Friday, September 16, 2005

D in her ride
D's New Ride
Starbucks Needs To Deliver!

Sometimes I have these 'what was I thinking' moments. Actually I have these a lot. This morning I just had to wonder if someone had replaced my normal vitamins with STUPID PILLS. Last night despite the fact that I NEED SLEEP, I stayed up talking to someone until nearly 2 am. doh! Now I CAN and DO run on a lack of sleep on a pretty regular basis (weekends for sure), but I really NEEDED to get to bed on time at the very least since I had to get up at 5:30 am this morning to take K to the train so I can use the car today. So, um... I need intravenous caffeine.

AND as if THAT wasn't enough, this morning after taking K to the train, I went into the kitchen to make the little people breakfast and I heard something skitter on the floor and thought "Oh! That lizard I saw last night in the kitchen must be back." Now, if I hadn't been sleep deprived I probably would have realized that itty bitty lizards generally don't make noise as they skitter across the floor. I looked in the general direction of the noise, hoping to see the lizard and instead saw a cute little charcoal gray fury rodent dash across the floor and under the fridge. My cute little gray gerbil, Hanta. THEN I remembered that YESTERDAY Bea chewed a hole through one of the tunnels. And all I did to remedy this situation was to stick some Duct Tape over the area. So yeah, one of them decided to do some exploring. She's back in her cage and the escape hole has been blocked with something a bit more substantial than Duct Tape.

And to top all that off... I had left over Mexican for breakfast... And now.. I have left-over-Mexican-food heartburn. Ugh. I also let my offspring dress themselves this morning with NO assistance or guidance from me (hey I was tired) and they apparently channeled into their red-neck white-trash genetics that were passed down from me. Super Girl is wearing an orange shirt (bright, Halloween orange), a denim skirt and pink boots. Cabbage Patch has the prize winning outfit of a sleeveless hot pink flowered shirt under a too short denim jumper dress with pink shorts under (for modesty, ya know)that can be seen poking out under the hem of her dress and blue monkey flip-flops. It's a master piece.

Okay, no I'm off to have some cereal and milk sprinkled with a couple of scoops of coffee grounds and take a few No-Doze.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Random Things

How I dislike vaulted ceilings. Last night as I prepared to do some sewing after the Tiny Terrorists finally fell unconscious I discovered that my dining room light had burned out. Damn it. K was already in bed and I was feeling somewhat kind and considerate after my burst of insensitive cicada sparked laughter, so I didn't wake him. I positioned my chair under the light and climbed up only to realized that even standing on my toes on the chair I was still a good foot out of reach of the light. I grumbled and climbed down so squint at my sewing as I tried to do it by the dim light coming from the kitchen. I figured I'd just as K to change the bulb before he went to work this morning. This morning came and K went to work before I could request his assistance. So what did I do? Something I would tell my offspring not to do and would even give them a time out for. I stacked their step stool on my chair and climbed up. Unlike my children, I know my own mortality and can vividly envision my clumsy self tumbling off this precarious position and ending up maimed and embarrassed as I tried to explain to the paramedic why I was stupid enough to climb up on a stool placed on a chair and why there was a sewing machine wedged up my ass. But I needed light. I discovered two things - on it's a great thing to have a bra as that's where I put all the hardware from the light cover and the next time the damn light burns out and K isn't home, I'm just going to hold up one of the Little People to do it for me. It will probably be easier than me climbing up on precariously balanced furniture and hoping not to fall. Vaulted ceilings suck.

how pathetic is this? Today as I waited for the bus to arrive the sky opened up and POURED on me. One of the dads was kind enough to loan me an umbrella while I wait for the bus. On the short walk back home Super Girl and I got totally drenched and she requested hot tea. Being a benevolent parent and not wanting to my child to some day be standing in a bell tower aiming a high powered riffle at people or worse writing her memoirs with several chapters devoted to the painful details of how deprived and neglected she was because of me and how she spent many years and many thousands of dollars on therapy because of it, I said yes. Upon reaching the pantry I was to discover that I had no individual sized regular tea bags. I had Family sized tea bags and several boxes of individual sized green tea bags. Since green tea generally tastes like ass and I only drink it because it's GOOD for me, I figured that two beings who consider Chef Boyardee to be FINE dining and anything that you can get in a from the drive-thru in a colorful bag with a toy to be a well balanced and delightful meal, would NOT want GREEN Tea. I did what any fine parent wanting to avoid the incredible whining and used the LARGE tea bag. Three times. The same tea bag. Hey it was the family size, we are a family!


The other day at lunch with Badra, the waiter dropped the straw as he handed it to cabbage Patch for her chocolate shake. The waiter then said "Oh, let me get another straw." and walked off to get another one. Mind you the straw was in paper so I'm not sure why he needed to get another one. But that is not the funny part, it was the LOOK Cabbage Patch gave the waiter. She's just 4 but she rolled her eyes and looked away from him! Then she sat there with her head on her hand looking severely irritated. I had to look away, it was too funny! I have no idea where she got that from! She's going to be such a bitch when she's grown up.


I'm so excited! A friend is going to come to TRF with me at least once! I can't wait!


D is now the PROUD owner of a brand new black Mercedes. That thing HAS to get better gas mileage than her Expedition and I'm sure she will appreciate paying less than her car payment to fill the damn thing up!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Stolen from Porn Star

You are a Slutcom 4, and um... wow. They look at you. They blink. You pounce. Your room is characterized by a "Now Serving" counter above your bed and a "Take a Number" box outside your door. Anyone who enters your lair is required to be irradiated before leaving. We're talking two people in a night, multiple hook-ups each weekend... dirrty.

Take the slutcom litmus test!

The slutcom litmus test originated in A Word of Advice.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! As if!! I'm so not at Slutcom 4! Slutcom 3, sure, but not 4!
I'm On The Highway To Hell!

Tonight a very very tired Dame Edana stopped by. As we stood in my door way saying our good-byes, something startled her. At this point I feel it's only fair to tell you that what happend next has damned me to the eternal flames of the deepest depths of hell and all that jazz... well it would if I actually BELIEVED that. ANYWAY... Something startled her and much to my surprise she SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL and did the 'OMG!-THERE'S-A-BUG-ON-ME!' dance. (Anyone who knows me well has seen me do both things, usually in that order.) Now the proper reaction from me would be to make sure the offending BUG was gone/dead/nonexistant and to reassure her of that fact. This is a courtesy that MOST people do for me and I appreciate, BUT I did NOT do that. My response was to cover my gapeing pie hole as I doubled over laughing. Yes, yes I showed a great deal of sensitivity and understanding as I LAUGHED. Then I assured her that it wasn't anything until she saw the big ol' cicada and screamed like a little girl again (this time her screams were joined by the screams of the Little People) which of course caused me to LAUGH more and tell them that it was just a cicada. At this point I was forced to remove the above mentioned offending cicada so all three little girls could calm down and stop doing the 'Scary Bug' dance. hehe...

In other bizarre news... Britney Spears had a baby and it MADE the FREAKING NEWS!!!! Honestly, who gives a fuck about the birth of The Spawn of Britney? ESPECIALLY with so many other NEWS WORTHY things going on in the world!!!

Things that irritate... Remember when your mom/grandmother would say to you to 'Close the door, you're letting flies in!' and you'd silently think something like 'Piss off! I am not!'? Well let me tell you, you were and you owe your mom/grandmother a serious appology! Fuck! Why is it that an adult can walk in and not let flies in but one child takes the garbage out and brings in 6 flies with their families???? Unbelievable!

Anyway.. I'm off to finish some things.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Quiz Day!

Because I've been busy, you get to read my quiz results. Lucky you.

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.

In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

Quite funny as I am the third child.

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not!

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

hehehe... i only think like that when I wear these undies.

You scored as Visual/Spatial. You probably feel at home with the visual arts, maps, charts, and diagrams. You tend to think in images and pictures. You learn best by looking at pictures and slides, watching videos or movies, and visualizing. People like you include sculptors, painters, surgeons and engineers.















The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with

Anyone surprised with these results???

Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's.
Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too!
You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship.
You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.

hehehe.. no comment on that one!
Gay Scouts!

I saw this on another blog and just had to post a link to the GAY MERIT BADGES! My favorite is the Flaming Faggot badge.
Scooby Doo-polooza

Though I completly suck in most parenting areas, I gained status with my offspring yesterday by purchasing (well D did the purchasing) a Scooby Doo DVD. For a mere $5.50 The Little People now own "Over 90 Minutes of Spooktacular Mysteries" with special features, a music video, Interactive Menus, Language Subtitles and Enhanced features for DVD-ROM PC. All together now "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". All the offspring care about now is that it's 4 Scooby Doo episodes! I know, I totally rock, they totally forgive me for making them sleep in dog kennels.
Not Enough Coffee...

I'm up way to early... Wanna know what time my alarm went off? 4:30 am! Yes my alarm went off at the G*d forsaken hour of 4:30 am. Not even G*d herself is up this early (no really, it's still rolling to the answering service at 4:30 am). Ya know, the only time I don't really mind being up at that time is when I'm getting home! But anyway.. I'm not. I'm up this early because I have things I need to finish and not enough time. Damn it.

And so far I've had coffee and breakfast and read the comics online. Oh yeah and painted some shoes. YES shoes. For Super Girl. I painted her soes that she bitched about loudly when I bought them because in her words they weren't 'Fashionable'. Brat. So now they have butterflies and flowers on them and pink laces. That's fashion. And she loves them... except they aren't SPARKLEY, that's what she said. BRAT.

Well I'm off to wake the BADGER.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Badger Baby

I've mentioned before how the smaller half of The Tiny Terrorist is an absoulte BADGER in the mornings. We've been late more than once because of the growling and gnashing of teeth. This morning while she laid on the couch grumbling, cursing and burrowing into the cushions, I put this on the computer. I disovered two things, 1) that the cranky little monster will stop bitching and get off the couch to watch it and 2) that both of the little people will watch that for HOW EVER LONG I leave it on. I left it on for 20 minutes just to see how long they would stand in front of the computer staring at it... unbelievable that two beings who collectively have an attention span measured in seconds would watch the Badger Song for so long. This may be the start of a bizarre and enduring morning ritual.