Saturday, September 25, 2004

Brief Update

Having a fabulous time with XXX. We did manage to pry ourselves from the bed, get dressed, see a movie and have a delightful dinner. Currently XXX had to go into work for a couple of hours (hopefully), so I figured now would be a perfect time to post.


Shaun Of The Dead

I LOVE THIS MOVIE! I love zombie movies. I've seen a lot of zombie movies and I have to say that THIS is now my favorite movie. I laughed my ass off. I screamed a couple of times. I'm not going to tell about the plot of the movie - it's kind of the typical zombie movie plot, but it's a comedy too. If you like zombies and like dark humor, then you'll love this movie.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Funny Conversation

*Talking about taking a trip to Mexico, THEY say they are going to get some perscription drugs.

ME: What are you going to get?
THEM: I don't know, but Barri is bugging me to get some Valium for her.
ME: What does she want Valium for?
THEM: She likes to fly on it.
ME: Yeah, that'll make you fly.
Forcast For Fun

I'm going to visit XXX this weekend. *sigh* I'm excited. I leave in a couple of hours. It's a spur of the moment decision to head off to XXX.

This is funny - my horroscope for today:

Dear Judy,

Here is your forecast for Friday Sep 24, 2004.

Personal forecast
Going someplace, or seeing someone, out of the ordinary makes this period special. This is a time during the month you are more likely to do something on a whim or without a plan. You enjoy being different and being surprised; it keeps life fresh. If you need a break from the daily grind, it is easier to free yourself from your usual patterns.

*sigh* Looks like a good weekend.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Krabby Patties

Last night I made Spicy Tuna Cakes for dinner. I didn't expect the Little People to eat them. Being my immature offspring they tend to be exceedingly picky in their food choices - I hate to admit it but the picky gene must have come from me as I tend to be exceedingly picky. This would not be an issue if the things she was picky about were to correspond with the food items I refuse to eat, but alas that is not to be, a constant struggle regarding food will continue until her adulthood I predict. At the sight of the cans of tuna Super Girl proclaimed whatever I made would be inedible to her and wrinkled up her little nose. Being the clever mom type person that I am I asked her to help me prepare the Krabby Patties. At the mere mention of Krabby Patties she became more open to the idea that this meal might not taste like ass to her.

After mixing all the ingredients and watching the Krabby Patties cook, Super Girl was more than eager to taste said Krabby Patty. She loved them. So much so that her very ill father almost didn't get dinner from him taking so long to come down the damn stairs and eat dinner. I had set aside three of the patties for him and there was only one left when he finally ventured down the stairs.

Score one for mom. When all else fails try to convince the offspring that dinner is not a disgusting nutricious meal but a delicious meal based on some stupid cartoon.
Poison Ivy
Which would you prefer?

Even though I don't bat for that team I'd prefer the first Poison Ivy and not the second poison ivy that causes a nasty itchy rash. But I've already been in contact with the second poison ivy. I have a lovely itchy rash on my face - both cheeks, a line above my lips and couple of spots on my lips. It doesn't look as bad as it could look, but it itches and stings intermitently.

How did I get poison ivy? Well it's a freaking mystery to me - I'm such a city girl, I don't know jack about 'The Great Outdoors'. I've never been camping and generally avoid walking through heavily wooded areas as that's where the creepy crawly things live - like SPIDERS! I did however take the Little People to the park for a picnic this past weekend. The Little People don't seem to have come in contact with it - which I guess is a good thing, but right now I think I'd rather feel sorry for my kids than have an itchy face. Yeah I know, all thoes Mommy Points I earned on the Tooth Fairy letter have just been lost (and more).

Well I need to go, gotta concentrate on NOT scratching. *sigh*

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Financial Trouble For Twinkies

The makers of Twinkies have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. What does this mean for Twinkies??? Now I have this sad image of Twinkie The Kid panhandling on the street.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Name Your Boobies

Your Boobies' Names Are: Milk Shakes

I like thoes names.

Your Drag Queen Name is: Felicia Fellatio

Hmmm... somehow appropriate

Your Porn Star Name is: Nurse Naughty

Oh yeah!
Birthday Bulb

Today is the 96th 'birthday' of a light bulb that has been buring continiously at the North Fort Worth Historical Society. It just makes me wonder just exactly how much electricity has been wasted by not turning that damn bulb off!

Monday, September 20, 2004

Another Murder Attempt

Tonight K once again tried to kill me, actually he attempted murder suicide. From an errand to procure soy sauce, he brought back the decadent Death By Chocolate cake. The bastard, he knows my weakness for that which is derived from the cocoa bean, he knows that I would willingly join any cult which chose Death By Chocolate as their means of mass suicide/direct route to heaven/nirvana/space ship/etc.

Obviously this murder/suicide attempt did not work, the cake should be renamed Lame and Desperate Suicide/Attention Getting Attempt cake. It was good though, too good. I had a second piece. Bastard. I think 6 of my 7 lbs I lost in the past two weeks have returned just now.
Statement Of The Day

Me: Pull up your pants I can see your crack.
Her: Crack? What's crack?
Me: It's where your butt cheeks come together. Now pull up your pants.
Her: Butt cheeks? *grabbing her butt*
Me: *rolling eyes*
Spank That Monkey!

Oh shit, everyone needs to go Spank The Monkey! You will LOVE it. I was laughing hard smacking that monkey. (not a dirty sight but noisy) I feel better just smacking that monkey up.


Someone help me, I am enjoying spanking that monkey way to much!
I Want THIS!!

I know wanting this makes me a sick fuck but I still want it.
Losing It

Yup I've been losing it. Last week I lost 4.5 lbs. I guess this whole being in a funk is doing good for me. Maybe I'll just stay in it and then I'll loose more weight. But wait... having lost weight is making me.... happy... damn it. I'm kidding, I signed up for eDiets about 2 weeks ago and have lost about 7.5 lbs so far. I'm totally loving this - it's easy and CHEAP ($12 a month).

As far as my mood... it's improved some. I'm fine, don't worry.
I'm Captain Jack Sparrow

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

Arrrrgggh Matey! Yesterday was Talk Like A Pirate Day and I missed it. Damn. I might have made more sales if I'd have called the babies 'scurvy dogs' or little 'bilge rats'.

Arrrr! I'm off to do pirate things (well mom things).

XXX, Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

It's Captain and don't you forget it!
Tooth Smart

I scored some serious Mommy Points with the Tooth Fairy letter. Super Girl burst into my room this morning to let me know that the Tooth Fairy had been there and that she left a tooth brush! I read her the letter and she was sooooooooooo impressed. She said she needs to send Ms. Tooth Fairy a thank you note. :o) I guess I'm doing something right at this Mom thing. Now if only I could convince her that the Sleep In Fairy exists and wrote her letter saying to stay in bed past 8 am on non school mornings (like today). *Yawn*

Sunday, September 19, 2004


I've DONE Starbucks now. I am Starbucks bitch now. Just kidding. I got a Starbucks gift card for my birthday and I've been dyeing to use it. Saturday after The Little People and I went to the movies (movie review to come tomorrow), I decided to take us to Starbucks. Cocoa for the Little People and some sort of lowfat Latte thing for me. I was a little uncertain about what to order. I had no clue what most of the things on the menu really were as there weren't any descriptions. I felt painfully uneducated (in coffee house etiquette) by having to ask what to order. Inadequacy and ordering coffee are a bad combo. I went with what the clerk suggested. The Little People and I shared a piece of iced chocolate pound cake (Satan's Decadent chocolate Addiction). It was good, I wasn't overly impressed with the sugar free hazelnut stuff added to my drink, but I still enjoyed it all. Enjoyed it enough to go back today.

K returned from his trip this evening, after a delightful dinner I insisted we stop by the conveniently located Starbucks for after-dinner coffee and more of Satan's Decadent Chocolate Addiction. Feeling brave and slightly more coffee hip I decided to go for the Caramel Macchiato (Foamed milk marked with espresso, vanilla and real caramel) with extra caramel. I went for a tall as opposed to a 'grande' today. It was quite good. I don't think it was the GREATEST COFFEE ON THE EARTH, but it was good. It's a little high in price for a cup of coffee so I doubt I'll be making Starbucks a frequent stop. Well, not after I use up the rest of my gift card that is. I have about $12 left - that will buy several pieces of Satan's Decadent Chocolate Addiction... mmmmmm... Come for the coffee, get hooked on the pastries.
Lost: One Tooth!

This morning my oldest offspring - Super Girl - lost a tooth. This is her third tooth loss! I helped her compose a letter to the Tooth Fairy. I also composed a letter from said Fairy that I will leave in the envelope with two shiny coins and a new tooth brush for her.

Her letter to the tooth fairy:
September 19, 2004

Ms. Tooth Fairy
101 Fantasy Street

Dearest Ms. Fairy;

I lost a tooth this morning (my third tooth). Thank you for the copious amount of booty I received from you for my last tooth – it more than made up for the lack of visit for the first tooth I lost.

I am requesting a NEW tooth to replace the absent one as I now have a gap where it once was. I would also appreciate some small token in exchange for my valuable tooth. Two shiny coins should suffice – then I’ll be a RICH girl.

Please look for above mentioned tooth in the envelope that contained this message – I shall look there for the two shiny coins tomorrow morning.

I will have mom will leave her coffee pot set up so you can make a tasty cup of coffee to keep you going (don’t use all her Splenda – that will piss her off).

Much warmth,
Super Girl

and the response:

September 19, 2004

Super Girl
Some Street
In, Texas

My dearest sweet Super Girl;

Thank you dearly for your precious tooth. I can tell that you took very good care of your baby tooth. I am more than happy to make sure that you get a nice big tooth to replace your baby tooth. All I ask is that you take very good care of your tooth and brush it every morning and every night – flossing is a good idea as well.

Please accept these two shiny coins in exchange for your precious tooth. Also accept this brand new tooth brush as a reward for taking such good care of your teeth.

Thank you for the tasty cup of coffee (I didn’t use your mother’s Splenda, I prefer real sugar) it surely will keep me going through out the night (or at least until I can get to the Starbucks for a grande).

Wishing you much love and shiny teeth,

Ms. Tooth Fairy

I hope she likes all this effort!