Saturday, June 11, 2005

Party Part 1

I got to the party at almost 8 last night. Plenty of people already there. I got Jell-o shots right away. Chocolate cherry.. mmmmm Creme brule... mmmmm... I had several, got a drink of something green. I played with the giant light up vibrator.. er.. I mean Lightsaber. I am a Jedi damnit. Didn't watch the movie, sat in the kitchen talking and getting drunk . Went to sleep at after 1 am, too drunk to drive, slept with Captain John and Heidi - on a separate bed, ya perv! Nasty sinus headache hit at 2:30 am. Got up at 6:30 am to head home and go to work. Now I'm working. Not to self... stop flashing the boobs. Photos posted later.

Back to work now, off to Ben's later.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Party! Party! Party!

Today has been a MUCH better day. The whining has been very low today. The toilet has behaved all day and I'm going to a PARTY tonight and tomorrow night! So despite having done laundry a good portion of the day, I'm all happy because I'll be with my friends very soon! So as soon as K get's home I'm going to zip out of the house and maybe I'll see him and the wee ones Sunday sometime.


Lately I've had the ex men contacting me wanting to make a hook up (or booty call). It's quite flattering. First thing this morning, Marine was telling me he wanted to fuck me. That's so damn touching! I talked to Carpenter just 10 minutes later talking all sweet and shit. It's all about me and the worship of ME.


Well I need to go get a shower and gather my clothes. I'm bringing my camera to the party so there WILL be pictures. Since I'll be drinking theres no telling what they'll look like, so please forgive if they are just a bunch of blurry shots of feet.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Do Over!

I call a do over on this day. Not that it's been a BAD day, it just hasn't been a GOOD day. Let me tell you about it.

This morning for some gawdforsaken reason the Little People felt the need to be up just a bit after 7 am. Now mind you, most mornings for the past 2 weeks they have gotten up somewhere between 7:45 am and 8 am. Not today, the day I was hopeing and praying, COUNTING on them sleeping in. Hell it's summer vacation! Why can't they get the concept of SLEEPING IN??? So no, not today, not since I challenged karma directly by staying up until nearly 2 am. They were up and they were ENERGETIC. I got up and did the mom stuff, checked e-mail, read news and looked at the photos from last night. Too damn funny. I opened software to fix red-eye. No, no, I TRIED to open the software to edit my photos and it didn't open. DAMNIT! I tried all the photo editing software I have on here and for some fucked up reason nothing was working or nothing removed red-eye eaisly enough for me. *sigh* I search for an updated version of some of my software then downloaded. And lucky for me it took for freaking EVER to get it downloaded, but on the flip side it was surprisingly easy to use and took like 5 minutes to edit all my photos. Then the Tiny Terrorist refused to go to the park today, opting instead to play noisly and be bratty indoors where it's cool. I had the JOY AND RAPTURE of getting to plunge the fucking EVIL toilet AGAIN. (note to self... prepare voodoo ritual and candles) Later in the afternoon, I went upstairs to check on them playing in their room and nearly had a fucking heart attack as I walked in to Super Girl with the window WIDE OPEN sitting on the window sill with the screen popped out. Good lord! Don't they know the air conditioning is on... oh and they could fall out and DIE! DAAAAMNNNN!!! Down the stairs we go and both offspring stood in corners while I had a shot to calm my nerves (yeah right, like I'm lucky enough to have anything hard around here). Now I've spent most of this day refereeing fights and weggie giving matches (no that's not a joke) and herding crayoned papers back into the proper place (the trash). I've repeated everything I've said at least 5 times and I'm seriously considering serving cold cereal for dinner just so I don't have to fuck with making dinner.

I want a do over! Or a nice stiff drink.
Chammy & Riggor's Farewell Party/Karaoke Night

What a great turn out we had, saddly it was to say goodbye to Chammy & Riggor. *sigh* It was a great deal of fun and it got a little sad knowing that they were leaving. Oy! I'm all farklempt right now just thinking about it. Go on, talk among yourselves, look at the pictures.

The Party Can Begin, Shannon's Boobs Are Here.

Is That FEAR on Jerry's Face?

And he should be, he's right next to the legendary BOOB OF DOOM!!!

Hot Chicks

I don't need to expand on that, they are hot.

The Amazing Hat

And doesn't he look dashing in the hat? Now I want one like that - in black though.

Chammy Brought A Friend!

Paul had no clue he was doing that. Paul, baby I'm sorry, it was far to funny to NOT capture on film though.

That's a WHAT???

You do NOT want to know whose BUTT that's been up!

Arrrrgh! Captain Dork!

At last it was my turn to wear the hat! Well so I'm not so dashing in the hat... but I did get to wear it!

Assault With A Deadly Weapon

Thoes feathers will never be the same!

Okay, That's Just Wrong

And frightening, very, very frightening.


Aren't they cute?

And Finally...

THE END! Well at least Chammy's END.

It was a great get together. Sad to bid our friends farewell. As I hugged Chammy goodbye I mentioned how I would miss him and how it seemed like I was just now getting to know him and he said "And I brought you into this group." and I could have just cried. I'm happy he's found someone he loves as much as Heart. I'm so sad that he's moving away though!!! Heart we just ask that you and he come visit OFTEN. I'd really hate to have to get my posse together to go down there and put some hurt on you girl. I'm kidding, I'd never do that - but a voodoo doll, yeah that's more my style. ;o)

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm tired today and I have a HEADACHE. Someone bring me chocolate and a Grande Starbucks frappichino NOW!!

Oh yeah... my favorite comment made to me by someone "You're too pretty to be single." hehe how could I argue with that?
Photos To Come!

Last night at karaoke was a fucking riot. I have photos to prove it. They will be up shortly, I got to finish removing the evil red eye. Everyone looks like it was posession night at the rose.

So hold your horses, I'll have an update soon.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Yeah I know, a lot of people are saying "Yo Judy, what's the deal? That movie came out like 6 years ago, what's up with seeing it just now?" Well there are a couple of reasons, see back when I was 19 I dated this guy for a year - Psycho Ex (he really was psycho, I'm not being mean. Nice guy, just not all there all the time), every weekend we would go to a movie and dinner (Bennigans). It rarely changed unless he felt the need to defile his pastor father's home by having sex with his heathen girlfriend (me) - then we'd rent a movie. By the end of that year I was sick of sitting through movies, especially if the evening was going to be finished off with mediocre food and moderate sex. But I digress, I just didn't like sitting through movies all that much, so after Psycho Ex, I saw about one movie in the theater a year. K learned to pick and choose his movies well as a fucking awful movie would be bitch about by me for an endless amount of time (Titanic). Another reason I never saw Dogma, well 6 years ago I was busy with a new baby. Let me tell you, that first year was crazy, baby's don't come with instruction manuals ya know, so I was just kind of flying by the seat of my pants (like I still am). Movies just weren't on the agenda. I don't think K and I went out minus the offspring until she was 18 months old. New parents. So... Anyway.. That's why.. Now back to the movie...

So I have seen one other Kevin Smith movie and was left unimpressed. I watched Clerks with a group of friends (who freaking recited the dialog like my children do with Disney movies - good lord) started watching with the anticipation that this was going to be a GREAT movie as everyone there seemed to know it word for word (eyes roll up in head now). There were some genuinely hilarious moments in the movie and a few moments of perfect clarity and insightfulness, but nothing else. They should have kept those 20-30 minutes and burned the rest. I watched to the end just to fulfill my curiosity about the movie, but in the end it was like so many men I've dated, sounded promising in the beginning, but left me wanting more and going home to fulfill my needs myself.

Now had that been the only Kevin Smith thing I had seen, I never would have watched Dogma, but it wasn't. At the New Years Eve party, people watched An Evening With Kevin Smith and oh my fucking gawd, that was funny. I had no insight into any of his movies and I was laughing my ass off. Now fast forward to a few months ago. For some reason I'm online looking for movies and I decide to dl Dogma and a few others of his. Fast forward to Monday night, nothing to do, nothing to watch, I scan the dl's and see Dogma. I knew nothing about the movie at all. I told K it was supposed to be good - I'm not sure if I actually had heard that or if I just wanted to convince him to watch it.

Wow. That really was a great movie. The take on the movie seems to be from a Catholic back ground so not all of the theology (Christianity or Catholicism) is part of my belief system but since I am familiar with it, I understood the message of the movie and laughed at the jokes (maybe more than if I had actually been Catholic). Now I could ruin the whole damn movie right now and tell you what it's about, but that would suck. It's well worth watching, especially if you put aside the part of you that would be offended by religion being made light of and George Carlin as a priest. All the laughing is great and there's message that's worth getting. I felt both amused and enlightened.

Nuf' said. Next movie.


Tonight because the pool was closed for undisclosed reasons we took the Little People to see Madagascar. It was funny, not hilarious, but funny. The offspring were entranced enough to actually sit through the entire movie without even one potty break. Amazing. (I swear I had to see Shrek 2 with grown up so I could see the whole freaking movie uninterrupted.) There were some jokes that were aimed at the adults and I always appreciate when that's done (it's hell sitting through a Barbie movie because NOTHING is aimed at the adults, *gag*). The Planet Of The Apes reference was quite funny to me.

Not a bad movie, I won't feel like jabbing my eyes out with red hot spoons when we have it on DVD and it's played 13 times in the first 48 hours. I think I'll still find a few things to chuckle about.

AND... Another movie...

While I was making dinner the Little People rummaged through the video tapes and found Wizard of Oz. I told them they could watch it if they wanted. It was amusing to hear them get all excited because the beginning of the movie is in black and white. hehehe.. Then they got all excited when it went to color. We continued watching it while we ate dinner (fuck, don't look at me like that, you know most of you do the same damn thing so kiss my ass). I tried to convince the progeny that they had been brought to us by winged monkeys and we had to keep checking them to make sure they didn't sprout wings or tails but they pointedly ignored us and focused on the movie. Damn, I'm raising my children right, a good dose of skepticism is healthy at an early age. No matter I have a new goal for this summer, and that is to eventually convince either Super Girl or Cabbage Patch that they really are winged monkey spawn.

At any rate it was cute to see my offspring enjoy the movie I loved so well as a child.

Now I'm off to bed, can't keep BOB waiting forever ya know... Well actually I can, but that's beside the point. I'm off!
Too Funny

As everyone knows, my offspring adore Captain John. Super Girl is more enamored with Captain John than Cabbage Patch. Just a moment ago as I was chatting with Heidi she sent a link to something, Super Girl who was sitting in my lap said "Why did you go to that page?" and I said "Because Heidi sent it to me." her response was "Heidi... the wife?" I had to stifle a giggle at her elementary school jealously. Heidi don't be surprised if she pulls your hair and takes your crayons when you are over next. ;o)

Monday, June 06, 2005

How To Charm The Crap Out Of Me...

Send me an e-mail saying "Did you realize how much Cabbage Patch's smile looks like yours?" Knowing full well how mental I am about the fact that my progeny look nothing like me. Okay, now that you've buttered me up what do you want from me?
Nature Day

This morning after breakfast I took the Little People on a walk around the lake. Sounds simple right? Well it wasn't. It all SEEMED like it would go smoothly and for the first time since Super Girl has been off for Summer Vacation my plans would come to fruition without a hitch. But that was a short lived hope of mine. I informed the Little People of the PLANS while they ate their eggs. After breakfast I told them to get dressed, Super Girl did as requested and got dressed, Cabbage Patch on the other hand stripped naked, lay down on the sofa, pulled an afghan on her and continued to watch cartoons. I made a few more requests then told Super Girl to go select clothing for her sister and informed Cabbage Patch that whatever sister selected she would HAVE to wear. Then I went to get dressed and put my hair up.

When I returned from the bathroom (which is still shiny and clean and vaguely smells of Clorox) Cabbage Patch had not moved. I again informed her that she had to get dressed only to be met with a chorus of NO's. I could see it was now time for Mommy Action. Gulping down the last of my coffee I turned off the DVD player and jerked the afghan off the whining mass on my sofa. With the skill of an experienced alligator wrestler I maneuvered that bratty 3 year old into her clothing, brushed her hair and put her shoes on her. I then considered that it probably would have been easier to wrestle an alligator as I would not have had to listen to the continuous whining while doing so. As soon as I loosened my grip on her, she darted up the stairs and into her room where I found her sprawled on her bed. I grabbed her by the ankles and pulled only to discover she was holding on to the bed rails. Luckily for me (and not her) I'm stronger than her and had a better grip on her ankles than she had on her bed. Soon she was off the bed and on her feet being led by the hand down the stairs. As soon as we got to the rails on the stairs, she grabbed one and held on whining loudly about how she WASN'T going to go to the park or feed the ducks. Again, my grip beat hers. She again tried the dart up stairs thing once my grip loosened but was beat out by a quick mom with a strong arm and good grip. Both offspring were herded out the door and off to the park we went. As if by some black magic not being cast by me, Cabbage Patch became an adorable sweet child as soon as we set foot on park property. And miraculously that held out until about 6:30 pm tonight. I'm not sure who has that voodoo doll or if it was just karma giving me a little break, but I am thankful.

You Talkin' To Me?

The crazy rodent with a pretty tail, looking at me, planning, plotting... I don't trust squirrels... Crafty little fuckers.

And Your Mother Dresses You Funny

Canadian geese here on a visa.

Run Forest! Run!

I know this photo makes it look like she was running in fear from the geese but really she was... Oh wait... She was doing that. Those geese are aggressive man!

One Pill Makes You Larger...

What? They just looked cool.

Anyway, the trip around the lake and brief jaunt in the play area was much fun for all. We came home, got drinks, the Little People put in a movie and had lunch. The Little People put in Forest Gump and much to my surprise, watch the whole damn movie. Freaks.

Speaking of movies, I watched the best damn movie last night. I'll do a whole post on it tomorrow. I've got a fucking headache right now so I'm feeling kind of crappy.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Sunday Slop

Sometimes the only redeeming quality of some of the people I have to deal with is that I make money off them. Sheesh.

Best comment of to day: "So you gonna do diagnostics on that kolache?" Yeah buddy, you know it, I just finished analizing the first one. mmmm...