Friday, June 22, 2007

Because Hating One’s Mother Is Not Instinct Until 13, I Do What I Can

My offspring HATE me right now. Well let me correct that. My youngest progeny (you know, the alien being from Copper Head) HATES me right now. And WHY you may be (or probably are not) asking at this very moment (the moment right before you realize you have wasted at least 3 very important moments of your very important life reading this brain damage causing crap I expel on this site)? Because of a HAMBURGER. A hamburger I made in my own (in much need of a good floor cleaning) kitchen by my own (very much stained by cake icing) hands. You see, my crime was in making four hamburgers and not three hamburgers. Since the other contributor to their DNA is out tonight (enjoying a childfree night with his beloved), there was no one else to eat the third (rather puny looking) hamburger and there in lies the problem. The oldest of those expelled from my womb laid claim to the hamburger before the youngest could call dibs. Now we all must suffer for that indignity.

The smallest of the Tiny Terrorist began a campaign to let me (and everyone else within earshot) know of her displeasure at the injustice that is an older sister claiming the last tiny little pathetic hamburger. Not even the offering of a COOKIE would pacify her rage. A COOKIE!! She TURNED DOWN a COOKIE!!! She truly is NOT my offspring. After a full 5 minutes of her screaming of the insult of being denied the last HAMBURGER, I did the only thing I could do (and no it did not involve a roll of duct tape), I said “Shut up! Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed!” and subsequent appeals from her were met with a hasty “Shut it now! Get on to bed!”

As I type this, it has been a good 20 minutes since they headed upstairs to bed and she just now stopped kicking the bed frame. She broke it, fell out of bed or just decided it was pointless. Whatever, it’s quiet. I’m happy. In 10 years, she can bring this up again as illustration of what a horrible, uncaring mother I am for denying her that hamburger, and then she’ll storm off to her room and slam the door. Either that or she will have decided to move back to Copper Head Planet. I am so going to charge her alien parents back child support when I find them!
Waiting For Laundry

Just a quick update while I wait for my laundry to finish.

Though I still love my job, yesterday was the first day I did not enjoy it. It was not the actual job, it was the person who started a bunch of stuff and didn’t bother to finish it, so I had to finish it all and didn’t get to the things I needed to get done. That and I don’t really like mopping the whole damn bakery. Oh well, it could be a much worse job.

I got horribly sad news yesterday, Coco the Wonder Dog has macular degeneration and will be blind within a year. Not only that but the tumors that were removed from her nasal cavities are growing back. The facts are that Coco probably had one or two more good years left and that is heartbreaking because she’s only three years old. I’m so sad that I’ll only have my time share dog for maybe another year.

My kids just made their own lunch. A ketchup sandwich for one and a bowl of cereal for the other. Yes the ketchup sandwich was for the offspring who is the former occupant of Copperhead Planet.

A friend of mine who is very dear to my heart is moving away from Texas. I’m so very sad about that.

Life doesn’t suck all around though, K is going to spend tonight with his boyfriend. Yay for him.

My pink haired offspring still has pink hair and damn that’s cute!

Well I better get in the shower now – gotta leave for work in 20 minutes.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

She Said WHAT?

I just had this conversation with my youngest offspring:

Her: Before I came from Copper Head.
Me: Hmmm?
Her: Before I lived on Copper Head.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, I lived on Copper Head and it was different than here. But the Master he didn’t like me so he hit me in the head. And my mom and dad they didn’t like me so I left and came here then I lived in your tummy and now I’m here.
Me: Ahhhhhh.
Her: Kitty! I love the kitty!
Me: Did they have kitties on Copper Head?
Her: No. Only dogs. Copper Head dogs.

All of that was in response to me giving her a hug and saying “I love you! You are my favorite 5 year old! My favorite 5 year old with hot pink hair!” I see years of therapy in her future… luckily it won’t be my fault with this kid!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Now On To Other Stuff… In Random Order

I believe I’ve found someone to watch my kids while I work! AND it shouldn’t cost me ALL of my pay check! Woohoo!

My offspring got to see the shuttle launch while in Florida. To which my youngest progeny screamed “I SAW IT! I SAW IT! I SAW IT!”

When the Little People returned home I told them that Hanta had passed away. As expected Super Girl took it hard and sobbed. Of course just the sight of my oldest crying from grief made me cry also. After a few moments we both regained composure and Cabbage Patch patted me on the arm then said “It’s okay mom, you can buy another gerbil.”

I still absolutely love my job. This past Friday and Saturday were so insanely busy I barely had time to breath, but it’s be just amazing. The only kvetch I do have is the music that is piped in all day long – Contemporary Christian Rock aka Jesus Make-Out music. And if that isn’t bad enough, the fact that there seems to be an extremely limited amount of Jesus Make-Out music out there so I get to hear the same shit every day. So much so that if I ever come face to face with Scott Stapp I may have to kick him right in the balls for as many times as I’ve had to listen to the SAME FREAKING CREED SONG. (All day long I have that South Park episode where Cartman puts together a Christian rock band going trough my head.)

I let my progeny dye their hair yesterday. Hush up, it’s all temporary dye. One has red and the other has hot pink/fuchsia. They love it and it looks cute.

My youngest is a total ‘tard at times. Just a bit ago she was jumping around like a maniac. When I asked her what she was doing she said “I’m going to be cool!” Then she did this kick thing and fell right on her butt to which I said “Haha, looks like you just fell on your butt!" She looked up at me and said “
That's cool." She gets the DORK award of the day.

Now… I’m off to make dinner. ;)