Black Cat




Just in case none of you had a lovely black cat cross your path today, I thought I'd put up the one in my neighborhood.

Funny thing is that this cat is super skiddish and I think I've only see it 3 or 4 times in the past year but there it was today, running around the parking lot on Friday the 13th.

Nice And Relaxing... NOT!

Things that are suppose to relax but don't

Doing yoga, normally very relaxing, add in a toddler and a kindergardener who think a person in a yoga pose is a person wanting to be used as a jungle gym.

Reading, normally very relzaxing, with the combination above it becomes a lesson in futility as you reread the same sentence 15 times before tossing book into the bathroom realizing that the only 'reading time' you have now happens to be when you are in the bathroom with the door locked while tiny fists pound on the door and tiny voices continually question whether you are in there, are you coming out, when is snack time, etc. until you finally emerge.

Meditation - add in the Tiny Terrorist and they think it's a free for all. The sound of things crashing to the floor, screaming and cat's howling make meditation impossible for anyone but the absolute deaf. No I've never tried mediation, I'm not that stupid to give the Tiny Terrorists even a 30 second head start in their secret demoliton plot.

All for now. Time to take the Tiny Terrorists out to burn off some excess energy.

Blessed Are Those Who Feed My Addiction




This birthday has been the coffee birthday. Both K and XXX got me coffee pots. K got me a French Press (pictured above and to the right) and XXX got me a Brew 'N Go that brews one cup at a time. I love both of them. The Brew 'N Go is just like the one XXX has - that I have coveted - it makes a cup of coffee in about 2 minutes - perfect for in the mornings! The French Press is the one I've wanted and makes up to three delicious cups in about 10 minutes. Each pot was opened and in use within minutes of arriving in my hands. Ahhhh....

Perfect presents - they love me. :o) Somedays it's good to be Judy.

An Icon Passes...

I just read that Julia Child passes away. How very sad. I thought she was very entertaining. Sometimes when I was very young and dreamed of being a master chef, I imagined meeting her and cooking with her.

The article mentions the cook book Mastering The Art Of French Cooking, which is my favorite cookbook. I inherited an old copy (1966 printing) from my mother (which is comical as she wasn't a very good cook and I don't think she ever even opened this cook book) and have used it quite a bit in the past 8 years it's been in my possession.

She was an interesting character, too bad their aren't more like her.

Post Birthday Update

Well Koko (the bitch)totally fucking stood me up for my birthday. I think she did because I told her I wasn't going to pay this time as it was my birthday and all. Damn cheap monkey.

Instead I had a lovely dinner with the family, K made steak and taters. He bought a lovely cake and adorned it with 33 candles which the little people were more than happy to help me blow out. XXX called to wish me happy birthday and send me off to bed with a smile (no, nothing dirty you perv, just talking to him makes me smile).

Today I realized that I'd been given a gift I'll be thinking about all day. Gastrointestinal upset! Woohoo! K must have poisoned me last night. The bastard. So please excuse if I don't update much today, it means a) I've fallen into a deep healing sleep despite having two children screaming and covering the living room in a tidal wave of toys b) I'm in the bathroom wish I was dead or at least in a coma c) my brain is to preoccupied with being sick to make coherent sentences or d) I'm washing the laundry.

Fun News

I absolutly love this article - Sex IS good for you! (read this one carefully XXX);o)

Sex Toys for Women - I think I want to be the proprietor of a Sex Shop. :o) XXX, ya wanna help me with product testing?

Diving Right In

K has taken the plunge and started a blog. Head on over and say hello or whatever.

Public Service Announcement

I figured I'd let everyone know yet again that TOMORROW is MY BIRTHDAY. I will be home to receive all the presents and acolades that my adoring public will be sending to me so no need to worry.

heh. Kidding. Tomorrow is my birthday, just kidding about the rest. Gonna call Koko my birthay buddy and see if she wants to take me out for my birthday, maybe a sushi restraunt.

Art Imitating Life



The above is two photos of the wind chime thingie Super Girl got for me when she was visiting her grandma. She had to get it for me, it is me after all. heh. A bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne hang off it, so you know it really is me. ;o) Too bad it didn't have a cup of coffee as well.

Viking Kittens

Thanks to Petey, I once again have a link to the fabulous video.

Great Birthday Pressies
for me of course

Viking Kittens Shirt Or this Viking Kittens Shirt I like the orange kittie because I have an orange kittie.

I wish I could find the link to the Viking Kittens video again.

My Birthday Buddy

In reading this article about Koko the gorilla I discovered that she turned 33 July 4th. I never realized how close in age she and I are. On that note, let me take this moment to remind people that I will turn 33 on Wednesday. I wonder if Koko will send me a birthday card?


Koko or Judy?

Kind of errie how Koko sucking down the booze looks a lot like me sucking down the booze. I swear we could be twins. Maybe we were separated at birth.

If I Had A Penis...

This would be it's name!

My penis's new name is Major Tom the Strangely Proportioned Intruder.
Take Name Your Penis by badasstronaut today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

XXX showed me this. hehehe... he's a sick man, that's why I love him.

Hafla

Short version:

Lots of belly dancers, cool dancing, late night trip to get me something to *drink, after **three in an hour I left but not before ***kissing all the guys and the girls. Long drive home.

*Coffee – lots of coffee
**Cups of retched coffee
***Goodbye – kissing everyone good bye that is.

Long Version:

Saturday night instead of our bi-monthly geeky gaming session we attended a hafla. It’s a belly-dancing thingie. It was Mystical D’s very first performance and she had invited us all. Mystical D is married to Bill The Queen.

So I work all day Saturday. I was so busy lunch was vending machine fare of questionable nutritional value. (Warning to others, jerky that you can purchase from a vending machine will haunt you for hours after consumption – I think I’m still burping that cheap jerky). K had done his boss a favor and helped her move ‘a few things’ on Saturday. The ‘few things’ turned into two storage units of heavy items that took from 8 am until 5 pm for them to finish up. I arrived home at 5:30 pm just mere moments after K did. It was a contest as to who was more tired, cranky and hungry – I won as K got lunch from Hooters (Yeah you know every gay man wants to go there). K got a quick shower and we left. A quick drive through Wattaburger for food for me and we headed out to the hafla.

Directions to said hafla were provided by Petey. In the directions we were instructed the shindig would start at 1900 hours. We arrived about 10 minutes after 7 pm and were confused to find things not in full swing. As we paid our $7 to get in we enquired as to when things would be starting and were told at 8 pm. Hmmmm… note to self… Kill Petey for my lost nap time.

The new Mrs. S and her husband arrived shortly after that as well as B and we all stood around plotting Petey’s demise for the time thing. The Bear showed up shortly before 8pm and absolved herself of any blame for the time mix up – it’s really didn’t matter, husbands always take the blame. It’s the Marital Scapegoat clause in the marriage contract.

The dancing was fascinating, the dancers were lovely. Mystical D did a wonderful job in her dance. Everything was over at 10:30 pm.

Everyone stood around until 11 pm discussing where to go as some people were hungry. It was decided to head to Denny’s (where the hell else would be open that late). I needed coffee badly as I had an hour drive home and I was fucking tired.

Our group is great; we all do more talking than anything else. It’s a fabulous group. Sometimes it makes me homicidal though. I walked out saying I was heading to Denny’s NOW, others could meet us. I think I already mentioned I was cranky and tired.

Denny’s. As soon as the waitress got us seated I ordered coffee. I needed caffeine and lots of it. The Queen and Mystical D sat across from me. After a few reminders to our waitress coffee was served. It was the foulest coffee, typical of a Denny’s I suppose – especially near midnight. No matter, I figured that even crappy foul tasting coffee was better than no coffee. Plenty of sugar and cream and it was at least drinkable. The next two cups were equally as retched but I was getting used to it and they went down much easier.

I tend to be very odd when tired and very talkative. I can’t even remember some of the things we all talked about. Politics, piercings, tattoos, religion, pseudonyms and driving directions.

I left about 12:30 am as I had to go to work soon! The Bear wrote directions back home for me on the back of a napkin. I insisted on this as I was TIRED, full of Coffee and I’m VERY, VERY bad with directions. The Queen was trying to give me directions by pointing vaguely in a direction and telling me to turn that way, but thankfully The Bear complied with my demands. I would have hated to have to kill someone.

The drive home was almost as much fun as everything else. I cranked the air conditioner up to freeze, put the radio station on a crappy music station and just drove. Freezing hands and bad music work well to annoy me awake – and if you ad in the full bladder it all works out well.

I got home about 1:30 am and got to bed about 2 am. I still need a nap.

Mini-Cats

The Little People are home from their week long visit with Grandma and GG. Grandma and GG have a huge house. In this house they have 3 dogs and 6 cats. Big cats. Most of the cats are bigger than the dogs. My cats are small by cat standard - just 6 lbs and 7 lbs.

The first thing Super Girl says when we get home is "Oh! They are kittens again!" I've explained several times that our cats are just small cats and GG's cats are BIG cats. It doesn't matter; I'm still getting questions of "why are our cats smaller?" "Why did you make the cats little?" "Are they going to grow big?" "Are they kittens?" To which I have continually answered that our cats are just small, GG has Big cats, our cats have always been small, no they won't get any bigger and the one time answer of 'yes, yes, I did shrink the cats, I washed them and dried them and they got smaller.' to which she asked 'why did you wash the cats?'

Silly child. This morning she asked "Mom, where are the real Sunshine and Dusty?"

Paradise

I arrived at XXX’s at 9 pm. He was relieved as he was expecting me much earlier. I explained my reasons for being tardy and told him I had called his cell phone and left a message at 8 pm when I stopped to get gas in my car. He said he never got the message and didn’t hear the phone ring. [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and then we made sandwiches as I was hungry and hadn’t had dinner. We watched Adult Swim and [Content removed due to graphic sexual content].

The next morning after [Content removed due to graphic sexual content], XXX left for work. He had shown me how to work his coffee machine before leaving. He has the cutest little coffee maker – it makes one cup. Oh I was in LOVE with it! One fabulous fresh cup of coffee! I enjoyed my coffee while watching the news then showered and straightened up before heading out to have lunch with XXX.

We had lunch at a Mexican café close to where he works then walked back to his office where I hung out for most of the day. I had planned to do some city exploring but hanging out and chatting with my sweetie was much more rewarding. Oh stop giving me that look, I know it was sappy sweet and making you want to gag, but deal with it. Anyway, I headed back to his apartment a little after 3 pm.

Back at his place I had the joy of fighting with the lock on his door – fucker sticks for some reason. I made another delicious cup of coffee and watched more news. XXX messaged me a little after 4 to tell me that the movie was at 4:50 pm so be ready when he got there. Cool. I was actually peeking out the door looking for him when he pulled into the parking lot. I grabbed my purse and was out the door. Had the joy of fighting with the lock again then we were off.

We saw I, Robot, which I’ve already given my opinion of – Will Smith in the shower - yessss.

We went back to XXX’s place and [Content removed due to graphic sexual content]. We made dinner and watched Calendar Girls – that was a sweet movie then we [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and watched Adult Swim again before falling asleep [Content removed due to graphic sappy nature – gag!].

The next morning [Content removed due to graphic sexual content], I kissed him goodbye and then it was just ME and his coffee maker for the day. Ahhhh coffee. The coffee maker and I share many tender moments together through out the day as I do not a damn thing other than watch movies and surf the internet. Being a mom it’s been a while since I’ve had opportunity to do absolutely NOTHING so I was taking full advantage of it. Besides I had a lovely dinner and some [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] planned for later.

When XXX got home from work we [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and then I made a wonderful dinner. We drank some wine and watched old movies while having desert. Then it was off to the bedroom for [Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content, Content removed due to graphic sexual content]. Whew that was fun, luckily this time the leather restraints didn’t leave bruises.

The next morning I reluctantly left – it was time to head back to responsibilities of my life – but not before [Content removed due to graphic sexual content] and more coffee!!! Damn what a combo XXX is – incredibly sexy, smart, funny, sensitive and he’s got a great coffee maker!

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it was nearly perfect to me.

The 4 Hour Drive That Took 5 or Fuck How I Hate Traffic On 35!

So I head on to work on Sunday hoping that I can get off work early and me and the Little People can hit the road by 1:30 pm at the latest. Much to my amazement I am finished by work and back home by NOON! K & the Little People are not home. *Sigh* Okay, okay, don’t panic, I’m sure they’ll be home shortly. I just pack (throw everything in a bag) for myself and the kids hoping that I haven’t forgotten anything vital.

At 1 pm I call all people who will be expecting my arrival today (my aunt and XXX) and tell them I plan to leave by 1:30 pm or 2 pm. Get off the phone and look for more pins to stick in the K & B voodoo dolls. Pack car.

2 pm K & B arrive with the Little People. I quickly hide evil voodoo activities and start barking commands at the children so we can get the hell on the road. This trip should take about 4 hours to get the kids to their grandmother’s house.

Everything is going according to schedule until we get close to Georgetown. For some fucking reason there was an unbelievable amount of traffic on the road and for about 34 miles (shortly after I see the sign that says Georgetown 36 miles) traffic is flowing at a brisk 30 mph. Yeah, total pleasure.

We finally arrive 5 freaking hours after we left home. I decline having dinner as I know it’s about an hour and a half to get to XXX and I’m now running REALLY late. The Little People barely notice that I’m leaving; it’s just too much trouble to tear themselves away from the toys, swings and cats at GG and Grandma’s house to give me a hug and kiss. *Sigh* Kids.

I’m out of there by 7:30 pm and arrive at XXX’s door at 9 pm.

Big Ass Spider The Kids And I Saw At Truck Stop

The Wedding

I took the day off from working my busy hospital so I'd have time to get ready and get the little people all cute. We had an hour drive to the wedding so I really did need the time to get all ready for the shindig. We packed all the wedding clothes in the trunk and headed out about an hour and half before the wedding. I figured we'd stop a bit before we got to the wedding and get dress as I just could not fathom that the little people, K or myself would look presentable after an hours drive.

So off we go, me looking incredibly redneck in a denim jumper with no shirt under, my sparkly make-up and fancy strappy sandals. Yeah I looked hot and sexy, ready to go to the good tractor pull.

Anyway when we were almost there we stopped off at a gas station and all changed (yeah I know, that's really classy - what else was I supposed to do, change in the parking lot of the wedding place??).

The wedding was at 6 pm, we showed up about 15 minutes before the ceremony started. It was an outdoors wedding and it was still freaking hot that day. They provided hand held fans which I fought over with Super Girl and Cabbage Patch. They are young; they can stand the heat better - besides mommy had running eyeliner to consider.

The ceremony was beautiful. Martin looked incredibly handsome and Angie was absolutely beautiful. They looked incredibly happy together. I got all teary... or maybe that was sweat in my eyes. No, kidding, it was very touching to see two people who are so perfectly matched and so in love get married. If I ever get married again I hope to have a ceremony like theirs - except with Elvis officiating the ceremony... and me in a red dress... and none of the praying stuff... and in Vegas... probably the drive thru wedding... maybe... and clowns... Jell-O wrestling... and... Oh, are you still there? Sorry, lost for a moment. Beautiful ceremony.

The reception followed immediately with the best fucking food I've had at a wedding in I don't know how long. Martin and Angie were kind to their guests and instructed us to eat while they finished with the obligatory after wedding photos of the wedding party (which just takes to damn long usually). I must have eaten a half pound of shrimp by myself. Even the Little People enjoyed the food. Cabbage Patch enjoyed the barbecued sausages so much she was wiping her hands on her lovely satin dress. *sigh* Mommy needed a drink at that moment.

They had dancing outdoors after all the gorging and cake cutting in doors. We partook of all the activities while making sure the Little People were within eye shot and not terrorizing more than the other children.

Petey was my savior and managed to find some roofies... I mean Alieve for my sinus headache and later provided me with rum for my punch - twice in fact. The booze came from Martin's brother-in-law Earl. I love that man, every time I've seen him; he always has booze for me. Later I got some wine from Earl.

We dance quite a bit. Even K and I danced. Together that is. He's not a bad dancer. It was fun. We sweated a LOT.

The lovely couple had enough of their rowdy guests about 10 or so and left in a horse drawn carriage. It was beautiful.

K and I gathered the little people and headed to the car. I changed right there by the car. I was HOT and my dress was sweat soaked. Yeah I know, another redneck moment brought to you by Judy.

And that was the wedding. It was nice.

Oh... The dress. I did wear THE dress. I briefly panicked and considered wearing something else as I worried I'd look like a fat cow but at the last moment I said "Fuck it, I'm wearing the dress, damn anyone who doesn't like it." I didn't even wear industrial strength anti-jiggle under garments under the dress - not that I hadn't planned to do so, I just couldn't find the ones I bought the previous day AND the torturous pantyhose I did find were a comical disaster to try to get on. See I haven't worn pantyhose in years. I hate them. I either couldn't remember the proper way to wiggle into control top pantyhose or they were the wrong size. At any rate after struggling with them, starting to sweat and having my giggling children ask me if I need help/offer advice, I pulled them off and tossed them in the trash never to be considered again. I think I looked pretty damn good in the dress; I had decent cleavage going on thanks to a push up bra and the tight bosom of the dress. All was good.

XXX

I'm sure you are all wondering what makes XXX so great - let me tell you (and it's not the fabulous sex so get your mind out of the gutter). He can can clear away the dark clouds and insecurities with a sentence. That's it, one sentence and I smile.

Well that and he doesn't get all tweaked by the fact that I'm probably the most frighteningly hairy women he's ever known - I really should buy stock in hair removal. Gotta love a man who doesn't touch my face and comment on how my beard needs a trim or say how my mustache tickles in an unpleasant way while I give a blow job or mention how the hot and sexy bra I just bought would look much sexier if I didn't have all that hair obscuring the lace.

Damn I'm so freaking happy when I'm with him.

Updates Postponed

I'm tired tonight, going to head off to bed soon. I was going to write about EVERYTHING, instead I spent my time writing words to XXX that he'll never see. I know, silly girl stuff, but I'm a girl, what do you expect.

Tomorrow, I'll write tomorrow before my pathetic memory starts to fail me.

Off to bed for now.