Friday, September 10, 2004

Oy, I Could Not Be Prouder...

Today while I was going over Rosh Hashanah stuff with Super Girl, she tells me that when she grows up she wants to be the one to blow the Shofar. (click the word to see what it is. A smack to all you dirty minded perverts who were thinking something else!!! I'll post the shofar/chaufer joke soon though.) I swear I was all farklempt after that.
Political Picnic

Saturday of the past Labor Day weekend, we (the family) attended a political picnic at the park located next to the lake that is conveniently located within walking distance of my abode. This is the same lake that I regularly drag Cabbage Patch around despite her incessant brain shattering whining, which in turn causes people to look at me with either absolute pity or complete revulsion at what an abusive mother I could be to force my (by her choice, utterly sedentary) three year old to walk and get some fresh air and much needed exercise prompting those individuals to either ask if I have a stroller or ask if I'm a single mother and need a stroller as the idea of a child just being a prima donna whinny brat hadn't even crossed their minds. But I digress, back to the picnic.

K is quite the card carrying Democrat these days. I suppose that when he came out of the closet he was given his Gay Card and his Democrat Card all in the same day. No matter, his intense interest in something somewhat altruistic is refreshing and welcome. Everyone who attended was asked to bring something so K made a (drum roll please) three layered Jell-o mold in the shape of the United States - yes it was RED, WHITE and BLUE. We also brought a couple of bags of chips and some Cokes.

We stood in the food line with the Little People. Most items were just nasty looking or far to questionable for me to put on my plate or even suggest that my offspring do so. K, being the gastronomicly adventurous man that he is, filled his plate with the typical picnic fare which frightened and repulsed me. I settled on some hummus and pita triangles (which turned out to be hard as fucking rocks) to accompany my tepid all beef hotdog (lucky for me one of the candidates at the picnic is Jewish so I didn't have to consider mystery meat hotdogs). As we get to the table Cabbage Patch drops her hot dog on the ground which commences a race between her and her daddy to see who will pick up the hot dog first, if she got it first chances are she would bite into the dirt covered frankfurter. Luckily K got it in the trash pretty quick. I gave Cabbage Patch mine and sent K, the dutiful daddy (who had dragged us to this) to procure me a happy new hotdog. Super Girl refused to fill a plate with food during our trek through the line but as soon as we sat down she voiced her desire for food. *sigh* Once again through the line, this time with feeling. Super Girl didn't want anything but the all beef hotdog and some chips so we are in and out of the line pretty damn quick. We all sit at the table and eat our tepid dogs while being 'entertained' by the dj who was desperately trying to get the crowd excited despite the fact that he was playing awful music picked out by some 65 year old guy (Mr. DJ).

Once I finished my dog I realized that my time released super-duper strength sinus/cold/allergy tablet had no more time left on it and the mucus factory within my sinus work super efficiently to obstruct my nasal passages. This of course causes me to have a headache and feel crappy. We sat through some political speech given by a couple of candidates - I couldn't tell you what they were saying because to be quite truthful it was boring and I zoned out. Short attention span, what can I say. I considered lying and saying that I was preoccupied with herding the children into a small area on the grass near the table for them to run and play - this is not a lie, but it's not the reason I wasn't listening to the speeches. After all the talking stopped I sent K to get dessert for all of us as I figured the extra sugar for the Little People couldn't possibly make them any more hyper than they already were. K returned with cookies and brownies and then I spotted IT. The absolute most wonderful sugar coated yum-yum ever made. Frosted Animal Cookies! I recognized the bag even though it's been YEARS since I last bought (and devoured) a bag. I demanded that K get me some (all) of the cookies! He returned with a small bowl of them, the little people helped me eat them and I had to seriously control my urges to yell at them to not touch my fucking cookies, I love Frosted Animal Cookies. Mmmm the little pink and white animals with sprinkles... Absolute heaven.... *sigh* I love them almost as much as XXX.

Afterward, I was miserable and ready to go home but NOOOOOOOO the Democrats had planned a torture session especially for me. They called it 'games' for the kids, but I know better. I stood by as the Little People participated in a hoola-hoop contest - though neither of my progeny can hoola-hoop. I silently suffered as they tossed bean bags into a basket (that was moving closer and closer with each toss). The duck game was not so much suffering as it just entailed the Little People picking up a duck out of a blow up pool (no water). Each game secured the kids with a 'prize' for their participation. Prize = Crap. Yay.

Then K asked me if I wanted to meet the candidate he was so impressed with. I said yes. I chatted with the candidate and then it was time to go. I was tired, the tiny terrorists were irritating and it was getting dark. Had we not given enough already? Isn't a Jell-o mold enough??? So we left. K grabbed some spiffy political signs to prominently display in front of out town house. (Much to his delight, yesterday a woman in the area knocked on the door wanting to know where she could get signs like his. I had to call him and tell him how impressed someone was with his political decorations.)

My first political picnic. Maybe my last. The next thing is supposed to take place at a coffee house, I may attend that... Just for the coffee. ;o)

Thursday, September 09, 2004

No Yoga = Inflexibility

I was just remembering something that struck me as odd from back when I was driving back from my visit with XXX. I didn't write about it because I ended up just not freaking writing about the suck ass drive home. Yeah it sucked for a number of reasons, I had a tire that I had discovered was really low the morning I left - so gimpy tire made for shaky alignment and shitty drive, got caught in Fucking Austin lunch time traffic, debit card not working at gas station that required PAY BEFORE PUMPING (which I hate), nasty restroom in gas station, pissy gas station attendants, running late getting home and what sucked the most - leaving XXX and knowing I would be sleeping alone again. *sigh* So, yeah I just didn't write about the drive home.

After driving through Austin I stopped to get some gas and check the gimpy tire. Mostly to check the tire as I had half a tank of gas, I figured I'd get gas since I was stopped anyway. As I was pulling into the gas station I stopped at I had been flipping through the stations to find something not so sucky to listen too. I stopped pressing the SEEK button as I turned into the gas station, it was now on some talk radio show. The person talking was talking about Yoga and Christianity. I'm familiar with both. I do yoga and though I'm not a Christian I played one for several years. I listened as I dug trough my purse for my useless debit card. The speaker started in on how one could not be a Christian and practice yoga, how practicing yoga went against the teachings of Christianity. Although I know that in some cultures the practice of yoga is part of their spirituality everyone I know (including myself) know not a damn thing about yoga spirituality and are doing yoga for the flexibility and relaxation. I couldn't listen to anymore of the speakers ramblings and turned off my car. It struck me as ironic that someone would be denoucing yoga for Christians as I've known more than a few Christians who I considered to be rather inflexible.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Curriculum Night (Open House)

Tonight was 'Curriculum Night' at Super Girl's school. From 6:30 pm to 8 pm. Have I mentioned that I'm still sick? I'm sure I have, if not I'm sure my lovely cough and constant nose blowing would be a dead give away. I've reached the peak of my illness I believe. I'm to the point that the non-drowsiness super strength medicine no longer makes me feel peppy and energetic, just not quite so sleepy and allows me to breath freely through both nostrils for several minutes before having to blow my nose to have unobstructed air-flow again. I know... to much sharing. Sorry, my judgement is impared by Nightquil. I've been running a low fever also. This makes me feel intermitantly cold and hot. Curently I'm hot. I'm sweaty and I feel as though someone is holding a blow torch on my face and back. I feel like that after any physical exerstion as well. Life is great. Anyway, as I was saying tonight was open house at Super Girl's school and I was determined to go. When K got home about 6 pm I was laying on the sofa trying to convince the Little People to be very quiet and still and that they wanted to nap with mom - my attempts were in vain. While the Little People put shoes on I went to the bathroom to paint my face a shade that didn't resemble a ghoul in my attempt to not look like an extra from "Night Of The Living Dead" (love that movie). I'm guessing I accomplished my goal as no one ran screaming from the room when we arrived.

We commence learing of the Curriculum as promised by the title of the event. I'm not really sure what I learned other than they no longer give out letter grades and that for the normal adult the tiny little kindergarten chairs become uncomfortable and nearly debilitating after 20 or so minutes of sitting in one. I couldn't really focus on the presentation after a few moments, I was mostly concentrating on trying not to cough all over the other parents around me so as to not frighten the other people in the room into thinking (rightfully so) that I was just a walking bio-hazzard.

After the open house it was off to Chick Fil'a for dinner. I had the chicken noodle soup which apparently is only to be served at mouth scalding temperatures of near molton lava. By the time that everyone had finished their food my soup was finaly cool enough to eat. By that time I had lost interest in the soup and was pineing for my bottle of green elixer of relief and blissful sleep (Nightquil). I snapped the lid on the soup and we headed home.

Currently the Little People are off to bed, K is on the sofa playing with the gerbil (no that's not a lead in to a gay joke) and I'm wondering if it is safe to take a double shot of Nightquil while waiting for that delightfull sleepy feeling to take over ensureing that whether or not my nasal passages are completly obstructed with mucus I will be blissfully unaware and will sleep like the dead.

Oh yeah, K is a comedian some days. Tonight on the way home after asking me how I felt and getting the reply of "sick" he said "You need to get some rest." Heh. I think he was serious. Ya know I'd call in if I had a back up mom to come take my place. ;o)
The Babysitter

This morning I woke in the wee hours - 3:30 am. All of my severe cold/sinus/allergy medication had finished it's work in my system and I needed another fix to make it through the night. For some reason I was wide awake though still desperately tired. Damn. I hate that. I took another hit from the bottle of soothing, comfort and whacky dreams of healing - Nightquil. I knew this was a bad idea as I would be smacking the alarm in a mere 3 hours but I needed more sleep. When the alarm buzzed at 6:30 am I was very tired.

After getting Super Girl on the school bus, Cabbage Patch and I headed home where I enlisted the aid of The Babysitter for some much needed rest. Who is The Babysitter? Why the VCR and DVD players of course. I feel a bit guilty (as well as just feeling like shit being sick) even though I needed the couple of hours of sleep that the two videos alowed me.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Tuesday Night

I'd like to take a moment to thank our sponsors TheraFlu and Nightquil for tonights post.

I haven't actually taken any Theraflu tonight, but I have been sucking that stuff down in the past couple of nights. Tonight it's exclusively Nightquil. I'm feeling pretty good right now.
Dog Humiliation

I didn't do this, D did. It's nice to know that other people enjoy humiliating their pets as much as I do.
Is It Love?

You MUST read this story.

My favorite line in the story: Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.
Are You Compatible With ME?

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!(and I'm cute!)
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
*sniffle* I'm Sick

Apparently K has okayed the government to do viral experiments on me again. I'm feeling like shit. I just want to snuggle under my covers in a Nightquil induced sleep while dreaming naughty thoughts about XXX, but alas, that is not to happen as the responsibilities of parenthood prevent me from such chemically induced bliss.

I have managed to find some partial and temporary relief in store brand non drowsiness cold/sinus/allergy medicine. The effects last from 6-8 hours not to exceed 4 doses in a 24 hour period, keep in dry place, store at room temperature... Stop using if you get nervous, dizzy or sleepless (actually the sleepless part is what I'm aiming for otherwise I'd be chugging Nightquil and snoozing all day). Now the recommended dose for an adult (which I am, regardless of how immature I may act, I still AM a big girl) is 2 tablets. Friday after dragging Cabbage Patch to the store to procure the abovementioned tablets, I took the recommended dosage. When it kicked in I felt as though I had downed the pills with three espressos. I felt better, oh yeah I felt better, fuck I swear I could feel my hair growing! I was bouncing off the walls. Since then I've keep my consumption to one tablet every 6 hours, I'm not bouncing off the walls but it sure was a breeze to get all my laundry done yesterday.