Lack Of Antidepressants OR Just Really Bitchy

I sit here wondering if I'm just a bitch, or I need to get back on my Zoloft... and if I need to get back on my Zoloft, doesn't that really mean that I'm jsut a real bitch deep down? Hmmm... something worth thinking about... Is Zoloft the only thing that has kept me worth being around?

Anyway back to what I was talking about... if in fact I really was talking about anything at all. Fuck! It's nosy around here and I'm about to start bitch slappin'! Damn there is this one person that comes over for games that get's my kids all wound up and acting crazy. Grrr... stupid bitch.

Best Damn Curry Yet!

Tonight hubby cooked. He called for Chinese delivery. We made ramen noodles for the kids because they NEVER eat what we get them - and this time was absolutly no different, even though we didn't order a meal for them, we did order egg rolls for them, but they would not eat them AT ALL. I got the Curry Chicken, extra hot. Hubby could smell my food through the sealed container. Oh man it was good. At one point it felt like my nose hairs were being burnt! Oh mamma that was good! I know later tonight I will hear about my dinner choice from the natives who worship the Stomach God (who lives in my gut). I'll be sleeping and suddenly awaken to pounding drums in my stomach, hear the chanting of the natives 'Gav-a-scon!' I will imediately sucum to the demands of the tribe. It will be impariative that I apease the angry Stomach God. My impertanance will be punished as the great bon fire burning in my gut will be stoked to massive proportions. After many many offerings to the Stomach God, the tribe will grow quiet, some murmurs will still be able to be heard, the great fire will be extinguished and the Angry Stomach God will contemplate that which I have sent to ease his anger and fury. If the offering is good and pleases the Stomach God, he will sleep... for now... if it is unworthy, he will become even more angry and cause pain and destruction, the tribe will sound the drums again, the fire will burn larger, the offering will have to be larger. Eventually the Stomach Gods' anger will disapate, but the suffering will have already happened. The pain will linger in my memory, the ache will stay fresh. I will know that I have angred the Great and Powerful Stomach God. For days after, the Stomach God will anger eaisly, lashing out at any little offering that is not just perfect, forcing me to yield to his will. And yield I will, none can resist the force and power of the Stomach God, none can withstand the pain inflicted by the Angry Stomach God. So far, nothing has happend, but I swear I hear war drums and chanting - softly... very softly. I may make an offering before bed in hopes of heading off the impending wrath from the offensive offering of Curry Chicken.

I guess it would have been eaiser to say "Oh fuck, that spicy chicken is going to have me up half the night. Sucks to have reflux. I better take some antacids before bed, maybe it won't bother me if I do that." But it wasn't nearly as entertaining. ;o)

Seeking Inertness

Main Entry: in·ert
Pronunciation: i-'n&rt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin inert-, iners unskilled, idle, from in- + art-, ars skill -- more at ARM
Date: 1647
1 : lacking the power to move
2 : very slow to move or act : SLUGGISH
3 : deficient in active properties; especially : lacking a usual or anticipated chemical or biological action
synonym see INACTIVE, asleep, idle, passive, quiet, sleepy
Related Word impotent, powerless; apathetic, impassive, phlegmatic, stolid; dead, inanimate, lifeless

That’s what I’d like to be right now… inert
What I wish the kids were currently… inert
What I want to for the rest of the day… inert
What the kids are now… NOT inert.
What I have to be right now … Not inert

What has caused this sudden quest for inertness? I think it has to do with the fact that it’s gray and cloudy. Maybe it’s because I stayed up until 1:30 am cleaning my house. It’s not that I’m really tired, but I just don’t feel like doing much today. No, no, that’s wrong. I don’t feel like doing ANYTHING today. Hence the mention of being inert. But I’m not inert. I’m busy. Chasing kids, cleaning, doing laundry…. Anything but being inert.

So… my quest for inertness is not to be fulfilled. I’m off to do more laundry, cleaning, etc.

What Was I Thinking??????

To celebrate hubby getting a job again, he suggests we all go to a local Mexican restaurant - I said yes since technically tomorrow is his birthday AND he is starting a new job. I don't know about him, but I had this vision of us eating a peaceful dinner as a family, two cute kids being adorable and people having a hard time not looking at the adorable children. Yeah... then the roofies wore off and reality smacked me right in the face. Sheesh. Nothing like that happened... It was more like DINNER WITH EEEEEEVIL! The kids were abso-fucking-lutley possessed. I think I could have brought two chimpanzees to the restaurant with us and they would have acted better. Beelzebub... I mean Super Girl was in full whine mode within 5 minutes of being at the restaurant, her little sister Lucifer... Cabbage Patch decided that tonight was the night to screech at the top of her lungs and jump on the seat. Super Girl would not eat ANYTHING that was ordered for her - and she even picked out her own food. Cabbage Patch would eat some, then stand up, screech loudly and jump on the seat - didn't help that her sister was encouraging her to do these things. Dinner was a delicious place of tamales eaten between harsh glares at children and muttered threats spoken through clenched teeth. Damn those children were acting evil - I kept waiting for their heads to spin around and for them to spit pea soup. Sheesh... Mommy needs a stiff drink now.

WOOOHOOO! Finally!

Hubby goes back to work tomorrow (his birthday ironically - and I'm the one getting the gift. hehehehehe..) I'm so excited - I'll have my life back to normal. It's just a contract job and only lasts until July, but it's a JOB and that means that he's OUT OF THE FRIGGIN' HOUSE for 9 or so hours a day. Ahhhh... my schedule is back to being MINE. (yeah I know, I'm a bitch... but hell we were running out of things to talk about since he's been home all the time.)

Ahhhh… The Irony Is Never Lost On Me…

Last night I had a long discussion with my boss about work, etc. She called to get me to work a hospital, ask me some questions about a different hospital and we discussed these new patient information release forms (she got all testy with me at one point and said my name all irritated like… and sounded like my grandmother, which pissed me off and made me want to hang up on her ass!). At the end of the conversation I told her I could work a particular hospital for a while if she needed someone until she could get someone else. (Incidentally the person I trained last for this hospital just up and disappeared – she worked for a couple of weeks, then didn’t show up again. So now they need someone again.) She tried to pin me down to working there long term and I told her that I could only work until my husband got a job, that I would not be putting my kids in full time day care as that would be just insane to spend that much money. She agreed. Today I go work; it’s a good day, average number of babies, average sales. I call home to chat with hubby while waiting on an appointment and he tells me that he got a contract that starts this coming Monday and lasts until July and could go longer. Hehehehehe… Just when I commit to working, he gets a job. Hell if I had known that’s how it was going to go down, I sure as hell would have done this weeks ago! So… now I have to call my boss and tell her that I can’t work on Monday’s and Tuesdays. She’s going to be so damn pleased to hear that… really she is… she may even say my name like my grandmother again. I can’t wait.

Kitchen Fires, Toxic Fumes And Knives Hurled At Me… Damn! What A Damn Fine Mother’s Day!

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure everyone knows that by now. I worked because it was a Sunday and I normally work on Sundays (as I’m sure everyone who reads this on a semi-regular basis knows already). After a busier than normal Sunday at the hospital and lower than expected sales for the day, I headed home. I was in a really good mood. Everyone was napping when I got home, so who am I to make waves… I napped also. I heard the children and hubby get up shortly after I went to nap and heard them leave for the store. When they returned Super Girl bursts into my room yelling “Happy Mother’s Day mamma! We got you some flowers!” hehehehe… I tried to send her out to watch cartoons or torture the cats – I didn’t care what, I just wanted to nap some more. I was tired from us having friends over for a delightful dinner the night before and of course it ran a bit on the late side. Once I realized that more sleep was just a feeble wish of mine that would not come true, I got up and stumbled into the living room. Hubby informs me that he and the little people had procured ingredients for a special Mother’s Day dinner for me but we are out of butter so he (and them) would need to head back to the store to purchase butter. Super Girl informs me for the 500th time that I have flowers, then they leave. While they are at the market I poke around the kitchen, hmmmm…. Fresh green beans – very nice…. Ohhhhh fresh corn on the cob – I do like that… Ahhhhh steak! I love that!… yum yum yum yum yum! Dinner rolls! Mmmmm the food of the gods! I wash and trim the green beans while I wait for my family to return. Super Girl announces to me as soon as she walks through the door that “We got you a card mamma!” I hear hubby muttering “Thanks for keeping a secret…” hehehehe… kids.

I go sit on the couch and start watching Treasure Planet as hubby starts preparing dinner. 10 or so minutes into this Super Girl starts yelling at me “Mamma! Mamma! There’s a fire in the oven!” I look towards the kitchen and see the yellow-orange glow of fire and hop up off the couch. In the kitchen I see fire coming up from under one of the burners, hubby has been pouring salt on it to put it out. Not working, but it’s not really getting any bigger, I help by popping up the burner and the grease catching thingie that goes under the heating element – ya see, the fire is not IN the oven, it’s IN the STOVE TOP. Actually under the burner. Once the heating element and the grease catching thingie are off it takes just a bit more salt and it’s out. I turn on the vent to suck the smoke out of the kitchen and head back to the comfort of the couch, restart the DVD. We all laugh. 10 minutes later I smell toxic fumes and muse aloud “What’s that smell? What’s burning?” A quick look towards the kitchen answers both of those questions. I rush off to the kitchen as the lovely yellow-orange glow seems larger this time. Ahhhh… the stovetop fire again. Well at least it’s not one that would require the fire extinguisher this time. We go through the whole removal of the heating element and grease catcher thingie and pouring the salt on the fire. I ask, “Did you clean that out before?” “Yes I did.” Is the rather testy answer I get from hubby. (men.) He shoos me aside to get the steaks out of the oven and as he takes the steaks out of the oven he knocks a LONG serrated knife off the counter and on my foot. A look at my foot and a quick count of piggies reveal than none have ‘gone to the market’ and his feeble attempt to kill me has come to nothing. I go open windows in the living room to let in some breathable air in the house. Back to the couch for me…. Restart the DVD yet again.

A few minutes later hubby serves the most delightful dinner, he even cut the corn off the cob for me. Mmmm mmmm. The steak was so damn good and so tender. Hubby serves the little people (who of course turn their nose up at everything except the corn and rolls) and he finally sits down with his plate. We restart the DVD… AGAIN.

So all in all, the food was fabulous, the movie was really good and hubby’s lame attempts to kill me were unsuccessful. It was a good Mother’s Day. Of course after thinking it all over, I don’t think I’ll let hubby make me a ‘surprise special dinner’ anymore… every time he’s done that, it’s been absolutely spectacular, but something has ALWAYS happened… once he made dinner for our anniversary, the dish washer broke and flooded the kitchen and hallway, we ended up eating our elegant meal on paper plates because I didn’t want to get plates dirty since we didn’t know how long it would take to get the dishwasher fixed (it was Friday night). Another time he made dinner, the kitchen sinks clogged and he could NOT get them unclogged, so again we ended up eating our gourmet dinner on paper plates. No more surprise special dinners made by him, they always taste wonderful, but one of these days they’ll be the death of me!

Creepy Kids Shows…

PBS has some of the best (and most educational of course) shows for children, but they also corner the market in creepy kids shows. These are the shows I actively avoid, as my children absolutely love these shows. One in particular is JayJay The Jet Plane. It’s a bunch of computer animated planes with human-ish faces. They just don’t move right though (and the voices are irritating). Another seriously annoying show is Barney – I don’t even have to explain why that one should be outlawed. Seven Little Monsters also joins this list, that is one fucked up show. 7 monsters… one mamma monster…. None of the monster ‘kids’ look alike…. Hmmmm… me thinks mamma monster has been a slut. It’s one of the kids shows that works too hard at its message. And… the monsters creep me out in a weird way; the monsters just don’t act like monsters, not scary or even Sesame Street monsterish, just bizarre and unsettling (the one that always dresses in the pink tutu is particularly disturbing… I know it’s a girl monster but it sure looks like a guy in drag… bad drag, and not the bad drag that’s funny, the bad drag that makes you shudder and look away). Arthur is another show on the list, it’s not a total loss but some of the characters are completely awful. Not exactly characters I want my children to decide to emulate. DW (Arthur’s little sister) is a brat and has no redeeming qualities, Francine is bossy and pushy (lesbian wanna be), Muffy is completely devoid of common sense and is a rich little brat. All of these characters wouldn’t be so bad if for one thing this wasn’t be touted as an educational program and if the bad behavior was dealt with for what it is, inappropriate behavior. Luckily my kids don’t like Arthur that much. Nick Jr. has a one show that is a bit creepy, but only a little, Max and Ruby. Two bunny kids who live in a house. It’s not an awful show, but…. They don’t seem to have parents. They live in a BIG house alone, Ruby is a little girly bunny about 6 or 7 and Max is about 3 or 4 and shows symptoms of being autistic, they have a grandma bunny, but parents are never seen. Hmmmm… just what is in that large garden patch… maybe Mamma and Daddy bunny? I think someone needs to call the authorities on these bunnies.

Well that irritating show over now, I’ll stop griping.