Thursday, May 04, 2006

Oedipus Complex

Today D came over. I showed her Super Girl’s class photo and D made a comment about how this one little boy looked standing next to Super Girl looked like he was mackin’ on her. This lead to a conversation of how Super Girl thought he was so weird because he thought he was her mother. D and I exchanged glances then snarky comments before Super Girl corrected herself and said “No! He thinks I’m his mother.” D and I exchanged knowing glances and smirks and I asked “Does he call you ‘mommy’ as in ‘Hey mommy, what you doing?’” My Cuban and Mexican sister had tears running from her eyes as we laughed at the realization that the Hispanic boy was in fact mackin’ on Super Girl. K on the other hand was doing the “La, la, la, la, la! I can’t hear you!” in utter denial.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My Militant Lesbian Outfit

Yesterday K and I went to procure new swim attire for the Tiny Terrorists. That meant a trip to Ross. It also meant that I would get to peruse the racks of clothing for some new funky piece of clothing. After the selection of new swim wear for EVERYONE (even me, but that’s another story) I steered the cart over to the fat chick area and started pawing through the racks of stuff and lo and behold what did I find… the MOST PERFECT pair of pants EVER made. In my size even. A pair of camouflage Capri pants. I immediately dropped the mini skirt I had been carrying around and snatched the pants off the rack declaring to K that THESE WERE THE ONES! K immediately started to smirk and make snide comments about how all I needed was a wife-beater and some combat boots to be ready for the pride march. I cast him a disparaging glance and muttered to him to shut up, that I didn’t think they let bi-sexuals in the march anyway. I searched through the racks of shirts to find a PERFECT one to go with my fabulous new pants (oddly enough I did keep finding tank tops that would go with the pants, but I didn’t buy any – because I already have some and secondly the amazing camouflage tank just wasn’t in my size) and ignored K’s continual comments about my Militant Lesbian uniform as I selected the perfect white lacy shirt to compliment the pants. When I tried the fabulous pants on, K commented that they actually looked really good on me. I’m thinking that camouflage print makes my fat ass harder to see… Maybe I need to buy all my clothes in camo from now on. Might not actually HIDE my ass from sight but in a pinch I’ll be able to hide in the bushes.