Somebody Give Me A Gun!

Shit! Men are pissing me off today. What the fuck is wrong with all you men? Is it the phase of the moon that's making ya'll act like assholes? Somebody tell me please!

I mean fuck - My brother has pulled another one of his disappearing acts that is always preceded by a huge pack of lies and a veil of 'secrecy', my dad called me to tell me this as well as the fact that he JUST GOT OUT of the hospital for heart issues - WTF? Can he not tell his bitch of a wife to pick up the fucking phone and call me? My nephew has been acting like such a dumb fuck he got his ass tossed out of the house, one of my sisters clients is acting like such a mamby-pamby wishy-washy titty-baby that she's about ready to drop him, one man who professed his affections over and over has suddenly given me the 'oh let's just be friends' bullshit and my sancho keeps making dates only to cancel shortly after (pissing me off of course). What is going on? Hello!! Would ALL of the SANE MEN PLEASE move to the front?

Ok, I'm done ranting now... ya'll can move along now... Nothing to see here. ;o)

Redneck Toddler

My youngest was trying to feed one of the cats pork rinds. hehehe... I'm not sure if the cat ate them or Cabbage Patch ate them, I just know they were gone a few minutes later. Hmmm... I wonder.... If the cats will eat pork rinds, hell I could save some money on cat food! hehehe... ;o)

Footprints

Tonight my little darlings were laughing and playing (translation - tonight my bratty little kids were wound up like tops, running around screaming and screeching) - while I cheerfully prepared a delightful dinner (translation - while I scowled in the kitchen trying to prepare dinner for them to turn their nose up at). After a prolonged period of time, my beloved returned home to joyous noises of frivolity (translation - hubby had to work late, after what seemed like a fucking life-time he got home to the little heathens shrieking like banshees). We enjoyed a delicious family dinner with lively conversation and much entertainment (translation - the little people immediately turned their noses up at the beans and rice, Super Girl whined for an hour about how much she didn't want to eat beans while Cabbage Patch only ate hers as long as she had pork rinds to scoop them up with, we continually told Super Girl to keep her whining down to a mere whisper so we could watch Enterprise which she also whined about not wanting to watch). As hubby and I enjoyed a bit of camaraderie the little darlings romped and played in a cloud of fancy (translation - hubby and I downed a glass of cheap wine in a lame attempt to forget the children were acting like maniacs as the kids snuck into my bathroom and procured the baby powder). As we took our little ones off to bedie-bye we witnessed little footprints of angels (translation - we saw that they had poured the powder on the floor by the little power footprints and then got the priviledge of cleaning up all the fucking powder). What joy.

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The Big Five Personality Test

Extroverted	||||||||||||||||||	76%
Introverted	||||||	24%
Friendly	||||||||||||||||||||	84%
Aggressive	||||	16%
Orderly	||||||||||||||||	62%
Disorderly	||||||||||	38%
Relaxed	||||||||||||	44%
Emotional	||||||||||||||	56%
Intellectual	||||||||||||||||	68%
Practical	||||||||||	32%

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I'm not sure what I just found out... but what the fuck, it was interesting.

The BEST $.99 I Ever Spent!

Friday's shopping trip turned up an unlikely gem. The kids wanted a toy and I got Cabbage Patch a toy microphone. Super Girl wanted some chalk stuff instead. Well the microphone became the star attraction shortly after getting home. Cabbage Patch stood on a chair and sang (babbled) at me giving a lovely performance. When Super Girl got it she did the same, making up song after song then introducing her sister at intervals. It was funny. At nearly bed time on Friday I took said microphone away from them as they were fighting over it. I started playing with it. It's addictive. I did a lounge comedy act for hubby. He wanted to kill me by bed time though. I loved that microphone.

Saturday... While I was at work, hubby took the kids to the store to get milk and stuff, well he also stopped off at Big Lots and guess what he did... He spent $3 to get 3 more microphones. One for each of us. hehehehe... Oh yeah...

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

Fuck, I've been exceptionally busy... This is the first few moments I've had to myself since mid-day Friday.

Friday was Rosh Hashana. On Thursday I had discussed how I would take the car and do all the usual crap I do on Fridays, but by the end of the evening I said 'Fuck it, I don't want to' and negotiated with hubby to get groceries for Rosh Hashana. This was a brilliant idea... In theory at least. You already read about the battery thing that happened Friday morning, so I won't rehash that. I walked to the store with the little people to get some things, I got side tracked by the new Tuesday Morning that opened up where the Hastings used to be and we just went to the Big Lots and skipped the grocery store. That of course means I didn't get shit off the list for Rosh Hashana. Lucky for me I generally have a pretty well stocked pantry and had plenty to make for dinner - hubby would just have to pick up a few things. Later that evening while I'm preparing dinner I realized two things - one - I forgot to make Challah and two - I forgot how much I needed to get done before sundown... Well three also, I forgot to check when sundown was. *sigh* Anyway, I did finally get dinner finished, candles lit and prayers said. The dinner was fabulous - especially the meat filled pasta I made, served in a delicious, savory beef consume. Desert was less than great though - I always go through this, trying to find the perfect honey cake... This years cake was ok, almost icky.

Saturday

Saturday was a busy fun day. Work was long and profitable and we had plans to go to the The Corndog Festival! Our dear friend Peter finagled his sister into baby sitting for us, so we could all attend. It was a blast. We put together a cool entry - didn't remember to bring my camera this year so no cool pics. I started drinking shortly after getting my corndog for the evening. Drinks were moderately priced and came in BIG cups. I started getting drunk. And when I'm drunk... Well I say Fuck a lot (I do say it a fair amount while I'm sober) and I'm a slut (yeah, yeah I'm a slut when I'm sober also.. Just not as much). The part of all this that sucked - there were a LOT of GAY men there. Yeah my chances of getting 'lucky' with anyone other than myself (and fuck, I wasn't interested in that, I've already done me!) were slim and none. So I just kept drinking. People like to ply me with alcohol, apparently I'm very entertaining while I'm drunk (I'm somewhat entertaining while sober also, but I'm a lot less obnoxious while drunk). The judging happened - I really didn't look at all that many of the other entries but I had seen some of the ones that won and I was irritated that I DIDN'T win AGAIN! So I bitched and moaned... Or bitched and stumbled around like a drunk ho. Anyway, while I was whining and holding my losing entry one of the people who put the whole thing on, saw me and felt some sympathy for my pathetic state and gave me a weenie prize! A left over. eh, who cares - I WON SOMETHING! (yes I did yell that when she gave me the bag - I'm such a dork when I'm drunk) It's a T-shirt from the bar, but it's a pretty cool T-shirt... And I WON IT (sort of). I'll link to the official picture of my entry when they have it on the site.