Friday, August 04, 2006

Hair Change

Hot in Pink!

Glowing Green!

What do you think? Should I buy the pink dye or the green dye?

Apparently my stalker has decided he doesn't want me to stab him the scrote. His 6:30 am phone call yesterday was not followed by one this morning. And really, who the hell is spankin' the monkey at 6:30 AM?? Or 4 am? Why would anyone be up choking thier chicken at 4 am?!?!? Whatever, just don't call me if you are doing it.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Who Wants To Help Me Hide A Body?

That ASSHOLE called my phone at 4 am today! 4 in the fucking morning! This shits not funny. It’s making me an even crankier bitch than usual. Part of me is really REALLY thankful that he doesn’t know where I live. Although… that might have been a good way to have his own stupidity take care of him – I’m sure my neighbor the *ahem* ‘former’ gang member would be more than helpful if I asked him to… after all he has already told me that if anyone causes trouble, he’d be more than willing to take care of things (I believe the phrase he used was “I’ll come out here with my glock in one hand and my cock in the other. I’ll take care of they ass.”)

Honestly, I just wish he’d STOP calling and forget about me or whatever! Sheesh, now why can’t I be this unforgettable to the guys I DO like???

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

What Your Underwear Says About You

Admit it, you've dreamed of being a underwear model.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.
Random Things Said In My Presence

Enjoy the movie… because you can’t get a refund. I mean you can’t get your money back so you might as well enjoy the movie, that’s all.

Her (while watching LOTR): What is he looking for?
Her 2: His creamsicle.
Me: What??????

ME: okay I need to go to bed
THEM: bed is over rated unless there is someone in it
ME: so true, sooooo true

Well I don’t want to trash it up. Fat pregnant hooker look isn't what I want right now.

So I'm white trashed OUT. It’s ubber sexy.

HAMMY: Damn the sperm!

Other Things

I’m lazy, I’m busy, I’m out of touch and under sexed. I haven’t blogged and whatever, I’ll get to it in a while. I have to make a baby quilt this week. I’m such a procrastinator, I’ll be sewing it Friday if I don’t get off my ass and get it started now. It should be delightfully adorable and goth and doesn’t that just sound like a weird combination for a baby quilt? Who cares, Claire will love it. All black and red and silver with little skulls and stuff.

On the Crazy Front

And for once I’m not referring to a family member or close friend. Some men need ball sacks stapled to desk. Apparently I’m being stalked in a passive aggressive manner by a guy I went out with ONCE a couple of months ago. I found him to be intellectually inferior (i.e. fucking stupid) despite being physically appealing to the eye and that is a sin I can not forgive and can not date. So I stopped taking his phone calls. He kept calling but I didn’t answer. The last such ignored phone call was a week or so ago. Yesterday morning my cell phone rang at 6:45 am. It said PRIVATE and that piqued my curiosity so I answered it. What I heard was heavy breathing of someone engaged in some type of masturbatory activity. I thought it was kind of funny and I THOUGHT it was someone else trying to be funny. The call lasted maybe 3 minutes then the caller hung up. Later that morning I asked the ‘someone else’ about the call and he pleaded ignorance and then I was instantly creeped out and disgusted which amused the hell out of him. This morning my phone rang at 5 am! Again with the heavy breathing. This time I said “Who is this?” and the person started saying something about sucking his cock… or maybe sorting his socks… not sure… it was 5 am and I was PISSED about being woken up. I hung up. ASSHOLE calls RIGHT back, I hit ignore and went back to bed. I recognized the voice as the moron from the one date. If he wakes me up again with the sounds of him pulling his pud I will be forced to drive to his house and stab him in the scrot. Don’t think I won’t.