Saturday, February 05, 2005

Home On A Saturday Night

What a sad and pathetic thing that is. I'd soooo much rather be else where... like SA with XXX, but fucking work expects me to actually WORK to get paid. Assholes. We were to have a game tonight but my virulent children ran all the gamers off - the venue was changed and everyone punked out after that. My children are no longer bio-hazzards (well no more than usual) but we still have no one over. I had the option to go to The New Mrs. S and her husband's for some frivolity but I think I shall opt instead to sit at home watching Kill Bill Vol. 2 and maybe do some sewing. I went shopping and for some damn reason a trip to SUPER Wally World sucks the time out of the air around me and a trip that started at 7 pm ended at 9:30 pm! Far to late to drive across town then have to leave at 11:30 pm so I can get to bed at midnight as I have that fucking job thing that screws up my weekends. *deep cleansing breaths... reminding myself that I'm working to make my sewing business support me so I can QUIT working the weekends and spend them sleeping in and waking up next to XXX more often.* Also I have a headache. Damn sinus headache. I was also invited to go clubbing with a friend tonight but declined as I think I spent WAY to much at a bar recently and want to save my meager funds for a differnt night of clubbing (I believe the 12th I'll be clubbing since I won't be spending the weekend languishing in bed with the hot and sexy XXX ).

Oh enough of my self absorbed whining about not being with XXX... On to other things.


Do you know that number is for? K knows... it's his number... as in his cholesteral. Last time it was checked he was all proud of himself that he wasn't in the HIGH range because he was holding out at 195. *ahem* Just because 200 is where the HIGH starts does not mean that 195 is GOOD dude. So he's agreed to join me on my eating plan and stop bringing crap into the house (which is good because he brings in crap and I end up with a BIGGER ass - yes, yes I know just because it's IN the house doesn't mean I HAVE to put it IN my mouth). He's going to get his cholesteral checked again in March when he gives blood again and I'm hopeing that if he sticks with eating well and getting a little exercise (walking around the lake in the evenings) he'll be able to drop his cholesteral by 10 points. I told him that he if doesn't, then he can fucking go back to eating Big Mac's and candy bars and I'll leave him alone. In the mean time I'll be getting my money's worth on my E-Diets account.

Cereal Debates

I dread the cereal section at the store. The act of the wee ones selecting a box of cereal can take 10 to 15 minutes. It's agonizing. I'm a mean mother, I don't let the Little People get sugar coated, marshmellow filled, nutrisionally void cereals. I don't care how freaking cheap it might be, I won't buy it. It's cool really, the kids like the GOOD cereals I let them get, but they are at the age now that they MUST select their OWN creal. Today it was a debate over getting a HUGE box of Kix or one getting LIFE and the other getting Corn Flakes or Chex creal. At the point that I was about to smack them both with a box of creal and choose for them they made a compromise and the tortured trip to SUPER Wally World was able to continue.

KFC Chicken Strips Elvis Would Return From The Dead (the mother ship really) For

Dear lord, I think I would sell my dark and tarnished not so immortal soul for KFC Chicken Strips (if it wasn't already being leased out to some lesser demonic cult). Last night in a bid to get the ever so sick Little People to eat, K ventured out to KFC to procure some chicken nuggets, mac n cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy and biscuits. This was a DIRECT request from Super Girl who hadn't eaten much all day.

K returned with the *cue angelic music and back lighting* CHICKEN STRIPS (and other food). I had NEVER tried the *cue music and lighting again* CHICKEN STRIPS before. The Little People didn't eat much more than the mashed potatoes with gravy and a bite of the chicken. THEN I tried them... but let me back up a bit, last week when I had to go to the City of Plano and hand over my money and promise them the rest of my black, black soul (when the cult is done with the lease) to keep my lame ass out of jail, I had lunch with K at McDonald's (mecca to every child living the US), I got the chicken strips there and after a couple of bites wished I had opted for the chicken nuggets as the strips sucked ass. Anyway... In a moment frozen in time, last night I bit into the delectable *cue music and lighting once again* KFC CHICKEN STRIPS and very nearly had either a religous experience or a sexual one, I'm not sure really but damn those strips are good! I already KNEW that I would seriously mame for KFC mashed potatoes and gravy (with a flaky biscuit) and a juicy crispy breast, but now I believe I would consider MURDER for the strips (luckily I don't have to as they seem to be readily available - and at a drive thru even).

Really SAD Compairison

Fuck, I need to get laid. Did you catch that food reference to sex? That's so damn sad. Sex is better than any food (yes even Godiva chocolates even though they come in VERY VERY close to a good orgasm). It's not like I don't have batteries for Bob and Bob Jr. (or that they aren't getting used and abused on a regular basis) - I need a trip to XXX again (or a visit from him - my bed is always open to you sweetie).

Okay, the kids are off to bed, time to watch 'Kill Bill Vol 2' then maybe catch 'Alien Vs Preditor'. I know, lame way to spend a Saturday night.

Friday, February 04, 2005

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

Hmmm... Is that me?
One Year Ago Tomorrow...

Is when I met and fell head over heels in love with XXX. I was tempeted to bore everyone with the story of how we met but I'll spare ya. Instead I'll make your stomach turn by writing a letter to my sweetie.

Dearest XXX;
Thank you so much for being in my life this past year. I treasure every single moment we have shared together. Though we are miles away, you are always close to my heart and near in my thoughts. You're even sexier today than the day I met you. I can't wait to see you again!

Good Friends

Petey is probably one of my best damn friends in the whole freaking world. Thanks for getting me home. Thanks for not hateing me for barfing in your car. Thanks for being so fucking much fun to hang out with!

So I went out to karaoke on Wednesday night with Petey. Since he was the designated driver I was imbibing quite a bit. More than I should have. I won't tell you HOW much just take my word for it that it was A LOT.

Yesterday morning I felt like shit and figured I had a lovely HANG OVER. Mid day I still felt like shit and was running a fever and Cabbage Patch was feverish and listliss so I started to doubt this was all hang over and maybe I was just SICK AGAIN. I spoke to someone who was at karaokee the night before and she told me that she too was ill - she had been sitting across from me. DAMN IT! I Was SICK AGAIN!

Today both kids were running fevers over 101, so Super Girl is home. Luckily I'm feeling much better today.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Hedgehog Day

Happy Hedgehog Day! Well that's what Super Girl insisted it was when she got home from school today. Heh. Damn hedgehog saying 6 more weeks of winter. Kill Sonic!
I Wonder If Lorena Bobbitt Did It?

I just read this story, really quite sad that people get so offended by nude art and would choose to vandalize it destroying someone's hard work and personal expression.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Absurd Things
Thanks XXX for these!

A Klingon Wedding...

Aborted gummy baby.

Action figure kidnapped.


I hate going to a store that supposedly specializes in something and not being able to find the kind of something I'm looking for. Fuckers. Wasting my time.

It's cold here tonight. And rainy. Drove out in the cold rain. It was DARK on the roads around here (no street lights) - prime alien abduction territory. Except that there were lots of cars around so no such luck in being abducted. When we left the fabric store, it was a LOT later than we expected so we are speculating that we were actually abducted and didn't realize it.

Me: Wow! Where did the time go??? Maybe we were abducted by aliens.
K: Oh! Anal probe!
Me: *rolling eyes* Sheesh! Enough with your gay fantasy!

Back home we go and now I need a nap, except it's like 10 pm and I can't take a nap now that would just be bed time, but if I go to bed NOW I'll be up at 4 am!!! I can't do that.

Second night in a row I've had an offspring disturbing my sleep. Ugh. I hate that. Must convince progeny that sleep deprived mommy is much more frightening than the monster under the bed.

Anyway, I can't go to bed now, I have PROJECTS to finish and I'm all motivated to get them done. I'm afraid that if I SLEEP that all the motivation that I have at this very moment will escape my body and I'll once again be possesed by absolute procrastination. Damn, sucks to be a slacker.

And now something funny to watch. Hot and sexy XXX sent that to me. heh.
Crazy Bear

Some people are pissed about this bear being on the market. I think he's adorable! I want a Crazy For You bear. Although... the Elvis Love Me Tender Bear is damn cute also. My only question about the bears is if the Crazy bear comes with a bottle of Prozac and if the Elvis bear comes with... well a bottle of pills too?

Tasteless Yet Funny
(at least to me!)

Volkswagen isn't happy about this hoax ad. heh, wonder why?

Monday, January 31, 2005

Still Smirking

Looking down and seeing the packaging for the 'Classic Butt Plug' and noticing the highlighted phrase 'Fire up the plug!'

hehehe.... Go ahead, laugh, you know it's funny.
Speaking of Spicy And Chinese

Damn it. I just opened my fridge to get a snack and some tasty French vanilla creamer for my coffee and the bar that holds things securely in the bottom shelf on the door let go. Just finished cleaning up hot pepper juice and soy sauce.
Waiting For Sal To Arrive

Sal as in Salmonella. Last night the torential rains detered myself and K from venturing out to secure food for dinner. (well not torential but it WAS raining) Instead we foraged through the kitchen until we found something suitable. A take out menu for out favorite Chinese restaraunt. Perfect, no one has to venture out in the rain and someone else cooks!

Instead of my usual (garlic chicken, extra hot, no onions or broccoli in garlic sauce - very hot) I ventured out and got somthing that promised chicken, beef and shirmp (with some veggies) in a spicy sauce (I asked for it to be a little hotter though). We all stared blankly at some movie as we languished on the couch waiting for the tiny oriental guy who braved the very cold rain and wind to bring us our hot and tasty dinner (conveniently packed in microwavable containers - makes it easy to send K off to work with leftovers).

I served the Little People food for them to turn their noses up at then served myself, all the while anticipating my super tasty meal complete with nummy shrimp - I really wanted the shrimp. I ate a few of the shrimp and kept thinking they tasted 'off' - kind of 'fishy' actually. I avoided the rest of the shrimp with much disapointment and when I finished my plate of food (minus the remaining shrimp) I wondered aloud if the shrimp was more than a little 'off' and whether I'd get a lovely case of salmonella from them. If I did it would be the SECOND time I've gotten it from Chinese food.

Anyway, probably not going to get sick from dinner but I'm still stuck with the lingering disapointment of a meal that I paid for that just sucked. And I still want some SHRIMP! (I'll keep the blog posted if Sal does decide to show up though)
The Art Of Procrastination

I'm a serious procrastinator. I always have been. I generally get my things done in time but for some idiotic reason I wait until the absolute LAST possible moment to do them. Not everything mind you, but many things. In high school and college I would wait to write my entire research papers until the night before, armed only with a handful of source books and a book I was supposed to have read, I always finished and never got below a B+ on content (editing was generally out of the question since I was finishing up at 3 am, my senior research paper sported a lovely 98% for content and 15% for puncuation and spelling). But I digress...

I have finally finished making Cabbage Patch's lovely coat. The temperatures have been steadily in the 40's for nearly a week so I figured it was TIME to make the damn coat. The REALLY sad and pathetic part... it took me less than an hour to make.

I'd love to break this habit as I'm really wanting to make a go of sewing to support my own damn self and not waiting until mere hours before a deadline would be quite advantagous. Any suggestions on breaking it? *Don't suggest I give up my double Roofiecolada for lunch or my 3 hours of mid afternoon passing out/nap time (something about the Roofiecolada ya know), I've worked very hard to cultivate a decent addiction and I think I'm finally getting to be an intersting addict worthy of whispers and speculation.

Now the best part of having finished her truly adorable coat is that she does NOT want to wear it. She has a raggedy ass looking blue hoodie jacket that she LOVES. *sigh*

* I actually gave up my Roofiecolada habit when my **local dealer raised the price unexpecedly.

** heh, kidding, the only roofies I ever had in my possesion were my cats.
A Riddle For Monday

Q: What does one get with two kids and two cats in one bed at 4 AM?

A: Absolutly NO sleep!

Some days it doesn't pay to be a parent... oh wait... I don't get a pay check for this.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Civic Minded White Supremacist

Just read this story about the Nazi Party picking up trash on the road... I'm not even sure what type of comment to make on this... Shocked is about the only thing I can muster. Ahhh what a great country we live in.
Gayest Party Ever

Yesterday I went to the GAYEST party. No really, it was. I swear I was the ONLY straight adult there. It was fun. Cookie decorating party with a bunch of lesbians is eventful, education and a lot of fun.