Saturday, August 30, 2003

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, skulking amidst the icy wasteland! It is Judy, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a low grunt, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to bruise you so forcibly, it will be a new form of crime!!!"

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Vorpal blade... tee-hee!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Hark! Who is that, striding on the tundra! It is Judith, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh:

"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!"

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created by beatings : powered by monkeys

I like this one better... buzzsaw hand extensions - who could argue with that!
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Friday, August 29, 2003


So I get up to take hubby to work this morning so I can go visit A and see baby C. Hubby tells me that I need to step on it, because if he's even a minute late on Fridays he will have to go into the big boss's office to get his check and will have to endure a lecture on punctuality (he was 2 minutes late once and had to sit though that). So I hit the gas and get him to work with a couple minutes to spare, on the way home I'm almost to the main hwy and I get pulled over for doing 57 in a 45. I rarely speed - I just wasn't paying attention to my speed. I didn't have my insurance card in the car either - I do have insurance just no card in the car - I thought for sure he would write me a ticket for the no insurance and hoped he would give me a warning for speeding. Nope. I got a WARNING for no insurance and a ticket for speeding. I also got a warning for the registration being out on the car - haven't gotten that from the dealership yet - the cop told me to take care of that before the temporary tags expire or I could get a ticket. I think this guy didn't get his donut this morning and was in a pissy mood, when I asked him if he knew how much the ticket would be he said it depended on my driving record... uh... bullshit, I know it's a set rate for speeding - I called my sister (unofficial queen of getting pulled over in the Dallas area) to confirm that. Sheesh. Looks like I'll be doing drivers ed again. *sigh*

THEN I get home and THIS

was hanging out on my door jam. I didn't notice right off but Super Girl stood in the door way staring up at it and said "That's BIG." I looked up and said "Shit, that's BIG."

And of course I had to grab my camera because I thought "Fuck that's BIG! I better get a pic! No one is ever going to believe this shit." I was just hoping that it wasn't an antisocial spider who hates photographers.

Ahhhh.... but the enjoyment doesn't end there. I made breakfast for the little people - pancakes - then Super Girl decided she needed red jello to go with breakfast. So guess what ended up on my carpet? Yeah, jello. Now unless you have kids and have had a jello incedent before I'm sure you are thinking it couldn't be that bad, jello is mostly solid so you can just pick it up. Not so. Jello is designed to stay sold in a dish or on a spoon but turn to a lethal permanent liquid dye the instant it comes in contact with carpeting or childerens clothing. I had a LOVELY time scrubbing the HUGE jello sploch on my carpet.

I haven't even gotten a shower yet.

ahhh... it's not even 11 am, I'm sure the fun has JUST begun! ;o)


As I was writing this the little people stole upstairs very quietly. When I finished writing (about 5 minutes) I went to check if big ugly 8 legs was still hanging out by the door - Yup. I slammed the door a couple of times hoping to make the big fucker leave, no luck. I briefly consider the usual spider disposal method but rule that out for two reasons - 1) I can only think of two cans of aresol spray anything and I know that one is only half full from the last time I had to dispose of a spider and 2) spiders generally jump or fall when initally sprayed then run off - meaning he'd have a damn good chance of running INTO my house and if that happened, hell I'd just have to abandoned this place and find a new place to live! So I got my blow dryer from my bathroom and blew him off the door jam. I HEARD him hit the ground when he fell. ICK! But he's gone now and I don't have to worry any longer about him dropping from his comfee spot to ambush me (although my deep sense of spider paranoia will force me to check there everytime I open the door). Score 1 for Judy, 0 for Evil Spider.

At least I have ONE victory for today - anyway after all the spider nonsense I look up the stairs and see Cabbage Patch soaking wet! I call for Super Girl - soaking wet also. I called them downstairs through clenched teeth and didn't dare go up to see WHAT they were doing. *sigh* I need a drink.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Seeing Spots

I cleaned my fish tank today. I hadn't cleaned it since before the new fish joined the tank - I mean I HAD cleaned it but not a real thorough cleaning where I take out all the fake plants for a good scrub and vaccuum the gravel and replace about half of the water. I didn't want to stress Aegir and Ran and have them die right away (although that would be the BEST time for them to kick it as I would be able to take them back to the store and get new fish). Well... not entirely true... but it sounds a lot better than saying I was just to fucking lazy to clean the tank. I was staring at the fish after the cleaning... counting fish (it's a habit back from when I'd go through a lot of fish) and I got a good look at Aegir and Ran - well fuck me but they are getting gold spots! Damn! I asked the clerk at PetSmart if they would stay their colors or if they would turn gold, she assured me they would not change colors (yeah, I know, why the hell would I take the world of some 17 year old making minimum wage scooping fish at the PetSmart). Well Ran my all white Ryukin now has a gold spot on her stomach and Aegir my blue Oranda (who did have a touch of gold on him to start with) now has large amount of yellow gold coloring near his dorsal fin and on his head bumps. Grrr....

I know I know... I'm sickly obsessed with my fish...
Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Actually not me... I hate baseball - it's probably the most boreing sport. But hubby and Super Girl seem to enjoy it. Hubby got tickets to the minor league baseball game for tonight and he's going to take Super Girl and his dad. Super Girl LOVES going to the game with her daddy. Cabbage Patch is much like her mommy and can only sit through a small part of it... last time we went, I think I was ready to go right after the singing of the national anthem.

I'm excited that they are going because that means that I after Cabbage Patch goes to bed at 8 pm I'm all alone! Woohooo! Blessed Peace and Quiet! Yay Baseball!
Yoga Ass Kicking

Well I didn't get to my yoga first thing this morning - the little people got up early. Nap time I finally got a chance to break the seal on my new yoga tape. It's a Denise Austin Yoga tape. Has three 30 minute sections to it, cardio, strength training and something else... I'm not really sure, the cardio part was kicking my ass... It's not a bad tape, but it's not exactly like my other yoga tapes - which are just yoga - not power yoga. So I was not prepared for how quick she went from one pose to the next. But hey, I did it. I think I'll do one of my other tapes tonight because I was kind of falling all over myself and don't really think that gave me a complete work out... I think you're supposed to be able to hold the pose without falling over for it to actually count.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

American Gods by Neil Gaimen

I absolutly loved this book. It has an odd start but a good one. I really can't go into the plot because I think I would either describe it so badly you would never want to read it or I'd totally ruin the plot. I was a little - and only a little - bit disapointed by the ending, not that it was a bad ending, just that I had hoped that a couple of things would have turned out just a little different - but only a couple. I do love this book and I've always love Gaimen as a writer back from the Sandman Comics. One thing I liked a lot about the book is that the main subject - the American Gods - was a subject he had covered in bits and pieces through out the Sandman Comics so I felt like I knew several of the characters and the story felt familiar and it was a fairly simple story although at the end you realize that Gaimen has been quietly weaving in other little stories which he wraps up neatly at the end. It ends as it should, with an ending that the reader expects and wants and with some parts that you don't expect and maybe don't really want. the story is one that could make you sit and ponder the universe and your tiny existence in the universe if you wanted... or just enjoy the story. It's a book I would actually read again - and that's saying a lot (I never reread books). So enough already, get the hell up from the computer and head to the library! READ A BOOK! ;o)

I've been tired lately. Really tired. It's nothing new or alarming. It happens every month. I'm going to try to make some changes to how I live to see if I can minimize the exhaustion period of each month. Tomorrow I'm going to get up at 7 am to do some Yoga - hopefully this will happen BEFORE the little people wake so I can do this without their 'help' and 'participation'. Let me explain how yoga goes with my two kids around. I start doing the poses, Super Girl says she wants to do yogurt with me, I tell her it's YOGA and say fine. She does some, Cabbage Patch wanders over and starts mimicing me as well. Super Girl and Cabbage Patch try to occupy the exact same space to do yoga and I end up telling them to stop it. I move to new pose, little people wander away, I think "Ahhhh peace now" and continue my breathing and holding of poses, 30 second later as I move to a sitting position little people return to watch me, I invite them to join hopeing they will join and it will some how have a peaceful calming effect on them, Super Girl sits on the floor Cabbage Patch lunges into my lap. Time to move to new pose, Cabbage Patch has to be moved from lap and protests. Floor poses, the little people find these poses far to irresistable - they must participate... by climbing on my back! It's very hard to maintain peaceful breathing with two kids fighting to be on your back! A few minutes later after shooing the kids away I'm back to the poses, trying hard to unclench my jaw and breath deeply - but that's hard when you have to keep growling threats to the kids to stop doing whatever they are doing. Yoga finally ends, I'm not much in the way of relaxed.

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

EVIL Shopping

Ahhh the other thing I have been shopping for was health insurance, well that and the PERFECT pair of RED shoes... but I digress. Anyway, I had an appointment for two separate insurance agents to come buy and dazzle me with their plans. The first was a man and he had a great plan with many many options and it was pretty damn'd affordable - the pricing was right where I wanted to pay and the coverage was really good. He left his pricing sheet and plan info as well as his card for me. The second person was a woman. In between the two visits I had a separate agent call and tell me he was getting quotes for me and inform me that due to my weight some companies might give me a higher premium. OK, whatever, just bring me the quotes. Anyway, the woman comes in and sits down and tells me that due to my weight I am uninsurable, but that she can offer insurance for my kids. I tell her no, I don't want insurance for my kids from a company that won't insure me, that I can get insurance for my kids from the state of TX for $18 a month for each kid but I'd rather get a plan for me and the kids. Then she continues on telling me that according to the 'industry standards' I am uninsurable and alludes to some other valuable information she has in her papers there. I tell her that is bullshit that due to my weight I am uninsurable. She looks at me like I just shot at her. Then she says something else about a plan that she has - a medical discount plan. And she reaches into her portfolio like she's about to pull a rabbit out of a hat. What she brings out is some thing with a chart of height and weights on it and and how insurable people are. Then she procedes to find my height and slide her finger over to my weight and point out the heading of the column that says 'uninsurable'. I say am getting pissed with this woman, I've already said for her to show me what she has at least 3 times. I'm tired of her showing me crap. I want to see prices and coverage. Then she starts pitching the discount plan. When she pauses I say "So this won't help me if an accident happens." her reply is "yes it will, the discount will be there." and I say "but this isn't insurance." and she concedes "No, you couldn't say you had insurance." I got up and headed to the door saying "I'm not interested. I've already talked to a nice man with nice quotes for insurance." and I opened the door. She gathered up her crap quickly and said "Well I'm sorry for wasting your time." and I just shut the door. I was pissed that she would waste my time like that. She called to confirm the apointment today, she could have told me her company didn't want to insure me due to my weight, i would have been offended but I wouldn't have been pissed that she wasted my time. shit I'm still pissed. I'm going to go finish reading American Gods now and cool off.

Coming Soon! My RANT on the insurance industry!

Yes I went shopping today... ahhhh... it's the only activity I never get tired of. It was an impromptu shopping trip. My sister stopped by after she finished some things. We had a really nice time, except it ended way too soon. The little people were even good!

We went to lunch first - I didn't put a speck of make-up on - D had this beautiful black pant suit on and a colorful silk shirt so we didn't look like we should be out together. At the end of lunch these two butch dikes walked past us, D points to an enormous tatoo on one and compliments it (she didn't really like it she just wanted to point out the tatoo on this chick that was about as big as a bread plate - I know rude, but only I knew she was insencere about the compliment) so I was teasing her that now the dikes were going to think she was hitting on them. hehehe... My kids looked like rag muffins so they matched me. Super Girl had a painted t-shirt on with black flowered jeans - she chose the outfit and would not change to anything that matched... uggh... she has her daddy's fashion sense (*note to all* Fashion sense does not come naturally to all gay men... unfortunatly), Cabbage Patch was wearing some tie dyed shorts and a denim shirt - cute but rag-muffin-ish. Eh, we had fun.

Oh the best part - I bought some adorable black strappy sandles on sale! Woohoo! I'm going to wear them to a wedding next week. Hey... do these shoes make my feet look fat?

Yes D, I did paint my toe nails before I took the pics - I didn't want my feet to look all schlumpy!