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Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sneaky Evil Dairy!
Yesterday I made a most fabulous pot roast in a tasty mushroom gravy. I'm a Southern Girl, I loves me some gravy. I don't eat it often but damn I could eat it just about every day. Because I don't eat it often I forget that it usually has MILK in it. And that the instant (I love instant gravy) usually has lots of 'milk solids' in it. Last night I didn't sleep well, all today I wondered why I was so tired and felt kind of icky and sort of like I'd had some diary products. This evening it dawned on me "Oh hey, milk solids in the GRAVY stupid." Fuck, it's like a truly CRUEL joke since I have a deep affection for all things dairy. KARMA Why doth thou hate me so????
Okay enough bitching.
It's time for photos of CAKE! But since I didn't make anything fabulous today, it's photos of CAT! Woohoo! Which is almost as good as a CAKE but not edible or anything.
Here's Sunshine being attacked by a dino. A VERY VERY small dino.
And here she is after having decimated said dino. Notice the look of satisfaction.
Yesterday I made a most fabulous pot roast in a tasty mushroom gravy. I'm a Southern Girl, I loves me some gravy. I don't eat it often but damn I could eat it just about every day. Because I don't eat it often I forget that it usually has MILK in it. And that the instant (I love instant gravy) usually has lots of 'milk solids' in it. Last night I didn't sleep well, all today I wondered why I was so tired and felt kind of icky and sort of like I'd had some diary products. This evening it dawned on me "Oh hey, milk solids in the GRAVY stupid." Fuck, it's like a truly CRUEL joke since I have a deep affection for all things dairy. KARMA Why doth thou hate me so????
Okay enough bitching.
It's time for photos of CAKE! But since I didn't make anything fabulous today, it's photos of CAT! Woohoo! Which is almost as good as a CAKE but not edible or anything.
Here's Sunshine being attacked by a dino. A VERY VERY small dino. 
And here she is after having decimated said dino. Notice the look of satisfaction. Sunday, March 23, 2008
Chocolate Bunny Day Fun
After K left to spend the day with his boyfriend and family, I took tasty pot roast out of the fridge and got it ready to cook for dinner. Mmmmm... me loves some dead animal.
*Disclaimer* No actual POT in roast. Not approved for smoking... unless it's in a grill, not a pipe.
Then we did what every other Jewish kid is doing today! We colored eggs! And I just have to say - I LOVE to do this! K only cooked 2 dozen eggs so, we only had that many to do... minus three which we ate.
Here is Super Girl examining the shade of pink her egg has achieved.
Our lovelies. There was NO arguing or bloodshed during the egg coloring. Everyone - even ME took turns. You can see it but several of the eggs are multi colored. I wish I had bought eggs earlier in the week and actually emptied the shells but kept them intact. I would have LOVED to decorate them more. Seems kind of silly to take a great deal of effort with an egg you're just going to make egg salad out of.
After K returned home and we watched a Godzilla movie, I prodded K into hiding eggs for the Tiny Terrorists to find. It was hilarious. The eggs that they kept overlooking were the ones in plain sight. Like on the grill.
Or my personal favorite, hiding behind a lonely blade of grass next to a tree.
It was a lovely day. And ya know what's even BETTER? Spring Break is OVER! The Tiny Terrorists are BACK TO SCHOOL tomorrow! It's been kind of a shitty Spring Break for them what with them being sick for most of it and not being able to do squat. I'm sure they are looking forward to heading back to school.
After K left to spend the day with his boyfriend and family, I took tasty pot roast out of the fridge and got it ready to cook for dinner. Mmmmm... me loves some dead animal.
*Disclaimer* No actual POT in roast. Not approved for smoking... unless it's in a grill, not a pipe. 
Then we did what every other Jewish kid is doing today! We colored eggs! And I just have to say - I LOVE to do this! K only cooked 2 dozen eggs so, we only had that many to do... minus three which we ate.
Here is Super Girl examining the shade of pink her egg has achieved. 
Our lovelies. There was NO arguing or bloodshed during the egg coloring. Everyone - even ME took turns. You can see it but several of the eggs are multi colored. I wish I had bought eggs earlier in the week and actually emptied the shells but kept them intact. I would have LOVED to decorate them more. Seems kind of silly to take a great deal of effort with an egg you're just going to make egg salad out of. 
After K returned home and we watched a Godzilla movie, I prodded K into hiding eggs for the Tiny Terrorists to find. It was hilarious. The eggs that they kept overlooking were the ones in plain sight. Like on the grill.
Or my personal favorite, hiding behind a lonely blade of grass next to a tree. It was a lovely day. And ya know what's even BETTER? Spring Break is OVER! The Tiny Terrorists are BACK TO SCHOOL tomorrow! It's been kind of a shitty Spring Break for them what with them being sick for most of it and not being able to do squat. I'm sure they are looking forward to heading back to school.
An Estah Miracle!
K had to run to a store and find sour cream to take to some family thing he's going to with his boyfriend. Apparently he ran into the Estah bunnah and gave him what for in reference to MY not getting a chocolate bunnah. Pictured above is MY Chocolate Estah Bunnah still in the package with Super Girl's unpackaged and still intact next to it. We had to take the photo like that because we all know that as soon as my bunnah claws it's way out of the packaging it'll go directly into my mouth. Anyway, I'm off to enjoy my bunnah. All I can say is, the squeaky wheel gets the chocolate. Now if you'll excuse I have to go rip this package open and devour my bunnah.
K had to run to a store and find sour cream to take to some family thing he's going to with his boyfriend. Apparently he ran into the Estah bunnah and gave him what for in reference to MY not getting a chocolate bunnah. Pictured above is MY Chocolate Estah Bunnah still in the package with Super Girl's unpackaged and still intact next to it. We had to take the photo like that because we all know that as soon as my bunnah claws it's way out of the packaging it'll go directly into my mouth. Anyway, I'm off to enjoy my bunnah. All I can say is, the squeaky wheel gets the chocolate. Now if you'll excuse I have to go rip this package open and devour my bunnah.
Chocolate Bunny Day!
Except... there are no chocolate bunnies here! WHAT? I don't get a chocolate bunny today?!?!?!?! It's because I'm Jewish right? That is so wrong! We Jew's like chocolates too! I don't even care what shape they are. That's fine, that's fine, the Christians can hoard their chocolate bunnies, I know that next month is Passover and we'll just hoard all the matzah! Oh... you don't want any.... well okay, go back to your chocolate bunnies and Easter ham then.
Since I have a lovely day off as the store is closed to allow us 'to worship with our families', I've made MUFFINS! Because who doesn't feel a tad reverent at the sight of a hot fresh plate full of pious blueberry muffins? Can I get an A-MEN?!
Don't dog me about how beat up my pan looks, it was my mothers, which doesn't make it sanctified or anything, it just means it's older than dirt.
And on a more serious note, I wish all of you (who celebrate it) an amazing Easter and that it's more than just baskets of chocolate bunnies and colored eggs, that you do feel the joy and happiness from the gift that your savior gave you. (Don't give me that funny look, I taught Sunday School for 9 years, I know the story.) Happy Easter all of you.
Except... there are no chocolate bunnies here! WHAT? I don't get a chocolate bunny today?!?!?!?! It's because I'm Jewish right? That is so wrong! We Jew's like chocolates too! I don't even care what shape they are. That's fine, that's fine, the Christians can hoard their chocolate bunnies, I know that next month is Passover and we'll just hoard all the matzah! Oh... you don't want any.... well okay, go back to your chocolate bunnies and Easter ham then.
Since I have a lovely day off as the store is closed to allow us 'to worship with our families', I've made MUFFINS! Because who doesn't feel a tad reverent at the sight of a hot fresh plate full of pious blueberry muffins? Can I get an A-MEN?!
Don't dog me about how beat up my pan looks, it was my mothers, which doesn't make it sanctified or anything, it just means it's older than dirt.
And on a more serious note, I wish all of you (who celebrate it) an amazing Easter and that it's more than just baskets of chocolate bunnies and colored eggs, that you do feel the joy and happiness from the gift that your savior gave you. (Don't give me that funny look, I taught Sunday School for 9 years, I know the story.) Happy Easter all of you.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Saturday Cakes
The horseshoe shaped flowers is to go around the doll they will set on this cake.
It's to celebrate an adoption. I love the flower garland.
As promised, Dawn's baby shower cake! I was really pleased with it. Though Crystal nearly gave me a heart attack by saying that I misspelled the name! Then she said "Just kidding!" Sooooo evil.
Enjoy, I am tired I must have done eleventytwelve billion cakes today. What's up with all these March birthdays? Oh yeah, we are also closed tomorrow for Chocolate Bunny Day. I'm going to go watch Torchwood and cry about not getting a chocolate bunny tomorrow.
The horseshoe shaped flowers is to go around the doll they will set on this cake. 
It's to celebrate an adoption. I love the flower garland.
As promised, Dawn's baby shower cake! I was really pleased with it. Though Crystal nearly gave me a heart attack by saying that I misspelled the name! Then she said "Just kidding!" Sooooo evil. Enjoy, I am tired I must have done eleventytwelve billion cakes today. What's up with all these March birthdays? Oh yeah, we are also closed tomorrow for Chocolate Bunny Day. I'm going to go watch Torchwood and cry about not getting a chocolate bunny tomorrow.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Some Days I Really Hate Customers
I fucked up a couple of cakes today. My mind was elsewhere. I made one cake with the wrong icing. The woman didn't notice when she picked up the cake even though the icing was WHITE whipped icing and not CHOCOLATE buttercream. She called from home to complain.
Then, a woman came in to pick up a cake she ordered.
This is the cake she pointed at and said she wanted it like, but she wanted writing on it.
I showed her this cake and said I liked the scrolls better than the dots. She agreed and said to put a bow on it not roses and use dark and light blue.
This is what I made. She forgot we discussed scrolls instead of dots but was fine with the scrolls. But the part that made me want to slap her was that she kept saying she thought it would be BIGGER. Mind you the cake she pointed at is the EXACT same size as what she got (which is an 1/8 of a sheet doubled - one layer chocolate and one white). She said that since she ordered it half and half she thought it wouldn't be stacked. Because somehow I was telepathically supposed to know that even though she pointed at a stacked cake she meant a single layer cake.
Tomorrow I make Dawn's baby shower cake - theme pirates, colors red and blue. Wait and see.
*Geeky Game Talk Alert* Last night was the Magic rematch with my sweetie Sarge. My incredible dumb luck with games shone through. Sarge asked me if I wanted to make my own deck and I said yes if it didn't take too long. He gave me a few guidelines and helped me find the color of cards and I randomly chose from that pile. Then I proceeded to defeat him twice. Granted they were not humbling defeats like I suffered during our first round but victories for me still. Now that I've told this story and have the urge to hone my deck more (ie take out the cards I can't play that I accidentally put in) I've probably just doomed my deck to continual suckage. Ah well, I will savor this victory for another hour or so.
And now... I'm done.
To all of my Catholic and Catholic-ish friends, I wish you a happy Good Friday.
I fucked up a couple of cakes today. My mind was elsewhere. I made one cake with the wrong icing. The woman didn't notice when she picked up the cake even though the icing was WHITE whipped icing and not CHOCOLATE buttercream. She called from home to complain.
Then, a woman came in to pick up a cake she ordered.
This is the cake she pointed at and said she wanted it like, but she wanted writing on it.
I showed her this cake and said I liked the scrolls better than the dots. She agreed and said to put a bow on it not roses and use dark and light blue.
This is what I made. She forgot we discussed scrolls instead of dots but was fine with the scrolls. But the part that made me want to slap her was that she kept saying she thought it would be BIGGER. Mind you the cake she pointed at is the EXACT same size as what she got (which is an 1/8 of a sheet doubled - one layer chocolate and one white). She said that since she ordered it half and half she thought it wouldn't be stacked. Because somehow I was telepathically supposed to know that even though she pointed at a stacked cake she meant a single layer cake.Tomorrow I make Dawn's baby shower cake - theme pirates, colors red and blue. Wait and see.
*Geeky Game Talk Alert* Last night was the Magic rematch with my sweetie Sarge. My incredible dumb luck with games shone through. Sarge asked me if I wanted to make my own deck and I said yes if it didn't take too long. He gave me a few guidelines and helped me find the color of cards and I randomly chose from that pile. Then I proceeded to defeat him twice. Granted they were not humbling defeats like I suffered during our first round but victories for me still. Now that I've told this story and have the urge to hone my deck more (ie take out the cards I can't play that I accidentally put in) I've probably just doomed my deck to continual suckage. Ah well, I will savor this victory for another hour or so.
And now... I'm done.
To all of my Catholic and Catholic-ish friends, I wish you a happy Good Friday.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
16 Random Things About Me
Shana tagged me! Ah well, that's what best friends are for.
Here’s how you play: once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 16 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 8 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment ("You’re It") and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me back, let me know when you’ve posted your blog so I can see your answers.
1. I collect cow things and cow spotted things.
2. At one time I had over 200 stuffed cows.
3. I'm 5' 1.5" and I only realized that in the last couple of years - I thought I was 5'3" up until that rude awakening.
4. My ex is gay.
5. Yes he is the father of our kids.
6. The 'How?', well I am that good.
7. I own over the legal limit for vibrators.
8. I don't like things turning out to be an odd number. I have to have things in even numbers. K used to like to make me crazy by giving me 3 cookies.
9. I lost my virginity one month to the day before I turned 15.
10. It only took 15 minutes. He needed to learn what FOREPLAY was. Stupid Aggie!
11. I rarely watch television.
12. I want to lose 65 lbs this year. But realistically 30 would make me satisfied.
13. I vacillate between being completely insecure and being totally self confident.
14. I've never cheated even though I've been cheated on a lot.
15. I'm far too forgiving.
16. I'm an artist yet I often have trouble telling people that because I think my art work is shitty compared to many people.
Okay, that's done. I'm not tagging anyone. I just got off work and I really don't feel like running after anyone. Just do it if you want. ;)
Shana tagged me! Ah well, that's what best friends are for.
Here’s how you play: once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 16 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 8 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment ("You’re It") and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me back, let me know when you’ve posted your blog so I can see your answers.
1. I collect cow things and cow spotted things.
2. At one time I had over 200 stuffed cows.
3. I'm 5' 1.5" and I only realized that in the last couple of years - I thought I was 5'3" up until that rude awakening.
4. My ex is gay.
5. Yes he is the father of our kids.
6. The 'How?', well I am that good.
7. I own over the legal limit for vibrators.
8. I don't like things turning out to be an odd number. I have to have things in even numbers. K used to like to make me crazy by giving me 3 cookies.
9. I lost my virginity one month to the day before I turned 15.
10. It only took 15 minutes. He needed to learn what FOREPLAY was. Stupid Aggie!
11. I rarely watch television.
12. I want to lose 65 lbs this year. But realistically 30 would make me satisfied.
13. I vacillate between being completely insecure and being totally self confident.
14. I've never cheated even though I've been cheated on a lot.
15. I'm far too forgiving.
16. I'm an artist yet I often have trouble telling people that because I think my art work is shitty compared to many people.
Okay, that's done. I'm not tagging anyone. I just got off work and I really don't feel like running after anyone. Just do it if you want. ;)
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Just Make It STOP!
I mean the puking. I THOUGHT we had kicked the plague, but apparently I didn't realize Cousin Ebola was going to make a visit. 7:30 am Cabbage Patch came into my room to tell me her stomach hurt and promptly went Exorcist all in my bathroom. *sigh* She's been fine all day, but still she had to play the Southern Belle for part of the day.
Nothing else has happened today. Which is a shame because I erroneous thought I'd be able to catch up on some much needed things. HAH! Not so. Today the offspring were hell bent on NOT doing anything I asked them to do. Even when threatened. I resigned myself to only THINK about selling them on E-Bay and to watch crappy cartoons all day.
Tomorrow I'll be more interesting. I promise.
I mean the puking. I THOUGHT we had kicked the plague, but apparently I didn't realize Cousin Ebola was going to make a visit. 7:30 am Cabbage Patch came into my room to tell me her stomach hurt and promptly went Exorcist all in my bathroom. *sigh* She's been fine all day, but still she had to play the Southern Belle for part of the day.
Nothing else has happened today. Which is a shame because I erroneous thought I'd be able to catch up on some much needed things. HAH! Not so. Today the offspring were hell bent on NOT doing anything I asked them to do. Even when threatened. I resigned myself to only THINK about selling them on E-Bay and to watch crappy cartoons all day.
Tomorrow I'll be more interesting. I promise.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Unproductive Tuesday
My goodness I'm tired and I don't feel like I've really accomplished crap today. I even worked extra for an hour and a half. I think it's the rain. And SPRING BREAK. Damn that combo.
The only good thing about the combo is that Cabbage Patch is still clinging to her Southern Belle act of watching TV from my bed whilst parlaying a headache (which conveniently only emerges at the mention of work). Normally this wouldn't fly as they are only allowed 1 hour of television during the week days, but it's Spring Break, it's RAINING and for fucks sake the last thing I want to hear is the Tiny Terrorists fighting over who's singing the wrong words to the Scooby Doo theme song or who's going to get the latest and greatest (not so much) toy they see advertised (hint: neither of them).
Of course last night I was unpleasantly surprised by my discovery of not one but two halve eaten pieces of toast in my bed. Lovingly discarded by my very own progeny. Today I had a discussion with her that went like this, "Hey, ya know what I found in my bed last night?" "What?" "I found two half eaten pieces of toast." "oh." "Don't do that again. Do you hear me?" "I'm sorry mamma."
Moving on...
I did about 30 different Easter cakes today. Most of them small cakes, but some were bunny cakes and some were actually big chocolate chip cookies and not really cakes at all. I'm taking this as a sign that the whole Egg and Bunny holiday is approaching. Yay pagan holiday symbols made out of chocolate! Sorry, sorry, really I'm not making fun of the Christian holiday. I do love me some Easter chocolate though. Hey, I can't help it, I'm Jewish and all my holidays are about eating or not eating. I only wish we had one that was chocolate themed. Eight days of Chanukah but goodness who can handle eating latkes for eight freaking days? Certainly not I, and I think I'd have a heart attack by day 5 if I ate that much fried potatoes. Passover ushers in the 'Feast of Unleavened Bread' which just goes to show how very sarcastic Jews really are because honestly NO ONE can call matzo a 'FEAST'. And after a whole week of it, damn it's not feast, it really should involve little chocolates shaped like... one of the ten plagues or something like that. Hmmm... maybe not.
So tomorrows my day off and I'm hoping that I can distract the offspring enough to allow me to get some shit done. Or possibly a movie with the kids.
Wanna see some CAKE now? Of course you do!
This is the pretty pink and brown one I forgot to take photos of the other day. I know, I know, it's been done. It's still pretty and it's SOLD.
I LOVE this! The bunny lay on reminded me of the Happy Bunny. I had to fight the mighty temptation to put a caption on the bunny saying "Your pagan holiday symbols are funny." but I didn't. I wanted to, still do.
And... the BUNNY CAKE!
That's covered in coconut and airbrushed pink.
Damn cute, but too damn much work.
How your rainy Tuesday was delightful.
My goodness I'm tired and I don't feel like I've really accomplished crap today. I even worked extra for an hour and a half. I think it's the rain. And SPRING BREAK. Damn that combo.
The only good thing about the combo is that Cabbage Patch is still clinging to her Southern Belle act of watching TV from my bed whilst parlaying a headache (which conveniently only emerges at the mention of work). Normally this wouldn't fly as they are only allowed 1 hour of television during the week days, but it's Spring Break, it's RAINING and for fucks sake the last thing I want to hear is the Tiny Terrorists fighting over who's singing the wrong words to the Scooby Doo theme song or who's going to get the latest and greatest (not so much) toy they see advertised (hint: neither of them).
Of course last night I was unpleasantly surprised by my discovery of not one but two halve eaten pieces of toast in my bed. Lovingly discarded by my very own progeny. Today I had a discussion with her that went like this, "Hey, ya know what I found in my bed last night?" "What?" "I found two half eaten pieces of toast." "oh." "Don't do that again. Do you hear me?" "I'm sorry mamma."
Moving on...
I did about 30 different Easter cakes today. Most of them small cakes, but some were bunny cakes and some were actually big chocolate chip cookies and not really cakes at all. I'm taking this as a sign that the whole Egg and Bunny holiday is approaching. Yay pagan holiday symbols made out of chocolate! Sorry, sorry, really I'm not making fun of the Christian holiday. I do love me some Easter chocolate though. Hey, I can't help it, I'm Jewish and all my holidays are about eating or not eating. I only wish we had one that was chocolate themed. Eight days of Chanukah but goodness who can handle eating latkes for eight freaking days? Certainly not I, and I think I'd have a heart attack by day 5 if I ate that much fried potatoes. Passover ushers in the 'Feast of Unleavened Bread' which just goes to show how very sarcastic Jews really are because honestly NO ONE can call matzo a 'FEAST'. And after a whole week of it, damn it's not feast, it really should involve little chocolates shaped like... one of the ten plagues or something like that. Hmmm... maybe not.
So tomorrows my day off and I'm hoping that I can distract the offspring enough to allow me to get some shit done. Or possibly a movie with the kids.
Wanna see some CAKE now? Of course you do!
This is the pretty pink and brown one I forgot to take photos of the other day. I know, I know, it's been done. It's still pretty and it's SOLD.
I LOVE this! The bunny lay on reminded me of the Happy Bunny. I had to fight the mighty temptation to put a caption on the bunny saying "Your pagan holiday symbols are funny." but I didn't. I wanted to, still do.
And... the BUNNY CAKE!
That's covered in coconut and airbrushed pink.
Damn cute, but too damn much work.How your rainy Tuesday was delightful.
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Plague Has Left The Building!
It appears that everyone in Casa de Karmically Challenged has recovered from the plague. I did what I could to bring you all the high points of the illness via the internet. Think of me as your Virtual Plague Rat. ;) I kid, I kid. I'm sure at least one of the three of you who actually read this crap wondered why the hell I'd blog whilst suffering such illness and I have an answer for you. I am insane. Completely and utterly. No really, that's not it. No REALLY it's NOT. Sheesh. No the real reason is NaBloPoMo. No that's not an illness - dude really, stop trying to blame it on my shaky mental stability - it's... eh... click the damn link and go read about it. The short version - I'm posting EVERY DAY for the month of MARCH. Woohoo! Isn't that EXCITING! EVERY DAY a little piece of ME! It's like having me as one of those voices in your head. What? You don't have voices in your head? Yeah... me either... moving on.
So like I was saying - recovery is complete here. No one has puked in over 24 hours. This is a good thing. Though I can see how this is a useful diet aid for the super models (5 lbs in 2 days), it's rather inconvenient and somewhat uncomfortable. I'll stick with my current method, which thanks for asking, is working rather well for me and I've lost 26 lbs (I'm not counting the 5 lost from the plague, I know they'll reappear like magic as soon as I finish this glass of water) since July. Of course now that I've just mentioned this to you internet, it'll mean that I'll gain 30 lbs in the next 2 weeks.
So the Tiny Terrorists are well, though Cabbage Patch is still rather DRAMATIC. As she has taken a liking to lying in my bed and watching television like some Southern Belle. In order to have a legitimate claim to the position she claims to have a 'headache' which mysteriously vanished when she went to play outside today and reappeared when I asked for help in the kitchen tonight. It's bullshit, but ya know, it's kind of cute bullshit AND since the girls are in different rooms, they aren't arguing! And THAT my friends makes her Southern Belle act worth tolerating. Let's just hope she doesn't start fake fainting. ;)
So yeah, jumping to something completely different now... Scarby starts soon and I'm not sure I have anything to wear now that I've lost 26 lbs. I guess it really shouldn't matter since now that I'll be working on paying that $1660 to Satan and his minions... er.. TX Dept. of Public Service, I'm not going to be able to make it to Scarby more than maybe twice. Still, I want to go in garb and damn I'm not sure if my favorite red corset fits anymore - when I made it a few years ago it laced all the way closed and I was 10 lbs heavier than I am now. My pretty gold side lacing corset, well my darling offspring spilt white paint on it so.... it's ruined and that kind of pisses me off, leaving me just my green and black corset. The real problem is that I can't find ANY of my corsets. None AT ALL. I can't remember where I put them. I didn't wear any except the red one last year (to TRF) one time and for the life of me I can't remember where the others are. I know, I know, this is stupid because I sew and can just make another one... except... the boning, I have none and it costs $$ which for some reason I've now become a money sieve and my wallet hemorrages money every time I get paid. Bah, whatever... moving on.
That HORROR of the season has started. The dreaded SPRING BREAK has started. And you know what that means... The Tiny Terrorists will be BORED and I'll really consider selling them on e-Bay. No not really, I wouldn't risk the negative feedback. How I HATE Spring Break and trying to find SOMETHING to occupy the offspring. A whole week of ENTERTAINING them. WTF? Who came up with this shitty idea? Someone with OUT kids that's who! My only bright spot is Wednesday, my day off, when I plan to take the progeny to the movies. I'm going to see of my sweetie Sarge will let his guys join us for the movie, lunch, then some feeding of ducks at the park.
And now CAKE! I know you internet, you just come for the CAKE. That's why I put it at the END.
Chocolate buttercream icing. mmmmmm... Not the usual and the pastel flowers look odd against it, but I'm sure it was TASTY.
Oh yeah, Happy St. Pat's Day also.
It appears that everyone in Casa de Karmically Challenged has recovered from the plague. I did what I could to bring you all the high points of the illness via the internet. Think of me as your Virtual Plague Rat. ;) I kid, I kid. I'm sure at least one of the three of you who actually read this crap wondered why the hell I'd blog whilst suffering such illness and I have an answer for you. I am insane. Completely and utterly. No really, that's not it. No REALLY it's NOT. Sheesh. No the real reason is NaBloPoMo. No that's not an illness - dude really, stop trying to blame it on my shaky mental stability - it's... eh... click the damn link and go read about it. The short version - I'm posting EVERY DAY for the month of MARCH. Woohoo! Isn't that EXCITING! EVERY DAY a little piece of ME! It's like having me as one of those voices in your head. What? You don't have voices in your head? Yeah... me either... moving on.
So like I was saying - recovery is complete here. No one has puked in over 24 hours. This is a good thing. Though I can see how this is a useful diet aid for the super models (5 lbs in 2 days), it's rather inconvenient and somewhat uncomfortable. I'll stick with my current method, which thanks for asking, is working rather well for me and I've lost 26 lbs (I'm not counting the 5 lost from the plague, I know they'll reappear like magic as soon as I finish this glass of water) since July. Of course now that I've just mentioned this to you internet, it'll mean that I'll gain 30 lbs in the next 2 weeks.
So the Tiny Terrorists are well, though Cabbage Patch is still rather DRAMATIC. As she has taken a liking to lying in my bed and watching television like some Southern Belle. In order to have a legitimate claim to the position she claims to have a 'headache' which mysteriously vanished when she went to play outside today and reappeared when I asked for help in the kitchen tonight. It's bullshit, but ya know, it's kind of cute bullshit AND since the girls are in different rooms, they aren't arguing! And THAT my friends makes her Southern Belle act worth tolerating. Let's just hope she doesn't start fake fainting. ;)
So yeah, jumping to something completely different now... Scarby starts soon and I'm not sure I have anything to wear now that I've lost 26 lbs. I guess it really shouldn't matter since now that I'll be working on paying that $1660 to Satan and his minions... er.. TX Dept. of Public Service, I'm not going to be able to make it to Scarby more than maybe twice. Still, I want to go in garb and damn I'm not sure if my favorite red corset fits anymore - when I made it a few years ago it laced all the way closed and I was 10 lbs heavier than I am now. My pretty gold side lacing corset, well my darling offspring spilt white paint on it so.... it's ruined and that kind of pisses me off, leaving me just my green and black corset. The real problem is that I can't find ANY of my corsets. None AT ALL. I can't remember where I put them. I didn't wear any except the red one last year (to TRF) one time and for the life of me I can't remember where the others are. I know, I know, this is stupid because I sew and can just make another one... except... the boning, I have none and it costs $$ which for some reason I've now become a money sieve and my wallet hemorrages money every time I get paid. Bah, whatever... moving on.
That HORROR of the season has started. The dreaded SPRING BREAK has started. And you know what that means... The Tiny Terrorists will be BORED and I'll really consider selling them on e-Bay. No not really, I wouldn't risk the negative feedback. How I HATE Spring Break and trying to find SOMETHING to occupy the offspring. A whole week of ENTERTAINING them. WTF? Who came up with this shitty idea? Someone with OUT kids that's who! My only bright spot is Wednesday, my day off, when I plan to take the progeny to the movies. I'm going to see of my sweetie Sarge will let his guys join us for the movie, lunch, then some feeding of ducks at the park.
And now CAKE! I know you internet, you just come for the CAKE. That's why I put it at the END.
Chocolate buttercream icing. mmmmmm... Not the usual and the pastel flowers look odd against it, but I'm sure it was TASTY.
Oh yeah, Happy St. Pat's Day also.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The House of Bio-Hazard
That would be here. As I make my recovery the Tiny Terrorists have be stricken with this viral menace. 4 am this morning I was woken by Super Girl telling me her stomach hurt. I let her crawl into bed with me which did not last long as the had to hop out of bed (at my insistence) to go throw up. Like eleventeenmillion times. I felt so horribly helpless as I told her I could do nothing for her and that it would pass.
At 6 am I went to the kitchen to get Super Girl and myself some flat 7-up and discovered Cabbage Patch laying on the sofa moaning about her stomach hurting. Oh dear, and I had just been thanking my lucky stars that she wasn't sick also.
Now it's nearing noon and both offspring are finally asleep to the sounds of Tom & Jerry. I've spent all morning going from the living room to comfort one to my bedroom to comfort the other.
And here I was wondering what they'd be doing for Spring Break - Puking! Woohoo!
Moving on...
Prior to everyone with a set of ovaries in this house being struck down with the plague, I had a lovely and quite delightful time with Super Girl last night. She found an old story book that I used to read to her when she was a wee baby. It's actually a VERY old book and has several stories in it. The first one being one of my favorites as I completely identify with the main character The Little Red Hen. Yes I am that hen. (I was totally going to link to the story but none that I've googled are THE story that's in my book, which I have to say I like much better than these random ones that have just popped up.) Here is the plot summary as given by Wikipedia:
Trying to make a point (albeit rather heavy handedly) I said to Super Girl "I am the Little Red Hen, K is the Cat, you are the Rat and sister is the Mouse." Before I could say more she quips "But who is the Fox?" Hmmm... talk about missing a point.
And now for something really odd...
Further in the book is this bizarre story "The Old Woman And Her Pig". Go read that for something really fucked up. At one point I stopped reading to Super Girl and said "This is so strange." I can't imagine any children's story being published today that talked about beating a dog with a stick... or hanging a butcher with a rope! This book was published back in 1950, back when it was quaint to tell children stories that involve torture and threats of bodily harm. This book is definitely a keeper, I'll have to keep this tucked away so I can psychologically damage my grandchildren someday. That is only if they haven't come out with a nice pop-up story book of Abu Ghraib prison by then.
Off to nap with the sick children. Have a great day.
That would be here. As I make my recovery the Tiny Terrorists have be stricken with this viral menace. 4 am this morning I was woken by Super Girl telling me her stomach hurt. I let her crawl into bed with me which did not last long as the had to hop out of bed (at my insistence) to go throw up. Like eleventeenmillion times. I felt so horribly helpless as I told her I could do nothing for her and that it would pass.
At 6 am I went to the kitchen to get Super Girl and myself some flat 7-up and discovered Cabbage Patch laying on the sofa moaning about her stomach hurting. Oh dear, and I had just been thanking my lucky stars that she wasn't sick also.
Now it's nearing noon and both offspring are finally asleep to the sounds of Tom & Jerry. I've spent all morning going from the living room to comfort one to my bedroom to comfort the other.
And here I was wondering what they'd be doing for Spring Break - Puking! Woohoo!
Moving on...
Prior to everyone with a set of ovaries in this house being struck down with the plague, I had a lovely and quite delightful time with Super Girl last night. She found an old story book that I used to read to her when she was a wee baby. It's actually a VERY old book and has several stories in it. The first one being one of my favorites as I completely identify with the main character The Little Red Hen. Yes I am that hen. (I was totally going to link to the story but none that I've googled are THE story that's in my book, which I have to say I like much better than these random ones that have just popped up.) Here is the plot summary as given by Wikipedia:
In the tale, the little red hen finds a grain of wheat, and asks for help from the other farmyard animals to plant it. No animal is willing to help. When the wheat matures, she asks for help to harvest it, then thresh it, then mill it, and finally bake the flour into bread. At each stage she gets no volunteers. Finally she asks who will help her eat the bread. All the previous non-participants eagerly volunteer, but she declines their help and eats it with her chicks, leaving none for others.
That's not exactly how my version is, Red lives with a lazy cat, a lazy rat and a lazy mouse. One day she decides to make a cake and asks for help with things (as usual) and no one will help her (as usual) until of course it's all baked and iced and ready to eat then everyone is more than willing to help. Red gets a little cranky and tells them to fuck them selves that she'll eat the damn cake by herself. Right then a fox sticks his head in the kitchen window and scares everyone into hiding except Red who tries to fend off the damn fox by herself but instead gets stuffed into a sack for the fox to take home and feed to his kits. (What a family friendly story!) Red out wits the fox and escapes. Back at home the cowardly lot of them comes out when they realize Red is back and they make a bunch of false promises about helping and all that. Red forgives them and they all share the cake. The END.Trying to make a point (albeit rather heavy handedly) I said to Super Girl "I am the Little Red Hen, K is the Cat, you are the Rat and sister is the Mouse." Before I could say more she quips "But who is the Fox?" Hmmm... talk about missing a point.
And now for something really odd...
Further in the book is this bizarre story "The Old Woman And Her Pig". Go read that for something really fucked up. At one point I stopped reading to Super Girl and said "This is so strange." I can't imagine any children's story being published today that talked about beating a dog with a stick... or hanging a butcher with a rope! This book was published back in 1950, back when it was quaint to tell children stories that involve torture and threats of bodily harm. This book is definitely a keeper, I'll have to keep this tucked away so I can psychologically damage my grandchildren someday. That is only if they haven't come out with a nice pop-up story book of Abu Ghraib prison by then.
Off to nap with the sick children. Have a great day.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
I'm Getting Better!
At least I think I am. But I thought that last night and this morning as well. And well, I was wrong. Sooooo wrong.
I went to work, walked as usual. I was feeling a bit weak but not near death like yesterday. Upon arrival I discovered that I did not in fact have to do a wedding cake as the flakey woman who ordered it canceled it just as quickly. But I did have about 15 orders. Okay, no biggie, typical Saturday.
By 10 am I was having horrible stomach cramps and had been to the bathroom to throw up twice. I figured it was time to go home when I couldn't stand to airbrush a cake for more then 3 minutes at time. I felt so bad I left a custom cake for my boss to finish. Gawd I can't believe I did that! That's my art work! Whatever, I had to leave, puking on cakes is unacceptable.
I actually walked home because I just didn't have the patients to wait for K to pick me up. Then I got home and slept until like 3 pm. Whined for K to make me chicken soup and ya know what, it made me feel better. I should have know a nice Jewish girl needs a nice Jewish cure. ;)
Anyway, I'm not so bad. Tomorrow I have off so I'll spend it sleeping and getting well and trying not to panic about losing a day of work. *ACK!* Too late!
At least I think I am. But I thought that last night and this morning as well. And well, I was wrong. Sooooo wrong.
I went to work, walked as usual. I was feeling a bit weak but not near death like yesterday. Upon arrival I discovered that I did not in fact have to do a wedding cake as the flakey woman who ordered it canceled it just as quickly. But I did have about 15 orders. Okay, no biggie, typical Saturday.
By 10 am I was having horrible stomach cramps and had been to the bathroom to throw up twice. I figured it was time to go home when I couldn't stand to airbrush a cake for more then 3 minutes at time. I felt so bad I left a custom cake for my boss to finish. Gawd I can't believe I did that! That's my art work! Whatever, I had to leave, puking on cakes is unacceptable.
I actually walked home because I just didn't have the patients to wait for K to pick me up. Then I got home and slept until like 3 pm. Whined for K to make me chicken soup and ya know what, it made me feel better. I should have know a nice Jewish girl needs a nice Jewish cure. ;)
Anyway, I'm not so bad. Tomorrow I have off so I'll spend it sleeping and getting well and trying not to panic about losing a day of work. *ACK!* Too late!
Ask Me Anything
(borrowed from my sweetie Sarge because it's funny and damn I'm lacking content. ;) )
1 question.
1 chance.
1 honest answer.
Thats all you get.
You get to ask me 1 question. (TO MY INBOX)
Any question, anything, no matter how crazy it is.
No catch.
Just between me and you.
No one else will ever know.
But I dare you to repost this.
And see what people ask you
(borrowed from my sweetie Sarge because it's funny and damn I'm lacking content. ;) )
1 question.
1 chance.
1 honest answer.
Thats all you get.
You get to ask me 1 question. (TO MY INBOX)
Any question, anything, no matter how crazy it is.
No catch.
Just between me and you.
No one else will ever know.
But I dare you to repost this.
And see what people ask you
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday = SUCK Also.
Who knew today would suck also? Not work, work was fine, I got things done pretty quickly. I ended up leaving work an hour early because I started to feel like I might just maybe have to barf on a cake or something. I thought that might not be such a good career move.
I still feel like crap. I'm going back to sleep until I need to throw up my toenails again. Enjoy the CAKE photo. Must get well, have 4 tier wedding cake to make on Saturday.
Who knew today would suck also? Not work, work was fine, I got things done pretty quickly. I ended up leaving work an hour early because I started to feel like I might just maybe have to barf on a cake or something. I thought that might not be such a good career move.
I still feel like crap. I'm going back to sleep until I need to throw up my toenails again. Enjoy the CAKE photo. Must get well, have 4 tier wedding cake to make on Saturday.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Hump Day = Suck Day
So today was my day off and even though I didn't spend 90% of my time scrubbing my kitchen and forcing my progeny into Cindrella-esque chores it still sucked. Not all of it - there was the obligatory masturbation and well that never sucks unless BOB just runs out of batteries - but the SUCK parts were so SUCKY that they overshadowed the non SUCK parts (yes it is hard to imagine that joy of really good self sex could be diminished by anything, but it does happen). All thanks to the Texas Department of Public Safety.
I'm not going to go into detail on how shitty they are, suffice to say that I owe them a hefty $1660 on two tickets that are already paid due to a change in the law a few years ago, oh yes and I can't forget the little extra $100 added in there for an accident back in 2002. And the most fun part of all of this is that I had no idea of ANY of this (the fees, I remembered the tickets and the accident) so I was caught completely off guard when I was told by the nice customer service person after my hour long wait on hold. I have to say I love that person, she didn't even get frazzled when I let lose with a few obsenity laced phrases at each and every thing NEW she told me. Then she gave me another phone number to call to find out how to take care of said fees and how they will kindly let me pay out these shitty fees. I called my sister and gave her the "You ain't gonna' believe this shit" news of the day and bitched for an hour about WTF? But I paid those tickets! Then I called the other number. And held for another hour, after which a very nice man took my call and got to listen to me and my shock and anger fueled swearing as he told me that not only did have to pay fees on the most recent of my tickets (2 years ago) but on a past one as well! Which when added to the $100 for the accident bullshit comes out to $1660 of which I have to pay $210 a month in payments to the Tx. Dept. of Public Safety. It's AWESOME, especially since I had NO clue about ANY of this shit.
I spent a good 4 hours of my day in Shock and Awe by all this. And by Shock and Awe I mean Bitching and Moaning. And then I did the dishes. Take a look at how nice and clean my kitchen is! Oh yeah and my sweetie Sarge isn't feeling well so no seeing him tonight. Damn, can't a sistah' get a break?
Okay that's all, the bitching is over. Tomorrow CAKE will be back.
So today was my day off and even though I didn't spend 90% of my time scrubbing my kitchen and forcing my progeny into Cindrella-esque chores it still sucked. Not all of it - there was the obligatory masturbation and well that never sucks unless BOB just runs out of batteries - but the SUCK parts were so SUCKY that they overshadowed the non SUCK parts (yes it is hard to imagine that joy of really good self sex could be diminished by anything, but it does happen). All thanks to the Texas Department of Public Safety.
I'm not going to go into detail on how shitty they are, suffice to say that I owe them a hefty $1660 on two tickets that are already paid due to a change in the law a few years ago, oh yes and I can't forget the little extra $100 added in there for an accident back in 2002. And the most fun part of all of this is that I had no idea of ANY of this (the fees, I remembered the tickets and the accident) so I was caught completely off guard when I was told by the nice customer service person after my hour long wait on hold. I have to say I love that person, she didn't even get frazzled when I let lose with a few obsenity laced phrases at each and every thing NEW she told me. Then she gave me another phone number to call to find out how to take care of said fees and how they will kindly let me pay out these shitty fees. I called my sister and gave her the "You ain't gonna' believe this shit" news of the day and bitched for an hour about WTF? But I paid those tickets! Then I called the other number. And held for another hour, after which a very nice man took my call and got to listen to me and my shock and anger fueled swearing as he told me that not only did have to pay fees on the most recent of my tickets (2 years ago) but on a past one as well! Which when added to the $100 for the accident bullshit comes out to $1660 of which I have to pay $210 a month in payments to the Tx. Dept. of Public Safety. It's AWESOME, especially since I had NO clue about ANY of this shit.
I spent a good 4 hours of my day in Shock and Awe by all this. And by Shock and Awe I mean Bitching and Moaning. And then I did the dishes. Take a look at how nice and clean my kitchen is! Oh yeah and my sweetie Sarge isn't feeling well so no seeing him tonight. Damn, can't a sistah' get a break?
Okay that's all, the bitching is over. Tomorrow CAKE will be back.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Monday Drudgery
Today as soon as the progeny got home from school and finished homework I continued with their training in slave labor. Mutha fuck if it didn't actually WORK! My kitchen looks FABULOUS.
I have some shit to finish now, so look at some cake and be happy.
Sooner cake.
Pretty spring flowers.
Spring cookies. Mmmmm.
Rose cookies. Mmmmmm.
Daffodils! On COOKIES!
Today as soon as the progeny got home from school and finished homework I continued with their training in slave labor. Mutha fuck if it didn't actually WORK! My kitchen looks FABULOUS.
I have some shit to finish now, so look at some cake and be happy.
Sooner cake. 
Pretty spring flowers.
Spring cookies. Mmmmm.
Rose cookies. Mmmmmm.
Daffodils! On COOKIES! Sunday, March 09, 2008
SPRING CLEANING!
Today has been an incredible day of CLEANING! And not just CLEANING, but that really fun thorough SPRING CLEANING! I've bribed the offspring to help and incredibly, it's totally working!
Okay, here are some cakes I did yesterday - which was a REALLY BUSY day! Today is also just not with CAKE, more with cleaning solvent and kitchen stuff. How EXCITING! but when I'm done, the kitchen will SPARKLE - I'll take a photo just to prove it.
Isn't this cute?!?!?!?! Two pairs of boots for twins. The top trim is actually brown, but it looks black because my stupid camera doesn't flash for some reason in the bakery.
Woof!
I love these cookies! And not just because I love the Mavs.
Okay, back to cleaning before my offspring realize that bribe I've offered isn't worth all the cleaning out of cabinets and scrubbing of baseboards (oh yes I am making them do this!). If they do well, maybe I'll hire them out over their spring break as Little People Cleaning Services! It could work... I mean what the hell else am I going to do with them for Spring Break?
Today has been an incredible day of CLEANING! And not just CLEANING, but that really fun thorough SPRING CLEANING! I've bribed the offspring to help and incredibly, it's totally working!
Okay, here are some cakes I did yesterday - which was a REALLY BUSY day! Today is also just not with CAKE, more with cleaning solvent and kitchen stuff. How EXCITING! but when I'm done, the kitchen will SPARKLE - I'll take a photo just to prove it.
Isn't this cute?!?!?!?! Two pairs of boots for twins. The top trim is actually brown, but it looks black because my stupid camera doesn't flash for some reason in the bakery. 
Woof!
I love these cookies! And not just because I love the Mavs. Okay, back to cleaning before my offspring realize that bribe I've offered isn't worth all the cleaning out of cabinets and scrubbing of baseboards (oh yes I am making them do this!). If they do well, maybe I'll hire them out over their spring break as Little People Cleaning Services! It could work... I mean what the hell else am I going to do with them for Spring Break?
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