually these are from YESTERDAY. Today's cakes weren't FABULOUS, just eh, cakes.

This is now in the display case, replacing the puppy that has been there forever.
I went back today and added whisker marks.
This was a really special cake. The person it was for was a Vietnam vet and a former Marine who is dieing. His daughter and granddaughters wanted the cake to be really nice for him. I drew the Marine emblem by hand.

3 AM Random Thoughts

Shit... It's like 3 in the fucking morning and I can't sleep. I hate that. I don't usually have sleep issues, except maybe not getting enough sleep or having my nap interrupted. But now I can't! I can only surmise that my inability to slumber sweetly dreaming of kinky things to do to Bruce Willis is due to my stressing over all this cake decorator bullshit. And THAT my friends is just damn stupid on my part. This is my dream job (well almost, if I got paid a most fabulous amount of money, then it really would be). And now that it's MINE and ALL MINE, I'm freaking the fuck out. Maybe it's because I'm terrified I'll fuck up. And it doesn't help that my supervisor and several other people at work keep telling me how EVERYONE has such confidence in me that I'll do a great job. Not helping people, just bring me Prozac. Yes, yes I KNOW it's just whacked to be insecure because everyone is telling you how much they believe in my abilities, I'm insane you should know that by now.

Moving on...

I'm devastated that all the GOOD chocolate is GONE already. Not incredulous, just devastated. And yes it's all my doing. You think I'm going to SHARE the Reese's with the offspring? My goodness I BIRTHED them, do I really have to SHARE the good chocolate? Bah! Let them get their own! Okay, maybe they DID actually get this chocolate, but I'm their mother and they don't pay rent.

Is it too early to eat breakfast? And is left over chili from last night an appropriate and healthful choice for breakfast? If I put it over eggs does it make it better for breakfast?

One of my cats snores. I have a 5 lb cat who snores loud enough for me to hear it while I was in the bath tub and they were sleeping somewhere in my bed room. I wonder if a vet can do that snoring surgery on cats. Or better yet, I wonder if I could get my cat to wear Breath Right at night. Anyone want to help me slap that on my cat?

And again I ask, WHY is all the good chocolate gone? I should go back to bed, it's almost 4 am and I need to get up at 6 am. Must get back to the business of dreaming up naughty things to do to Bruce Willis and stop with the anxiety.

Good night fair reader, I know this post sucks, but what do you expect for this time of the morning.

Eye Candy



Out of all the candy my kids harvested for me... er got for Halloween, THIS is by far the MOST disturbing and yet totally cool! The moment I saw it I called dibs on it and forbade the Tiny Terrorist from eating it..kind of like I did with all the Reeses, Twix and Almond Joy (which sadly this year was only a few of each). Unlike the chocolate I laid claim to, I had/have no intentions on eating this repulsive little confection.

They eye candy is absolute genius and I really wish I knew WHO was giving this out so I could knock on that door and tell them how fucking awesome they are (I'd also like to know who was giving out the nasty peanut butter taffy and scripture mints so I could tell them how much they SUCK). The BEST part of the eye is that it's SQUISHY! Making it much to disgusting to actually eat (it comes it a little form fitting plastic container to keep it from getting smashed).

When Did This Become A Cake Blog?


The second tier of the wedding cake.

Today was the other decorator's last day. I went in to observe the wedding cake and to my surprise I ended up doing the whole thing. I think I did a damn good job on my first wedding cake.

I took my camera with me today because I anticipated doing a lion for the display case. I didn't get the lion done with having to do the wedding cake.
I did get the opportunity to take better photos of my cakes in the display case.
Pink and brown are really popular colors.
Fall leaves. I actually wanted to do snow flakes but I thought it was just a tad to early for that.
I really want to take a bite out of this.


I did find photos of my first lion cake that I did back in July.
I've changed the design slightly since then, but it's still basically the same.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Today when the offspring came home from school Super Girl told me there was a banana throwing incident on the bus today. And laughed. I thought maybe they had been given 'special' brownies at lunch today and this was all in their imagination.

Maybe 10 minutes after they get home I get a phone call from the bus driver. He was quite concerned and wanted to tell me about the BANANA throwing incident. He was concerned that Super Girl was probably upset because he had yelled at the banana throwing offenders and told them he would call their parents and write them up. At this point I looked at my child who was utterly unconcerned and had not mentioned being written up or even being yelled at. The bus driver explained that even though my Tiny Terrorist had in fact thrown a banana it was only after some other monkey on the bus had throw it at her. I had to put my had over my mouth to stifle a laugh through out the rest of the call as the ever so concerned bus driver assured me that The Tiny Terrorists were well behaved and a complete joy to have on the bus and would not be written up in light of the fact that Super Girl had not initiated the throwing of the banana.

I hung up (quite amused) and asked Super Girl to tell me exactly what happened with the Banana Incident. I tried to sound concerned and slightly angry to see if she was even slightly concerned by the bus drivers threat. She said that a mean girl threw the banana at her and she threw it back, then it got thrown back at her and she just put it on the floor. Nope, wasn't concerned by the bus driver.

So, I'm a bad mom. My response was to just laugh. How ridiculous is it to be called about a banana throwing incident?

New Sheriff In Town

Since I'm now the ONLY decorator at the store, I've been told I have to put things in the display case to show my work. It's so freaking AWESOME! And kind of scary too. It's ALL MY RESPONSIBILITY.

Usually it's like one LONG day of playing so no worries. This is one of the cakes I put in the case. I wanted to show MY STYLE.
This is one of my favorites. Just because it looks TASTY.

Two layers of chocolate cake, chocolate butter cream frosting, chocolate ganache on top with lovely chocolate roses.

I'm really excited about all of this - excited and terrified, but more excited. Soon there will be a sign near the display case saying 'Cakes by JUDY'. Cakes by me. Can you fucking believe it????? I'm still in shock and trying to not be a total SPAZ or be to happy that the other decorator is leaving. I'm trying to embrace my ZEN and not look like a bitch who's happy she's going. But... I AM HAPPY! Because THIS IS SOOOOOO AWESOME!

No really, this IS AWESOME. When I started this job I said to my sister (and ANYONE else who would listen) that I wanted to be fully trained within 6 months and then be a big time decorator at a bakery. Well it's been 5 months, I'm trained and ... I'm THE decorator. I really didn't imagine it would happen at the store, but hey I'm cool with this - working anywhere else would mean I couldn't walk to work and I really LOVE being able to walk to work.

So yeah, I still can't believe it! This is turning out to be such a FABULOUS year!

Gingerbread Thoughts

I ended up going with Santa's Workshop for the theme. Thank you to the three of you who made suggestions, sent links and sent photos for ideas. They were all AWESOME. I really really wanted to do a big ass gingerbread castle and have a Renaissance Christmas theme but honestly, I couldn't figure out how to pull that all together. And really, I just wanted to make an a gingerbread castle. So Santa's Workshop it is, and only because I really have no idea what is expected in this competition. I don't have any of the rules or anything. *sigh* I'll make it work somehow.

Wow, aren't you glad I'm a cake decorator? I'm sure everyone was really tired of hearing about my lactose intolerance or my mountain of laundry that never seems to get folded. Dude, did you know that there is MILK in mashed potatoes? Yeah well I didn't. Opps sorry, me and my lactose intolerance.

Happy Halloween!






Boo!

Pumpkin Carving 2007



Photos of Super Girl's pumpkin. Of course she wanted a cat. Meow.

Awesome Cake Of The Day!


This one didn't photograph very well with my camera phone. It's amazingly cool though. The person who go it wanted a stupid red border on it though and that kind of made it less cool.


Frankie.

A little too much crap on this one, but I like how the air brushed background looks.

Moving on...

Today I got the word that as of Monday I'll be the ONLY cake decorator at the store. The other decorator is moving to the new store and I'll be the new sheriff in town. *shines up imaginary star* Let me tell you, that is exciting. And fucking SCARY. I'll be going in on Friday to help with a big ass wedding cake since I'll have a big ass wedding cake to do the next Saturday and I've never done that alone.

The COOL news is that I'll be the one doing the Gingerbread House for the big ass contest. YAY!!!! Now I have to submit my theme on Thursday. I have... NOTHING! HELP me Interweb! Give me ideas! And nothing that involves skulls or severed limbs, nothing copyrighted and remember this is for CHRISTMAS so ixnay on the cool Chanukah stuff. Seriously - give me ideas, be graphic (with your ideas, no nudity), leave in comments or send me e-mails, text message, phone calls... no mental telephathy - I get that all confused with the voices that are normally in my head. Now go, find me ideas! Now! Now! Now!

This Is How My Cat Wakes Me.

TRF Halloween Weekend Photos

It rocked.


The Shazmeister. My ride for the weekend.

And... The GAY BOYFRIEND!!! This was before the fight.

Grandpa Hunter, my favorite Jewish dog. We caught up over a nice cup of coffee and a Kosher breakfast

Bret's bitchin' new coat!

Me as a little retard fairy who spent the whole day getting her wings caught on things. But damn I looked cute! I really need red feathers like that.

What the hell is that? It's awfully pretty in a bizarre alien way.

Queen Mystic and Duchess Fate (me) right before the queen threatened to rip my wings off. Benevolent queen my ass! (kidding!)

Bast looking as beautiful as ever.

ummm... hmmm... I don't think I can explain this one. I just put it up here because Sarge likes it A LOT. ;)

King of the NERDS?

Or King of the NERDS?

Mystic is such a CRAB sometimes.

Arrrrrr! I'm an OGRE!

Me and the Gay Boyfriend right before the booze fueled argument around the camp fire.

Let them eat CAKE! I loves me some cake!

Ya know what they say, ciggaretes will kill you. (Death really becomes her.)

The King Clan. (Do a little Where's Waldo and find the REAL Asian family amongst the fakes.) Surprisingly we were SUPER popular with the Asians who kept taking photos with the King family.)

Su King Yu on break. Practice makes perfect.

Me and my broder Fu King Yu. One day only! Special! Fuki, Suki $5!

The lovely Queen Mystic in her awesome new bodice and feathers. Hmmmm... Such nice feathers, they'll look so good with my eyes... er... um... they look so fabulous on HER. ;)

Even geshia gotta eat some time.

Awwww long lost cousin. Cum Ing and Wong Way. Funny thing happen on the way to the theater, they are walking past some Asian people and one says "He has big hat. I think he at wrong carnival."

Sho Mi Dik.

Okay, that's all, just a random sample of my photos. I can't wait for Asian Invasion at Scarby!