If Only I Spoke Their Language

Today before I went to work I told the Tiny Terrorists two things - get dressed and DON'T EAT THE ICE CREAM! What my offspring heard was - Don't bother to change out of your Jammie's and grab a spoon, the ice cream is calling! When I came home for lunch they were still in their night shirts watching cartoons. I discovered that there had been a raid on the ice cream while I was away earning more ice cream money.

Speaking of my slaving away, I shall scream if I have to do another cake with the flag on it. Take a look.


I did all that by hand (that's a full sheet cake, serves about a hundred people), and I did it 5 freaking times! Plus all the orders for today. My hand is as sore as the hand of a 12 year old boy who just discovered masturbation.

I also did this cake.

Curious George. I hate that fucking monkey. He should be put to sleep. Him and that annoying monkey Boots off Dora the Explorer. Stupid fucking monkeys always causing trouble.

I did some others that were damn cool, but I didn't take photos because I was fucking busy and you've seen about a million Fall Leaves cakes.

Slave Labor

I've succeeded in teaching my oldest Tiny Terrorists to make me coffee. She's still young and naive, she thinks it's COOL to make my coffee in the morning. I wonder how old she has to be before I can have her make my Margaritas?

Hanukkah Planning

Note to self - Hanukkah is early this year, must start planning menu (latkepalooza!) and night with Bruce Willis. Is it too early to start PANICKING???

I HEART Lactaid

1/2 Gal of Blue Bell Neapolitan ice cream - $5.79 (Free coupon so nothing really)
1/2 Gal of store brand Reeses ice cream - $4.89 (free coupon again)
1 box of Lactaid Fast Acting - $3.69
Me eating two bowls of ice cream and not feeling like I'll puke, explode or die - FUCKING AWESOME!

Cakeness

My supervisor and I are both like zombies. Getting all these cakes done plus the regular orders and taking care of the bakery is kicking some serious ass. I'm exhausted. I'll be headed for bed very SOON.

No cake picture today, but only because I'm to fucking lazy to upload the photos. Sorry.

Terrorists Activities

Super Girl is such a 'tard some days. When I did some laundry last night I noticed that she had ripped her new camo pants (ARGGH!). This morning she wore the camo pants, I didn't even notice really since I was trying to get ready for work and shoo them out the door. Anyway, this afternoon after the terrorists return to command central (home) she lifts the back of her sweater to scratch her back and what do I see? Not just a BIG RIP in her pants but I see her shiny white ass through the rip! My progeny went COMANDO to school! Sheesh! WTF? We had to go back over the rules of what to wear to school... like PANTIES! and pants with NO HOLES in the ass! and NOT to wear the sweater that you've worn 3 times this week! Kids.

Okay, I'm off to bed.

Perspective

Some days that's all we really need, a little perspective to put things in place. A mid day chat with the best guy EVAH (Bruce Willis) helped me with that. My foul mood has lifted and things are peachy once again.
I did 6 of these for an order today. Cupcakes decorated to look like sunflowers. Very cute.
Except that's not how the customer wanted them to look... And I didn't know this until I was well into the assembly of the top cupcakes. UGH! I wasted half an hour doing that!
Damn this cake with the fall leaves is popular! I'm starting to not like it that much. The colors are a little off in this photo, but WHATEVER!

Moving on...

I guess they really like me as the cake decorator at the store. The store director told me he'd be ordering me business cards. BUSINESS CARDS! FOR ME! Legitimate BUSINESS CARDS and not goofy ass cards my sister put an obscene phrase on in Latin. Thats so cool.

There is more I want to talk about... work stuff, but... I CAN'T since it's about SOMEONE and it's WORK RELATED and that's a BAD THING to do on the INTERWEB. Just... killing... me! *sending mental telepathy to everyone reading*

20 More Done.

We finished another 20 today and have 19 more to finish tomorrow. Wow. It's been BUSY at work. I usually end up COVERED in frosting. I now know what a cupcake feels like (and I LIKE it!).

Ginger Trouble

Due to this HUGE fucking cake order, I haven't really been able to work on the gingerbread house... except for one evening of 'planning' with Bruce Wills... which was like 15 minutes of gingerbread talk and 3 hours of hanging out. It was all good. ;) I've decided I'm going to get one of those prefab kits. I want to find the Ultimate Gingerbread House Kit by Wilton, but for fucks sake I can't find where it is and I don't have time to order it off the interweb. If ANYONE knows where I can get one locally, TELL ME! Call me on my cell or text message me or something. I must get this damn thing SOON! I have one more week of working 6 days a week (actually 7 for this week) so I don't have time to go a million different places to find this thing.

And now... I'm off to bed EARLY. Cake really can be death at times.

Mid-Day Cake Fix


Home for lunch. That's all for now. Not such a good day, work is great though. Blah. Maybe if I eat one of my cakes it'll be a BETTER day.

Mushy Brain

Today I worked on part of this big ass order for 60 cakes that we have to have done by Sunday. My brain is mushy due to the sugar fumes.
Isn't that AWESOME? No, no it isn't. I hate when people combine two cakes. Sometimes it works with a birthday cake, but usually it doesn't.
Blah, kind of boring. Whatever.
5 of the 20 full sheet cakes finished today for the order of 60. Fun times.

Brain on empty. Bye-bye.

Gotta Keep 'em Separated


I only decorated 3 cakes today. One was just plain ugly. This one I actually fucked up - TWICE.


Ah if only I actually gave a shit about football I'd probably think this was COOL.


No worries, it's what the customer wants.

Cake Concerns

I've come to realize that MANY of you are just coming to this BLOG to look at CAKE! You voyeuristic people! Taking a peep at my CAKE. I should be offended but I'm not. ;) My question is, should I start a CAKE BLOG with just photos and notes of the tasty artwork I've created and save this piece of trash blog for all the usual angst, perversion and talk of masturbation that you've all come to know and love? You make the call, CAKE or DEATH? Well you know, CAKE BLOG with a cake posted EVERY DAY or just leave it here for and let you slog through all my usual minutia of my posts to get to the tasty pictures.

Gingerbread Dreams

This week is incredibly busy at work. We have an enormous order of 67 full sheet cakes that have to be done by this weekend (the order got confirmed just this morning) plus two less people in the bakery to help out and all the regular orders as well as putting all my new cakes in the display case... I'm working 6 days a week for a bit. My brain is really on over load. I can't really think past the cake I'm doing at the very moment... well that AND the ONE THING I can NOT get off my mind - doing the big display wedding cake. (I keep dreaming of doing that!) Usually my brain not working isn't an issue and no one would even notice, except I am committed to doing that GINGERBREAD HOUSE for the contest. Gah! Brain on EMPTY! Panic! Panic! Danger Will Robinson! *flailing robot arms*

Just when I think my gingerbread house entrant is going to look like a shoe box with some Twizzlers glued to it, help arrived (so to speak). The brilliant and super sexy Bruce Willis is an endless supply of fabulous ideas for a gingerbread house. Geeky, sexy and talented in the kitchen... damn I need my vibrator now. So, I'm saved on the idea front. Just have to actually assemble and decorate the house.

NON CAKE Stuff

Lately I've been playing games with K. Now don't give me that look, I'm talking about actual games, not mind games (come on people, I've already stated that my brain is on EMPTY). We played domino's a week or two ago and last night and tonight was cards. AND we've been teaching the offspring to play. It's cute and frustrating. I have no idea how my former step father had the patience to teach us to play games, much less Diplomacy at 9. Anyway, it's quite fun when I squash my intensely competitive nature. Eventually I won't feel any guilt when I beat them... kind of like how I feel when I kick K's ass. (Though he did win at hearts tonight.)

Okay, I'm off to finish my hair. Enjoy the cake pics and give me your feedback.

Dream Job

Wtf? This whole being the ONLY decorator is getting to me. Last night I was dreaming about decorating wedding cakes. Not horrible, but honestly I'd so much rather dream of molesting Bruce Willis.

No AMAZING cakes today. This is one I put in the freezer case. Pretty, nothing special though.
And here is most of what I did today. 27 cakes. That works out to 16.6 minutes to decorate each cake. Yes, yes, I know it's just MENTAL to have it worked out to how many minutes it took me to do each, but... WHATEVER!

Okay, I'm tired now. I'll blog more when my brain works again.

Damn Daylight Savings Time

After an amazing night I had to get up EARLY this morning to go to work. I ended up getting up at what I thought was 6 am but was really 5 am because I forgot about DST and setting my clock back an hour until I was sitting in front of the computer eating my breakfast and wishing I was still in bed. Then I looked at the time on my computer which seemed damn early to me. And I looked at my cell phone which said 6 something in the morning and then I looked at the microwave (because I was sleepy and nothing made sense) and I looked up the time on the web (WHAT? I just said I was SLEEPY) and THEN it dawned on me. I should still be SLEEPING! FUCK! I reset my alarm for 7 which would actually be 6 since I couldn't think enough to figure out how to reset my clock on my cell phone and went back to bed.

Getting up at the real 6 am was better but only slightly as my cat had decided she needed to perch on me and purr loudly for that 45 minutes. Damn cat.

I get to work at 7 am. During the morning I realize that I wasn't scheduled until 8 am. Fuck. I bake a cake that was ordered and then find that someone had already made the cake. Damn it. I drain the sink of water and manage to flood part of the bakery. Brilliant. I mop up the mess and manage to spill the mop bucket in a dry part of the bakery. Mutha fuck! At least I don't work in the meat market, today would have been my day to lose a finger or two on the meat slicer.

Fabulous Cake Of The Day!

Actually these are from YESTERDAY. Today's cakes weren't FABULOUS, just eh, cakes.

This is now in the display case, replacing the puppy that has been there forever.
I went back today and added whisker marks.
This was a really special cake. The person it was for was a Vietnam vet and a former Marine who is dieing. His daughter and granddaughters wanted the cake to be really nice for him. I drew the Marine emblem by hand.