Saturday, March 19, 2005

Something To Ponder

Better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Andre Gide
Weird News

This guy is taking the phrase 'dog lover' a little to far. My comment... ewwwww...

Mover Virgin Mary Samich, Satan Turtle is here! I just wish there were photos of the turtle (I want him.) Wait... found one... don't see it though.

Things that should have happened today:
Me being able to sleep in until at least 7:30 am
Have a nice leisurely breakfast
Had the Little People help clean
Enjoy a nice walk around the lake before heading back to my nicely cleaned home
Get ready for my friends to come over and play games

What really happened:
I was rudely awakend by Chaos of Chaos & Destruction at the ungodly hour of 6:30 am. Now mind you that I normally get up at 6:30 am, every freaking day. That's when my alarm is set to go off. Since I have no babysitter and K is at some gay fetish convention I am unable to go to work. I fully intended to sleep well past when my alarm usually wakes me. The Little People usually get up somewhere between 7 and 8 am on the weekends, so I see them briefly before I head off to work. Today, no such luck. I told Chaos to get into bed with me that it was WAY to early to be up and I WASN'T making waffles at this godforsaken time, now go back to sleep. She did get into bed with me and every time I drifted off to sleep she started fidgeting so I'd wake and tell her to stop it. Not that it mattered by 7 am Destruction had burst through my door announcing that she 'had a bad dream' (she does this all the time, it means nothing unless it's in the middle of the night when she's standing outside my door sobbing). With a great sigh I hauled myself out of bed and told the Tiny Terrorist to go into the living room. In the short span it took me to relieve my full bladder the Tiny Terrorist have gotten the syrup and have opened it - luckily there has been no mess made yet. This amuses me not at all and I yell at the evil offspring of mine to GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN! A flury of excuses and blame is flung in my direction as I glare menacingly at the Tiny Terrorists and repeat my demands again through clenched teeth. I put the syrup away and sit at the computer to read the news and cool the fuck off (see just last night the Tiny Terrorist got into trouble for getting into the kitchen to sneak the eclaires instead of waiting for me to serve them for desert). Hostage negotiations started at that point, with much whineing and crying (hey, can you blame me? I hadn't even had coffee yet!). A time out was issued and a threat of not having waffles but instead cold cereal was issued. I eventually came to the conclusion that I wanted my BIG breakfast of waffles, eggs and sausage so we would have it. Somehow we made it through breafast preparation with very little disruption.

Now is the time to try to cajole them into cleaning... And let me tell you it's working so fucking well (sarcasm), I totally enjoy telling them to pick up the same thing 15 to 20 times before it actually moves from it's spot. I have NEVER WANTED TO GO TO WORK AS MUCH AS I DO TODAY!!! Why, oh why did I not put valium in their waffles?????

Just an odd thing that occured to me... people often tell me that I speak too softly and I'm often asked to repeat myself. Except when I'm speaking to my children, my darling progeny don't respond to anything other than LOUD... well honestly THEY are so loud it's the ONLY way they hear me.

(now all you perfect parents of perfect children *eyes rolling up in head* who never yell at your kids, don't leave me comments on what I should do and how I should NOT yell at my kids, fuck you, my kids are probably much better behaved than your demonic offspring, at least I admit my kids aren't perfect.)

Just go look. It's funny.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Exciting Times!

Have I ever mentioned how very much I enjoy cleaning toilets and scrubbing bath tubs? I haven't? Well that's because I'd be lieing! Sheesh! I don't know anyone who LOVES doing it but we all HAVE to do it. This is something I NEED for K to understand. The BATHROOM HAS TO BE CLEANED REGULARLY!

Tonight I spent 20 minutes cleaning HIS bathroom. I cleaned the toilet (ick! ick! ick!) I cleaned the sink (got all the crusty toothpaste stuff off). And I scrubbed his filthy bath tub! Dear gawd! I did! it was awful. One would think that with him being GAY that he would be much much cleaner, but he's not. This alone may have been what convinced me that he HAD to be straight! A bathroom that scary could have only belonged to a straight single man! (well the fact that he surely wasn't a snappy dresser and wasn't all that with the witty comments did plenty to convince me of his heterosexuality well before I witnessed the abomination that was his bathroom.)

I often threaten to report to the Board Of Homosexual/Lesbian/Bi Conduct that he acts too straight in some areas, I figure they would yank his GAY card and he'd be either sent to a re-education camp run by the Fab 5 and full of track lighting and tendy Pier One furniture where they'd train him in grooming, cleaning, dressing and cooking so that he wouldn't be an embarassment to the community and ruin all the stero-types (hey! I'm only talking about the GOOD ONES! Like gay men dress hot, have clean and nicely decorated homes and are charming, witty conversationalists. I can say these things, I have been married to a GAY man for nearly 11 years ya know!).

I'm wondering if they have some kind of Intervention program.

K, your bathroom is CLEAN! Keep it like that!
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm....

This article on a study that abstinence and teens who pledge to stay virgins until marriage are just as likely to have STDS. Hmmm.. sounds like that abstinence program endorsed by the current adminstration isn't quite working as they had hoped. Maybe if these kids were getting information on safe sex, not just abstinence they could/would make better and more informed decisions? Maybe? I know I'm such a rebel.

(my younger step sister signed such a pledge and ended up pregnant within a few months of that)

Now this is probably the MOST AMAZING NEWS EVER! (sarcasm alert) A study has confirmed that drivers with radar detectors speed more!!! I know, you are as surprised as I am. *eyes rolling up in head* What the fuck? Someone paid for a study to prove that people with electronic devices that detect police radar (ie radar that detects if you are speeding), speed - as in they buy the radar detectors so they CAN speed and not get caught and this is NEWS??? I want to find the person who paid for that study and get them to pay me to do a study to prove that people with cars tend to drive them.
Post St. Patty's Party

I always know it's gonna be a good party when it starts with some guy having my panties on his head! He truly did deserve "Best Of Show".
One Would Have Thought I Would Have Scored Higher

Than a 70% on the Gaydar Test.

My results:
You personally got 14 of the 20 people correct and were better at recognizing girls than guys. Overall, you guessed better than 58% of all test takers.

Damn I thought I had the advantage what with a gay husband and all!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Blatently Stolen From XXX

A Harlot
Enjoy your life as a....24!!!
Well, it IS the worlds oldest profession, after all. See, the questions were based on skills, motivation, and reactions to problems. Apparently, you just lie on your back and do nothing anyway, so why not get paid for it?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 1% on Talents
Link: The Medival Career Guide Test written by alexium on Ok Cupid

What? Don't look so surprised.
Happy St. Pat's Day

I remembered that today was St. Patrick's day and thought "Oh let me make sure to dress Super Girl in green!" then I remembered that K was at the hospital visiting with his dad before surgery and Super Girl was in a MOOD (can we say EARLY PMS???) and wanted to dress HERSELF by golly. So my kid is wearing a pink dress with pink hightops. No green. Not even green socks (which I would not be surprised for her to match up kelly green socks with that outfit or even a green one and a blue one, but she did head off with pretty matching light blue - not green - socks). I'm hopeing that she will figure out the lame excuse I used to give by saying "I have green eyes!" to avoid being pinched. I hated that when I was a wee child. Luckily as an adult most people are far to mature to give out pinches to those not clad in green... except maybe in a bar when it would be more fun to get a pinch than not to. ;o)

Gotta do something for the Little People since it's a LOVELY day here. I think we'll go looking for 4 leaf clovers - that should take up about 3 minutes until they are bored and running in circles yelling like wild animals while the veins in my forehead bulge and threaten to burst. Then we'll come back home and make shamrock cookies (green sugar cookie dough) which will probably look more like funky green blobs than shamrocks but the kids will still eat them and that's all that matters. I may let the kids make shamrock cards for grandpa - that is if I don't continue to get that annoying facial tick every time I think of the Tiny Terrorist wish green paper, glue and scissors. I think even the vaccuum cleaner is developing that tick.

Not sure if I'll do anything this evening, I'd like to but I did go out last night (albeit late and for not very long), it depends on how Bill is doing, if K will watch the Little People (and if they are being EEEEEEVIL) and where my friends want to go.

Happy day to everyone.
Possitive Thoughts Please

K's father is back in the hospital, they had to do angioplasty and put in some stents. He's doing fine now, they did angioplasty on two arteries and put stents in those today and tomorrow they go do the others! Woohoo! The doctors say he will do fine, but I still worry.

Some may remember that Bill had a triple bipass last summer. I'm rather surprised that he's having surgery this soon, but I suppose I should as he's not the best at taking the doctors advice about eating right and getting exercise. *sigh* Take this as a tale of caution to the rest of you with health issues - take care of yourself! I don't want to have to worry about you (and I already do)!
Big Ass Project

Last night I took possesion of finishing of Heidi's court gown. She's finished a bit of it, but there is still lots to do. I wish I could get the picture of the binders of patterns to post. Yes I said BINDERS OF PATTERNS. It's rather involved. And I'm EXCITED about it!

People I've commited to finishing garb, etc. for, have no fear you are before the court gown. I'll be working on the court gown around the other projects.

I'm such a dork, I really am excited about this!
Wisdom In The Oddest Places

Last night after my return from karaokee I did as I usually do, and that is to say I read the comics online. To my utter amazement among the chuckles was a gem of wisdom just for me as it would seem.

'That's how it goes... We lose sight of the big picture and get lost in the eddies of our own lives.'

Now, I guess I have to try to see the BIG PICTURE. It's hard, but I'm trying.

Oh and my toilet stopped making that horrid noise as of this mornings flush - which is good, it sounded as if it might just explode. And as we all know, an exploding toilet makes for a good story eventually but can really really ruin ones day.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Sinking Ship

Fuck, I'm depressed. I suppose I'm supposed to feel like this. But I'm tired of it. I want a better job. I want a car. I want to not hurt about losing Michael. I want the pipes in my bathroom to stop making that horrible noise. I want my house totally clean and all my laundry done. I want to sit and paint. I want all my projects finished. I want to feel appreciated and wanted (and not just for making dinner and cleaning up after people). I want a good book to read. I want someone to think I'm irresistably sexy. I want to laugh and smile so much my face hurts and my stomache is sore. I want a new pair of shoes. I want to sleep until noon. I want to see a good movie and eat a great meal. I want to look at art work and snicker with someone when it's ugly. I want to write my name in wet cement. I want to make something so fabulous that I amaze even myself. I want to go back to faire. I want to be independent but not alone... yet maybe alone. I want to sit and not think so much, too much to make me sad. I others to care about me as much as I care about them. I want things to be good.


It's okay. I'm just heartbroken and feeling lonely. I'm depressed about feeling stagnant in life - I was before I became heartbroken. At the moment I'm not able to see over the hole I've dug for myself. I'll climb out of this, but I'm just indulging in my own self pitty right now. I don't usually do this, but I suppose a few minutes of it won't hurt. I'll be fine, my heart will mend and things will be good for me.

I should go now. Karaokee calls.
So Cute You'll Need Insuline! Posted by Hello
Someone Else To Add To My Burn List!
Damn I Wish Gas Was Cheaper.

Call me and when I inform you that I'm in the shower keep talking! People, the appropriate response to that is "Oh! Hey, I'll call you later." Grrr... now my bathroom floor is wet and I had to rinse in cold water! Ahhhhhh!!!
Smothered With Love

The Little People are so excited Sunshine is home. Cabbage Patch was just squeezing the breath out of the cat in her exuberance to express just how much she missed Sunshine and how very happy she was to have her home. Super Girl raced into my room to see Sunshine when she was told the cat had returned. The squeals and shouts of excitement were really cute.

The cat, well she's a cat so I don't know what she's thinking, but she's staying close to the kids for plenty of pets and snuggles.

Damn you cat for making me worry.

The Return

The prodigal cat has returned. Somewhere between 1:30 am and 2 am. I'm happy she's home.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

by The Eagles

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

I love that song.
Got Something Stuck In My Head

don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

My kitty is still AWOL. I was crying earlier because I miss my cat, but honestly it’s pretty easy to make me cry lately. I don’t like it when I’m like this (which is quite rare). My cat missing isn’t helping.

I’ve been looking up music tonight, I was thinking of a song earlier and could not find it. I think it’s by the Everly Brothers but I’m not sure, I can’t remember the actual name of the song just the words. *sigh* So I’ve been searching other songs, I’m not sure it’s helping my state of mind but it’s keeping me busy. Although I could so be doing at least a hundred different things to keep me busy other than sitting here DLing music and writing in my blog.

Random Shit…

I just read that gas prices are within a penny of being at a record high. Hmmm… and here I sit with a box of matches. Damn. ;o)

Tonight I made a ‘special meal’, I like to call it my ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hamburger Helper!’ meal because that’s what it looks like. The Little People utterly rejected it (as usual). The only difference between this and ACTUAL Hamburger Helper is that I did not serve it on the really expensive red plates.

Is ‘Roxanne’ by The Police really a LOVE song? I mean it’s about a prostitute.

I was totally going to take pictures of myself in my ‘New’ clothes – ya know do a little fashion shoot and make myself feel all happy, but that motivation just didn’t kick in. Damn it, my batteries were all charged and everything.

I think even BOB is tired of me. *sigh*

Why am I so freaking impressed by brown eggs? I inherited a dozen brown eggs from the camping trip and you would have thought that I got a dozen solid gold eggs! I’m such a dork. Now I want to make breakfast… eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy… but I never make that for myself. *sigh* I boiled half a dozen of the eggs to keep in the fridge.

Wonder if my cat is just fucking with me. She left last year for a week and showed up on Easter morning. Wonder if she’d going to do that again, kind of a “Hey look! I’m like Jesus! Convert you heathen Jew!” Just my luck to own a Christian cat. Probably an evangelical Christian cat. I’m just imagining all the times she sat on my pillow purring while I slept that she was praying for my *gag* salvation, every meow was her witnessing to my non-believing self. Well we do live in the bible belt, it’s possible. Ya know if she DOES show up on Easter I’ll get rid of her, fuck sell her on E-bay. If a half eaten samich with some chick in a head scarf on it can sell, then a Christian cat doing a Jesus impersonation should fetch a good price. Then I’ll get myself a nice Jewish cat, chubby, partial to gefelte fish and matzah balls and would be able to make my kids feel guilty.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.



















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with

Screwy Photos

Below are the three photos of me from Excal, I look like a dork in all of them. For some reason currently not all of the photos are showing up. Fuck if I know why.

Pussy Problems

My cat is still missing and it's starting to upset me now. It's been raining this morning, I thougth for sure with it being cold the addition of rain would bring her home.

Gerbil Shower

One of the fire sprinklers that was just replaced is dripping water. It's right by my gerbil cage. Gerbils relocated for now, just waiting for it to be repaired.

The GOOD News

Last night I thought I would try on some clothes in my closet. This is clothes I haven't fit into in a very very long time. Things I wore back when I worked a corporate job. I was delightfully surprised that many things fit better than 7 years ago! What prompted this action? Well the discovery that my faire garb is actually too big! I just made the red corset and it could be a size smaller. My smallest bodice that last year barely fit me is too big also, I should have had it lace locked because my boobies kept slipping down! Anyway, it was fun to try on all my clothes - the Judy Fashion show! Now I guess I need to find an 8-5 corporate job so I have some reason to wear it all!
Such a DORK, but what a nice corset! Posted by Hello
Dork 2 Posted by Hello
Me in my corset

Monday, March 14, 2005

And As A Shout Out To All My Rennie Homies!

Missing In Action

My kitty has taken off. She left me!! Whaaaaaa! Come home Sunshine!
There's Got To Be A Morning After...

My Excal weekend is over. All in all it was good. I had some really, really great times and I had some very, very bad times. Thankfully for me, I have a wonderful group of friends who care about me a lot and were there for the good and the bad. I didn't realize that so many people cared so much about me.

Camping was the shiznit! I LOVED it! I'm going to have to take the little people now. The bugs weren't bad, it was cold, but I was warm enough and the bed was surprisingly comfee.

Pictures did NOT happen, I forgot to charge my camera batteries so I was fucked. I looked so good too! (despite actually needing smaller corset and bodice - yeah for losing weight, boo for needing new garb)

Gotta go now, Elmo is singing or something and it's much like someone scratching a chalkboard in my brain! MUST MAKE IT STOP!

More to tell later.