It’s Quiet… Too Quiet...

So today has been a delightful day at work, I’m actually finished with work and it’s not even 1PM. Hell I was done and headed home by noon today! (which brought way more joy to K than to me as he could now attend some stupid party that he was sulking about not being able to go to as I would normally be working and his delightful brother declined the joyous possibility of watching out offspring so that K could attend aforementioned party. Now it’s a mote point as I’m home and he’s heading to the party right now).

The BEST part of the day was that I decided to wear this most spectacular skirt that I have not worn in probably 7 or so years or more when I got way to fucking fat to wear it. It’s not a size too big but I thought it would work just fine anyway and it’s just so damn pretty, I figured it would be a perfect match for my cow print clogs (my official winter footwear aside from my various pairs of ho boots). Now… since this delightful skirt has been sitting patiently in a drawer for the past 7 + years I had no idea that the elastic in said fabulous skirt was on the way out until I pulled it out to wear it this morning. Since I was (as usual) running late, I didn’t have time to find something else to wear and since the skirt seemed to be resting securely on my ever so wide hips, I figured it would stay there and be safe to wear to work… where I spend all of my time walking from one room to the next, not sitting calmly and quietly in a chair. At my first hospital I kept feeling the lovely skirt inch down just a bit further and I kept hiking it up as I’m certain flashing my cute pirate thong, though amusing, is not exactly the best way to make sales. Still, I was mostly confident that my skirt would stay in the upright and secure position and my pirate thong would remain unseen. As I left the hospital having a conversation on the cell phone with D, I felt the skirt shift downward causing me to grip it tightly as I continued to my car and upon closer inspection, I discovered that I was in a horrible state of denial this morning and that a skirt that is a size to big with failing elastic is not, I repeat NOT a smart choice to wear to work… unless your work involves you dropping your skirt to reveal your undies at a moments notice… as mine involves taking photographs and not photographs of the naughty variety, I must confess that the ever so lovely skirt is a BAD idea.

At my next hospital I procured an enormous paper clip and clipped my skirt in a semi-secure fashion that would allow me to see the few people and far to enthusiastically suggest that they wait until tomorrow for photos (so that I could drag my nearly revealed ass home to take a nap, then make muffins, and dress for a party – of which I am still planning to wear this delightful skirt, but with at the very least a SAFTEY PIN and of course some fabulous boots… although I may feel the need to wear ho boots and that will mean a skirt of a more revealing nature – and not of the kind that this skirt promises, just more leg, not my ass cheeks, although the dress is ‘dressy casual’ and not ‘clubbin’ ho’ so maybe the long skirt and a sweater instead of low cut shirt and short skirt… ahhh decisions…).

And now here I am home, having eaten my lunch of left over turkey (a samich) and fuck, I swear if I have to eat much more turkey I will vomit. (So go ahead and tell me how stupid I was for buying a 13.5 lb turkey).

Last night K and I took the progeny to see Chicken Little (which is quite funny) then to have dinner (the greasiest damn hamburgers in Texas, but damn they tasted like heaven… and weren’t TURKEY), on the walk back home the progeny started telling their father that it was quiet outside… too quiet, that the aliens were out and we needed to watch for them. I found this very funny as I had done this with the Tiny Terrorist earlier in the day when we returned from the park – hey, I do anything to make my toddler stop her whining. K didn’t find the alien talk very funny, especially when Cabbage Patch informed him that the aliens would get him first. Hehehehe… I personally found it quite funny at how easily it was to get them to do something so damn insane. I wonder if I can get them to wear foil hats now.

Whatever, I can dream right?

Big Gay Thanksgiving

What’s more ridiculous that I’m wearing an “Easy Pussy (picture of cat)” shirt when the only men around are GAY or that I just cooked a 13.5 lb turkey for 2 adults and 2 picky children to eat. Can we say LEFTOVERS!!

Today I went to work – Holiday Pay! Woohoo! It wasn’t too bad, I really do love my job and it gives me great joy to AMAZE people by taking good photos. (Yeah I know, some people are easily amused.)

Okay, that’s enough about Thanksgiving, just waiting for my marbled pumpkin cheesecake to be ready to serve.

TRF Final Weekend

So after a week of struggling with being sick and trying to finish up all my projects, I somehow managed to actually do just that – struggle with being sick and finish. So I attended TRF while being gawd-awful sick. Probably not the SMARTEST thing in the world to do, but hey I had three very important reasons to go, 1) Cyn and Koolagh’s hand fasting which I was in and was delivering items for, 2) The Unqueenly of which I was Thorne’s attendant and most importantly 3) Hot Masseuse Guy (aka Frappichino with Extra Whipped Cream)… actually when it came right down to it, it was Hot Masseuse Guy and only Hot Masseuse Guy that I was going for. I’m sure Cyn would have understood that I was hacking up my lungs and could have found someone else to fill in at the last moment (but I was happy that I was able to be there for them), I’m sure Mystic could have found someone else to tend to Thorne, and I would have sent the clothes to dress him in (though I’m THRILLED to have been a part of it!!!), when I told Hot Masseuse Guy that I was in fact virulent and asked him if he still wanted to share sleeping quarters with me and his answer was OF COURSE, well I could have been dragging an IV around and an oxygen tank and I’d have found a way to be there. (So Cyn and Mystic, you should send a thank you to Hot Masseuse Guy for giving me the will and fortitude to make it).

OKAY, so here’s what happened: We (me and my ride) arrived at 4:30 am. Yes, 4 fucking 30 in the morning. Poor, sweet Hot Masseuse Guy had arrived at like 11:30 or 12:30 and he waited for me to show up. Froze his ass off and waited. Of course he HAD to wait because it was FREEZING in the tent and I had ALL the blankets! Yeah, whatever, bad planning on our part, whatever, I made it, we threw all the warm from the car blankets on the bed and snuggled until breakfast time. The next morning, into faire after a mega dose of cold medicine. We walked around, we had fun, we took photos, we left to do SPCF stuff and then Hot Masseuse Guy and I took a REALLY LONG NAP. Yes a NAP. We hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and we NEEDED a NAP. Stop looking at me like that, I always nap naked. LATER, much later it was Cyn and Koolagh’s handfasting, which was truly touching and I’m honored that I was part of it. THEN, it was time to dress Thorne for UnQueenly! It’s amazing what can happen with a shave, a pair of red stockings and black fishnets, a hot red corset, one well padded bra, a Little Orphan Annie wig and some wings. One Fabulous Fire Fairy! Cinder Ella was born and damn I was absolutely envious of those legs. Unfortunetly, the SPCF entrant (Cinder Ella aka Thorne) did not win (we were ROBBED!), but we DID make an impressive first year entry. NEXT year the title will be ours! After that, I sat around the fire for a while then headed for the tent with Hot Masseuse Guy. Sunday morning was totally uneventful. I didn’t go into faire, didn’t seem like much of a point since Hot Masseuse Guy had to leave early and I was not feeling all that fabulous. When everyone else was in faire, we took down the tent and said our fairwells. Then I cleaned up camp and started feeling like crap. We (my ride and I) left at closing and got caught in the traffic of people leaving *sigh* which sucked. I drove until a hour or so before we got to my casa at which point I was falling asleep on the freaking road and had to pull the hell over. My ride took over and thank goodness for that as I was having trouble getting to the end of a sentence without falling asleep! No shit, by the end of the sentence I was dropping off and waking up trying to figure why the hell my mouth was moving (okay, that does happen from time to time, I suddenly wonder why the hell my mouth is moving but I’m usually not falling asleep, just babbling on for no real reason). We made it home at 12:04 am. The End.

Oh yeah, I took a total of 10 photos this past weekend. 10!! And three of them were of Hot Masseuse Guy.

Today, I am finally feeling better, I think that I shall be rid of this viral illness by this weekend – just in time for a party!

Cop Out Time... er.. Quiz Time


Bambi


Which DISNEY character are you most like?
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So does that mean that I should stay out of the woods during deer season?