Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Eve Of A Birthday

Cabbage Patch turns 7 tomorrow. Her birthday makes me a wee bit sad. My youngest is not a baby anymore. Yes I know, that's so cliche and 'MOM'. Still, there is a bit of remorse that my baby is really a sassy little kid now.

I'm introspective tonight. The kids are gone and the casa is empty save me and the pets (who aren't very good conversationalist and cheat at cards). I'm not much for television so it's just me and my thoughts. Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, so much change ahead. All of it good, most of it scary.

Soon I'll be ending my marriage, that's really been over for the past 7 years and really should have been ended 4 years prior to that (what can I say, I don't give up easily).

7 years separated. 7 years in limbo. 4 years in marriage counseling. 4 years of acting like I was happy for the world to see. 4 years of trying to fix something that was irreparable and blaming myself. A lot of self examination and wonder why I can't seem to make these things work, really what is wrong with me... no not the K thing, he's gay, that's no one's fault.

And not it's time to move forward. Alone. Which is frightening and comforting at the same time. I've been alone for a long time just now it'll all be my responsibility. I look forward to that part and again, I'm terrified that I'll fuck up royally. I can't fuck up, too much is riding on it, too many people depending on me.

It's days like these that I do wish I enjoyed just watching mindless television shows just to numb my brain and make it stop thinking. So many whirling thoughts, so much to consider, so many calculations... Damn K for changing his plans at the last minute. The Tiny Terrorists were supposed to be with me tonight but he decided to take them with him... so... nothing to distract me from myself. Alone sucks sometimes.

Ah well, it'll all work out.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Just Cake

So much to write about, not even sure where to start. No matter, you just come here for cake anyway. Enjoy.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Silly Children

Supergirl is so enamored with her new glasses it's just ridiculous. So if you see her... mention them.

Asking the kids if they remembered the Alamo when they visited it last year with Aunt D and getting blank stares. Then asking if they remembered the hot dog vendor and getting strong affirmatives. Saying "The hot dog vendor was across from the Alamo." and hearing "Oh, that place. Yeah it was fine."

Having told Cabbage Patch the package we received in the mail last week was probably a birthday present and having it turn out to be the cremated remains of Dusty the cat. Making up for that by letting her open the pressie from Uncle Mike today. Yes she was more excited by a book about mermaids (that she can finally read on her own!)than the dead cat.

Having the offspring tell the woman at the leasing office that our cat died and we had her burned.

Never a dull moment.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

To See Or Not To See

Today Supergirl and I had our eye appointments. Nothing surprising there, I'm still VERY nearsighted. Supergirl is slightly nearsighted with a slight astigmatism so she's getting glasses. And she couldn't be more THRILLED. We pick them up today after noon. The Dr. said she doesn't have to wear them except for watching TV and reading but she is determined to wear them all the time. Silly kid. I'm glad there won't be any trouble with getting here to wear them.

Watched Batman:Gotham Knight last night and it was very cool. Next week Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I can not wait. This is turning out to be a geektacular summer!

Okay, off to bed, it's been such a great night.

My cousin Shannon's birthday cake.
She's always wanted a Care Bear cake.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Flags From The Fourth

I said FLAGS, not... well I DID spend the fourth with the happy people, no photos though.