Saturday, May 07, 2005

Not As Planned

That's kind of the story of my life though. Things don't go exactly as planned... but I guess that's what makes it interesting.

I had hoped and anticipated a short day today what with it being Mother's Day weekend and Dr.s generally not wanting to work holidays. I knew that C-sections and inductions would have been done much earlier. Well my hopes and aspirations were dashed when I got here and had 22 babies on my list. Yeah, that's a lot. Luckily for me 3 have declined and I am pretty certain that at least one of the remaining 3 I need to schedule with will also decline. As it stands currently I have appointments until 4:15 pm and I will check with the remaining 3 after 4:30 pm. I won't be out of here until at least 5 pm then I have the joy of going to the other hospital.

I need to call the guy I have a date with tonight and let him know we need to move it back or move it to another day. Fuck I need a nap... or LOTS of Starbucks.

Well off to my next appointment.

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

25% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

Your Japanese Name Is...

Momo Matsudaira

I kind of like Momo... awfully close to MoJo which I like a lot.

Your Birthdate: August 11

Your birth on the 11th day of the month makes you something of a dreamer and an idealist.

You work well with people because you know how to use persuasion rather than force.

There is a strong spiritual side to your nature, and you may have intuitive qualities inherent in your make up, too.

You are very aware and sensitive, though often temperamental.

Although you have a good mind and you are very analytical, you may not be comfortable in the business world.

You are definitely creative and this influence tends to make you more of a dreamer than a doer.

Oddly accurate..

Friday, May 06, 2005

G*d Save The Little Children

Anyone who deems me a hero and jumps up and down excitedly just because I'm giving them SpaghettiO's for lunch is alright in my book.
Fire The Logo Person!

You MUST go look at this really bad choice of logos. (don't worry it's work safe, no nekked people)

Who came up with that logo? I wonder if they'd be willing to do political ads? I think I'd like them more with logos like that!
Good Morning!

How's your morning going? Good? That's great. And mine? Well it started GREAT! I got the ultimate pleaure of PLUNGING my toilet first thing in the morning! Woohoo! Nothing like towels soaked with toilet water to make your day start right!

Yesterday morning started with me trying to open the corn flakes and having the container just explode open, so I had to clean up corn flakes from EVERYWHERE. Much fun. I think this is becoming a theme.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Thanks For The Warning

Because I'm a mom, I say really stupid and rediculous things to my children to entertain them. Things like I'm going to eat your fingers/toes/nose/elbow/cookie or I'm going to cook you for dinner or I'm going to cover your mouth with duct tape... Okay that one is more to amuse myself... but for some reason they both perk up and ask for the duct tape, and although it's VERY tempting, I never do break out the duct tape as it would be way to difficult to explain to CPS that the kids WANTED the duct tape over their mouths, right now I'll just have to continue to keep Benedryl around for QUIET time.

Anyway... I digress... as usual. The other day as Cabbage Patch was sitting in my lap playing with me I told her I would eat her fingers and she stopped giggling, looked right at me and said "No, you can't eat my fingers, they will make you sick." All I could say was "Oh really? Okay then." And she got off my lap to go torture the cat, obviously no longer interested in playing with someone so stupid as to NOT know that eating fingers will make you sick. I wonder if she's been reading about the Wendy's chilli case?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Proudly Damaging My Childs Psychie Every Chance I Get

The following story is why I will never be voted Mother Of The Year and that is why I someday will be in a tower with a rifle aimed at Kathy Lee. Cabbage Patch regretably has inherited my bug-phobia. About the only BUGS she will touch are lady bugs and butterflies. Yesterday while walking home from the bus stop, Super Girl picked up a rolly polly and it was walking on her hand. Cabbage Patch was watching and ooohhh-ing. I took the bug from Super Girl and held it in my hand for a bit then in a moment of absolute insanity - I mean my brain was not fucking connected in any way at all - I flicked the rolly polly at Cabbage Patch who screamed like the little girl she is. And if THAT wern't enough - I LAUGHED! Then I had the thought that it probably WASN'T a GOOD idea to have done that nor to have LAUGHED. And I laughed again. Bad, bad, bad Judy.

Karma has a way of balancing out though. Today while while waiting for the bus this morning Cabbage Patch let out a blood curdling scream and came running to me - while still screaming. She pointed down to her foot and the only words I could make out were ANT and SHOE. I inspected her sandal and tried to inspect her toes for ants but that was neigh impossible as she had her toes curled so tightly I wish she had of had a lump of coal there to make a diamond. Her foot was literally curled in so tightly it only occupied half of her shoe. I inspected what I could and there was no ant - as I'm quite certain all the high pitched screeching had made the ant think twice and head for it's hill, all I found was a few specks of dirt and some grass. i did manage to calm her down and walk home, but I guess that was my payback for flicking that rolly polly at her. Bad me.
Come On Ride The Train

Last night to get to the vodka tasteing, I rode the train. Yes public transportaion at is best (sarcasm). Now, I am a seasoned veteran of public transportation having been carless and drivers licenseless until I was 23 (no that's not a joke). Hell I even dated a guy I rode the bus with! (that actually sounds much lamer than it was, I met him at college - we both were attending community college down town - he did have a car, but it's much eaiser and cheaper to take the bus. Actually that's still pretty damn lame.)

ANYWAY... Edana was convinced that taking the train would be the eaisiest thing to do for her also. So she reluctantly agreed. Edana had never riden the train before and wasn't so sure it was a good idea. Heidi convinced her it was much eaiser to take the train, and hell I didn't need to be talked into not having to drive and waste my gas - the round trip cost just over the cost of a gallon of gas. Plus I could READ if I wanted to! Edana decided to depart from the same train station I would be departing from.

K drops me off at the station and I walk over to the ticket machine, all the while keeping an eye out for Edana. When I get to the ticket kiosk this drunk comes up to me to 'help' me work the machine. Typical. Bus stations always have a lot of drunk and homeless hanging around looking for a handout. So I just smile and nod while I pay my $2.50 and get my ticket from the machine, then walk away. I find Edana standing reading a book and we get on the train. Then she tells me about how the drunk approached her while she was getting her ticket, before he could even get his speach going she turned to him and said "Dude, don't make me have to shoot you!" needless to say he did NOT continue talking and just walked the fuck away. I start laughing hard thinking of her scaring the crap out of that drunk. Wish I could have seen that!

Later on the train after watching Edana cautiously eye ever person getting on the train, I said "You never rode a public bus have you?" she confirmed my observation and I went on to tell her of some of my more interesting public transportation tales until we reached our stop.

Unfortunately we did not ride the train back as in my inebriated state I could not locate my ticket right off and the Captain insisted on driving us back to the train station to be certain we were okay to drive home. I'm sure the adventure would have been truly blog worthy. Edana and I will have to ride the train again sometime.
It's A Wonder They Didn't Throw Us Out

Last night was an Emerald Dragon crew building exercise - a Vodka Tasteing! It was a BLAST! This vodka was FABULOUS! I have to get some (Sable is getting some for a few of us).

The Captain and his lady,

having a pre voka beer

Chernobel Hair!

I guess I got a little too close to that Giant Chernobel Rat at the baseball game.

Hmmmm.. what could the Captain be talking about?

Now I'm truly sad I wasn't on that end of the table to hear THAT conversation.

Sable & Konrad

I'm surprised Konrad stuck around such a rowdy group!

We did get a bit loud (well Lady Edana did... I did just a little. There should be a warning sign on us when we are together). Go check out the rest of the photos for proof.

I gotta say, we have to have the BEST DAMN SHIP EVER! Vodka tasteing for a crew building exercise... that rocks!

Anyway... that was the vodka tasting... I'll write a bit more about the Train Ride with Lady Edana later. hehehehehehe...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Baseball Lame

So we go to the game last night and the mascot was there. This big nuclear accident orange furry thing. Supposedly it's a Prairie Dog. Huh? Why a prairie dog? Fuck if i know.

This is not a prairie dog. It's a giant rat from Chernobel.

THIS is a prairie dog, notice that it is NOT bright ORANGE!

Another photo of the Giant Chernobel Rat.

Big Rat Ass - that's not good for anyone.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Baseball Game

We went to a baseball game tonight (gag). Here are my Stick Art interpretations of the actual events. (I drew these AT the game - yes I did).


Mascot or Rat

The Torture Continues

me on the way back from dinner. Bastard made me sit for another inning.

Real photos of the ACTUAL mascot rat thing will be posted tomorrow.
Porta Pottie Problems

Moments before Scotish Court was to start, Cabbage Patch announced that she needed to POTTY and since that potty incident the previous Friday had happened, I took her plea quite seriously. (that and I KNEW there was no place to procure fresh panties for her and she is not a child to go comando - much like her mother). An inquiry as to where the closest privvies were informed me that the closest ones were the *ahem* primatives and they were not far at all and CLEAN. As I didn't have the luxury to head all the way to the flushing toilets, we rushed to the porta-potties.

As promised, they were clean - no disgusting smell of urine, etc. as we approached. I herded the Little People to the large handicapped stall so we could all fit in there and that is where the problems began.

Cabbage Patch headed to the toilet and lifted the lid then announced she would NOT use that toilet. It being a well flush-less toilet, it had well unflushed paper and all in it. She found that unacceptable. And refused to use said toilet. Now... I have sympathy for the child. I absolutly despise using a public toilet let alone a porta-potty. BUT... she's 3 and there's NO way in heaven or hell that we would make it to the flushing toilets. Not a chance. Super Girl stood as far from the toilet as she could and declared that she didn't have to go with wide eyes. *sigh* Being the adult I had to take charge and MAKE Cabbage Patch go. She voiced her displeasure as I bared her bottom and placed it on the toilet seat - of which she just barely perched herself upon. But she went. And then declared that she would NOT use that toilet again. I whole heartedly agree. They may be 'CLEAN' but they were still repulsive. I think I may have to go for some kind of counseling for the next week or so - I had to use it also. Eeeek!
Scarby 4th Weekend

Because I went with The Little People, I will break my rule of never posting photos of them on here - they were soooo cute!


Gathering Nuts

A fairy gathering nuts. She was tucking them in a fold in her skirt, I was afaid she would go up to the queen and drop the thing of nuts right in front of her. Luckily she abandoned her nut gathering before seeing the queen.

Mini Pirate

Captain John teaching Super Girl the fine points of being a Pirate!

Scurvy Dogs!

My crew mates - well some of them. The others must be in the brig or something to have been missing Faire.

We had such a delightful time. Super Girl and Cabbage Patch are still talking about the Fairy Eggs they got from the Mayor. They enjoyed meeting a REAL Fairy - Jodie (she really is a real life fairy, even if she doesn't know it). Becomeing a lady was fun for them, though they didn't like standing in line one bit. Lucky for them, I bought them ice cream to make up for the long line. We all enjoyed the Ded Bob show and enjoyed watching the closing ceremonies. After gate closing Captain John gave Super Girl pointers on being pirate and gave Cabbage Patch a bit of help with flying with her new wings. It was a good day for all!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Scarby! Scarby! Scarby!

I'm so excited, I'm taking The Little People to Scarby today! Super Girl is about to pop she's so excited. I've decided to forgo wearing ship colors (green and black) and wear my garb that matches Super Girl's garb (luckily her dress from last year still fits as I made it a bit big, and a gypsy skirt and shirt from 2 years ago for Super Girl will fit Cabbage Patch). Matching mommy is a really big deal for Super Girl otherwise I would either have K lace me into my red corset and drive to faire like that or would bring the green and black to wear, but since it DOES make a difference to Super Girl, I will make sure we match.

This has been a good and busy weekend. Friday night I went to pick up my belt from Lerxst and also to have dinner with him and Sable. I totally owe Sable as the Tiny Terrorist fell madly in love with her and would not give her a moment's peace - I was so rude and let the kids mob her as I went to talk to Lerxst in the garage about GROMMETS of all things! Sheesh - I deserve a smack. My appologiex Sable, that was completly rude of me and I honestly don't do that normally... but BLACK GROMMETS! I NEED SOME! Sable was an angel and is a natural with kids, she's going to make such a good mom. I can so see her making sure her and her kids have matching garb and all. heh.

The dinner was great but the REAL fun happened BEFORE we even got there. Lerxst lives about 15 minutes drive from me, we had agreed that 7ish was a good time to show up. I left at 6:30 pm knowing I needed to pick up salad and desert as well as get gas in the car. A stop off to get gas was time consumeing to say the least. Just as I walk to the cashier to pre-pay my $20 he is walking out of the little bullet proof building telling me he'll 'be right back' as he goes to walk someone through how to use their store card on the pump. *sigh* He finally saunters back and I then PUMP and now it's time to get food. Into Tom Thumb we go. Tomatoes on sale, salad 2 for one, can't find THE delightful pie I want, then Cabbage Patch says that she needs to go POTTY. I say, hold it, we are almost done... my mistake. I finally chose a pie and rush over to the potty. Where she says that she doesn't have to go anymore. She wet her pants. *sigh*. We go check out and of course the line that I go into which is very short - well I discover why - the checker is PAINFULLY slow. Out of the grocery store, stuff in the trunk, where to get fresh clothes for Cabbage Patch. Right across the street is the answer - Target. $9.99 later with a pack of Tinkerbell panties and blue shorts in hand we head back to the car to change the wee one. We arrive at Lerxst at 7:39 pm. Never a dull moment.

Well back to work.