Best Damn Curry Yet!

Tonight hubby cooked. He called for Chinese delivery. We made ramen noodles for the kids because they NEVER eat what we get them - and this time was absolutly no different, even though we didn't order a meal for them, we did order egg rolls for them, but they would not eat them AT ALL. I got the Curry Chicken, extra hot. Hubby could smell my food through the sealed container. Oh man it was good. At one point it felt like my nose hairs were being burnt! Oh mamma that was good! I know later tonight I will hear about my dinner choice from the natives who worship the Stomach God (who lives in my gut). I'll be sleeping and suddenly awaken to pounding drums in my stomach, hear the chanting of the natives 'Gav-a-scon!' I will imediately sucum to the demands of the tribe. It will be impariative that I apease the angry Stomach God. My impertanance will be punished as the great bon fire burning in my gut will be stoked to massive proportions. After many many offerings to the Stomach God, the tribe will grow quiet, some murmurs will still be able to be heard, the great fire will be extinguished and the Angry Stomach God will contemplate that which I have sent to ease his anger and fury. If the offering is good and pleases the Stomach God, he will sleep... for now... if it is unworthy, he will become even more angry and cause pain and destruction, the tribe will sound the drums again, the fire will burn larger, the offering will have to be larger. Eventually the Stomach Gods' anger will disapate, but the suffering will have already happened. The pain will linger in my memory, the ache will stay fresh. I will know that I have angred the Great and Powerful Stomach God. For days after, the Stomach God will anger eaisly, lashing out at any little offering that is not just perfect, forcing me to yield to his will. And yield I will, none can resist the force and power of the Stomach God, none can withstand the pain inflicted by the Angry Stomach God. So far, nothing has happend, but I swear I hear war drums and chanting - softly... very softly. I may make an offering before bed in hopes of heading off the impending wrath from the offensive offering of Curry Chicken.

I guess it would have been eaiser to say "Oh fuck, that spicy chicken is going to have me up half the night. Sucks to have reflux. I better take some antacids before bed, maybe it won't bother me if I do that." But it wasn't nearly as entertaining. ;o)