Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I’m convinced that the best reason to have a second child is to experience the differences that come with a second child. Like how when you have just one you think that little one is so amazing and cute and intelligent and amazing and then when you have the second you realize that you kids are only those things to YOU and that most other people think they are one step away from the missing link. Also, the way that becoming a parent can be a humbling experience (i.e. walking around all day long with spit up down your back), the act of becoming a parent to the second power is a humiliating experience (i.e. walking around in the Wal-Mart in your house shoes and rumpled clothes dragging two screaming kids dressed in their stained and ratty Halloween costumes in the middle of December while you search for a bottle of children’s cough syrup and a few hundred boxes of Kleenex). It’s also an amazing learning experience, mostly learning how frighteningly similar preschoolers and schizophrenics are, and this is a magnified experience when you have a second child. Why? Because the first one is always just ‘going through a phase’ and it’s cute, but the second one, well you aren’t fooling yourself anymore and you just sit there going ‘WFT???’ Let me illustrate this with Cabbage Patch’s actions today. She spent most of the day playing with a basket of nail polish. Yes nail polish. She never opened any of the bottles, she just took them all out of the basket and did things with them. She hid them then retrieved them all (at my firm demand), she set them all up in rows then stacked them, she gave them little voices and personalities and made them interact with one another (which was most disturbing as there was a lot of screaming and falling involved), she made them dance and sing and she did this ALL. DAY. LONG. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or get her some Prozac.

Weird People Make Me Smile

Just a moment ago Kent saw something on my toe and asked me what it was, thinking it was blood and maybe I hurt myself. I said ‘I don’t know.’ Then I added ‘Maybe I killed someone… with my toe.’ And he said ‘Ahhhh.. with Toe Fu.’ I had tears streaming down my face.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Random Thoughts

So we are driving home from the store, Super Girl is asking her dad a million questions on water and finally Super Girl says "So water is good for our brains." and out of the blue Cabbage Patch says "And chicken fingers make you cold!" Crazy child.

You scored 42 Goodness and 56 Evilness!

You are more evil then good. If you see a baby, you would probally kick
it, but then feel bad. If you had a dollar, you would not give it to a
bum, because you just dont care. If you got a high good level, and a
low evil level, well... then your a nice balanced person. Fuckin' A.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 40% on Goodness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 40% on Evilness
Link: The Are You Evil Test written by frozenspy007 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Monday, October 24, 2005

Pepto Pastime

Damn whoever it was that thought chili for dinner was SUCH a good idea! Oh, wait… that was at least half my decision. *sigh* I guess I’m just a masochist. Damn my stomach hurts now. But the chili was divine and sublime and a perfect choice for a nice cool fall night. And the cobbler, blackberry cobbler, my favorite cobbler… the only kind of cobbler I like actually. It was good and now my stomach is burning like there’s a bonfire in there as I continually burp chili and cobbler. Ick. I know, you are thinking that is gross and TMI. Well it’s not really, it’s just gross, telling you that I started my period today, not THAT is TMI. (yes I know most of the male readers just cringed and clicked a link on the side just to escape my page and talk of blood loss and cramps, but whatever.)

Random crap in my head…

I’m wearing the softest undershirt made in the history of man. D talked me into getting it and I’m glad I did, it’s a dream. Soft as a cloud and light. It’s also sleeveless so me wearing it today with my black pants gave me a decidedly redneck-trailer-trash look. Oh yeah, the purple bra straps that continued to peak out from the sides added to the effect quite nicely. It’s soft though.

I should never buy toys for the Tiny Terrorists. I should just by toys for the cats and let the offspring play with them. Ever since D bought my cats a scratching post it’s kept the Tiny Terrorists rapt attention like no toy ever has. It’s scary and funny at the same time. I have this fear that the progeny will eventually drive the cats from the scratching post and my sofas will once again be at the mercy of their claws. *sigh* Also I have not gotten used to hearing the cats scratch and not automatically shooing them away from scratching as prior to the scratching post joining the household that noise usually meant that some piece of furniture was being damaged. Now I make the noise and remember the scratching post as I quickly turn and see a curious cat looking at me quizzically as she scratches the post. Maybe I need to start spraying myself with water to break myself of the habit of shooing them when I hear scratching.

Does anyone ‘buff’ their nails anymore? I have this manicure tool and it has a little thingie on it to buff one’s nails and I’m just curious if anyone still does that.

I hate doing the dishes. Yet after an extensive ‘Mexican Standoff’ with K (I can say that since my mother was half Spanish leaving me partly Hispanic and I have 2 wet-back sisters and one wanna-be wet-back sister – I’ll do a whole thing on my family tree some day to explain all that and just to bore the hell out of everyone) I folded and did a freaking load of dishes. I would say that I cursed him with every cup and plate I stacked in the dishwasher but that would be a lie because I was on the phone with D the whole time and I just didn’t have the opportunity to curse him right then. LATER I cursed him when he brought the cobbler I requested (I called specifically to ask for the cobbler) but failed to bring the vanilla ice cream or cool whip to top it with (I specifically sent a telepathic message to him about this, and I’m shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that he didn’t read my damn mind and get that for me).

I love the monkeys in Madagascar.

I’m off to eat a handful of ant-acids and wait for the hallucinations… or not.
Just Crap

I just had this exchange (I'm not even going to hide the identity of the person who said it):
ME: I have something I need you to fix
Lerxst: what's that
Lerxst: i don't do vibrator repair
Lerxst: LOL

What a smart ass. Though, I bet a vibrator repair man could make some serious money.

moving on...

Saturday night I went to Petey and The Bear's housewarming party and it was fun. The bra came off and was used in inapropriate ways and then it was compaired to two other bra's that were much larger and could have been used as serving containers for chips and dip. Maybe you ladies could use one of your bras to hold Halloween candy next week. I got home way late and had to get up early for work.More happened, more to tell, but what the fuck, no time right now.

Friday night...

Went to the comedy club with some friends. Had free tickets, told K he could invite some people. What was I thinking??? One of his friends (who is on the weird side as well as the gay side) has the creepiest boyfriend and though he initially wasn't supposed to join us, at the last minute he decided that he HAD to come along. DAMN IT! So Freak Boy joins us and freaks out MY friends, but not too bad, we just stood a safe distance from them, so much so that they got seated FAR from us when the time came and then I had to wave them over, but maybe I shouldn't have and just enjoyed out time far from them. Oh well.

Sunday at work...
In a moment of 'WTF' I decided to pair my cute velor jumper and white shirt with a boots and a pair of fishnet stockings. It was cute. Now what is with people? Why is it that the appearance of my fishnets make people decide I was dressed like a hoochie? Bitches, just jealous that I was looking good and they had to wear nasty scrubs. Actually they all thought I looked cute but they did tease me about the fishnets (i couldn't find the opaque ones).


I've chosen my Faire Name. With the help of Mystic I have chosen Fate. I've told some people, just checking to see if people like it and so far most people think for a minute then say "It fits. I like it." So... Fate it is.

Okay, back to work. Go on, you know you don't get paid to read and surf the internet, close all that porn also. Get to work. Oh... wait... I was talking about me going back to work. heh. Go on back to your porn.
Mindless Crap
Stole off someone else's blog.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.Hulk Hogan and Rev. Jerry Falwell. I have no one cool born on my birthday. I even searched online! But that’s okay, it just means that I AM the cool person born on my birthday. :o) (stop rolling your eyes)
2. Where was your first kiss?
hmmmm… that was a long time ago, I honestly can’t remember the ‘first’ kiss, I can remember a LOT of kisses just not ‘THE FIRST’. I must have sucked.
3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?Hell no. I’m a seriously law abiding citizen.
4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?I have a brother, of course I have. But if you mean a NON sibling type person, no. K alleges that I have, but I have no memory of punching him in the stomach in a fit of rage, I remember THINKING that I would like to punch him in the stomach, but as far as actually do it, I did not. BUT if I did, well he deserved it.
5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?Yes, if you count the drunk people in the sparsely populated bar a ‘large number of people’.
6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
If they have a big cock. Oh wait you mean BEFORE they get undressed, their eyes, their smile and if they have a good sense of humor.
7. What really turns you on?
You mean other than a big cock? Goatees. I love that look on a man. And shaved heads, very, very sexy. And leather, someone who looks GOOD in leather. mmm Just thinking about a hot man with a shaved head, goatee and wearing leather... ohhh that makes me want to go abuse BOB now.
8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Venti caramel frappuchino with an extra shot. 2 if I’m feeling lucky.
9. What is your biggest mistake?
Not saying, sorry that would be rude to mention his name in such a public forum. ;o)
10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Fuck I’m clumsy enough without intentionally doing it!
11. Say something totally random about yourself.
My retainer makes my teeth glow under a black light making me quite the FREAK in the clubs.
12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
My stupid older relatives used to say I look like Wynonna Judd, but that’s just because we are both fat chicks with long red hair.
13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
All the damn time. I have to make special efforts to watch a ‘Grown Up’ movie. In fact the last time I went to a movie on a date it was to see a kiddy movie (I liked it though).
14. Did you have braces?
Yes. I was nearly 30 and I had them for 4 years. It sucked toward the end.
15. Are you comfortable with your height?
Of course I am! Sometimes it’s fun to be the short one. Well sometimes… but usually I’d just like to not have to look for extra short pants.
16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Getting flowers for no reason has always made me melt.
17. When do you know it’s love?
You just do.
18. Do you speak any other languages?
Obscene hand gestures.
19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? No, I have never been to a skin cancer salon.
20. What magazines do you read?
Health, sometimes Readers Digest and whatever my sister happens to be finished with.
21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes I have and nothing compairs to standing up through the sun roof and waving at strangers on the street. If only I had been completely drunk it would have been perfect.
22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
23. Do you watch mtv?
Nope, it’s a waste of time and I don’t have cable.
24. What’s something that really annoys you?
Stupid people.
25. What’s something you really like?
Sex and chocolate, sometimes together.
26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Are you kidding?
27. Can you dance?
I think I can.
28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up?
WHAT? Me stay up? You must be kidding! I’m in bed by 10 pm every night.
29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes, twice.
30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
I do when it’s someone I know.