Illuminating Developments

The lights are up (yes, Mystic I do have photos to PROVE that my Chanukah garlands are up). And it went as peaceful and smooth as you imagine it would… as long as peaceful means me barking orders at EVERYONE and smooth means me telling the Tiny Terrorists through clenched teeth that the damn RED ornaments do NOT go on the blue and gold garland. Yes, yes I know I’m a psychotic bitch; I’ve already covered that though. My garlands look ALMOST perfect aside from the few out of place ornaments placed there by the offspring by mistake (I’ll fix that) and YES I’m perfectly aware that MOST of you out there in Internet-land think that I should be boiled in oil for not letting the Little People decorate them as they like, but I don’t really give a fuck, these are my Chanukah garlands and I want them to be decorated MY WAY. I’ll put their little pink Barbie tree up tomorrow (if they are GOOD) and they can crap it up anyway they like. Seriously, they can, I won’t stop them. I just need to finish Jewing up my garlands and I’m done with my decorating. Some day they will appreciate my attention to detail on the decorations and they will understand that the only way to attain a HAPPY HOLIDAY is through precise and perfect decorations! HAPPY! HAPPY I SAY! WE WILL HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY! Oh... hey... too much caffeine…

On to other things…

Friday night I resisted the urge to go out despite someone’s strong insistence and persuasive temptations. I instead smartly stayed home to paint my pirate box for the pirate gift exchange at Ben’s the next night.

Saturday morning started much as they always do, me getting up to early, eating breakfast, showering, dressing and heading to work. I worked my first hospital then headed down the toll road to my second hospital. As I approached the exit for the toll road I could see black smoke off in the distance, I figured it was some building or something burning and thought no more about it. As I approached the toll booth’s I saw that the toll tag lanes were open and only one of the other (exact change or change made) lanes was open and it was an exact change lane. Luckily (or so I thought) I had $.75 and headed for that ever growing lane as I pondered why all the other lanes were closed and blocked off. As I drove up the hill I saw that ALL the lanes on the West bound side of the toll way (where I was) were blocked by fire trucks, ambulances and police vehicles and everyone was forming a line to the far right in the break down lane. I followed suit noticing the flaming mass on the East bound side of the toll way and immediately regretted that I didn’t have my camera with me. It was quite impressive and was putting off quite a bit of smoke; I surmised that it was a burning car. I dialed my work to tell them that I’d be late because of a fiery wreck on the toll road and would be there as soon as humanly possible as I waited to be motioned around the area. Four vehicles ahead of me the state trooper directing traffic stopped everyone, I watched as the flames which were only as high as the fire trucks next to me were now twice as high and casually looked to the right down at the frontage road. Down there I saw several news trucks and decided I was far too curious to just sit there, I needed to know what the fuck was burning. Soooooo I called my sister and left her a message that asked her to turn on the TV as I was stuck on the toll road from a fiery wreck and to call me back. Then I dialed The Wife hoping she would be at home and she was. I gave her the same schpeel that I left on D’s voice mail and The Wife informed me that it was a tanker truck that was blazing. Damn. While we were talking the trooper got very animated and started telling EVERYONE to turn the hell around on the toll road and go back – and not in an orderly fashion either, just TURN AROUND NOW. So we did. During this entire time I had kept hearing booming sounds that I NOW understood to be explosions. Ahhh fun, no wonder the troopers were so agitated! I passed back through the toll lanes and wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t get my damn $.75 back! D called back and I hung up with The Wife… until I was directed onto the road. Then I had to call The Wife back and inform her that she was now going to be my GPS system and give me directions to work as I’m totally directionally challenged. Thankfully The Wife isn’t and gave me FABULOUS directions which got me RIGHT to work.

More Fire!

Later that day, Whysper and I had our candle party. It went off without a hitch. But all of our guest aside for one were late (I can’t count Crazy B as being there on time, it’s her house had the party at). We played this game of purse scramble. C was my favorite letter, because I always have a few items starting with the letter C in my purse and Crazy B was all fascinated by the packing of said C item so I gifted her with one wishing the joy of the holiday and much pleasure. I swear I really should be the Condom Fairy. At the end of the game I whined because I didn’t win anything and Crazy B gave me the Man Scent candle. Well that’s not its official name, I can’t remember it but it smells like some fantastic men’s cologne (Eternity for Men) and damn I’ll have to burn it when I’m with BOB from now on. Ahhhh… Man Candle. ANYWAY, we had fun, we ate, we ran late I didn’t injure myself nor did I set anything ablaze – though that’s probably just due to the fact that I kept my hands off things.

Pirate Party

There was a nice turnout for this month’s Ben’s I took lots of photos and haven’t finished editing them, but soon I will have them posted. In the gift exchange I ended up with a most fabulous bottle of Oatmeal Cookies Booze. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I was ready to throw down to keep that bottle of yumminess. Whysper has it in her freezer currently for safe keeping other wise it would already be gone (hey PMS sucks and I have no chocolate!) but luckily it’s safe until New Years Eve where in it will be consumed in an alarmingly short amount of time.

Well that’s it for now… more to write… but it’s late…