Saturday, July 12, 2003

FUCK! What A Busy DAY!

I went it to work at 8:30 AM and left at 7 PM - I only worked on hospital. Why? Well it appears that the other people who normally work this hospital quit. No one had been to the hospital since July 8th! FUCK! Why did I work so fucking long? Well I had to take care of everyone going home TODAY and I needed to make sure that EVERYONE going home tomorrow is taken care of - I only have 3 left who are discharging tomorrow (that's a bearable number) instead of the 7 I had this morning. Tomorrow I'm having my 2 year olds birthday party so I need to be home by 2 pm. Much to my surprise more people than expected may come to the party - this is cool, but I honestly didn't expect this many people - so now I'm stressing over having so many people and kids here and I have to work tomorrow. I have so much to do now. *sigh* And I'm beat from today.

Friday, July 11, 2003

Freaky Pink/White Flowers


I had to snap a picture of these very cool and beautiful flowers. They only bloom fully at night and their first bloom is pink, then the next day the petals turn white.

Pictures Of Me...

You may have noticed I added a picture of myself on the side - it's a picture of me with my new hair cut. I just wanted to show how nice it looks, but then I notice I look WAY to serious in the picture - why didn't I smile? I'm a very happy person... bitchy... but happy. Anyway I added another one below of me smiling. I know stupid and vain. I'll take one of the pics off next week so as not to frighten the general viewing public.
For Whom The Bell Tolls... The Bell Tolls For ME!

I had to go into work unexpectedly this evening, someone didn't show up for work. Anyway while I was gone I got a phone call from someone in Beaverton OR (I looked up the number) I have no idea who was calling, I don't recognize the name and husband sucks at taking messages. Instead of asking who is calling he just said 'No she's not here' to which the caller said ok and hung up. He never asked who was calling or asked if they wanted to leave a message or anything. Totally rude. (I think he was to busy securing his date to be bother with who might be calling me, he's out fucking or sucking right now). So now here I am wondering who could possibly have called me from OR - he said it was a woman, the caller ID has a mans name and I have no clue who could have called. I have gotten on to him before about asking WHO is calling BEFORE telling them that I'm not home, I really don't give a crap if it appears that I'm screening calls, I get pissed if I get a call and don't know who it was from. I guess it's just all the years of having worked as a secretary that is coming out at the moment. I always had to ask who was calling before transfering someone, most of the time people wanted to know who was calling before they answered their line. Eh, I guess I'm just being a bitch right now.
The Mystery Is Solved!

It's a sperm whale. I'm kind of disapointed they identified it fairly quickly. I was hoping it would be some unidentifiable blob and many speculations and alien theories would crop up because of it. But noooooooo the damn scientist have to ruin all my fun. *sigh*
This is intersting: Color Profile

(red house) You have a strong personality that likes to take risks if the rewards are worth it. You don't like being told what to do and prefer to take matters into your own hands.

(green shirt) Fashion is marketing vice that only the weak fall victim to. You like to rise above it all, dressing in a way that is your own unique style.

(red rose) You are aggressive in business, but tend to take the backseat when it comes to your personal life. You are more comfortable talking about work than relationships.

(blue car) You are a very practical person. It's more important to you that the things you own are useful, rather than nice to look at.

(silver cell phone) You are very sociable! You are the center of attention and have great stories to tell. But this often prevents from establishing deep relationships.

(purple teddy) You are very strong-willed, even bordering on stubborn. You like to take care of yourself before helping others, although you will never let people down.

I know, I know, these are stupid, but I'm bored so sue me.

Men… I’ll never understand them.

Why is it that some men get all interested in you until you start being interested in them but if you show any interest in a different man they are all over you again? Then there are the men who are only interested in finding out if you’re a good fuck and if you are hey, they might call you when their dick is lonely again. Or the other kind of man who is mainly interested in finding out if you’re a good fuck AND if he can stand to be around you for any length of time because his biological parents are asking him when he’s going to settle down and get married, or better yet the man who is desperate to get married because he feels his biological clock is ticking away and if he doesn’t hook a wife now he’ll be alone for the rest of his life. Now my question is ‘WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL MEN?!!??!’ You know, the ones that aren’t playing head games and who want more than just sex. The only men I know who are like that are either already married or live hundreds of miles away. Sheesh… I should just buy a heavy duty plug in vibrator and large selection of porn and forget about men.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Sea Monkeys

Possibly the MOST disapointing pet to own

Have you ever owned Sea Monkeys? I have. I must have been 11 when I fell for the deceptive advertisement for Sea Monkeys.

I had been looking at the ad for Sea Monkeys for quite a while. You know the one, it was always in the back of the comic book, had the cute Sea Monkey mom and Sea Monkey dad and the Sea Monkey kids. It made claims that they could do amazing things like dance and do tricks. I saved up my allowance one summer. I was going to by Sea Monkeys (or those freaky looking x-ray glasses)! I filled my name and address in the form and sent it off with my payment. My parents had warned me that Sea Monkeys were not all they were cracked up to be. HA! How could they know that? They were old parent people; they didn't know shit about anything. Besides Sea Monkeys could not possibly have been around when THEY were children. So with a stamp and my hard earned allowance, I sent off my form for the pets of my dreams. I took the longest 4-6 weeks of my 11 year old life. I must have checked the mail 3 times a day until I got my package. The packaging was promising with pictures of the happy Sea Monkey family, the instructions were simple - just add water and feed. I procured a large jar for my brand new wonderful SEA MONKEYS with dreams of a future dancing colony of happy Sea Monkeys. I followed the directions, water, Sea Monkeys, stir... and I watched. What the fuck? I don't see crap. I was a patient child though, I read the instructions again... and I waited. In a few days I could see what looked like a bunch of tad poles. I kept watching they grew a bit more. I played music for them... they didn't seem to notice or maybe they didn't like the music I was playing, I'm not really sure about that, but I do know that there was absolutely no dancing from my Sea Monkeys. Hmmm... Why is that? It clearly said on the advertisement that they could learn to dance. Maybe they needed to see actual dancing, so I danced for my Sea Monkeys, I sang for them, I swirled my finger around in the water in hopes that they might just need a little nudging onto the 'dance floor' (I think I just succeeded in making them dizzy). They continued to grow, but not much, I continued to watch, my dreams of Happy Sea Monkey colonies dissolving day by day. I started to wish I had gotten some tad poles, I like frogs and I know that the tad poles would be interest to watch until I had a container full of pet frogs. I started to resent that the Sea Monkeys were not happy or talented and most of all they were not tad poles. I started to hate the Sea Monkeys. I started ignoring the Sea Monkeys except when it was absolutely necessary - to feed them. One day while I was out being a kid I found something amazing - TAD POLES! I raced home for a container to put my NEW pet in. When I got home with my newest treasure I did exactly what every other 11 year old would have done, I put the tad poles into the Sea Monkey jar. I figured they would keep each other company, maybe the extremely cool tad poles would teach the extremely lame Sea Monkeys a thing or two. The next morning I checked on my Sea Monkey/Tad Pole tank. To my utter surprise there were a greatly diminished number of Sea Monkeys in the jar. I watched it wasn't as if there was any place for the Sea Monkeys to be hiding, so what could have happened. While I watch I got my answer as I watched a hungry tad pole gobble up one of the Sea Monkeys. Ooops... I wish someone had told me that Sea Monkeys and tad poles shouldn't share living quarters... or that Sea Monkeys are tasty food for growing tad poles. In utter guilt and embarrassment I took my jar of tad poles stuffed with Sea Monkeys back to where I got the tad poles and released them back into the wild. I had thought about keeping the tad poles but realized that my mother would kick my ass if she found out I had tad poles - something that would eventually become live frogs - in my bedroom. So that's my sad tale of Sea Monkey deception, it took about 4 weeks from the first drop of Sea Monkey eggs in the water to the tragic end with Sea Monkeys becoming tad pole chow. I went back to school a few weeks later, I never told of my Sea Monkey saga. I figured that I had been duped, bamboozled, taken and everyone else already knew about the utter lameness of Sea Monkeys. I never even told my sister what transpired with my Sea Monkeys - she had initially made a snotty comment about the Sea Monkeys when they arrived so why add to my torment by giving her absolute proof that I was totally gullible. But I learned... I learned a lesson about advertising - never ever buy anything off the back of a comic book and I learned about dreams and broken dreams and how you should never ever pin your dreams on a jar of stupid Sea Monkeys! Sheesh - I still slap myself in the head for being such an ignorant kid! How the hell did I ever make it to this age anyway? Sea Monkeys... I'd have been better of with a Chia Pet! (By the way I'd love a Mr. T Chia Pet... hehehe)
Um... Excuse Me, But Could You Get The FUCK Out Of My Personal Space!

Tonight I headed to Wal-Mart to procure pressies for Cabbage Patch for her birthday this Sunday. I'm standing in line putting stuff on the best and I look back at Super Girl in the cart - the lady who is behind me is standing RIGHT NEXT to my kid - that makes me VERY uncomfortable, I pull my cart forward and say "Um, you can move away from my kid now." Then move forward to check out. I'm watching the price of everything being scanned while getting my check ready, I look up and that lady is practically at my elbow! I move a little bit further forward and guess what she does, she moves up also. DAMN! That is so freaking rude! I don't want someone close enough to look in my purse and see the 10 condoms and emergency vibrator (hey you never know when you might need it) in my purse, let alone see if I have cash in my purse (which I never do... got condoms and vibrator, why do I need cash?). I just wish I had been buying a bunch of bizarre things like lube, condoms, whipped cream, massage oil, a cucumber, a douche, adult diapers, laxatives, liquid latex, clothes pins and a water gun, then I would have tried to strike up a conversation and asked her if she ever used this or that... then she might have backed off.

So WTF? I've noticed people in the grocery store doing that also. I hate that, I mean if you’re not planning on helping me pay for my stuff then back the fuck up.
Alien's Did It...

Crap... For some reason my bottom teeth are sore like aliens tightened my braces last night while I slept.

Getting Fucked Over By The Man!

That seems to be a constant theme in my life. I got my check today. I'm not happy with how much I made in commission... or I should say how much I didn't make. About $120 difference because my bitch new supervisor took one of my hospitals away from me for a few weeks, and now I have that hospital back but she's making me share it with someone else. Fuck. I'll have to wait and see how that affects my commission - I've only worked one weekend with her. It will probably be a couple pay checks before I see the true difference, since I worked solo this past weekend and the 4th. But that's fucking killing me. I may have to start pimping out my husband if this keeps up!

Hey sailor, him fucky-sucky $5.

It's A Boobie Thing, You Wouldn't Understand It...

A couple of weeks ago Super Girl was playing dress up. She had on this little bitty baby dress - it looked like a short shirt on her, we were getting ready to go shopping so I told her to put some pants on. She said she's going to wear a dress and I say "Well you'll have to take that little shirt off." to which she replies "It's not a shirt, it's a boobie thing." And puffs up her little 4 year old chest. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. When hubby came down stairs I told Super Girl to repeat what she said, he didn't think it was funny; he was mortified that his little girl would be talking about getting a boobie thing already. He's so paranoid that she's growing up too fast! Of course his response was by far the funniest. Such a daddy.

Super Girl has hit the age where she recognizes that there are differences between grown up girls and little girls like her. And of course the MOST obvious thing is of course boobs. Every so often she will see me in bra and panties and say "I like your boobies." Which always makes me laugh but one time a friend of ours was over; Super Girl was reading her books. Super Girl was in her lap and turned to her, poked her in the boobies and said "I like your boobies." Luckily Jenna has been around lots of small children and it didn't faze her, the next day I had a talk with Super Girl about not touching people's boobies. Its funny what kids notice and what they ask about. I've been asked why I have hair there, why I shave there, why my boobies are big and much much more...
Britney Isn't A Virgin!

Oh the shock. Why is this making news? Does anyone really give a crap? Is ANYONE surprised? She dresses like a cheap whore and at 21 she's NOT a virgin - THIS is NEWS? Uggh... file this with nauseating news, which includes any story about JLo and Ben, Jennifer & Brad or Katherine Zeta Jones. Barf.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Speaking Of Disgusting Things...

I've been kind of keeping up with this Giant Sea Blob story. Freaky... and disgusting. I am not sure I would want to be the person to have 'discovered' this. This is almost as gross as the footage of a whale being blown up (it's for real) back in the 60's or so to clean it off the beach. OK, that was also kind of funny... all the nasty whale pieces raining down on the crowd of onlookers. hahahahaha... See A, your husband's act this morning is not the most disgusting thing to happen in the past few weeks! ;o)
A - Ahhhh... what a lovely picture you painted of your drive in to work.... ewww.... My advice - Zantac - the otc stuff - take some in the evenings. I had to live on that stuff with both of my pregnancies. All your cheery little updates remind me how lucky I am to not be pregnant right now. ;o)
Judy, Judy, You're Such A Cutie, How Does Your Garden Grow?

With Sunflowers:



And some cool white flower - that first blooms pink (at night even) then turns white.



Latest Craft Thingie

I just finished making this

It's and Irish Rose to go on the baby dress I'm making for A's baby.
DEAD SPIDER!!




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I killed him! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Spiders Beware!

Yesterday I killed an enormous spider on my blinds. The little fucker had been living on them for a while - I had seen it a while back but he slipped away before I could grab a handy can of something to spray on it. Yesterday I happened to notice that this fucker was casting a shadow... he had grown. Time for the can of hair spray. Half a can later the bastard spider was totally imobalized, I carefully removed the body to outside - as a warning to other tespassing spiders - DEATH TO SPIDERS RESIDES HERE! The body is still outside, I'll take a pic a little later. hehehehe... Yeah I need help, I know.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

So Fucking Funny!

OMG - I am laughing my ass off! I went to Pornolize and put in my page. It pornolized my site. DAMN! that was a riot. Especially the post right before this - to damn funny - not much was changed in that post, but what was made me laugh my ass off.

Go, check it out, laugh...
I Need A Fix!

I'm talking about sex. I need sex. Nothing more. Seems my sancho (mexican slang for 'other man') is working so much overtime these days he can't find the time to see me. Grrr.... He's called a few times to tell me he misses me, yadda, yadda, yadda... but that's just not the same... Porn is just not doing it and I fear that I will burn out my vibrator soon if he doesn't get some time off soon. I have some other men I could call... former sanchos and wanna-be lovers... I know anyone of them would drop what they are doing and bring that pony on over, but I just don't want to deal with them. Too many issues, one is too kinky, one wants me to be his 'girlfriend', one has a psycho girlfriend and one is just bad in bed... so I guess he's really not an option. Damn... I just want the sex, I'll even bring the condoms! I just want some really nice sex - no strings attached, just put your clothes on and go home after, thanks a lot, I'll call you later. Jake... you planning a trip to Texas any time soon? ;o)

*Sigh* one of the major drawbacks to having a gay husband. grrr....



Monday, July 07, 2003

Oh, That Pie Is Even Harder To Swallow The Second Time!

I must be going for a record... I'm wrong YET again. The original Doritos flavor was the toasted corn, came out in 1966. The tasty Taco Flavor came out in 1972. Damn... Now I'll have to admit to my husband that I was WRONG! shit. At least I didn't BET anything on it - not like the time we bet on gecko... but I won that time.

Must go now, have to finish my humble pie.

mumble, mumble... Strider... Aragorn.... mumble, mumble.... Doritos toasted corn... damn....

Sunday, July 06, 2003

rogue
You are Rogue!

You are sexy and strong willed, and able to take on
just about anyone. You long for a serious
relationship, but whenever you begin to get
close to someone things always seem to take
turns for the worse. But you have dealt with
this lack of closeness with an almost constant
flirtacious behavior.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla


Oh what a surprise, even in geeky comic book world I'm a slut-superhero. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! eh at least Rogue is one of the characters I do like out of the X-Men.

later

And hubby is
beast
You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla


yeah... that makes sense... I'm the slutty one and he's the smart one. hmmm...
Soroity Slut
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hmmm... how come I'm always the slut? Oh yeah, because I'm being honest that's why. hehehehe...
Some Things Just Bug Me

Friday morning when I was getting ready for work, motion caught my eye on the floor by the door. It was a creepy looking insect. It freaked me out, I couldn't just step on it, I had no clue what IT was. So I dropped a towel on it and ran to get a jar to put it in. I captured the icky thing and set the jar atop my dresser intending to ask hubby if he could identify the beast - also take pictures of it and post it to see if anyone one reading this page could identify it also - then I would release it into the wild with a stern warning to not return to my home else face certain death by stomping or worse being sprayed by hair spray. Intensions are all well and good... what actually happened... I was tired when I got home so I took a nap, after nap we all went to brother in law's house for July 4th festivities, bug in jar was completly forgotten until I was getting ready for bed at midnight. Bug in jar was motionless by this point.... dead. IT was quite dead. I still have bug in jar as I plan to take some pictures anyway in hopes of some kind of identification.

Coming SOON! Dead bug in jar photos!