Thursday, April 24, 2008

Cake Speak

A woman came in to the store today and wanted some dinner rolls. I was completely and utterly of no help as I'm unaccustomed to handling anything other than cake and cupcakes. No matter I sold her boxes of croissants after convincing her they were what she really wanted. I really shouldn't be left alone in the bakery. I think in cake, questions about other bakery goods befuddle me. I tend to explain that I don't know jack about any of this bread stuff, but CAKE! I know CAKE!

The conversations go like this:

Customer: Hi, I'm looking for some dinner rolls.
Me: Good morning! Ummmm... dinner rolls.... hmmm... so... cupcakes... right over here.
Customer: No, no. I need some dinner rolls. I got some garlic and herb ones here last week.
Me: Did you now? Last week? And you want some cake to go with that? Chocolate? Butter cream icing?
Customer: Um... potato rolls even?
Me: Potato what? That's not cake is it? How about Italian cream cake with cream cheese icing? You look like an Italian cream cake kind of person. I can even put little flowers on it for you.
Customer: I'm going to leave now.
Me: Have a happy frosted day!

No really, don't ask me about anything other than CAKE. Even if it's on sale, I don't know.

Offensive Pastry

Speaking of cake, when I got to work I noticed TWO unfamiliar and ugly cakes in my display case! TWO! Because I'm a psycho cake decorator, I was instantly incensed. How dare they put ugly cakes in my display case, right under the sign that says 'Cakes by Judy!' I suppressed my initial urge to dispose of them, and by dispose I mean angrily jerk them out of the display case and fling them against the wall before setting them ablaze. I left them unmolested but put my sign down because I didn't want to be accused of making those monstrosities.

I move on now...

Dialing Issues

Last night when I left my Sweetie Sarge's place, I decided to call my friend in Japan on the way home. I figured since it was near midnight and JG is in Japan, that it would be a reasonable time to phone him. I dialed and an irritated woman answered. I asked to speak to JG and she said something like "He's not here." and then asked me again who I wanted to talk to in a rather hostile tone. I thought that maybe this was JG's girlfriend and I had inadvertently gotten him in trouble. I told her I wanted to talk to JG and she said well he's not here so I asked "Wait, is this a wrong number or is he just not there?" and she said "It's a wrong number." And I hung up. So... WTF? It's a wrong number and she says he's not there, not "sorry, wrong number"? Mental bitch. When I got home checked my e-mail for his number and checked my phone and discovered that I'm just stupid and didn't take out his old cell number so... some bitchy woman in Cali got a call at 10 pm from some unfamiliar woman (me). I probably got that woman's boyfriend in deep shit. Today JG called me back and we laughed and laughed about it.

My Cupcakes Bring All The Boys To The Yard...

Today there were two contractors in the store running cable to hook up our new price scanning stuff. As it would turn out, every time they had to be in the bakery, I had two contractors hitting on me. The first one came into the bakery right after I baked bread and wanted to know what smelled so good. I told him it was my cupcakes because that's what I was icing at the moment. Then he came and stood about half an inch from me. I said something about my cupcakes bringing all the boys in and he said "No, it's not your cupcakes, it's something else." I said "Oh really?" he said "It's because you are a redhead and you know what they say about redheads." "Nope, not at all. Haven't the foggiest." "Yeah right."

The most amusing part was when both were in my area and they were both hitting on me. It's not like I get hit on very often so I really almost felt the need to give them both a cookie or make them a cupcake. And really between the call from Japan and they two contractors, I just kind of forgot to be pissed about the ugly cakes.

Okay, that is all. No cake pics today.

No comments: