Saturday, April 26, 2008

Stunning Saturday CAKE!

So damn fabulous!

And that is all. I'm tired, I'm mentally bereft, emotionally overwrought and I just need to go to bed. And why the hell isn't Torchwood on tonight???

Friday, April 25, 2008

Just Cake

So much to do, so much to say, but best if I just say nothing, so enjoy the CAKE!

I love this baby shower ducky cupcakes!
Probably one of my favorite wedding shower cakes I've done. In fact I like it so much I'm going to put it in my book.
Another new favorite. I like the simplicity of it.
Simple, yet it took for-fucking-ever to do. It's for an anniversary and I think there will be fresh flowers put on the cake.
Best Reason Yet

Cabbage Patch: I don't want to go to school! I have Spring.
Me: So do I, get dressed.

If only that was a good reason to not go to work/school! *sigh* looks like a lovely day ahead.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Cake Speak

A woman came in to the store today and wanted some dinner rolls. I was completely and utterly of no help as I'm unaccustomed to handling anything other than cake and cupcakes. No matter I sold her boxes of croissants after convincing her they were what she really wanted. I really shouldn't be left alone in the bakery. I think in cake, questions about other bakery goods befuddle me. I tend to explain that I don't know jack about any of this bread stuff, but CAKE! I know CAKE!

The conversations go like this:

Customer: Hi, I'm looking for some dinner rolls.
Me: Good morning! Ummmm... dinner rolls.... hmmm... so... cupcakes... right over here.
Customer: No, no. I need some dinner rolls. I got some garlic and herb ones here last week.
Me: Did you now? Last week? And you want some cake to go with that? Chocolate? Butter cream icing?
Customer: Um... potato rolls even?
Me: Potato what? That's not cake is it? How about Italian cream cake with cream cheese icing? You look like an Italian cream cake kind of person. I can even put little flowers on it for you.
Customer: I'm going to leave now.
Me: Have a happy frosted day!

No really, don't ask me about anything other than CAKE. Even if it's on sale, I don't know.

Offensive Pastry

Speaking of cake, when I got to work I noticed TWO unfamiliar and ugly cakes in my display case! TWO! Because I'm a psycho cake decorator, I was instantly incensed. How dare they put ugly cakes in my display case, right under the sign that says 'Cakes by Judy!' I suppressed my initial urge to dispose of them, and by dispose I mean angrily jerk them out of the display case and fling them against the wall before setting them ablaze. I left them unmolested but put my sign down because I didn't want to be accused of making those monstrosities.

I move on now...

Dialing Issues

Last night when I left my Sweetie Sarge's place, I decided to call my friend in Japan on the way home. I figured since it was near midnight and JG is in Japan, that it would be a reasonable time to phone him. I dialed and an irritated woman answered. I asked to speak to JG and she said something like "He's not here." and then asked me again who I wanted to talk to in a rather hostile tone. I thought that maybe this was JG's girlfriend and I had inadvertently gotten him in trouble. I told her I wanted to talk to JG and she said well he's not here so I asked "Wait, is this a wrong number or is he just not there?" and she said "It's a wrong number." And I hung up. So... WTF? It's a wrong number and she says he's not there, not "sorry, wrong number"? Mental bitch. When I got home checked my e-mail for his number and checked my phone and discovered that I'm just stupid and didn't take out his old cell number so... some bitchy woman in Cali got a call at 10 pm from some unfamiliar woman (me). I probably got that woman's boyfriend in deep shit. Today JG called me back and we laughed and laughed about it.

My Cupcakes Bring All The Boys To The Yard...

Today there were two contractors in the store running cable to hook up our new price scanning stuff. As it would turn out, every time they had to be in the bakery, I had two contractors hitting on me. The first one came into the bakery right after I baked bread and wanted to know what smelled so good. I told him it was my cupcakes because that's what I was icing at the moment. Then he came and stood about half an inch from me. I said something about my cupcakes bringing all the boys in and he said "No, it's not your cupcakes, it's something else." I said "Oh really?" he said "It's because you are a redhead and you know what they say about redheads." "Nope, not at all. Haven't the foggiest." "Yeah right."

The most amusing part was when both were in my area and they were both hitting on me. It's not like I get hit on very often so I really almost felt the need to give them both a cookie or make them a cupcake. And really between the call from Japan and they two contractors, I just kind of forgot to be pissed about the ugly cakes.

Okay, that is all. No cake pics today.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Feel of Stupid

Having taped a few programs last week to watch with my Sweetie Sarge and upon going to watch them discovering that the show you really wanted to see, that ONE, the one you didn't watch either, THAT is the one that didn't tape. The others, they are there, just not THAT ONE. Damn.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Taste of Irony

After making a large batch of Passover Rolls and letting the offspring eat many of them, noticing the words "Not For Passover" in small white print on the box of matzoh meal I used to make them. Oy gevalt!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I'm a Freak Magnet

Today I got the creepiest e-mail today. It was a member contact from a web site I completely forgot I was a member of and never go to. His email said... here, just read it:

Hi,

I'm male, 64, 6'4", 275 lbs, white, live and work in (insert city close to where I live). Like to role play insest and much more. Have fantasy about my Aunt and about Mother Son and Father Daughter. Will host in motel since wife is not aware of my role play. Email me if interested and I will send my pic. I have large breasts for a man and they are very sensitive especially the nipples which get very hard. 7" penis and long lasting. Like to spend 3 or 4 hours together.

Jerry


All I can say is EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I wanted to e-mail him back and tell that I have a wonderful man in my life. And also tell him he is a sick fuck and I'd never get desperate enough to fuck the likes of him - even if all my batteries died simultaneously. Just the thought of big old man titties makes me cringe.

Then I realized what a waste of time that would be. This web site only has that I am a member and I'm female in Texas, my user name is far different than anything else I use. Meaning this poor sick bastard probably sent this e-mail to every other female member in hopes that his big boy titties and 7" everlasting penis will lure some woman into a steamy rendezvous in the local Motel 6. I have the strong feeling that the $35.99 he's earmarked for motel expenses will end up being used to buy a lot of lube and porn for some solo experiences.

Good luck to you pervert, but don't e-mail me again.

PS - no the website isn't a kinky sex site, it's a literature site. So hey he's at least semi-educated, still a pervert.
Insert Witty Title Here

Because I'm just drawing a blank. So, the Seder went off well. This year it was all quite simplified due to my ignorance of not asking for Saturday off so I could prepare for the Seder. Of course I had an extraordinarily busy Saturday with a filled, stacked wedding cake and a fancy wedding shower cake with cupcakes. About 4 pm I was starting to drag and had to run out on the floor to buy myself some coffee that didn't help a bit!

I got home a bit after 6 pm and we got snapping on getting the Seder started. The offspring were mightily disappointed that there was no Puppet Theater Seder this year and I must admit that I too was deeply saddened by this fact. I have no idea where my poor puppet has gone or who has abducted him. I made up for the lack of puppet by reading part of the Haggadah in Captain Kirk style.

We had a simple dinner of buffalo chicken for the meal and then I made my only miscalculation in this whole deal. I hid the afikomen in my room on top of my dresser. The Tiny Terrorist headed off to my room to search and came out for hints about 10 minutes in. They finally found it and we wrapped up the Seder. After they were in bed K looked into my room and started laughing. I looked in and saw my closet door open, dresser drawers open, night stand drawers open, my bed in complete disarray, stuff EVERYWHERE. It looked as though my room was ransacked. Ah well I suppose I too would ransack someone's bedroom if I was promised first pick of the giant chocolate bars.

Here's what our Seder Plate looked like. Much like last year... and the year before... and the year before... and... you get the idea.

Today I made the coconut macaroons for the offspring. I used a whole new recipe and completely messed up the batter on the last step. I didn't gently mix in the coconut into the whipped egg whites and completely deflated the egg whites. Luckily everything tasted delightful when cooked - flat macaroons are still yummy. So yeah, I'm actually thankful I didn't make a big meal, though I do miss making the big meal, I love to cook holiday meals - but, there are NO leftovers and THAT is a good thing as I really need to start watching what I'm eating again. And now that Passover is done, my obligation to eat Matzah is fulfilled and I can go back to not eating bread.

Okay, okay, I know, enough Jewish stuff - you just want CAKE!

Something for the case.
I don't actually like how it turned out.
I have no idea why, just following the customer request.
The wedding cake from this week. I really don't like it. Not that it matters what I like, I just decorate them.
The groom picked it up and loved it, he said the bride would love it also.

Speaking of wedding cakes, I'm kind of curious as to why the trend of late is to have people order their cakes with just a week or less before the wedding? I had 2 days notice on this cake. Honestly are there that many people out there just suddenly deciding to get married on the spur of the moment? Eh who knows.