Thursday, November 03, 2005

How To Inspire Me To Make A Voodoo Doll Of You...

Read a chapter of The Doll People to the Little People while upstairs knowing full well that I damn well wanted to hear that!


How To Almost Charm Me Into Not Jabbing Your Voodoo Doll Full Of Pins...

Offer to read me the chapter when I bitch.

Enjoy The Silence…

I truly believe the only people who can really appreciate silence are parents and teachers. I love the Little People more than the air I breathe, but GAWD it’s nice to have some silence FINALLY today. Seriously, I haven’t had a moment of silence all freaking day long. Much to my chagrin both kids woke at the same time this morning, I am some what spoiled by Cabbage Patch usually sleeping in until 8 am or later, so her being awake at 6 am was just disturbing and disappointing. Why? Because she has reached the age of constant noise as in she has to constantly be making noise. If she isn’t talking to me, she’s talking to herself, or singing to me or to the cats or just running in circles making random noises. It’s like spending the day at the mental ward. And if that isn’t bad enough when Super Girl gets home the volume goes UP! Way UP! Not just the SOUND but the actual volume of noise. Most days I’m good at using my finely tuned Mommy Hearing – that is I can filter out what is important such as a child screaming because a sibling is duct taping them to the toilet or the high pitched meow of a cat getting ready to get a hair cut with a safety razor and a pair of kindergarten scissors as opposed to the constant drone of ‘mom, mom, mom, I want a snack.’, today… well it’s nearly 7 pm and I think my Mommy Hearing has been switched off for the night. Or maybe it’s the pain I’m having from my shoulder to my head that’s making me less enthusiastic to listen to a litany of mom, mom, mom interspersed with the mostly incoherent babblings of a 4 year old playing with her stuffed rat. Eh… whatever, it’s quiet for a few moments.

On to other things.

TRF was an amazing experience. Just the drive there was an experience! Woohoo! We got a late start and being on the road as you approach 20 hours without sleep can be really bizarre. I honestly can not tell you what we discussed as we drove, but we talked non stop for the last couple of hours.

After arriving at camp at 4:30 am, we were all up and having breakfast at 8:30 am. Then it was into garb and off to faire! Woohoooo!!! I had so much fun! (check out the photos here) Whysper dressed up as Mae West for the Halloween costume contest in faire that day and she kept getting stopped by people wanting to take her photo.

Later than night Whysper, The Wife and I dressed in our costumes for Tinabug’s party. Whypser was Alice, The Wife was the Queen of Hearts and I was the Mad Hatter. I don’t think anyone ever envisioned that tale with so much cleavage or that many pouffy petticoats. After the party the three of us wandered around in an inebriated state visiting people in different camps. My apologies Sable and Lerxst for standing in the door of your camper and letting the cold in, but honestly you had way too many open flames for me to step inside without causing a flaming catstrophy. Whysper and I deposited The Wife back at camp and set out to find another party, but alas, possibly because of the cold, there wasn’t any good parties happening and we ended up back in our own camp playing the Gawdforsaken Name Game. Sheesh, I can not believe we played it so long! At the point that I was starting to fall asleep in my chair, I knew it was time to go to bed.

Sunday was another fun day at faire. It started it out with pancakes, eggs and sausage (pig free for me). The Alice group wore our most fabulous costumes in that day. Sometime in the afternoon we caught up with that darn white rabbit and got a picture with her.

We stayed to see the fireworks though I should have left earlier as I was riding back with Luna and I think she wanted to leave earlier. My bad, I just lost track of time.

The ride back was much quicker as Luna drives somewhere near the speed of light. No biggie, I was happy to get home. The Little People were thrilled with the gift of Baby Plague Rats and loved looking at all the photos, although Cabbage Patch insists that the photo of Whypser as Mae West is NOT Whysper.

Other things…

Ya know, it’s always amusing when the Little People quote lines from Young Frankenstein.
Weird Things

Yesterday, Cabbage Patch holds up a little Three Muskateer's bar (silver wrapper) and says 'Look star Wars Candy!' Silly kid.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Working My Way Back To You...

Damn I've been busy, I'll be randomly posting about the weekend and posting photos in no particular order. Please be patient as I either will actually do this or totally forget it, but hey, it's not like I'm getting paid for this shit!

Kid things

Yesterday while at the in-laws house the sister-in-law told us that the other day when she got the Toys-R-Us catalog in the mail she handed it to her son and he got all big eyed then said “I didn’t order this!” Silly kid.

Knock, knock, knockin’ on…

Cabbage Patch was sitting on the sofa next to me tonight as I was going over Super Girl’s homework and I look down to her touching my bra and then she starts knocking on it saying ‘knock, knock, knock..’ I grabbed her little hand and told her to stop knocking on my knockers!


So… Have I mentioned how Halloween is my FAVORITE non-holiday holiday? Well it is. It was the only time of year that a poor kid had absolute equality with the other kids. You didn’t need a fancy costume to get a bucket load of candy, you just needed the stamina to hit all the houses in the area, and sometimes the luck to get a parental unit to drive you to the better neighborhoods to hit them up for the good candy. D and I always had the shittiest costumes (thanks mom) but we never came home with less than half a pillow case full of loot. We had sooo much candy mom was throwing Halloween candy away at New Years. Because I can only remember one Halloween with having a cool costume (age 3 or 4 when I was a butterfly) I try really hard to make sure the Tiny Terrorist have costumes that they like. K is agreeable to this as his mom permanently damaged his psyche by making him a bunny costume the year he wanted to be an astronaut. A bunny costume on a 5 year old boy. Is it any wonder he’s a tad light in the loafers now? (kidding, kidding, put down the tar and feathers and stop planning a protest, it was a JOKE).

This year after much debate it was finally decided that Super Girl would be a fairy and Cabbage Patch would be a Princess… No wait… Super Girl would be a fairy and Cabbage Patch would be a fairy princess… Hold on… Super Girl would be a fairy and Cabbage Patch would be a butterfly… wait… scratch that… fairy… princess… fairy princes… butterfly… fairy… Butterfly. Yes, butterfly, maybe. Super Girl made up her mind and we had a cute costume. Cabbage Patch vacillated between fairy, princess, fairy princess and butterfly for weeks. It’s okay. I had it all covered. A hot pink and silver princess costume (complete with sparkly tiara) thanks to D and her $10, pink fairy wings and headband as well as pink leotard and tights(thanks to left overs from dance class), big butterfly wings (thanks to The Wife) and black leotard (more dance left overs) – everything is interchangeable and flexible so it wasn’t a huge deal to pin her down on specifics or stop her from changing her mind every day. Halloween morning, I ask Cabbage Patch what she wants to be, fully expecting her to say one of the above mentioned choices and am surprised by her answer of ‘a wolf’. A what? That’s all I could ask. She repeated herself. I just looked at her, then said to myself that it was hours away from trick-or-treating and she would probably want to be a fairy or whatever by lunch time. HAH! No. She repeated her choice of costumes throughout the day and as it got closer to trick-or-treating time, and I started to try to sway her with pretty wings and sparkly hair pieces, she stubbornly stuck to her decision. When K finally got home and asked her, then said “No, you are going to be a fairy.” I assured him that it wasn’t a big deal and was totally workable. Of course by then I was well into a snit (just ask K, he pointed it out to me) and didn’t fucking care if she wanted to just wear a garbage bag to trick-or-treat in. I told K to find certain things and scrubbed kids quickly. Cabbage Patch’s change to a wolf was an easy change if one that totally disappointed me as I was holding out that she would be a butterfly. Super Girl was not the issue. On Friday before I left for TRF her costume was together and she had been warned to NOT touch it under penalty of near death. Here we were just 30 minutes before we were to be at the in-laws house and everything of her costume except the wings was missing. I was truly in a SNIT by then. Thank goodness for an well stocked dress up bin as we were able to find a ballerina skirt that would work (although the cold weather necessitated pink sweats under the outfit, totally ruining the fairy effect). Whatever. I didn’t care, I almost didn’t go with them but in the end I did put on my cute little outfit and went as a leprechaun, running up and down the street guiding the kids to the lighted porches so we could all get back inside because it was COLD.

The highlight of the evening was our favorite house to trick-or-treat, they always have the BEST decorations. I stood behind the three kids as they rang the doorbell. The guy who answered the door was wearing a scary monster mask and growled at the kids who in turn all screamed like little girls (two of them couldn’t help that being that they are little girls, and the third is just a 5 year old boy so cut him some slack) and turned to run only to face a laughing me blocking their way. The guy pulled up his mask saying “aww, damn, it’s just me.” Then handed each kid a big handful of candy. I was still laughing two houses away. The best part of that story is that K and his brother were on the sidewalk and saw it all and laughed, when the nephew got back to his dad he made a point to say “I didn’t scream. I wasn’t scared.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I didn’t get a damn photo of my kids. Seems I forgot to charge my batteries in my camera after TRF and I managed to get 4 photos before it completely died (one of the nephew, one of the dog and one of each of the in-laws) – I completely suck. We finished the Halloween night by having a fun late dinner at Waffle House and listening to the Little People actually ASK to go to bed – yes there is a first for everything.
You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.