Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Motherhood, It’s All About Teaching Valuable Lessons… Like Holding A Grudge.

I’m irritable (don’t even make any PMS jokes fuckers, I’ll find you and cut you) and I probably have NO reason what-so-ever to be irritable. But that doesn’t keep me from feeling this righteous indignation on behalf of my first born.

This morning before school, Super Girl pulls a BIRTHDAY INVITATION from her back pack and excitedly tells me it’s for (insert over used girl’s name)’s birthday. I instantly felt pissed. I also instantly knew that I really should get over it, BUT I can’t. If you recall my post about Super Girl’s Pirate Party, you will recall that NONE of her school friends came to the party and NONE of the parents even BOTHERED to RSVP with regrets (ASSHOLES). I’m still PISSED about that. I know I need to get over, I’ve already said that… yet, since it’s a slight not against myself, which I can just blow off, it’s a slight against MY FIRST BORN! And I being the very protective mother that I am, can’t let it go… I just CAN’T! (don’t worry, I’m not out for VENGENCE… other than maybe the sneaky wish that this party totally blows and that this kid blames her mother for the rest of her life for ruining her 7th birthday party. But that’s just normal, I’m not talking about anything drastic like keying her car or photoshoping photos of the mom in compromising positions with farm animals and e-mailing them to her work/family/etc. or making a voodoo doll of the mom… well maybe the voodoo doll but that would just be THERAPY for me, not a REVENGE thing.)

I’m actually shocked that I’m still pissed about the birthday thing, I’m not the type of person to hold a grudge. Except about this. In fact I won’t even talk to the mom’s of the two little girls that catch the same bus as Super Girl who were invited to her party. We don’t even catch the bus at the same place (that was Super Girl’s idea, not mine, but I’m fine with it since I’ve made a friend with a different mom who waits there with her son). I know, I’m childish and petty, I can live with that. But I digress…

I am now vacillating between actually letting my offspring go to this party for the offspring of at lease one very rude parent or of sending my regrets (with a flaming bag of dog shit on her porch).

Other crap… I really don’t have time to WRITE more right now, as I have a FILTHY house to clean, a MOUNTAIN of laundry to scale, HUNDREDS of sewing projects to finish and a CRAZY circus midget to duct tape to the stairs… er… I mean occupy with educational activities… yeah… educational activities.

BUT! I shall write more, there is much more to write about…

COMING SOON!

Spring Break Is OVER! The perilous tale of spring break and my near collapse into madness at the hands of my offspring (not really).
• Donuts with D
• Thrift Store fun
• Teddy Bear Park
• Jolly Rogers Movie Day
• Planting the ‘Garden’
• Lunch With Sable and The Wife
• “I spent $15 for what???”
• Hey! That’s MY $1 that paid for that!
• Oh yeah! I do have one of those don’t I!

Super Girl’s FABULOUS B-Day pressies just arrived!

Hanta and Bea have a new home.

Why I’m contemplating K’s brutal and painful murder and my need for a babysitter for Friday night and Sunday.

Why K is actually safe from DEATH (but no the pain… you’d be surprised what you can live through).

See! I told you I had a lot to write about! I’d do that now, but ya know, this house isn’t going to clean it’s self and so far my attempts to teach the cats to clean have all stalled at vacuuming – damn cat’s run every time they turn it on. Sheesh.