I Do Not Like Green Eggs And SPAM!
A can of SPAM. In my pantry. I know it sounds wrong considering me being a JEW. It’s one of the remnants abandoned to me by the temporary roommate in her hasty exit. It’s been sitting in my kitchen taunting me for months. Today I offered it to Cabbage Patch for lunch, I said “Do you want SPAM and eggs?” and she quickly said yes. Even though she had no idea WHAT SPAM is (really, who does though?), she said yes. Since she hasn’t claimed to be Jewish and her father is Christian I have no problem feeding this personally offensive meat product to my child (hey, at least she’s EATING something) – and she just informed me that she’s not Jewish or Christian she’s GREEK! Yeah… umm… okay.
As I opened the tin and plopped out the pink block of pork stuff I had images of cute little block shaped piggy creatures frolicking across a field with a big SPAM tin shaped barn in the back ground. This was a much more comforting thought of the origins of the pink block of pork than the actual meat processing plant idea with various questionable parts being ground up and squashed into bricks. Icky. SPAM piggies are cute. Questionable pig parts made into bricks is not cute.
Cabbage Patch never gave it a though she gobbled down all the slices of pig brick and asked for more. *sigh* At least it’s out of my house before Passover. (PS – I had mushrooms with MY eggs)
My child is so insane; we had this exchange this morning:
Me to naked child: You need to get dressed.
Her: Why? Is somebody coming over? (Because, ya know, that’s the only reason you should HAVE to get dressed is if someone is coming to visit.)
Me: No, you just need some clothes on. What if someone comes to the door?
Her: I’d just hide!
Me: Stop jumping on my bed!
Her: But MOM I’m doing my workout!
I Am The Jell-O Master!
In the past two days I’ve made 4 packages of Jell-O (2 red for 6 Jell-O Jiggler eggs, and 1 green and one orange for 6 more). My offspring think I’m the bomb for making Jell-O eggs. I’ve decided that I must now make many more Jell-O recipes to explore my insanity, be creative AND make a tasty snack! Insanity + Creativity + Snack = WINNER! (Or Elvis… not really sure… must recalculate some time)
All this talk of Jell-O reminded me of a time when K and I went to Kansas. I was served a delicious strawberry Jell-O desert right after taking some allergy medicine to ward off my reaction to being in Kansas. Later we went to listen to some old people play old people music at an outdoor concert where I fell asleep and had whacked out dreams of living Jell-O. I’m not sure it’s a coincidence or not, but I believe that’s the SAME trip K and I got engaged on. Hmmmm… Was it the Jell-O or was it just Kansas? (The state not the band).
Okay, enough, I must go console my offspring who is disappointed that her tongue hasn’t turned green from eating green Jell-o eggs.