Political Picnic

Saturday of the past Labor Day weekend, we (the family) attended a political picnic at the park located next to the lake that is conveniently located within walking distance of my abode. This is the same lake that I regularly drag Cabbage Patch around despite her incessant brain shattering whining, which in turn causes people to look at me with either absolute pity or complete revulsion at what an abusive mother I could be to force my (by her choice, utterly sedentary) three year old to walk and get some fresh air and much needed exercise prompting those individuals to either ask if I have a stroller or ask if I'm a single mother and need a stroller as the idea of a child just being a prima donna whinny brat hadn't even crossed their minds. But I digress, back to the picnic.

K is quite the card carrying Democrat these days. I suppose that when he came out of the closet he was given his Gay Card and his Democrat Card all in the same day. No matter, his intense interest in something somewhat altruistic is refreshing and welcome. Everyone who attended was asked to bring something so K made a (drum roll please) three layered Jell-o mold in the shape of the United States - yes it was RED, WHITE and BLUE. We also brought a couple of bags of chips and some Cokes.

We stood in the food line with the Little People. Most items were just nasty looking or far to questionable for me to put on my plate or even suggest that my offspring do so. K, being the gastronomicly adventurous man that he is, filled his plate with the typical picnic fare which frightened and repulsed me. I settled on some hummus and pita triangles (which turned out to be hard as fucking rocks) to accompany my tepid all beef hotdog (lucky for me one of the candidates at the picnic is Jewish so I didn't have to consider mystery meat hotdogs). As we get to the table Cabbage Patch drops her hot dog on the ground which commences a race between her and her daddy to see who will pick up the hot dog first, if she got it first chances are she would bite into the dirt covered frankfurter. Luckily K got it in the trash pretty quick. I gave Cabbage Patch mine and sent K, the dutiful daddy (who had dragged us to this) to procure me a happy new hotdog. Super Girl refused to fill a plate with food during our trek through the line but as soon as we sat down she voiced her desire for food. *sigh* Once again through the line, this time with feeling. Super Girl didn't want anything but the all beef hotdog and some chips so we are in and out of the line pretty damn quick. We all sit at the table and eat our tepid dogs while being 'entertained' by the dj who was desperately trying to get the crowd excited despite the fact that he was playing awful music picked out by some 65 year old guy (Mr. DJ).

Once I finished my dog I realized that my time released super-duper strength sinus/cold/allergy tablet had no more time left on it and the mucus factory within my sinus work super efficiently to obstruct my nasal passages. This of course causes me to have a headache and feel crappy. We sat through some political speech given by a couple of candidates - I couldn't tell you what they were saying because to be quite truthful it was boring and I zoned out. Short attention span, what can I say. I considered lying and saying that I was preoccupied with herding the children into a small area on the grass near the table for them to run and play - this is not a lie, but it's not the reason I wasn't listening to the speeches. After all the talking stopped I sent K to get dessert for all of us as I figured the extra sugar for the Little People couldn't possibly make them any more hyper than they already were. K returned with cookies and brownies and then I spotted IT. The absolute most wonderful sugar coated yum-yum ever made. Frosted Animal Cookies! I recognized the bag even though it's been YEARS since I last bought (and devoured) a bag. I demanded that K get me some (all) of the cookies! He returned with a small bowl of them, the little people helped me eat them and I had to seriously control my urges to yell at them to not touch my fucking cookies, I love Frosted Animal Cookies. Mmmm the little pink and white animals with sprinkles... Absolute heaven.... *sigh* I love them almost as much as XXX.

Afterward, I was miserable and ready to go home but NOOOOOOOO the Democrats had planned a torture session especially for me. They called it 'games' for the kids, but I know better. I stood by as the Little People participated in a hoola-hoop contest - though neither of my progeny can hoola-hoop. I silently suffered as they tossed bean bags into a basket (that was moving closer and closer with each toss). The duck game was not so much suffering as it just entailed the Little People picking up a duck out of a blow up pool (no water). Each game secured the kids with a 'prize' for their participation. Prize = Crap. Yay.

Then K asked me if I wanted to meet the candidate he was so impressed with. I said yes. I chatted with the candidate and then it was time to go. I was tired, the tiny terrorists were irritating and it was getting dark. Had we not given enough already? Isn't a Jell-o mold enough??? So we left. K grabbed some spiffy political signs to prominently display in front of out town house. (Much to his delight, yesterday a woman in the area knocked on the door wanting to know where she could get signs like his. I had to call him and tell him how impressed someone was with his political decorations.)

My first political picnic. Maybe my last. The next thing is supposed to take place at a coffee house, I may attend that... Just for the coffee. ;o)