You're a vinyl/fetish corset. Grrrrowl.


What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


How funny... I've always wanted one of thoes... ;o)

Ahhhh The Joy Of Having Kids...

People who don't have kids or who's kids have not yet reached potty training age don't know about this phenomenon. Just a moment ago, Super Girl says from the bathroom "Daddy, I need your help." hehehehehe... I laugh because I know what that means. Butt wiping duty! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I had warned hubby of this as she approached potty training age (I had a preview of this with my cousin when she was 4).

(later...)
Super Girl informed us that her sister was 'poopy'. We asked Cabbage Patch if she was infact 'poopy' and she said 'No!' After a quick diaper check, I discovered that she was indeed 'poopy', so I asked Super Girl how she knew that her sister was 'poopy' and she said "Because she look like she have a marshmellow in her diaper." All I could do was laugh.

Author Blurbs

Last night after the Kosher wine buzz wore off, I was laying in bed doing some reading. On the jacket of the book is generally a blurb about the author, and it generally tells nothing at all about the author, usually mentions other writings that the author has done and includes the words 'critically aclaimed' and even 'award winning' if applicable. And they always end with a some what out of place sentence about where the author resides. I think that if I were to ever become an author (yeah that is a big if, as in IF the generally reading public's tastes dropped so low as to consider this dribble I write as something even close to literature that is) I would want my author blurb to be somewhat rediculous. Maybe read like this...

Judy is the critically aclaimed author of many rediculous blog entries about nothing of any substance or merit. Her interest include contemplating alien abductions in trailer parks and knitting tiny sweaters for mice from belly button lent. Judy lives in a constant state of confusion and occasionally vacations in Texas.

Now I'm off to work on my manifesto... I mean book... yeah book... that's what the voices said to call it..... book....

Being a parent, sometimes I say things that I can not even believe I am saying - say for instance this morning, I said

Super Girl, don't tie your baby to the stairs. We don't tie babies up, it's just wrong.

Then I have one of these flashes, kind of like a flash back, but it's more like a flash forward... maybe a warning of things to come or my maternal fears of what may happen. My daughter in her 20's the top Dom at a SMBD establishment tieing people up for fun. Hmmm... weird, but some how better than the flashes I had when she was younger and had a bad habit of stripping naked and a habit of rushing forward to do things with absolutly no fear. I had flashes of her in her 20's being a naked extreme sports star. That one still makes me shudder.

Passover Party!!

Passover went great, with a mimimum of whining and a maximum of WINE-ing. Hubby prepared for the Seder perfectly. And the meal.... mmmmmm... it was great. Super Girl was her usual picky self (ewwwww.... what's that? I'm not eating that. It looks ucky) and Cabbage Patch was her usual and ate what ever was in front of her - she even tried the horseradish! She just said 'Hot! Hot!' but kept eating it. She especially loved the matzo balls in the soup. By the end of the evening, after 4 (large) glasses of Kosher wine, hubby and I were both a bit tipsy. My favorite things was the desert. Yum yum yum. Who would have thought an unleavened cake would be so darn good. ;o) L'CHAIM!

The Common Cold

Damn... I'm sick again. With the all to common to me Common cold. I hate this. I've completly forgotten to send out Easter cards this year. Hubby was teasing me about being sick. Seems I always get sick over a holiday. I've had the flu/a cold/sore throat/strep for all the major holidays at least once. Heck I even got samonilla for vacation one year! Woohoo! (I still went on vacation even though I was in mysery most of the time). It's just not a holiday for me unless it includes Nyquil/Pepto/Imodium and me sleeping through most of it.

Passover

Tonight is Passover. I love Passover. I love cooking for Passover. I love celebrating the Seder. We've been preparing for this since last week. Last night we didn't get as much done as we needed to, I felt just awful. Hubby was kind enough to let me sleep for a long time today and he and the little people did much of the things that were to be completed last night. Now they are out, picking up lunch and the last of the things needed for tonight. I've started the roast lamb and the chicken soup (can't have passover with out Matzo ball soup!). I'm really looking forward to tonight. Super Girl is old enough now to participate and understand a little. Hubby has shortened the Haggada a bit so the little people don't get totally bored. AND I got a new Seder Plate! I ordered it off Ebay and got it on Monday - I was starting to worry that it would not be here in time.

I'm excited. Hubby's excited also - Super Girl thinks it a party - which it sort of is - She wants to wear her special dress tonight - it's pink satin, I'm not sure I'll let her, maybe on Friday if we go to church with D. I don't know if I'll be able to go to church on Sunday as I may be working. I think we might be getting together with the inlaws. I know the kids will have fun with their cousin. Going to be a busy week, but a fun one.

The Rewards Of Motherhood

My children have gifted me with something. In appreciation for all I do for them, the waffles for breakfast, the peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, the glasses of chocolate milk, the desert after dinner (even when they refuse to eat the dinner), the numerous toys that encroch on my living space, the closet bulging with cute clothing for them, the tears I dry, the diapers I change, the noses I wipe... and there in lies the issue.... the noses I wipe... My darling children have infected me with one of their infectious diseases. *sigh* I woke this morning... scratch that... I was awoken by them... and I discovered that I have a sore throat, a stuffy nose and generally feel not well. Great... the little people gave me a cold. Did I not JUST get over Anthrax (strep)??? Have I not suffered enough???? Will it EVER end???? Nevermind I know the answer to that. Enough for now, Must go suffer through another episode of Dora The Explorer while I lay on the couch and beg the little people to not distroy the house, kill each other, write on the walls, torture the cats or start a global war. *sigh*

Fish Saga

OK, I've had my big tank set up for about 2 weeks now. I added the fish after the tank had run a few days, and the very next day had to toss one. (ahhh let me take a moment to describe the adding of the fish incident. I had purchased 6 tiny gold fish and one tiny black fish from Wal-Mart. brought home my fish in a knotted plastic bag. I transferred Spike into the tank then I intended to transfer the new fish into the small tank and put them one by one into the big tank. I could not unknot the bag, I got a pair of scissors and cut the top of the bag... and the water splashed out all over, luckily most of the fish went into the small tank - I did a quick count - two had fallen on the floor, I quickly retrieved them from the floor before the cats discovered live kitty treats, then I just dumped the fish into the big tank, I had to clean up the floor and change my now wet clothes...) *sigh* Last week Super Girl decided the fish were hungry and fed them... and fed them... and fed them... there was fish food all over the bottom of the tank, the water got all murky - it was gross. I let it be for a couple of days in hopes that the filter would help out... well it didn't. Saturday I noticed that yet another of the fish was not doing so well. He was having trouble feeding and looked like he had been beat up. Dead fish swimming. Great... Super Girl had named this one Spot for the black spot on it's tail. I told hubby we needed to get gravel vacuum and a couple of new fish today after I finished work. Later I sent him and the little people off to procure these items. Cleaning the tank was just LOVELY. I have my 10-gallon tank on the bar between the living room and the kitchen. Where Spikes small tank was. I can not really reach to the bottom of the tank unless I am standing on something, like say the kitchen counter. I crawl up on the counter next to the sink, have hubby stand in the living room and we vacuum the tank together - I had the siphon end in the sink he had the vacuum end in the tank. We get it cleaner, and I clean the filter. In a couple of hours the water looks much better. The new fish that hubby had purchased are much bigger than the ones I purchased and they cost less also - but they are not as big as Spike. And Spike... well Spike does not like one of the new fish. I have noticed the top fin of one of the new fish looks nipped as well as his tail and he has a spot on him that looks like he really got smacked up. *sheesh* Spike is a bastard. He is trying to kill this new fish. I am convinced that he killed that other fish (the one from this weekend) and I know that he killed his former tank mates (though I was never able to prove it), now I think he may kill this new fish... who knows, he might kill the whole tank full of fish. Homicidal bastard fish.

Anyway, I have a new routine every morning. After I get up I count fish. Super Girl has yet to notice that 2 fish have gone on to the great fish tank in the sky - lucky for me goldfish pretty much look alike.

Hubby said that he saw something funny when he got home today, seems that we have A Pack of Wild Poodles in our neighborhood. He said he saw two poodles wandering around. hehehehe... ahhh the bizarre immages of poodle packs is quite funny.

Dry Erase Markers + Toddler + PreSchooler = Total Fucking Disaster

Hello, welcome to my world... Please have a seat, would you like a drink? Coke? Milk? Please don't mind me while I have something stronger... Would you like some Tequila also? No no don't worry about getting a glass, you can drink right from the bottle like me, the alcohol from the Tequila will kill any germs, and if not, drink enough and you won't give a shit.

So today is going pretty well, hubby let me sleep in, somehow convinced Super Girl to not wake me either, so I slept past 8 am! WOW! Got the kids dressed with minimal fussing and cleaned up the house in 45 minutes (plenty of threats to children to get them to help though) and shoved hubby out the door to go sign on with different temp agencies - damn he's got to get a job before I kill him. - I even got laundry started. So - I fed the little people lunch, my sister called, so we were chatting - it was 30 minutes until Cabbage Patch's nap time. The little people go upstairs to play in their room. about 10 minutes after they go up, I head up to check on them - they were indeed playing in their room, all was well. 10 minutes later I head back up to check on them. Both kids are in the bathroom, Cabbage Patch had a black dry erase marker from hubby's bedroom. She had marked on the sink, on the wall, on the linen closet door, on the wall in daddy's bedroom, on the carpet in daddy's bedroom, on the desk in daddy's bedroom, on the chair in daddy's bedroom, on her face, on her hands, on her legs and some marks on her pretty little white dress. Her sister, Super girl had some red marks on her face from the red dry erase marker. I took the little people down stairs to clean them up. Luckily the marker comes off baby skin easily with a baby wipe. I put Cabbage Patch down for her nap. I had a conversation with Super Girl about the marking incident, this is how it went.

ME: Did you see your sister marking on the wall?
Her: Yes.
ME: Why didn't you stop her or come get mommy?
Her: I duno.
ME: Super Girl, you are the big sister, you can't just let her do things like this. You have to stop her or get me.
Her: But I didn't do it!!!
ME: You had to do some, you have red marker all over your face.
Her: (surprised look on her face that I could figure our her involvement in the vandalization of daddy's room)
ME: You are no longer allowed to play upstairs without mommy or daddy.
Her: (resigned sigh)....(a moment later) Her look so funny, silly baby!
ME: Super Girl, it's not funny. Mommy has to clean it all up now. Go sit on the sofa.

I head upstairs to scrub the walls and the doors. Dry Erase markers are EVIL. They are even harder to clean than crayon! I scrubbed and scrubbed. I got off some of the marks. Will let hubby scrub later. He's going to be pissed. Who can blame him.

Sigh... now I need a drink. A big one.




Dry Erase Markers..........................................$6.00
Sponge........................................................$1.00
Cleaning fluid................................................$2.89
Elbow Grease to Scrub with.............................$0.00
A Few Good Stiff Drinks For Mom At nap time...... Priceless

hehehehe.... L - the guitarists for the Red Hot Chili Peppers is Flea and John Frusciante, Slash is the guitarist for Guns and Roses. And that makes it even funnier if that is the Slash that searchable interests from Livejournal.com.