Alternative Kitty Livestyles
or Lesbian Pussy

Here's the conversation taking place right now:

her: 'Mamma, can Sunshine have kittens? Please. Please. please.'
me: 'no'
her: 'Why?'
Me: *thinking for a moment* 'Because... because she doesn't have a husband.' *thinking I had a good answer*
her: 'Dusty can be her husband'
me: 'no Dusty is a girl'
*her: 'A boy!'
me: 'no, she's a girl' *
Repeat from * to * until your head hurts
her: 'But can she have kittens?'
me: 'no... she doesn't have a husband'
her: 'oh please, Dusty can take care of them.'
me: 'no.'
Her: **continued generic begging similar to what's already been said by her.
Me: Ignoring the actual content of what she is babbling about now, it's all turning to a dull humm in my head.

I think I'll leave this up to hubby to explain to her that the cats are both GIRLS and can't have kittens together. I don't really want to get into same sex relationships and how they would need a donor to get pregnant or one wild drunken night out with no regrets (although we all know that Sunshine would have regrets - she's just that kind of cat, I honestly thinks she's probably Catholic or Jewish what with that guilt complex she has - and Dusty having a wild night out that resulted in conception is totally insane as she truly is the lesbian - and a male hating lesbian as that... but I digress). There will be no Pussys Gone Wild involving these cats!

Weird Kid

Super Girl is wearing a scarf around her face like a blind fold. I don't know why she wants to do this, but she does.... some where from far far ago I have a vague memory of myself doing a similar activity - tieing a bandanna around my eyes as a blindfold. I can't remember the significants just that for some odd reason I WANTED to do that and I enjoyed it. Odd... I suppose strange things travel through the genes of a parent to the genes of a child.

Still it disturbs me a little to see her doing this, I have images of hostages in Beiruit flashing in my mind. Yet she still does this. Hmmm... should I worry? Should I start employing terrorist tactics to make her nap (i.e. the blind fold)? I suppose this is some what better than what she was doing earlier, she had a plastic shower cap on her head - you know the kind found at hotels in the bathroom designed to protect one's hair from getting wet in the shower - well she had that pulled over her head, mostly her face. *sigh* Kids.... now I know why there are inane warnings on items like garbage bags and pails.

Male Or Female Blogs...

Check out the Gender Genie- it's good for a laugh. I checked everyone's blog I read regulary. It boasts an 80% accuracy. A was thought to be a male - I think it was the high content of profanity for that particular entry though, and it thought co-worker was a female for all of his posts... hmmm... is he really a she? hehehehe... just teasing.

*note* I just checked the rest of A's post on the front page of her blog - she always registers as a man. Even her rants about being pregnant! HAHAHAHAHA! I guess A just writes like a man. ;o)

Work Crap

My boss is a complete moron. I worked the evenings from Monday until Wednesday. I talked to my boss on Tuesday to see if she would be training at the hospitals on Wednesday and she told me that would not happen until Thursday so please go in on Wednesday. So I did. I get a call this morning from field support saying that no one has been there. Damn it! I left her an e-mail on Wednesday- something she is supposed to be checking! - and let her know of the situation at the hospital. Now it's Friday and the hospital is pissed (rightfully so). I'm not working tonight, I have things I have to do.

Damn... my boss is such a moron. She tries to APPEAR as though she really on top of things but she's not. It's hard to have respect for someone who is so incompetent.

Update: Here it is almost 1 pm and I get another call from my boss' boss. Apparently my boss took the day off to go to a wedding this weekend. She must have forgotten about work. Dumb-ass.

Blast From The Past




Recently I was pilfering through my cookbooks looking for an interesting recipe. I found this little bitty cook book that came with my hubby's mother's crock-pot or should I say CROCK-POT - that's how it's written throughout the book. Some of the recipes are pretty disgusting but still entertaining (to me at least). The best part of the book is these little notes at the bottom of some of the pages. They are so dated! These little notes are aimed at the typical 1960's homemaker and mom.

Here they are (with my comments added):

Make MONDAY a fun day - Lock the door... go off for the day. Go to work relieved, or visit friends. Before you leave, put one of these recipes in your CROCK-POT and when you get home your hot food will be waiting! (yeah right.... If I want hot food when I come home from work I call for pizza or pick up something on the way home!)

TUESDAY's a good news day - This could be the day for cards, the garden, or the laundry. Just put food in the CROCK-POT and off you go withoug a care. Dinner will be ready whenever you return! (OK, if Tuesday is my good news day... I'm not going to waste it doing LAUNDRY - I'm headed for the day spa for a manicure, pedicure and massage while sipping a frozen drink and dreaming about sandy shores and a muscled up young guy taking care of my every whim... I doubt I'd even give dinner a thought.)

Turn WEDNESDAY into "lens day" - Photography? Golf? Tennis? Skiing or skating? Whatever it's a good day for, it's also good for a recipe in this book. Be a sport, let the CROCK-POT do the work while you're away! (Why don't you 'be a sport' and take me out for dinner since I'm so damn busy having fun?)

THURSDAY could be a "hers" day - Maybe you're invited to a party, or club meeting. For two or three cents your CROCK-POT will fix dinner while your gone. It does just as good a job when nobody's watching! (Hmmm... for a few bucks will it clean the kitchen after dinner?)

Is FRIDAY "buy day? - Go shopping. Or stay home and rest without running to and from the kitchen. you needn't watch your CROCK-POT, and it doesn't heat up the kitchen either! (no running to and from the kitchen... yeah right... with 2 little kids? sure...)

Every SATURDAY a "no matter" day - Take yourself off the to the ball game! Or follow any sport, sport! Dinner will cook itself. If you plan to get home at 6, but don't return 'til 8 or 9 - no har, nothing will get burned. (Ok, if I don't get home until 9 or so then I've probably already had dinner, sport.)

SUNDAY - church, or fun day. Visit relatives. Go on a picnic. Put food in the CROCK-POT before you go - plug it in - and forget it! mak Sunday a carefree day. (um... I generally don't worry about dinner on Sundays - that's what hubby is for, he can call for a pizza just as well as I can)

heh, heh... who came up with that crap?

I do love my crock-pot though. I used it quite a bit when I worked full time. I don't use it as much now that I'm home most of the time - I don't mind cooking when I do have time to cook.

Oh almost forgot the best part of this cookbook - the back page where it advertises some other Rival products. Here are some things to add to my wish list.
The Can-O-Matic - can opener/Knife Sharpener, The Grind-O-Matic - Electric grinder and chopper and The Ice-O-Matic - Electric ice crusher. How have I managed without them!!!!

Red Fish, Blue Fish

My littlest one is being funny, she's standing on a stool staring at the fish tank saying "Hi fish" over and over, ever so often she looks at me and babbles something to me (she doesn't speak much English yet and I don't speak that Alien babble she was born with so I can only guess some things she says), I said "Whats wrong? The fish not talking to you?" and she nods her head then she pinches her nose and says 'honk, honk, honk!'

Not Quite As Planned

I had to work tonight. I went into work - I really don't like going into work in the evenings - and I take one babies picture then I go to the next room and... my camera is not working. I can't get it to work either and since it's almost 9 pm there is NO ONE to call to offer suggestions on how to fix it. Luckily we have a spare film camera at the hospital so I could get the next babies pics - and make the sale. Just frustrating - and it took so long I couldn't get to my other hospital. Oh well... life goes on.

Goths, General asshats
Circle I Limbo

Libertarians
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Republicans, Democrats
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Scientologists, Militant Vegans
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

DMV Employees, PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

NAMBLA Members, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Heh... that was funny. Thank L for that ;o)

Hee! You are Jack's "You have to find
yourself a girl, mate ... you're not a eunuch,
are you?" speech. You're quite a bit sex-
crazed, and you assume that everyone else is as
horny as you are. Get it on as soon as
possible so that you can join the rest of us on
Planet Earth ... I'm sure you'll have a good
time doing so.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Heh, heh... I only did that quiz so I could have a picture of ever so hot Johnny Depp on my blog. ;o) mmmm....

Oops! My Ass Is Gone!

If you have VH1 you must check when I Love The 70's and Totally Gay - I have laughed my ass off! Way to damn funny.

Think about this - Hee Haw...

Bad Moon Rising

Have you ever had one of those moments where something just creeped you out? Like you suddenly thought about a friend and had the feeling something 'bad' was going to happen to them? Then you had to call them just to make sure they were ok? You laughed and felt like a fool, but secretly were relieved that they had picked up the phone. I think we all have had one of those moments. How about a precognative moment or dream? Maybe, well I have. Not often - I've had 3 precognative dreams - they happened months before the event and involved people I hadn't met yet and situations I could not imagine myself in, then when they did happen I didn't realize it until I was deep in the moment. Odd thing is that I wrote down each of these dreams in my journal, a think I almost never did. Precognative moments, I've had several of them and have never been wise enough to realize them for what they were until it was too late. My most noteable moment - right before I took my cat Sinnamon into the vet office for her to be dipped (a procedure that was only made safe by them anethisitizing her) I had a flash of me getting a phone call from the vet telling me that she had died. The feeling was quite strong and I almost got back into the car with my cat and went home. I didn't because I dismissed the thought as me being paranoid and I really did need to bomb my apartment for fleas (why she was being dipped). I dropped off the cat and once again while in the exam room talking to the new vet I had the urge to leave with the cat but I didn't. When I picked hubby up from work I told him about it and he assured me that Sinn would be fine. I got the call from the vet just as I had visualized it. I still feel an acute pang of guilt when I think about it. There were other times, lots of other time. Today I dozed off while making Super Girl take a nap. I dreamed an odd dream and at the end of it I was meeting my sister at a restaurant. When we got there we put our stuff at the table then we both went to separate places, me to get a manicure - fake nails at that and her to go to a tarot card reader. When I finished I met her at the tarot card readers place, once there I realized that the manicurist had only done ONE of my hands (eh, no wonder it only cost me $5!) and the reader cheerfully told me she had done D's cards - two cards came up for her, the Negative Moon and the Evil Moon, then she informed me that D (who was smiling and all) wanted me to do the last card and the interpretation for her. I didn't pull the last card but I knew it was going to be a moon card. Then I woke up with a very strong feeling of forboding for my sister.

I had to look up the moon card as soon as I woke. The moon is an unfortunate card to turn up. It fortells bad luck and decite, a dark cloud above a person so to speak. There is no Evil Moon or Negative Moon in the deck. I called my sisters home number... no answer. Then I called her cell... again no answer. I left a message on her phone for her to call me. 20 or so minutes later I called her cell again, this time she answered so I told her my dream. Seems the dark cloud has already developed above her. Her husband's grandmother is in the hospital currently - things are kind of up in the air as to how she will do. Her mother-in-law is very distraught about the situation and her son lost his job almost as quickly as he got it. I still have the feeling that the dream is fortelling something else. The beginning of the year I did a reading for D - a month by month spread - and August was a month that was very negative, oddly enough at the Christmas party of hubby's that I had a reading done (2 actually) August was a very distinct month as having someone die or something like that - a woman. I happen to be somewhat close to D's in-laws so that would be some thing that would affect me also. Anyway... just babbling...

*note* if you don't belive in any of this shit, that's cool, but do me a favor and keep any negative or derogatory comments to yourself and respect my thoughts and beliefs on this matter.

Warning! Catty Moment Ahead!

I just read these headlines Roseanne Show Canceled Due to Illness and my first thought was 'What? is the show making viewers sick?' heh... somebody smack me. (Rosanne is having surgery next week, that's the real story, not my bastardization - mine is more fun though)

It’s Time To Play ‘What’s That Smell!’

This past weekend was one of our game weekends. The little people love the game weekends. It means lots of people to play with, copious amounts of junk food and a guaranteed late bedtime. This was a bit different, in fact even better because it included a big sugary birthday cake (mine) for all to share.

Cabbage Patch was put to bed right on time (she’s only 2 and has no concept of time so putting her to bed right on time and pretending it’s late always works for her). Super Girl was escorted up to bed about half an hour later. As usual she got out of bed (woke up her sister also) and started to pilfer through things she was not supposed to be in. Every time I heard a noise that sounded distinctly not cat like but more like children-having-funish I would leave the game and head up the stairs to threaten children and put them back into their beds.

At one point it was relatively quite but I started to smell an odd yet familiar smell. At first I thought it was a figment of my whacked out imagination. Up the stairs I went to investigate. Yes the little people were up, yes the smell was coming from upstairs and yes I was getting pissed now. The little people had locked themselves in the bathroom and I could hear them trying to be quiet – which anyone knows that when you are little and you ‘try to be quiet’ you are always making plenty of noise to attract the attention of any mom type person in the vicinity. I unlocked the door and this is what I saw, my 2 year old standing on the commode while my 4 and a half year old spreads a thick coating of Vics Vapor Rub all over her! Immediately I sent Super Girl off to her bed – I figured the time it would take to clean up Cabbage Patch would cool off my temper enough to not spank the living daylights out of Super Girl. I got soap and wash cloth and started washing down Cabbage Patch – I was actually quite nervous that she would get some of that crap in her eyes. The whole time I’m thinking “I didn’t even know we HAD any Vics Vapor Rub. The last I remember us buying any of that was 4 years ago when Super Girl was a baby and had a bad cold. Is this the same jar? Does that stuff go bad? Is my baby going to suffer something horrible from not only having been covered in vapor rub but also having been covered by expired vapor rub?? Am I just being paranoid? Is it possible for my kids to get brain damage from being exposed to so much vapor from the rub? Would I even notice that? Doesn’t this stuff sting after a while of being on your skin? Why isn’t she complaining? Why did she let her sister do that to her? Where the hell is the jar this vapor rub came from? Hey! Are they eating my cookies down stairs? Stay Away From My cookie!” Or something like that…

So I change Cabbage Patch into clean jammies and take her to her room only to have my senses assaulted by the even more pungent aroma of vapor rub in their room. Apparently the incident started in their room, in the crib. The jar was IN the crib, the sheet was covered in vapor rub, the pillows were covered in vapor rub, the quilt was covered in vapor rub… and I was getting pissed again. I muttered some thing to my children about not moving off Super Girl’s bed until I tell them to or they would be grounded until they were eligible for retirement and headed to the linen closet for fresh sheets and such.

So half an hour after I go upstairs to investigate the smell I finally come down stairs with an arm load of offending bed linens and pajamas. By this time everyone downstairs had figured out the smell and were making funny (at least to them) comments about how their sinus were so darn clear now. Ha-ha.

That was my fun for the weekend…..

New Arrival!

My dear friend A had her newest baby today! I'm excited for her. (I knew that if they pushed that shower back it week she have that baby early!!) Congrats A and baby C!!! I guess I had better get that dress finished. ;o)