Friday, June 16, 2006

Where’s Waldo?

Dear Internet, I’m so sorry I’ve been gone. I know you’ve wondered and speculated as to where I’ve been and I’d like to say – many of you were dead wrong… I was not in rehab for any of my vices or addictions, I was not incarcerated for undisclosed felonious activities, I was not initiated into a tough biker gang, I was not quarantined for my annual bout of monkey pox/bird flu/bubonic plague/insert infectious disease (believe me I would have blogged in a drug induced haze), nor was I joining a cult (though I still am working on the guidelines for starting my own cult – the cult of Judyism… most members would be hot young mansicles who would be required to have copious amounts of sex with the cult leader – me… like I said… it’s still in the works, though I AM taking applications for membership). I was however really, really, fucking busy. Or maybe I was abducted by aliens… I think I’ll stick with that one because it’s better than saying that for a whole week I sat here in my living room and painted wooden eggs (photos forthcoming) for my grandmother’s 75th birthday and that I spend that Saturday with my family attempting to drink myself into a stupor (didn’t work) as we celebrated and somehow making up with the uncle who hasn’t spoken to me in 4 years – who knew that all I’d have to do was show up at a family gathering dressed white trash and let him mix me drinks – then drive back in the wee hours of the night/morning, get very little sleep, arrive home in time to take a 30 minute nap and get ready for a concert (where I got the deadly bug bite pictured below) – which rocked, they had donkeys in sombreros there – come home again in the wee hours of the morning and spend a large part of the next week helping someone move (ugh). So yeah, I’ve been abducted by aliens and it was interesting and I did get a lot of great photos, but I’m home now and I plan to spend the rest of this day doing some hard core napping (as if that will happen, my children are still HERE with ME… ugh… where is the Benedryl for them??). Again, I’m sorry I was gone, I’m back now, there were no anal probes, feel free to call me.


PS: YES there WILL be more photos of Coco!
Knit Rat!

All kids need a snuggly little rat to curl up with at bed time. I made this one for Cabbage Patch. I think I like Super Girl's better because it had multi-colored fur and mis-matched button eyes so it looked like it was a Mutant Rat! Hmmm... I'm thinking I need to start knitting rats for my pregnant friends... I need to start a line of Disturbing Gifts. Just think of what a conversation starter it would be to bring a bag full of pink and blue rats to a baby shower! Or how about the Angry Albino Baby Sock Monkey? Or maybe just a cuddly Voodoo doll for your favorite toddler? My First Tarot Deck with easy to read text? An artfully designed skull rattle? A shrunken head for baby to teeth on? Disturbing Gifts would rock. Anyone want to find me a backer for such a potentially proffitable venture? ;)
Not Dead Yet!

What the fuck is this???

This is a bug bite that's on my leg. I have no idea what the fuck it is, so like a reasonable adult, I'm turning to you Internet to diagnose me. I know, many of you choose to go to an ACTUAL doctor for this type of thing, but I happen to be exceedingly cheap and I'm related to a doctor so I just don't trust them enough to put my life in their hands (hey my aunt lost all my trust when she offered to stitch the gaping wound in my hand sans anesthetic). So Internet, it's up to you. Tell me what you think that is and if it's particularly heinous and deadly, please send links to graphic accounts of how I will suffer and die from this - I'll need to be prepared to photo blog the best parts of it.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Not Dead, Just Busy!!

I'm not dead. Just fucking busy.

So much to post, no time. Life been hijacked (feels like it).

So many cute doggie photos to post... so many completed painting projects to post photos of... so much napping to be done.

Back to you when I'm finished helping someone move.

Wish me luck.