Saturday, October 16, 2004

Forensic Detective

I get home, walk into my bathroom, I notice blood on the toilet seat, bloody finger prints on the toilet paper, blood streaks in the sink (obviously someone tried to clean that up) and a blood soaked band aid on the counter near the sink. I wonder what the hell has happened, who got hurt, was it a blood sacrifice? I wonder if there is a note explaining the DNA evidence all over my bathroom. No blood in the living room, no note either, no message on the phone and no callers (nobody loves me! Whaaaaa! Kidding, just kidding). I continue to the kitchen, more curious than ever. I wonder if someone stepped on some stray glass from the broken Margarita pitcher (Whaaaa!)? I wonder if there has been a blood ritual and I wasn't invited? I wonder. I call Petey as I know K is with him. K's answer to my inquiry as to the blood soaked bathroom? Oh, I thought I got that all cleaned up. K, take my advice, don't ever take up a life of crime. He explained the blood and who it leaked from. All is well, no one is dead, no blood ritual happened, no one is seriously harmed. Apparently Super Girl was sneaking around to mess with something she isn't supposed to have and ended up cutting her thumb. She's fine. K said she didn't even cry. Off to clean up the crime scene.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Odd Discovery

While walking home from the bus with the little people, we discovered a couple of persimmon trees (or one very large one that's behind another tree - not sure, haven't checked really). The fruit on the tree isn't quite ripe yet so me and the children are watching the progress. I've never had a persimmon so I have no idea if they are even worth picking when they are ripe or if they should just be left for the racoons.

There are several pecan trees along the trail we walk as well. Since this is has been a particularly wet and mild summer the pecan trees have been bursting with nuts. I'm still debating taking the little people on a nut gathering trip - I really don't want to be cracking buckets and buckets full of nuts.

Anyway, it's odd to see things like that so close to me.
Who Would Have Thought?

A while back I read an article (I forget in what publication) that mentioned cinnamon had some substancial health benefits. According to a study done December 2003 participants of the study reduced their blood sugars and triglycerides by 20 - 30% and their bad LDL cholestral by about 20%. (Participants of the study all had type 2 diabetes). These benefits are compariable to statin drugs, but no side effects. Another study found that cinnamon cut blood sugar levels by 20-30%.

This worked with both the powdered form and the supliment form but not the oils as the polyphenols have been removed in processing of the oil. Researchers say half a teaspoon a day (of the powdered) is all that's needed.

Anyway, I thought that was interesting, it's not just good in cookies, it's good for you. Maybe I'll get my father in law and my dad each cases of cinnamon for their birthdays (coming up soon).

Prison Break

My morning usually starts like this: The alarm goes off, I get out of bed (eventually, usually by the third time I get out of bed), I go to the kitchen, turn on the lights and start making breakfast and coffee, then to the computer to check the news, as I walk past the gerbil cage I say hi to Bea. This morning I got to the part where I peer into the cage and say hi to Bea only to be met with a gerbil-less cage. I tap the cage to see if she's just hiding under the shredded stuff. Nope, no gerbil. Suddenly I'm wide awake despite not having had even a sip of my coffee yet. As I have Tiny Preditors (cats) my next thought was 'Holy shit! There's a half eaten gerbil carcas around her somewhere!' I didn't recall stepping on it si I made a quick search of the living room, dining room and kitchen. No crime scene. I dash upstairs to K who was in the shower and poke my head in the door to inform him that Bea is missing. Back down the stairs to search for a missing gerbil. I check the bar where the cage sits, I check the counter below as well. No gerbil. At this point I notice The Best Fucking Mouser In Texas AKA Sunshine sitting patiently stareing at the refrigerator - more precisely at the space between the refrigerator and the wall. I surmise that the gerbil must be behind the refrigerator. Hmmm... That's good and bad. Good that she's still alive, good because Sunshine can't reach her, bad because I can't reach her. I begin smacking one side of the refrigerator with one of the Little People's swim noodles and peeking in the other side - Bea comes out just a bit then will dart back behind the refrigerator. Grrrr... K comes down from his shower and I inlist him in banging on the refrigerator while I prepare to grab the gerbil. We do that for about 5 minutes as the Little People look on in amazement and confusion. K has enough and starts pulling the refrigerator out. I did not do this before for one main reason. We have things on top of the refrigerator. Things like the food processor, the bread maker, a wine holder, a box of fancy oriental soup bowls, the food steamer, etc. I did not want something to fall and break or worse fall and squash a gerbil. Anyway, we have discovered the best way to flush out a fugitive gerbil is to drop an expensive Margarita pitcher from the back of a refrigerator (yes I know, probably not the smartest place to keep the pitcher, but my storage space is limited). Bea shot out from behind the refrigerator and into the middle of the kitchen. Then the chase began. She was terrified. We had trouble getting ahold of her as she ran through the kitchen, into the dining room, over the cat's food (that's just asking for trouble) and back into the kitchen, K finally got her and she's safely back in her cage... with something heavy on the escape hatch.

Well that's my excitement for the morning, probably don't need this cup of coffee now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Someplace Just As Stupid As Texas

I came across this story about a woman getting in hot water for selling a duck sponge that vibrates. Apparently Texas is not the only state with anti-vibrator laws. Sheesh. Well I'm off to bed to test out my contraband items. ;o)

Vague Talk

So the debate is about to start (yes I'm actually watching it - I've watch all of the others as well) and this guy is talking to the audience, telling everyone that it's important they remain quiet while the debate is going on, then he says "...or something really bad will happen to you." What??? Something REALLY BAD will happen? WTF? Like what? A Volkswagon will be dropped on that person? That would be really bad. The offending person will be drug off to the bathroom and given an atomic wedgie AND a swirlie? That would be really bad too. Would they take the noisy person's check book, head out to WalMart and purchase thousands of dollars worth of processed cheese and SPAM paying for all of it with a bad check? That would be bad. Would they drink all the milk out of the noisy persons fridge and put the empty carton back in the fridge? Or worse would they spit in the milk? That would be bad also. Or would the noisy person be ejected from the auditorium? Hmmm... probably not, that really doesn't seem so bad.

Debate is on, more later.
Distracting Ad

I was flipping through a magazine the other day - a parenting magazine at that - and I was caught off guard by this ad. I have no freaking idea what they are advertising, but I'm sold. Every time I try to read the details for the ad my eyes glaze over and drift back to the picture. I've gotta send a thank you note to whoever came up with this ad and to the person who was kind enough to know that mom's need distracting eye candy in the middle of their parenting magazine.
House of Horrors!!!

In keeping with the spirit of Halloween I've decided to have a House Of Horrors for my kids. Right here in my own home. I think I'll take the kids through it today even, I'll have activities for the kids - things that will make them scream and moan and just plain scare the crap out of them.

First I'll take them to the Laundry Room Of Terror! Where they will be face to face with a terrifying mountain of dirty laundry! They can battle with the ferocious Washing Machine Of Peril by throwing handfulls of dirty laundry into it's caverous mouth. Then they will face the Sock Devouring Dryer! Where in they will reach into it's dreadful mouth and remove the heated and imprisoned clothing. We'll end this room with some blood curdling laundry folding and the never ending horrific task of trying to find the matching sock.

The next room will be the Kitchen of Consternation!! The first place to visit is the Refrigerator Of No Return. For our protection we will be armed with disinfectant cleaner and sponges as we open the door to bravely face Bottom Shelf Fungus from The Depths Of HELL! After a few moments of ewwwing and ohhhing at the unidentifiable containers of long forgotten and untouched leftovers, we will have a disconcerting discussion with cheese so old it has grandchildren. From the there we will get upclose and personal with the Hidious Spots On The Floor! Armed with only a mop and bucket and with iminent peril at hand we will free our self from the tar-pit quality of the floor and vanquish the jelly splobs and other sticky spots.

On to the Living Room Living Dead! Here we will be met with Sofa Zombies as we lift the cushions and reveil the Grave Yard Of Half Eaten Snacks and Loose Change (and dice)! The screams! The fear! Luckily we will be armed with a vacuum cleaner so I'm not worried about my offspring being drug off to the land of the undead. When the sofa has been vanquished we will move on to more frightening places.

Up the stairs we will go. Before we can even make it to another room we will have to put down our protective stacks of neatly folded clean laundry and take on The Cat Box Of Dread! That's scary enough, I don't think I'll go into detail on that one.

Now to the second scariest room in the house - a place frightening enough to make anyone's teeth chatter at the mere thought of entering - The Bathroom Of Horror! First we will face the dreaded Toilet Of Termoil! They'll fight off the evil toilet with a toilet brush. Next to face Scary Soap Scum coating the bath tub! Ewwww! With rags and cleanser we will face down our fearsome opponent and make the tub sparkle. Before we leave we will have to handle the Terrifying Toothpaste Encrusted Sink! Aaaaaaahhhh!!! Noooooooo! Again thankfully we will have rags and cleanser to keep us safe and vanquish our evil foe.

The final and most frightening place in this home. You may not want to read any further if you have a nervous conditon or frighten eaisly. We'll go into THE KIDS ROOM! EEEKKK!!!! Those with a strong constitution will now face a room strewn with malevolent toys and evil dolls and dangerous blocks, haphazardly strewn with clothing, both clean and dirty. The dead eyes of stuffed animals will stare at us as though saying "Why? Why? Why have you let this happen to us?". Angry Albino Sock Monkies will glare at us from their beds mockingly saying "Enter if you dare!!" At this point I will shove the Little People forward with their protective armloads of neatly folded laundry and admonish them to PUT THEM AWAY NOW OR ELSE! as I flee in mortal terror.

It's all so damn frightening.
Holding Out On The Little People

Last night I got brave and started cleaning out my closet. Much to my delight and surprise I found a skeleton in my closet. And 3 Halloween kitties and a big plastic pumpkin bucket and a skull goblet with three rubber mice in it. All my Halloween decorations from when I worked as a corporate slave! I also discovered that at the bottom of the bucket was some long ago forgotten Halloween candy! YIKES! I dumped that in the garbage lest my young and impulsive progeny decide to eat a 4 year old candy bar.

This morning when the little people saw the treasures from my closet they accused me of holding out on them with all the fun stuff. I informed them that all of that crap was older than either of them and to hurry up and eat their breakfast. Silly children.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

By Seal

Without your touch I've been lost without the things I love
Without your kiss I've been dreaming of the things I miss
Your eyes, your mouth, your lips, your touch
Your eyes, your mouth, your face, your touch

Who am I (Who am I)
Meant to tell (Meant to tell)
Of what will be (of what will be)
No one knows (Still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Meant to tell (What time itself)
What will be well (will really show)
Let it be

Each day we miss
I remember times I used to kiss
Your mouth, your eyes, your face, your touch

Who am I (Who am I)
Meant to tell (Meant to tell)
Of what will be well (of what will be)
No one knows (Still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Meant to tell (What time itself)
What will be well (will really show)
Let it be

(Still, I need to know
What time itself will really show
Still, I need to know
What time itself will really show)

And I say
Who am I (Who am I)
Meant to tell (Meant to tell)
Of what will be well (of what will be)
No one knows (Still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Meant to tell (What time itself)
What will be well (will really show)
Let it be

Who am I (Who am I)
Meant to tell (Meant to tell)
Of what will be well (of what will be)
No one knows (Still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Meant to tell (What time itself)
What will be well (will really show)
Let it be

Your mouth, your eyes, your face, your touch
Your touch
Your touch
Your touch
Your touch

Beautiful song. Makes me think of XXX.
Sinus Medication + Dice = Bad Combination

The last gaming session happened on a Saturday when I worked very late and did not get home until nearly 6 pm. That means I didn't get a nap. I look forward to my weekend naps almost more than fresh batteries in my BOB. I NEED my weekend naps. I only nap on Saturdays and Sundays, so my nap time is special, magical and sacred even. I was not going to get my nap that day. It was far to late. People would be showing up soon and I can not sleep while people are making noise - I'm a light sleeper. I started making Krabby Patties for the little people while debating taking some sinus medication for the sinus headache that had crept into my brain while driving home. I kept hoping it would just go away on it's own but it wasn't to be. It was getting a little worse.

Petey showed up right on time, which is an unusual event as he and The Bear are notoriously late (The Bear always blames it on Petey, but this is the 2nd or third time he has show up sans The Bear and been on time or close to it so I'm starting to suspect she's the temporal distortion in this situation).

While waiting for everyone to show up, Petey and I had a rousing sword (fake, padded swords) fight in the living room and part way up the stairs - damn everyone with longer reach than I! Then we proceeded to smack the giggling Little People (who were supposed to be eating dinner but were far to distracted by our activities) with the swords.

Everyone showed up for the game, even people I had speculated would not - as in Giggles and the Postman, the New Mrs. S and her husband and most surprising of all, Pat. As usual the game got a late start (I believe that's normal for all D&D games though). I had decided to take a sinus tablet about half an hour before we got started. During K's battle with The Dreaded Cold, he had purchased some non drowsiness 24 hour medication to help him survive the virus. I took that. I didn't want to fall asleep in a couple of hours.

I sat down on the sofa next to Pat so we could chat. We talked about kids and schools and other semi-serious type stuff. Suddenly I felt like I'd had 4 shots of Tequila in 30 minutes. The rest of this account is kind of sketchy as my memory of the game and the occurances around said game are somewhat sketchy in my memory.

I remember stating that I was looped and blaming it on mixing sinus medication and copious amounts of sugar. I actually recall zoning out and getting a mental "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial again...", K said I had the 'Dunkin' Donuts' look (glazed), The Bear and Giggles were amused by this. I don't remember much of the game other than people telling me to roll dice and me saying "Hmmm... what?" when asked things. I pondered aloud if the medication I had taken was even street legal and speculated on making some extra money selling it. I'm still wondering just exactly where K purchased thoes tablets.

The Brain Sucking Shark

I recall mentioning to Pat and The New Mrs. S that the medication was making me high but my headache was still pounding. The New Mrs. S is a nurse and she suggested I get an ice pack. I did - well a ziplock with ice in it. K assisted in filling said bag with ice and I zipped it (took 4 or 5 tries much to K's amusement - fucker). I returned to the living room couch with the ice. Now what? I had to ask where to put the ice, I could not at this point fathom what exactly I would ice to rid myself of a headache. The New Mrs. S patiently (but with a smirk) advised me to ice my head, the frontal lobe, forehead to be exact. It was an epiphany for me. I slapped that ice on my forehead for a moment. I had to take it off, I felt as though I would freeze my very brain to death. With a chuckle I was informed that I should put a cloth around the ice pack. Ahhhh... to someone else that would have been obvious. K provided me with a light baby towel (ya know, the kind that has a little hood stiched on one corner), of which I placed my ice pack in the hood part and placed it on my head. Since I was at a dimished mental state, I placed the towel on my head with the hood part/ice pack hanging down on my forehead. Ahhhh... relief. Sometime later, The Bear informed me that it looked as though I had a shark biting my head. Ahhh a small brain sucking shark.

Pictures Worth A Thousand Snickers

The New Mrs. S's husband decided to take pictures of everyone at the game with his camera phone - so he could match the picture with the phone number. He asked K and I to sit next to each other (as we share the same phone number). I had my photo taken with the brain sucking shark on my head and holding AASM. He damn well better take another picture this coming weekend.

Late in the night I discovered a strange man in my bed**, which was a first for me - really, don't give me that look. The Postman had crashed with his little girl in my bed. I said to Giggles "Hey, there's a strange man in my bed, can I keep him?" I'm not sure she thought it was funny, and it probably wasn't, except to me at that very moment. **

Try as I might, I can't remember much of the actual GAME though. Ah well at least I didn't flash anybody.

Anyway, that's about all I can put together, Petey might have a more accurate account of the events (and the game) at some time though.

*disclaimer* due to sinus medication, the accounts and events of the night might be completly ficticious or extreemely exagerated.

** I discovered him in my bed as I walked through my bedroom to my bathroom, no I did not molest him - Honest!
Halloween Time!

I love Halloween. It's got to be my favorite 'holliday' even though during childhood I rarely ever got to dress up as I wanted to. It didn't matter really. Even if you were dressed up as a ghetto ghost (which we were one year), we still got to go door to door begging for candy. What a great country we live it!

I'm getting ready to make the little people's Halloween costumes. Cute little fairies. Super Girl was saying something about going as a Disney Princess (AGAIN), but Cabbage Patch wants to be a fairy and quite franky that's so much eaiser as I have everything here already to make said fairy costumes. Hopefully when Super Girl sees the tulle and organza and ribbons and pretty little wings she will totallly forget about Disney. As long as we don't have a freak cold snap over Halloween it will all be fine.
Weird Morning

The weather is absolutly fantastic. It actually FEELS like fall here (which is absolutly rare). Currently it's 57 outside. The weather forcast says it shouldn't get over 74 today. Wow. It makes me want to break out the seldom worn sweaters - I know better than that though, the temps will be in the 80's soon. Anyway, I'm enjoying it while I can, got the windows open.


Conversation after she takes a spill down the hill...
Me: You okay?
Her: Yeah. (pause) I just falled on my head.
Me: *snickering*


It's an odd morning when conversing with a bill collector is a pleasant and kind experience.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Bitching And Whining

I was just randomly reading blogs (yes I know, get a life) and I came upon one where in this person was bitching - I mean REALLY BITCHING - about his trip to the grocery store and how the person in line in front of him had the gall to pay by check causing him undue delay. According to this person it took an extraordinary amount of time for this transaction to happen and for that he was severly put out. What a dumbass. IF it did in fact take FOREVER as this person said, then it wouldn't be the check writters fault, but the checkers fault. I was stunned at the absolute angry this person had for the check writer and how very sure he was of debit card technology and how much EAISER and FASTER it would have made his life - as an aside, I've had plenty of trouble with debit cards not working. *sigh* What a petty little man.

I'm sure you are wondering why on earth I would post a photo of my fan, it's because it's FINALLY fixed! It's only taken SEVERAL months (probably 6 or so) and 6 or more requests! But it's done! it took the maintenance man 30 minutes to replace it - (really 6 months and 30 minutes!), but it's done and I'm HAPPY now!
Smacks To The City!

Read this article. The city is being stupid. How insulting to the woman who put so much effort into raising the money.

Tomorrow Super Girl has her school pictures taken. I'm excited about this. Except for the price. We recieved a list of packages and pricing about a week ago. This is jacked up. I'm a photographer, part of my job is to sell photo packages. The packages I peddle are reasonably priced and everything in there is pretty standard. The packages on this sheet are jacked up, nothing is standard. The packages I sell are based on sheets - as in 1 8X10 or 2 5X7's or 4 3.5X5's or 8 wallets - well sell combinations of sheets, like 8 wallets and 2 5X7 or you can purchase just a sheet of photos. The photo people doing the school photos isn't offering things like that. Though they do offer per sheet ordering it's only WITH package purchase. I'm irritated with the package selections as the lower priced options only include 2 wallet sized photos. So I'm going to have to purchase a larger package than I want so I can have as many wallets that I need (14, which is actually more than I need, but it'se either 2 in the small packages, 12 if you order as an added extra or 14 in the other packages). ugh... but I digress....

Why is school costing me so damn much money? The first 9 weeks is not quite over and I've paid for a fund raiser item, book club books (which I didn't mind), identification cards, pizza night, school photos and class snacks. I know that in a week there is another school event/fund raiser and some event thing, both of which cost more money. I don't begrudge my child participating in school events, but damn this is starting to strain my already strained check book. Just how many more fund raisers and money events/items are there going to be this school year? I honestly don't recall my schooling to have involved as many $$$ events/items.
What Does your Personal Dildo look like by Angel_deKay
Your Name
Your Age
Fav Color
Soft or Hard?
BRa size
Shoe size
You use it and saydildos are like teddy bears, ok no there not. YAY
What it looks like
Quiz created with MemeGen!