Friday, March 03, 2006

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. – Fortune Cookie.

I really want to see a change in the pollution in the air that is eating the ozone, so I guess I had better stop farting.

I just had some fabulous Chinese food. My face is melting and my eyeballs are on fire, so it’s a good thing that my nose is running so very much, it may keep my hair from igniting.

I loves me some HOT and SPICY Chinese food. In fact that’s about the ONLY kind of Chinese food that I do like. I like it to the extreme. So very hot that it could cause brain damage, that the very smell of it causes nose hairs to become crinkly and singed, so hot that my freezer defrosts from the left overs. It’s a sickness really, if I order it hot and there is a little jar of super hot oil on the table, I WILL put it on my food prior to even tasting it. It’s crazy… because I know that not long into my sleep cycle I will be awakened with the nastiest and most painful case of reflux despite the extra acid blockers taken prior to ingesting the nuclear waste. AND even though I will have had this awful reflux, I will probably have this for breakfast tomorrow. Ahhh life is good!
The Fun Just NEVER ENDS!

Mid day see seems fine. She naps her normal amount of time and seems okay. Then about 4 pm after she complains about her tummy hurting again, this time it seems quite sincere and not her normal Drama Queen act, instead of wanting to be held or getting special attention, she just wants to be left alone. 4:30 pm I start considering looking for coverage for work tomorrow instead of a baby sitter. K and I banter back and forth about what to do. 4:45 pm she stands up and chums right on the floor. Nothing like scrubbing vomit off the floor.

Well that settles the question of whether to take them to an actual DAY CARE for the weekend. Not only would it cost too much $80-90 for Saturday alone, but with a kid who might still be checkin’ the tires, it just wouldn’t work. Ahh, but ALL is not lost. My Bitch Petey has just earned himself some free garb. He will not only come GET the Tiny Terrorists but he will watch them tomorrow while K and I both work.

*update* Shit! It's like the fucking Exorcist! She just did it AGAIN!!! Where the hell did that come from!

*note:I totally stole the intersting phrasing for vomiting from my new favorite blog Living In A Dream. Go check her out, she's so fucking cool I wish she lived in town so we could get drunk together.
Friday Fun

Fun things of this morning:
3:30 am wake up by Cabbage Patch telling me her tummy hurt.
4 am wake up by my stomach because I was hungry
4:01 am realize that Cabbage Patch’s hurting tummy is probably just her being hungry, share a packet of Pop Tarts with her
4:18 am back to bed
6:15 am wake up to alarm stupidly set early by me, try to snooze until 6:30 am
6:20 am wake up to Super Girl super girl opening the door – everybody up!
6:20-7:30 am argue with offspring about leaving the exercise ball alone, eating their breakfast (a freaking Pop Tart! What kid has to be TOLD to eat a Pop Tart??), finding their own damn clothes to wear and getting dressed.
7:31 am discover a child induced baby powder snow storm has occurred in my bathroom and question the usual suspects.
7: 40 am shove kids out the door to take Super Girl to the bus stop (thank heavens at least ONE is in school all day!)
7:47 am wave by to Super Girl and drag Cabbage Patch back home
8:15 am listen to Cabbage Patch tell me about her hurting tummy again and realize that her eating so much macaroni and cheese and no veggies in the past couple of days means she probably needs to take a poop!
8:25 am can we say suppository?? Question why, oh why did this have to happen on MY WATCH? Why can’t it be her daddy having to deal with a constipated pre-schooler?
9 am putting in Sleeping Beauty for Cabbage Patch to watch while she lounges on the couch being a prima donna.

Okay, whatever, I’m tired just writing that. Thank goodness for nap time. Today is absolutely beautiful. I can’t wait to drag the offspring around the park a few times today.

This FABULOUS new job that K has is now posing new challenges – he’ll be working Saturdays until the end of tax season so now I have the fabulous task of trying to find someone to watch my progeny while we both work on Saturday. Ahhh what fun! Any volunteers? How would YOU like to have a fun filled day with MY offspring? *sound of crickets chirping* Yeah, that’s what I thought. My boss is going to have a cerebral hemorrhage if I can’t work tomorrow. *sigh*

Okay, enough whining – I’ll write something more coherent later, must work out now.

I'll leave you with a little something to make you smirk all day - Check out what Steven Segal is doing these days. Some peole just aren't ageing well. Gotta love this too!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Coping out with a quiz!

Aren't you lucky!

You scored as Jason Voorhees. You are Jason Voorhees. You werent liked much as a child. All you wanted was to let your Mom raise you right. However after you died a watery death in Camp Crystal Lake, your Mom tried to take revenge, in which she too died a horrible decapitation. Now you will go on forever, seeking revenge! You may have the highest kill count in horror, but you arent all bad. You just love your mother!

Jason Voorhees




Freddy Krueger


Hannibal Lecter


Michael Myers






Buffalo Bill


Captain Spaulding




Which Horror Killer are You?
created with

Funny thing is I love Horror movies and I found myself hoping that I'd be either Jason, Freddy or Michael. Yeah I know I have issues.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Fish Facts

Super Girl informed me today that she learned about fish today. A certain kind of fish. A SMACKER fish. To which I replied with giggles and playfully smacking her on the head and asking if it was a smacker like that. (Yeah I know you are shocked that someone with such low maturity is allowed to raise children.) The more she described the fish the more I was certain that she was mistaken by the name, yet when I asked her if the fish might be a sucker fish (as in an algae eater) she was adamant that it WAS a SMACKER fish. She went on to tell me about how she learned about snapping turtles and I asked her if may she meant a SNAPPER not a SMACKER – again, her insistence that it’s a SMACKER FISH. More giggling on my part.

If any of you can find me a photo (real one fuckers) of a SMACKER fish, I’m sure the offspring would burst with joy at being able to prove me wrong.
Happy Fat Tuesday

I’m making gumbo and a King Cake for tonight. Although I don’t have a baby to put in the King Cake, so I may have to stuff a severed Barbie head in the cake to make do. I know, I know, the hair will make the cake taste funny so I’m fully prepared to use a Ken Doll head instead. Or maybe I’ll use a My Little Pony head and we can do it all Godfather like. Could be interesting if one of the Little People get it. Anyway, there should be massive amounts of leftovers of gumbo, if you want some… let me know. ;)

Sowing My Seeds

I went to buy seeds last night and there were none. This store carries a huge section of gardening things, but they don’t carry seeds! Last year they had a massive section of just SEEDS, but not this year. So no seeds. I realize it would be much more logical for me just to buy dirt and fill planters and leave it at that instead of my usual activities that involve me planting and nurturing only to be deeply disappointed at the lack of growing ability I possess. But NO, I will not be deterred from my pointless endeavor. It’s a tradition!

Club Choice

Saturday I was presented with a difficult choice – I was supposed to go game but mid day I was invited to go have girls night with my friends. Oh what a choice, to get my geek on or to get my freak on. I chose the club as we hadn’t been out since October! Luckily for me I still remembered how to dress like a slut and drink until drunk. The club was packed as there was some Mardi Gras celebration going on that night. The funniest thing was La SEG’s evil twin finding us then her talking like they were best friends from way back! It was funny and creepy – this chick just needed to dye her hair black and she would have completed the ‘twin’ look.

Anyway, I didn’t feel to bad about ditching a game because I had yet another game to be at on Sunday. I had to have balance ya know. My clubbing yin to my gaming yang. It’s all good.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Movies To Nap By

Hi! It’s Monday! Monday is my fuck off day. No post today because I spent the whole day laying on the couch sleeping through movies as my offspring surfed the net (Thank GAWD for Net Nanny!).

I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping lately and plan to do more in just a moment, I just felt like letting you all know that I’m not dead, I’m just in sloth mode and am being very, very lazy. It’s even an effort to type this to you, but because I love each and every one of you so very, very much I felt that I should make this tiny effort before going back to sleep.

I did make blueberry pancakes for lunch today though. My accomplishment of the day!

Note: This is all a complete and total lie… except for the part about loving each and every one of you… and the blueberry pancakes. Will post more tomorrow when time permits… Busy weekend, must to write. Must sleep now. Damn that PMS and my lack of chocolate! Send chocolate if you love me!