Saturday, May 03, 2008

Saturday Stuff

I have a bunch of cake photos which will make up for my lack of blog post as I don't really feel like talking about how I still feel like something had been ripped out of my heart leaving me with a huge void. How I feel terribly inadequate and unattractive. How shitty this past week has been, how I really do want to run away from my life, except that I'd still be me which would defeat the whole process. How I feel ignored and alone. How I'm still angry with K and am feeling taken advantage of. No, I'm not going to discuss any of that, it's pointless and really no one wants to listen to me whine, not even myself, so I'll just smile and you don't have to pretend you care. It's okay, I'm not comfortable discussing negative emotions, mom never approved of that. Let's move on.

Here's CAKE after all.
I may have already posted this photo. I don't really like it. I couldn't locate my wider white ribbon, I've misplaced it and am not motivated nor have time enough to search it out now.
A little something for Cinco de Mayo.
And more... because who can have a fiesta without CAKE???
This photo does not do this cake justice. It is utterly charming. The only thing that would have made it better is if the baby booties were pink.
A photo I was asked to duplicate as CAKE.
And the CAKE! (Yes I know the flowers aren't exact, but that is what the customer requested.)
This cake pisses me off. The woman came in with a plate - pink with paisleys on it and asked me to match the plate. We discussed the options and agreed on the pink base and the paisleys. When she picked up the cake, she didn't like the pink, she said it was too bright. It's a near match to the stupid plates. I wanted to tell her where she could put that cake, BUT I love my job so I didn't.
Another request to match something.
And the result. Minor color changes to avoid copyright infringement.
Which brings us to the first of the Catholic Cakes. This is my least favorite of all of them, which is not to say that I dislike this one at all, it's just not as FABULOUS as the others.
This one is my favorite, a first communion cake. Months ago I did this cake for her except in pink and white for a baby girl's baptism. I did this one a tad different and I love how it turned out.
I loved it so much I suggested to this person to have the Eucharist on their confirmation cake. I added a cross to the other side when they arrived as it looked really bare without it. They loved this cake.
My final cakes for Saturday. A match set.
The woman who ordered this was at the party with last weekends pink and black stacked gift cake. She loved it so much she came in to order her daughter's birthday cake and this is what she wanted.
This is the little one for the birthday girl. I love these cakes.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Thank You All

To all who left me a comment and emailed me, thank you for your kind words. To the few who called me, thank you for your kind words as well. To the two I messaged on IM, thank you for taking time from your busy day to listen (read) while I cried and typed. To my aunt and uncle who took Dusty for treatment, there are no words to express the extreme amount of gratitude I feel. Thank you seems so very inadequate, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I'm still very sad, it's been a crappy week and it's not getting better. I'm angry at K and feeling like a petulant child right now. He's going to see his boyfriend tonight (AGAIN this week) and I haven't gone anywhere other than work this week. Yes I'm being bratty and pissy about it. Mostly because there is little chance going out over the weekend and I'm not likely to be able to do what I'd like to do until maybe Wednesday of next week. *sigh* no chance of seeing Iron Man until next week, no Magic until next week. Yes, I know, I'm being petty, I'd just like a night off. Enough of that, I have to go to work now.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Ode to Cats

Cabbage Patch wrote cat poetry
(I would scan it so you could see it hand written in her charming first grade scrawl but my scanner is not functional. SUCK!)

My Cats

Growls like a lawn mower!
Shine bright like the sun
Dusty is like the fine dust
Sunshine shines bright like
the orange and yellow rays
of the sun.
I love my cats!

I suspect that this was written last week sometime as she knows it by heart. The timing of when she brought her poem home is just ironically sad though. Dusty is like the fine dust now.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Wednesday's Child Is Full Of Woe..

Today I definitely am (and yes I was born on a Wednesday). This morning Dr. Grandma called to let me know the prognosis of Dusty. Not good. The tumor is a very aggressive and fast moving cancer, a heart murmur and some cardiac issues (probably from the cancer). The options were to do surgery to remove the tumor and let her live out her life or euthanize her now. Before deciding I was told that the vet felt they could remove the tumor easily but that they were not so hopeful about her chances of surviving anesthesia due to her advanced age and her heart issues. I told Dr. Grandma that I'd have to discuss this with K since this was his cat but more than likely we'd have Dusty euthanized as it seemed the most humane thing to do. K concurred that it was in the best interest for Dusty to not suffer.

So it's done. I gave the order to have our sweet little cat put to sleep. I know it's really the best thing to do yet I still feel incredible guilt and remorse. And I'm sad because I loved my cat.

Above is my favorite photo of Dusty in her ruffled purple collar. Taken 5 or so years ago. She loved that collar. Below is a photo I took of her this past December, she hated the Santa hat.

Dusty Merlene
1995 - 2008

I'll miss you sweet cat.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Trying Tuesday

I guess things are better, I'm still emotionally wrung out. Last night I took my cat Dusty (actually K's cat, but like the kids we have joint ownership of the felines) to my aunt/the girls grandma, Dr. Grandma. Poor kitty has this lump on her side that kept getting BIG, and then it... eh... I'll spare you the disgusting details. Dr. Grandma is going to get Dusty (pictured above) fixed up at the vets and give her back to me. I'm thankful because I'm so fucking broke what with legal fees and car issues and buying food for the Tiny Terrorists that there was no way I could afford to take her to the vet. So... I begged and since she's awesome, she said yes. Now I wait to hear how my poor lumpy cat is doing.

Other than that... I'm stressed, very stressed. People are pissed at me, I'm over extended, not sleeping well and not eating. Life is GOOD! HAH! I worked today and don't feel like I got shit done (I didn't), AND one of my long time regular customers was unhappy with my work today. *sigh*

Speaking of work, here is the CAKE you want.. it's not disappointing at all (though one is just fucking weird looking, customer request).

So weird. This is white cake and has a strawberry filling, she wanted the dots on the side and wanted it to not look feminine. She specified exactly 6 strawberries were to go on it on the left hand side and the writing on the right - oh and the borders and writing are all done in fudge. I don't like writing in the fudge, it's thick and hard to control so the writing always looks sloppy.
This was in the case for about an hour. I put another one in that was pink and green dots and it sold today - I forgot to take photos of it.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Letters to No One

Dear Life;

Please stop busting my balls. I'm down already, stop kicking me. Let Sunday have been the end of a really painful and bad week, not the beginning.


Sunday, April 27, 2008

Polka Dot Sunday

The girls had a b-day party to go to today. It was outside and it was COLD. This is me pretending to enjoy the shitty cake - no not just being bitchy, it was nasty.
Did this one today, the dark is actually dark brown. Odd color choice.
New favorite baby shower cake.