Friday, March 05, 2004

Lego Me!

Go make your own lego self!
Naming IT

Why is it that men have to name IT? Why? Really someone tell me? I know not EVERY man has a name for IT but I know of more who do than who do not. Usually it's a stupid name too. Why is that? How many call it "little friend" "Love Muscle" Or "Love Rocket"? Not very original. My personal favorite 'Little Elvis'. That is so funny and cute. Of course I don't think I could EVER refer to IT as 'Little Elvis' - honestly what woman calls her partners *ahem* by THAT special name he has given it? Who really? It's all kind of silly... but 'Little Elvis', that's cute.
Choose A Better Photo!

A friend of mine was chatting with a guy on line. He was totally enamored with her and trying to impress her. He directs her to his profile pic, take a look at the pic and tell me what's wrong? If you guessed that he's using his LINE UP picture then you got the answer right! My friend was laughing hard and not making sense. I saw the profile and laughed too.

Advice for anyone online: Do NOT use your police line up photo! Even if your recent arrest photo is your most recent and most flattering, it's just a BAD IDEA!

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Bad Me

I'm such a bad girl sometimes. Bad in such a good way. 'Nuff said. XXXX really needs to live closer to me.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Stupid Small Minded People

This story irritates me so much, I'm not even sure what to say right now.

My personality is rated 33.
What is yours?
quiz by

Your score is
what does that mean?
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Skool Daze

I was thinking back to my early school years today thanks to a discussion with D. I was remembering how incredibly excited I was to start kindergarten and how on the first day my mom was there with me and how they asked me if I wanted to stay that day. I remember saying yes and then my mother left as they led me through the school, when the short tour was done I expected my mother to be there waiting for me, waiting to take me back home, but she wasn't. I was not happy, though I didn't start crying right then, I just could not believe my mother would LEAVE me at school with all those strangers! How could she do that to me??? She returned at the end of my day and I was just a little more world wise (as much as a 5 year old can be that is) and a little more skeptical of her. It all came back to me today that I disliked my kindergarten, it was a place of torment for me. It was a fancy, 'forward thinking' montessori school and I hated it. I recall having a mean boy pour the water color water on me for no reason, once my lovely painting that I had worked very hard on was swiped and many times the bigger children (read:all the other kids) would tease me or throw blocks at me. I took things very seriously - too seriously in fact. I cried a lot in kindergarten. I was such a big baby. Kindergarten SUCKED!!! Now as I consider that Super Girl starts kindergarten this year and the time looms closer and closer each day, I am filled with dread (and flash backs to a brightly colored geometric shaped hell filled with demons and torturers disguised as small children singing the alphabet song and throwing blocks at me). Eh, I got over it, I liked first grade so I guess all hope is not lost.

My very British name is Elizabeth Wilkinson.
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Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Should I Wake Her?

Oh my, I've been particularly prolific today with my writing. Cabbage Patch is taking a long nap today. Super Girl is trying hard to NOT nap but she still has to have quiet time so I'm getting some computer time that I usually don't get. I've been writing things quickly then posting, if I had realized I would have this much time to spend on the computer I would have started (and finished) a few letters that desperately need writing. Ugh. Suddenly I'm feeling like I've been wasting time. Motherhood and guilt go hand in hand. Off to do something productive and redeem myself! ;o)
Desperately Seeking Organization

One of the things that I noticed when I was having lunch with FAN (Former Arch Nemesis) was that her house was extremely organized. Right down to her kids rooms. That made me glad I had not suggested we meet at my house. Organization and my household are unfamiliar acquaintances. You see I am one who desperately WANTS organization. Everyone else in my home seeks chaos and disorder. I do what I can to keep my own little area organized – my dresser is organized with undies in the top drawer, pajamas and lingerie in the next, shirts neatly folded in one drawer, shorts below that, sweaters and seasonal velvets in their own drawer and the last drawer for miscellaneous items. My closet was at one time organized by shirt (long sleeve or shirt, silk or other) jackets, skirts, pants, dresses, etc. I even had my nearly a hundred pairs of shoes matched. I like my things in the same place every time. I like things folded the right way, put in the right place. I want to know right where to go when I need something. This is not the case in my house, my children (Chaos and Disaster) find organization a force to defeat, and this is something they get from K, their father. I believe it is a genetic thing that was passed along to them. Last night after the little people went to bed and K was out, I took the opportunity to sort and organize the down stairs toys for the little people. Barbies and Barbie accessories in the basket, electronic learning toys on the shelf, dress up clothes in the brown milk crate, baby doll clothes in the basket and other toys/dolls in the hot pink crate – doll houses on the window sill. I’ve spent most of the day (while the little people were awake that is, it’s nap time now) nagging the little people into putting away each and every toy they take out before getting the next one out. The little people didn’t like it at first but seem to have accepted this as how the day will go. To their credit they haven’t destroyed my hours of work yet, but have passively aggressively rebelled by just playing with the blocks and not anything else so as to avoid having to clean anything else up. I’m ok with that. Although I fear leaving the room to handle laundry or do dishes, as I KNOW that their innate natures of disorder will take over and in less than 10 minutes the living room floor will be covered with toys and dress up clothes like a California mudslide. Fear and paranoia, yeah I know.

I dream of a house of organization and matching furniture. I don’t know if I’m wired to have it though. Although I crave and love organization, I was not raised in it. My parental units were exceptionally disorganized and cluttered. My mother was the Queen of clutter. As such I have inherited the clutter gene and am the Grand Princess of Clutter. Sigh it’s frustrating really. I organize my kitchen cabinets, my pantry, my book shelves, I even try to organize my computer desk, yet I collect clutter. The clutter wouldn’t be such an issue if it would stay organized – meaning if tiny hands would leave it alone and not scattered through out the house at random times.

Anyway, my visit with FAN gave me inspiration to organize. I’m going to work to organize my house and toss out the things that refuse to organize (no, I’m not talking about my family, although that would definitely make organization easier! But hey, I’m always up for a challenge). Wish me luck, I’ll let you know at the end of the week if I’ve procured kennels for the other family members in my attempt to keep them from disorganizing my hard work. Heh.
I’m All For Happy Weddings!

Gay marriage, why is this such an issue? Why should gays be able to get married? I have yet to hear a reasonable argument against gay marriage. I’ve heard people say how it will destroy family values – yeah right, like all the unmarried people having babies isn’t undermining ‘traditional’ family values already (not that I’m against unmarried breeders, I’m just using it as an example), or the argument of what if they get a divorce – well so, don’t gay’s deserve to be able to go through a messy divorce just like straight couples? I mean why should they get to keep all their assets in a nasty break up? What about alimony? What about being saddled with your ex-spouse’s debts and bad financial records? Equal treatment of gays! If they share a bed they should have to share financial disaster!

But seriously, I would LOVE for gay marriage to be legal. Just think about it, gay weddings could single handedly pull this economy out of the shitter. No really, think about it! All the FABULOUS weddings! All of the glamorous affairs – all of the formal wear and catered dinners! All of the incredible floral arrangements and ice sculptures! Hell just the income alone on the catering could feed a third world country for a few years! The invitations would be flying; the postal service would have to hire double its current staff just to handle all of that! Wedding photographers would be booked for months in advance; the prime locations for receptions would be booked for a year or more ahead! And honeymoon vacation spots would be hard pressed to make enough room for guests! Think of the money circulating! Think of the tourism! Think of the parties! Gosh I would spend my weekends looking for gay weddings to crash just to see the opulent and flashy affairs. My closet would be bursting with formal dresses and matching shoes. I’d spend hours shopping for unique trinkets for perfect wedding gifts for the loving couple. Wow… what a brighter, more interesting and much more beautiful – and fashionable world it would be.

Support The Economy! Support Gay Marriage! (For my own selfish reasons, I’d get the privilege of planning a gay wedding and being the matron of honor when K found the man of his dreams.)

What Is Love?

This is something I’ve been pondering lately. I guess because I had a brief flurry of dating (which has now left me a bit sour and put off). I don’t know if I believe in ‘love at first sight’, it’s a lovely concept but I don’t know if I buy into it. Although I do know people who swear that the first time they met their significant other they knew that he/she was ‘the one’. Still I can’t help but be skeptical. Nothing like that seems to work for me. I’ve had that ‘OMG! This person is so amazing, I want to be with them forever’ (or the ‘I can see forever in your eyes’ as D would say) feeling before (Roller Coaster Man) but that never seems to be reciprocated back so I am left with genuine doubts as to ‘love at first sight’ being genuine. So it leaves me wondering what exactly that is. If not love is it just misguided obsession? With me, it’s possible – hell even probable.

Then there is the ‘Like at first sight’, this I trust much more. I can tell – like most people – if I click with someone – like me and XXXX and not like me and Mr. Asshole. I do like XXXX very, very much, if things were different… well who knows what would happen. I’m enjoying spending time with him right now; he’s an absolutely fabulous man.

Anyway all this love talk brings to mind a conversation I had with a coworker about 9 years ago. Her name was Karen, she was old enough to be my mother and we got along famously, best of buddies at work. She appreciated my spontaneous, optimistic personality and constant smile on my face. I liked that she was just as silly as me and liked to laugh (she did have the best laugh). We worked in utter hell but being able to take a break to make her laugh made it livable (mime day was one of the funniest things we ever came up with). She had been married for 26 years. One day she was talking about Charlie (her husband) and she told me how when he entered the room she still got goose bumps and butterflies in her stomach. After 26 years, still. I remember looking at her and briefly thinking she was lying, and then feeling extreme jealously. No offense to my husband but we didn’t have that kind of relationship, I just assumed people didn’t have those kind of relationships – that was Hollywood and fairy tales. Karen telling me about her love for Charlie left me wondering if I had made the right choice to marry my husband (I know I did despite all that has happened, I have two wonderful children and he is my best friend now, we make better friends than lovers). I still remember the look in her eyes when she spoke of Charlie.

And here I am almost a decade later wondering. I don’t really trust my heart in these matters. Not nearly logical enough. One needs to be logical when choosing a mate. Yet my heart is still clouding my head from time to time, and I have to admit that I don’t like it not one single bit. That’s a lie, I like some of it. I like how thinking of that person makes me smile and sigh, I like how just the sight of that person makes the butterflies in my stomach take flight, I like how in quiet still moments my mind wanders to that person and I find myself smiling and looking forward to seeing them, I like the warm feeling I get from hearing their voice… there is a lot to like about it all. But there’s enough not to like either – the out of control feeling, the queasy roller coaster feeling, the missing someone feeling and the emotions, oh the flood of emotions. Tears, elation, sadness, loneliness, giddiness, anticipation… ugh, enough already. And enough with this confused feeling as well. I need a switch somewhere that I can just turn all this off. Just have a logical physical relationship with commonalities and friendship, not the rest of this.

All of that makes it sound like I’m insane, and maybe I am. I doubt many would argue that I am not. ;o) One of my dear friends has accused me of being afraid of commitment – actually a few people have said that to me. One has suggested that I intentionally sabotage relationships and another has suggested that I intentionally seek out unavailable men so as to have a reason to not have a commitment. It seems silly, but completely possible. Except for Roller Coaster Man, he’s not unavailable – maybe he’s just an exception. I don’t know, I can’t imagine what I’d be afraid of with a commitment. Eh who knows, maybe it’s time for me to get some therapy.
Teen Angst

Recently I’ve been reading a blog of a remarkably articulate and well written 15 year old. In the most recent days he’s written about the current high school drama going on. It brought back memories of my high school days, I’m sure it would bring back memories for everyone; I think everyone had basically the same experiences in school. The drama that is going on is that one particular boy is being singled out and made fun of by some other students. The particulars of the situation don’t really matter; this is a story that has been done a million times over at every high school – well school for that matter, not just high school. Everyone has this memory. Everyone has gone through this, just taking part in different roles– as the person being ostracized, a friend of that person, the person doing the ostracizing or a friend of that person. I’ve been all of them at different times, I’m sure most people have as well. It struck me as funny, sad and ironic to read all the drama of the situation. I went to the different blogs out of curiosity to know why this boy was being singled out. No special reason really, just the usual, his personality chaps someone else. It’s funny how self absorbed teenagers are. I know they are supposed to be, so I completely excuse every one of them for it. What is different is how the internet has changed this. When I was in high school in the late 80’s we had to gossip to each other and write scathing notes, maybe even resort to graffiti to sully someone else’s image. Now teens have blogs and web pages, where they can devote pages upon pages to defaming the particular object of their ire. It’s mind boggling. I have no idea who or where any of these teens are but I know who hates who and why! I mean really! And apparently they have web rings and all so people from the school (not just close friends of the people involved in the incident) can read all about it and comment on whose side they are on – hell I could even comment on it if I cared to! Wow – talk about taking school yard spats to a new level! I can not even imagine how out of control my little pathetic life would have been back in high school with a blog where I was pouring out all my deep dark feelings and insecurities for everyone to read and comment on as they pleased. I think some things are just better left locked in diaries stashed under one’s bed.

The situation mentioned above struck me as ironic in timing since I had just had lunch with my Former Arch Nemesis. In high school we didn’t get along for any other reason than we were vying for attention from the same people. We were both extremely insecure (as all high school kids are), self absorbed (again a teen age trait) and short sighted. There was never an incident that happened, never a word that was said, just didn’t like each other so we sniped about each other behind backs. I honestly never said all that much, I spent as little time with her as I could so I didn’t really have much dirt on her – besides, I was particularly self absorbed at that time and spent most of my time discussing my current boyfriends or most recent drunken party. I can’t speak for her, I only know of one incident that happened where my best friend took up for me. No one ever told me what was said just that Mary had gotten in my Nemesis’s face and everyone thought things would come to punches. We had 4 years of disliking each other without real justification. Then last week we spent 3 hours talking and laughing. I discovered that we were quite alike in high school and still are now. She’s grown a lot as a person and I’d like to think I have also. In the time we spent talking it never came up as to what had ever happened. It really didn’t matter. Not now that I’m 32 and have two lovely children. I’m so far from high school it’s just a funny memory of fashion disasters and bad hair. I wish I could impart that to the teens mentioned above – not to take all this so seriously, it’s not a mater of life and death, and once high school is over… well all this is over too, stop wasting time on hating and fighting, savor the sweet special moments of growing up.

Ok that’s it… enough sappy crap, back to ME!
Stooopid Men

So this guy that I went out with briefly and decided that we were just not compatible - i.e. he was an amazing prick and I am way to good for him and that the thought of spending time with him while he talks at me (not to me) made me want to shoot him. Anyway, on the advice of D, A and K, I sent an e-mail (A said he didn't deserve to get anything more than just an e-mail) and I canceled a scheduled date (at least 24 hours in advance) and gently told him that I didn't want to see him anymore - we were just not clicking. He sent back an e-mail making it glaringly obvious that he's just a stupid prick and didn't take rejection well - even when it's worded nicely - and most importantly he just didn't GET what I was trying to tell him (no common interests and that I just didn't like his lack of personality). I just ignored it. That was a couple of weeks ago. Tonight he sends me an instant message echoing his last e-mail. Sheesh.. He could see I was on, so I answered him, he wanted to know why I didn't want to see him anymore. Shit, you gotta be kidding? He's wanting me to spell it out for him? WTF? He can't just take a polite 'not interested' and run with it, he WANTS me to kill his ego? Damn. I was nice though. I tell him I started seeing someone - not a lie. He starts saying how he thought that's what I wanted with him. Um... nooooooo.... We had 2 dates!!! Damn! That's not enough to start picking out china patterns from. He gets pissy from then on and tries to get me into an argument (another reason I cringed at the thought of spending time with him, when he wasn't droning on about HIMSELF he was argumentative). I didn't bite for the argument. Here is an edited excerpt from this part of the conversation: (yes I did change his screen name to reflect his true personality)

ImTheAsshole: ... Just delete me from your messanger as I will you and loose my number. I'm sorry to have known you.
judypooh: OK, whatever. I'm not going to argue with you. Think what you want if it makes you feel better.
ImTheAsshole: I deleted you please do the same. I do not want to waste my time.
ImTheAsshole: Good luck with XXXX.
judypooh: you were deleted a long time ago! Get a life.
ImTheAsshole: I have one, and not with a whore like you.
judypooh: yeah yeah, sour grapes. Your just pissed because you can't have me. Makes me even that much happier that I kicked you to the curb. Your blocked from here on out.

OK, for any guy out there who may not have realized it - calling a woman a whore when you really just want her back is NOT going to do it.

Anyway, I just felt like sharing because I'm a bitch and thought my adoring fans (all 2 of you) would be amused as much as I am. Bitch not whore.

Ahhh if only that WAS the end of the STOOOPID man file, but it's not (refer to the title of this post - men not man). It must be the weekend for men who can't take rejection - i.e. men who need a clue! And on to our next contestant...

Doc J and I were supposed to go out the first weekend of February, that's the last time I spoke to him. No biggie. I was getting tired of him, seriously tired of him. He was getting possessive. He got amazingly jealous the night I went to meet XXXX with my sister!! And DocJ and I had not even been out yet! As if! Anyway, we were supposed to go out but he never called or returned my phone calls, so I just chalked it up to good karma getting him out of my life. He calls Friday night, I tell him I'm seeing XXXX now. OMG he gets all pissed, tells me he hasn't seen anyone and has been out of town this whole time, wants to know why I haven't called, yadda, yadda, yadda, I stopped listening - all I was hearing was white noise from then on... This guy can't be wrong - ever (much like Mr. Asshole above), so he's telling me he never got my messages (not that I really care). Whatever. He started trying to put me on the spot as to whether I would stop seeing XXXX (NOT happening) so I could date him (again, NOT happening), I didn't feel like arguing (or listening to him anymore) so I just told him that when he was back in town (he's out of town for the next few weeks) and when he has time, to call me and if I was free I'd see him (read: Not going to be free for him).

What is the deal? I can't believe that I'm so 'unforgettable' that men just can't let go of it about me - if that was true then Roller Coaster man wouldn't be such a thorn in my side. I'm not the only woman in the Metroplex, these men must just be incredibly dense. Aren't I lucky to have had them find me? What are these men thinking? And why? Did either of them REALLY think that acting possessive and jealous would do the trick? I mean I like an attentive man, but there is line between attentive guy and possessive jerk. These two just took the wrong path when it came to wooing me - they choose the psycho path (yeah I know, stupid joke, made me laugh though).

And people wonder why I date married men... This is why. If this is an example of available SINGLE men who are interested in me, well that's not very encouraging. Where are the SANE SINGLE men??? Eh, no worries. I'm seeing XXXX (I really need to get a better code name for him... Although XXXX seems kind of spy-ish and cool) and I'm really happy seeing him for right now (yes he is married), I like him a LOT. If the right man comes along, then we'll see what happens, but right now I'm not looking - two strikes are enough for me (three if you count Roller Coaster man, but he's not a psycho, just inattentive and disinterested).

Update: K just got home, he thought I should have sent Mr. Asshole an e-mail telling him that what an ass he is and that my fish have more personality than him and one of them is DEAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (one is dead - more on that later)

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Arch Nemesis No Longer

I'm sure everyone has been waiting expectantly to hear about how the Brunch Of Doom (dramatic background music) went. Actually it went quite well. I got directions from her and headed out. That day was a rainy day, I drove K to work, we got caught behind a wreck for 20 minutes - making him 20 minutes late (he has the most anal boss), then after waiting for the 20 minutes the fire truck and police cars were already pulled away so we didn't even get to ogle any hot wet fire/police men. DAMN! Anyway, I was now running late so I ended up leaving at 9:30 am instead of at 9 am (I had said I would be there between 9:30 am and 10 am for brunch). So I put the little people in cute clothing... wait scratch that, I put Cabbage Patch in a cute outfit, Super Girl fought me to dress herself and ended up wearing some black velvet pants that were to small for her and a maroon shirt with another shirt over it. After 10 minutes of compelling (read: threatening) her to remove the over shirt she finally did and we left. So here I am with directions in hand and a quarter tank of gas. I figure I'll get gas on the way home since I only have 30 minutes to get there. I take the first turn, it says go to the end of the road until it dead ends then turn. So I drive, and I drive, and I drive, and I drive, and... you get the idea here right? It finally dead ends after 30 minutes of driving and guess what? It's not the right road! I turned the WRONG way onto the first road! Doh! That is sooooo like me! I always get turned around if the directions are not very explicit about exactly where to turn, etc. So I drive back... back... back... to a gas station. By now I'm 30 minutes late and my tank is very near empty. I call, explain that I'm a moron and turned the wrong way, she apologizes for giving bad directions and I explain that it's not her fault, I just get lost all the fucking time. She says she will make lunch instead of brunch and we say good bye. I head off - In the right direction this time - and we are there in 30 minutes.

The little people scamper off to play with her kids and we chat. While we are chatting Super Girl comes out of her daughters room in just her panties and some dress up clothes... Super Girl explains that they are playing dress up. I tell her to GET HER CLOTHES BACK ON! and she goes back to the room. A few minutes later Cabbage Patch comes out wearing nothing but dress up shoes! YIKES! Naked baby! I usher her back to the room and redress her and her sister. Sheesh! I was mortified.

She makes a delightful soup for us to have for lunch and PB&J sandwiches for the little people. I stay until about 1:30 pm just talking. A delightful time was had by all. I managed to get lost on the way home as well - hey I think someone changed the signs on me! I did manage to find a major road that I was familiar with and get home though. In conclusion, I can no longer refer to her as my Arch Nemesis, I supposed I could refer to her as my Former Arch Nemesis? Maybe?