In Her Jammies



She was soooo thrilled to see them this morning, you would have thought I had made them out of fabric that was spun out of gold. Kids. heh.

Jammie Pants!



This is what Super Girl needed for school tomorrow - jammie pants. Why? Because tomorrow is Spirit Day and everyone is supposed to wear their pj's. Well my ladies prefer to wear K's t-shirts for night shirts - this isn't an issue since he has about a million t-shirts, but it's totally inappropriate for her to go to school in. So I had to make jammie pants. And aren't they cute! I love that fabric (D don't look to close... that fabric only seems like it's familiar to you... It's really not that cool fabric you left here a couple of years ago for me to make something for you and we never did... no really it's not.. no, really... really... maybe...) - I like it so much I think I want to make something out of it too!

Anyway, there are the pants, marvel at them, be amazed, sing the praises, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Last Minute Crap!
File this under: Bitching

Silly school with their silly themed Spirit Days. Taking a break from my sewing projects to do this for Super Girl. *sigh*

Got Bit By A What???


Our conversation:

Her: What that?
Me: A bug bite.
Her: Bug bite?
Me: Yup.
Her: What bite you?
Me: A bug.
Her: A Spider?!?! *said all wide eyed and surprised*
Me: Um.. no, I don't think so.
Her: An alligator?
Me: Yeah, an alligator bit me.
Her: *pondering for a moment* That would hurt me to get bite by an alligator.
Me: Yeah. Maybe it was a shark.
Her: Nooooo. It was an alligator. *said with utter disdain and my unbelievable suggestion of shark bite when it's obvious the two tiny spots on my body are alligator marks*
Me: Okay, whatever you say. It was an alligator.
Her: Yeah.

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz


Well that's a surprise. Well... not really.

Fortune, Is That You Smiling On Me?

Dear gawd, what fun I had tonight. I did three measurments, picked up a new order and discovered I'll be making not one kilt but 4 kilts! Holy fuck I'm gonna be a freaking expert when this is done! Woohoo! I'm damned excited. The downside of all this is that I probably won't have time to make MY OWN garb. *sigh* must channel all the time management and organization skills I can muster!! I'm still excited.

Also I joined a brothel. I'm the Sheep Whore, that would be the one catering to all the Scots. (And how did I become the Sheep Whore you may be asking yourself, well I said Cheap Whore and Dora heard Sheep Whore which is much, much funnier. So BAAAAAAAA!) Heidi found lovely chicken bracelets with dangling cocks for our Chicken Coop. I can't wait for dangling cocks around my wrist!

Is it faire yet???? heh, actually I think I'm panicking - Oh damn! Faire is here! Can't wait. ;o)

FAIRE!

I just sent an e-mail to my boss saying that I need to know who to contact for coverage for this weekend as I WON'T be working this weekend. Got my ticket lined up, got my garb washed, got a ride set up, Faire just needs to start!!!

You're So Vain

You probably think this blog is about you. But it's not! It's about ME! Look I colored today, I think it looks damn good.



Sound Track For Today: Everclear - Songs From An American Movie Vol 1

I keep playing this CD over and fucking over! Damn. Don't make fun of me for liking Everclear - I don't like everything you do, so there.

Song for today: Now That It's Over

Yeah right!

One, two, three, four

Break down, shake for me
Nothing ever is the way you want it to be
Nothing even tastes right now that it's over

Break down, shake for me
Don't write words unless you want me to read them
Nothing really matters now that it's over

Maybe we can be friends
Now that we're older
We can have fun like we did in the early days
Now that it's over

Yeah right!

Break down, shake for me
Nothing ever seems the way it ought to be
Nothing ever seems right now that it's over

Yeah, now maybe we can be friends
Maybe we can be closer
We can have fun like we did in the old days
Now that it's over

Oh yeah...


My bad dreams just don't seem the same
Baby without you
I wish you were willing to accept the blame
Yeah, for everything you do

My nightmares just don't scare me now
Baby without you, yeah yeah
I wish that I could find the words to tell
In the best way possible, you and your friends to go to hell

Yeah right!

Whoa, breakup time is never easy to do
Nothing ever ends the way you want it to
Nothing seems to make sense now that it's over

Yeah, now maybe we can be friends
Yeah, now that you're leaving
You can be nice to me
Maybe I'm dreaming
I am a lot better now than just okay
Maybe I am just wakin' up in my own way
Now that it's over
Now that it's over

My bad dreams just don't seem the same
Baby without you
I wish you were willing to accept the blame
Yeah, for all the shitty things you do

Nightmares just don't scare me now
Baby without you
I wish that I could find the words to tell
You to politely go fuck yourself
Yeah, now that it's over...

I do love that song. I wish I had Sparkle And Fade by them because I love Santa Monica and I love to play that over and over and over until I was ready to puke. (I already do have it downloaded on my computer, I just wish I had it on CD so I could play it in my car)

Random Shit

My new retainer makes me sound like Sylvester right now. Suffering Succotash!

I haven't gotten shit done today other than color my hair. The whole flat tire, driving K to work, going to get retainer stuff is wasting my whole freaking day. I did clean the living room though, and one load of laundry is now CLEAN! Woohoo! Now I need a nap!

My orthodontis drives a big white Cadilac Escalade - fully loaded I'm sure... I wonder if he's related to Jesus (who as we know drives a gold Cadilac Escalade pimped out with custom plates that say JESUS - I saw him in my hood)?

Is it mean to say that someone looks like a post-op transvestite if it's an accurate description?

Team America is such a fucking offensive movie, but I laughed my ass off. I just want to get the parts where they take care of the the Susan Sarandon puppet and the Tim Robbins puppet on mp3 so I can play them over and over.

A Few Laughs For ME!

Things that are amuseing me: That I somehow got shampoo up my nose in the shower. Duh! That someone is pissed at me for what I write on this BLOG and that they would remove my comment on their blog because 'Oh My God! Someone might link to this blog and read what I wrote!' Get over it dude, it's all quite public already and nobody reads this blog. Stop and listen? Hear the crickets chirping? I don't know what you are afraid of, the truth might be hard to swallow at times, but one should never fear it (it will set you free, isn't that the saying??). Try it sometime.

K got a flat today... that's not really funny, but he admitted having a moment of my "I told you so." as I had told him the tire needed to be replaced. Just saved me some time.

I'm off to the ortho!

Bursting With Excitement!!!

I got a call for an order for a kilt! I'm sooooo excited! I've wanted to make one for a while now. I was going to make one for my ex but he just wouldn't commit to me(hmmmm.... a pattern?) on whether he wanted me to make it or not. Anyway this will be my FIRST one! I'm doing some research on kilt pricing and I'll only charge them half of that because it will be my FIRST time. I'm sooo freaking excited. Stay tuned for more developments on my KILT project and the completion of the rest of my projects.

Ya know, for a day that started out pretty crappy, it's turned out to be pretty great.

Shirt Finished




All done, granted it took me far to long to finish this shirt - way to many self indulgent pitty party breaks. Sheesh... can someone please give me a good kick? I think I need one, I just gotta get over this.

So... I'm pretty well convinced that I WILL go to Scarby this weekend. My dear friends have just about convinced me that I need to and it will be wonderful and all. I'll be with them and that will be fabulous!!

Anyway, admire the shirt! It's Fabulous!

Basket Case



That's me, a fucking basket case. Goddamn I'm tired of this. I see a picture of Michael/Grim and Loa/Chandra and it's like a knife in my heart. I am so tired of crying about this. I'm not even sure I'm going to go to Scarby opening weekend now, I know they'll be there and fuck if I cry of a picture of them, how am I going to react in faire???? *sigh* Why didn't he end things with me before faire season? It's not fair that I'm thinking of skipping faire because of this. I was really looking forward to this, now I'm dreading it.

I don't hate him, maybe that's what makes this so hard. I miss him, we talked just about every freaking day - we could talk for hours at a time. He's funny and intersting. I think I pissed him off last week thought, not my intent, but it happens. I really do wish him well, everyone deserves to be happy and if that makes him happy, that's great. I really am working toward a Zen attitude about all this. It will happen, I know... just wish it had already happened.

Anyway, thanks for listening internet, I know I'll be back with more whineing and moaning because I have a feeling my heart is going to hurt about this for a bit longer. *sigh* I'll be fine though, I always am. Need more tissues that's all.

Dangerous Night



Before I start this tale, let me be clear that I bear no ill will towards K and he bears none towards me. All of the animosity that might provoke either one of us (me mostly) to spill the other's blood was brief and has passed many years ago. Now on to the tale.

K is a very fuzzy guy. His hair is super thick and his beard grows in thick and wooly like a sheeps coat. For nearly as long as we have been married (11 years in June), I've trimmed his beard and cut his hair - without incident. Tonight was like no other night.

K was looking more like Ted Kaczynski than like himself so I figured it was time to bring out the sheers and get the dirty work out of the way. K got the clippers out and started getting them ready when disaster struck! Well okay, that's a bit of an exageration, a minor accident happened as he was cleaning the blades and checking the clippers, and he cut his thumb, right under the nail - OUCH! (see first picture). When K signaled that his bleeding was finished and the clippers were ready to lose his winter coat, I get started. Part way through the bush that is his beard I decide I need to change guides on the clippers to get a closer cut. I turn off the clippers and pull off the first guide, as I'm putting the second guide on the damn clippers jump from my hand and attack me! Cutting three of my fingers! (the pinky finger hurt the worst!)(see second picture)

That should have been a warning to STOP! But I rarely heed warnings like that. We forage ahead. Things were going well, we were discussing current events in our lives when suddenly the guide flew off the clippers and hit the floor. The problem with that is that I didn't realize the guide had flown off the clippers until it hit the floor, meaning I had already put the clippers back to K's head, there by giving him a VERY close shave in one spot. Okay, okay, I gave him a bald spot - square, bald square. Yeah I did. It wasn't my fault though! The damn clippers are possessed or something! They were out to get us! Anyway... When I heard the guide hit the floor I realized the error in my ways and GASPED as I looked at the bald square now in K's hair. K started laughing - he had JUST been joking about his imaginary bald spot now being visible with shorter hair... well now it wasn't imaginary or a joke. He kept laughing. I started laughing, realizing that he wasn't going to grab a knife from the knife drawer (which unfortunately was closer to him than me) and turn it into a bad episode of CSI. I literally doubled over laughing, partly from shock and partly from relief that he wouldn't kill me (I'd even call it justifiable homicide for this too) - I of course turned off the clippers first, wouldn't want to cut any of my lovely locks! It takes a good 5 minutes for us to stop laughing.

Luckily it's not really a huge deal, K prefers his hair pretty damn short especially in the back (it looks best like that also) and the bald square is toward the back. I just put the really short guide on the clippers and finished up, with many snickers and giggles and occasional waves of guilt. His hair looks fine now, really it does. Yes you can still see the bald square, but it's not so bad. In a week it will have grown in enough so I can do a quick trim and no one will be the wiser... except for everyone who actually sees the bald square and those who read about it on here.

I refrained from taking a photo of the incriminating area affected. I figured that was just best, I really didn't need to photo document my fuck up.

Anyway, before all was said and done, I had to clean the clippers. As I had already been injured by the clippers I decided to let K put the guide back on - and tragedy struck again! He was cut yet again by the Clippers of Pain! (picture three)Damn these things!

Everything is fine now, the blood is cleaned up, the wounds bandaged and K looks fine. I however will snicker about this for weeks, then feel horribly guilty for mameing K in such a way. Then snicker again.

Stop The Insanity!!*

Mercifly Beauty And The Beast has just ended. I can not watch that goddammed movie any more. I mean it. The moment it comes on, I have to turn away and do something else. It's not that I hate the movie, it's just been on far too many times in this household. It's torture ever damn time it's playing. I don't have to be looking at the screen to know what the characters are doing. I can see the movie running through my tortured mind even when I close my eyes. It's Disney Hell. I must hide that movie for a few months (or years).


*ps... what ever happened to the dyke looking chick who started that phrase?

Starbucks Please!

I worked out today, truly an amazing feat. I was working out consistently until mid January when I got sick... a bad case of LazyAssItis. Anyway, I worked out again today... and I'm tired now. Fuck that was hard. Now I want a big Frappichino with Extra whipped cream! *sigh* but no such luck for me.

Pondering...

Is it blasphemous for me to want some chocolate Easter candy? and if so to what religion? It's not like bunnies and eggs are Christian symbols. Wonder about the special Easter Kit Kat bars... mmmmmm nondenominational Easter candy? They were good... especially the dark chocolate ones. Damn they were awsome. So good I'd probably cut someone if they stood between me and my dark chocolate Kit Kat. 'Gimme the fucking candy and nobody get's hurt!'

I swear an awful lot. Is it any wonder that one of my oldest's first words was 'shit'?

PMS fucking sucks! I need some Starbucks, some chocolate and some dick RIGHT NOW dammit! Okay, I'll settle for Starbucks, chocolate and batteries.

MOVIE REVIEW
The Upside Of Anger

I keep fighting the urge to write a long, angry, sad, self pitying post. It may be cathartic to do so, but I don't think it would be a wise thing to do. I know it would come off mean and I am not a mean person, I really don't wish to cause others pain, despite the amount I am feeling at the moment. I may write the post, not likely I would post it though, as I said I have no wish to cause others pain. I know many people read this crap I type, so I try to live my life as though I'm always in the public eye, I try to keep the private, private and have no secrets. More people should live like that - no secrets, no lies, recognize that private is one thing and a secret is another - (private is closing the door when you shower, secret is a girlfiend you never let anyone know about so you can have another girlfriend in public) live your life in the open and you have very few instances when you hurt someone, have to explain yourself or have to appologize. Hmmm... but I'm off track again aren't I? I did say I wouldn't write a long, angry, sad, self pitying post so I'll stop this right here and talk about the movie.

The Upside Of Anger stars Kevin Costner and Joan Allen. Joan Allen carries this movie and is absolutely beautiful doing it - it's hard to fathom that she is 49, she looks amazing. Allen plays a woman who's husband of many years leaves her suddenly presumably to live with his assistant in Sweden. Now had I have know this I might have opted to see the Vin Diesel movie The Pacifier instead. This was probably not the best choice for a woman (me) who's still dealing with being jilted by the man she loves. I cried with her as she tried to understand why she had been left and what she could have done wrong. One scene when she couldn't get out of bed and talked about how she always wanted to kick the wimpy women who whined about being left and then there she was like that, was quite poignant to me - I believe I've felt the exact same. Though the movie is about Terry (Allen's character) dealing with her abandonment, betrayal and lonliness, it's not an hour and a half of her whineing and crying. Her neighbor Denny (played by Costner) befriends her as his drinking buddy and slowly becomes part of her family. The relationships between Terry and her daughters really becomes the central focus of the movie and not her growing relationship with Denny. Which is a good thing because I think it would have been trite to have her fall into a fabulous romance right after being abandoned and would have made her character 2 dimentional. Unfortunately the daughters are the weakest characters in the movie. Keri Russell plays one daughter and despite Russell being a wonderful actress, she wasn't convincing in this movie - I wasn't even convinced she WAS in the movie. The youngest daughter is the only one who does a sterling job and that really is sad. The mother/daughter tension was painful for me to watch, it was very realistic and reminded me of my own mother. It made me wonder if this would be my life in 10 years, two angry teenaged daugters and one bitter angry mother pushing them to succeed because I never had.

The movie is full of tension. Terry is an anguished, angry woman who bristles and snaps at anyone who crosses her in the begining. Denny an ageing lonely baseball hero slowly killing himself with alchohol. They make an unlikely friendship and an even more unlikely coupleling (mercifly there is only one scene of Costner shirtless after their frist romp) who managed to enrich each other's lives. The ending of the movie is pure Hollywood cop-out. It completly nulified the begining of the movie and left me thinking 'No fucking way.'

Though this movie comes off as a comedy in the trailer, I don't think it can be characterized as one, it's more of a drama with some damn funny moments. One of my favorites is at Terry's oldest daughters wedding reception when she confronts her 2nd daughters smarmy, twice her age boyfriend and ends up slapping the hell out of him - not once but twice! It was fabulous and I laughed hardest at that - maybe I enjoyed that one just a wee bit to much, but it was damn funny and he sooooo deserved it. There were many laughs and many tears. This movie isn't really for everyone, infact when we got up to leave I looked around and saw that about half of the people in the theater had left during the movie - I didn't think it was bad enough to leave after paying to get in, but I suppose if you were looking for typical Hollywood fare with easy plots and happy endings, then you wouldn't like this. I wasn't sure I liked the movie last night and after sleeping, I think I did like it - it had sort of complex plot and decent writing - except the ending. ;o) I don't recommend if you've had your heart stomped recently to see the movie, but I do if you have been the one to stomp on a heart recently. ;o)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

I really, really hate daylight savings. Because of daylight savings I didn't go game with my friends this weekend, leaving me all patheticly alone - which normally is not an issue, I enjoy the blessed peace and quiet, but this weekend it left me with much to much time to think. I reset my alarm Saturday night then reset it early Sunday morning because getting up at 5:30 am which is now 6:30 am was way to early, so I opted for 7:30 am and then rushed on to work. I forgot about my resetting my alarm last night when I headed to bed with a nasty headache. Had whacked out dreams, at one point one that was oddly religious - and not in a way that would appeal to my religious leanings (this I recall as I thought "How oddly religious and Christian" in my dream), then I was all asleep and snuggly thinking 'mmmm bed... warm... snuggly... stop weird dreams..mmmm bed." and I woke and looked at the clock, realized it was 7 am and I was running LATE! So the rest of the morning was spent prodding the Little People to move FAST! This of course brought about the appearance of The Badger who only recently stopped being just plain mean. *sigh* Waking up EARLY = EVILNESS.

So anyway... I have no Splenda for my coffee... I blame Daylight savings. I'm also out of creamer... Daylight savings fault. My head hurts... because of Daylight savings. My weekend sucked (except for movie time) - Daylight savings... No money in my account... sucked out by Daylight savings. I have a million things to do before this weekend... Daylight savings fault. Might have to skip opening weekend of Scarby - blame that pesky Daylight savings. My bra and panties don't match because of Daylight savings.

See.. it's a bad idea. Someone needs to cut out this crazy shit of changing the time around. It's going to lead to the fall of civilization as we know it!

My New Boyfriend




Isn't he adorable?? And he's soooo happy with me! Damn he was just all over me. I told A that he was my new boyfriend and her response was "Too bad he doesn't have a bigger dick." hehehe... Sick woman!

Hunting Wabbits

Dear K;

I wanted to tell you to not go looking for your chocolate bunny. You will not find it. Something horrible happened to it. Seems there was a Rabbit Hunt last night and your chocolate bunny was caught (eaten). I am sorry. I tried to do everything I could to save your bunny (I closed the cabinet, but it's so easy to open), but the forces (of temptation, being broken hearted and PMS) of EVIL (that would be me) were to great and your bunny was done in (eaten).

My deepest sympathies and regrets;

Judy,
Expert Chocolate Bunny Hunter
(The Evil One Who Ate That Chocolate Bunny)