Saturday, March 22, 2008

Saturday Cakes

The horseshoe shaped flowers is to go around the doll they will set on this cake.
It's to celebrate an adoption. I love the flower garland.
As promised, Dawn's baby shower cake! I was really pleased with it. Though Crystal nearly gave me a heart attack by saying that I misspelled the name! Then she said "Just kidding!" Sooooo evil.

Enjoy, I am tired I must have done eleventytwelve billion cakes today. What's up with all these March birthdays? Oh yeah, we are also closed tomorrow for Chocolate Bunny Day. I'm going to go watch Torchwood and cry about not getting a chocolate bunny tomorrow.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Some Days I Really Hate Customers

I fucked up a couple of cakes today. My mind was elsewhere. I made one cake with the wrong icing. The woman didn't notice when she picked up the cake even though the icing was WHITE whipped icing and not CHOCOLATE buttercream. She called from home to complain.

Then, a woman came in to pick up a cake she ordered.

This is the cake she pointed at and said she wanted it like, but she wanted writing on it.

I showed her this cake and said I liked the scrolls better than the dots. She agreed and said to put a bow on it not roses and use dark and light blue.

This is what I made. She forgot we discussed scrolls instead of dots but was fine with the scrolls. But the part that made me want to slap her was that she kept saying she thought it would be BIGGER. Mind you the cake she pointed at is the EXACT same size as what she got (which is an 1/8 of a sheet doubled - one layer chocolate and one white). She said that since she ordered it half and half she thought it wouldn't be stacked. Because somehow I was telepathically supposed to know that even though she pointed at a stacked cake she meant a single layer cake.

Tomorrow I make Dawn's baby shower cake - theme pirates, colors red and blue. Wait and see.

*Geeky Game Talk Alert* Last night was the Magic rematch with my sweetie Sarge. My incredible dumb luck with games shone through. Sarge asked me if I wanted to make my own deck and I said yes if it didn't take too long. He gave me a few guidelines and helped me find the color of cards and I randomly chose from that pile. Then I proceeded to defeat him twice. Granted they were not humbling defeats like I suffered during our first round but victories for me still. Now that I've told this story and have the urge to hone my deck more (ie take out the cards I can't play that I accidentally put in) I've probably just doomed my deck to continual suckage. Ah well, I will savor this victory for another hour or so.

And now... I'm done.

To all of my Catholic and Catholic-ish friends, I wish you a happy Good Friday.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Easter Offerings

CAKE of course!

White Rabbit... Go ask Alice.
Full length cupcake bunny.
Easter wouldn't be Easter without pink bunnies.
Pink bunny butt.
Easter Flowers.
Easter Flowers from the top.
Easter cake.
This is a cake I forgot to post from the other day. It's some cat from a book.
16 Random Things About Me

Shana tagged me! Ah well, that's what best friends are for.

Here’s how you play: once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 16 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 8 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment ("You’re It") and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me back, let me know when you’ve posted your blog so I can see your answers.

1. I collect cow things and cow spotted things.
2. At one time I had over 200 stuffed cows.
3. I'm 5' 1.5" and I only realized that in the last couple of years - I thought I was 5'3" up until that rude awakening.
4. My ex is gay.
5. Yes he is the father of our kids.
6. The 'How?', well I am that good.
7. I own over the legal limit for vibrators.
8. I don't like things turning out to be an odd number. I have to have things in even numbers. K used to like to make me crazy by giving me 3 cookies.
9. I lost my virginity one month to the day before I turned 15.
10. It only took 15 minutes. He needed to learn what FOREPLAY was. Stupid Aggie!
11. I rarely watch television.
12. I want to lose 65 lbs this year. But realistically 30 would make me satisfied.
13. I vacillate between being completely insecure and being totally self confident.
14. I've never cheated even though I've been cheated on a lot.
15. I'm far too forgiving.
16. I'm an artist yet I often have trouble telling people that because I think my art work is shitty compared to many people.

Okay, that's done. I'm not tagging anyone. I just got off work and I really don't feel like running after anyone. Just do it if you want. ;)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Just Make It STOP!

I mean the puking. I THOUGHT we had kicked the plague, but apparently I didn't realize Cousin Ebola was going to make a visit. 7:30 am Cabbage Patch came into my room to tell me her stomach hurt and promptly went Exorcist all in my bathroom. *sigh* She's been fine all day, but still she had to play the Southern Belle for part of the day.

Nothing else has happened today. Which is a shame because I erroneous thought I'd be able to catch up on some much needed things. HAH! Not so. Today the offspring were hell bent on NOT doing anything I asked them to do. Even when threatened. I resigned myself to only THINK about selling them on E-Bay and to watch crappy cartoons all day.

Tomorrow I'll be more interesting. I promise.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Unproductive Tuesday

My goodness I'm tired and I don't feel like I've really accomplished crap today. I even worked extra for an hour and a half. I think it's the rain. And SPRING BREAK. Damn that combo.

The only good thing about the combo is that Cabbage Patch is still clinging to her Southern Belle act of watching TV from my bed whilst parlaying a headache (which conveniently only emerges at the mention of work). Normally this wouldn't fly as they are only allowed 1 hour of television during the week days, but it's Spring Break, it's RAINING and for fucks sake the last thing I want to hear is the Tiny Terrorists fighting over who's singing the wrong words to the Scooby Doo theme song or who's going to get the latest and greatest (not so much) toy they see advertised (hint: neither of them).

Of course last night I was unpleasantly surprised by my discovery of not one but two halve eaten pieces of toast in my bed. Lovingly discarded by my very own progeny. Today I had a discussion with her that went like this, "Hey, ya know what I found in my bed last night?" "What?" "I found two half eaten pieces of toast." "oh." "Don't do that again. Do you hear me?" "I'm sorry mamma."

Moving on...

I did about 30 different Easter cakes today. Most of them small cakes, but some were bunny cakes and some were actually big chocolate chip cookies and not really cakes at all. I'm taking this as a sign that the whole Egg and Bunny holiday is approaching. Yay pagan holiday symbols made out of chocolate! Sorry, sorry, really I'm not making fun of the Christian holiday. I do love me some Easter chocolate though. Hey, I can't help it, I'm Jewish and all my holidays are about eating or not eating. I only wish we had one that was chocolate themed. Eight days of Chanukah but goodness who can handle eating latkes for eight freaking days? Certainly not I, and I think I'd have a heart attack by day 5 if I ate that much fried potatoes. Passover ushers in the 'Feast of Unleavened Bread' which just goes to show how very sarcastic Jews really are because honestly NO ONE can call matzo a 'FEAST'. And after a whole week of it, damn it's not feast, it really should involve little chocolates shaped like... one of the ten plagues or something like that. Hmmm... maybe not.

So tomorrows my day off and I'm hoping that I can distract the offspring enough to allow me to get some shit done. Or possibly a movie with the kids.

Wanna see some CAKE now? Of course you do!

This is the pretty pink and brown one I forgot to take photos of the other day. I know, I know, it's been done. It's still pretty and it's SOLD.
I LOVE this! The bunny lay on reminded me of the Happy Bunny. I had to fight the mighty temptation to put a caption on the bunny saying "Your pagan holiday symbols are funny." but I didn't. I wanted to, still do.
And... the BUNNY CAKE!
That's covered in coconut and airbrushed pink.
Damn cute, but too damn much work.

How your rainy Tuesday was delightful.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Plague Has Left The Building!

It appears that everyone in Casa de Karmically Challenged has recovered from the plague. I did what I could to bring you all the high points of the illness via the internet. Think of me as your Virtual Plague Rat. ;) I kid, I kid. I'm sure at least one of the three of you who actually read this crap wondered why the hell I'd blog whilst suffering such illness and I have an answer for you. I am insane. Completely and utterly. No really, that's not it. No REALLY it's NOT. Sheesh. No the real reason is NaBloPoMo. No that's not an illness - dude really, stop trying to blame it on my shaky mental stability - it's... eh... click the damn link and go read about it. The short version - I'm posting EVERY DAY for the month of MARCH. Woohoo! Isn't that EXCITING! EVERY DAY a little piece of ME! It's like having me as one of those voices in your head. What? You don't have voices in your head? Yeah... me either... moving on.

So like I was saying - recovery is complete here. No one has puked in over 24 hours. This is a good thing. Though I can see how this is a useful diet aid for the super models (5 lbs in 2 days), it's rather inconvenient and somewhat uncomfortable. I'll stick with my current method, which thanks for asking, is working rather well for me and I've lost 26 lbs (I'm not counting the 5 lost from the plague, I know they'll reappear like magic as soon as I finish this glass of water) since July. Of course now that I've just mentioned this to you internet, it'll mean that I'll gain 30 lbs in the next 2 weeks.

So the Tiny Terrorists are well, though Cabbage Patch is still rather DRAMATIC. As she has taken a liking to lying in my bed and watching television like some Southern Belle. In order to have a legitimate claim to the position she claims to have a 'headache' which mysteriously vanished when she went to play outside today and reappeared when I asked for help in the kitchen tonight. It's bullshit, but ya know, it's kind of cute bullshit AND since the girls are in different rooms, they aren't arguing! And THAT my friends makes her Southern Belle act worth tolerating. Let's just hope she doesn't start fake fainting. ;)

So yeah, jumping to something completely different now... Scarby starts soon and I'm not sure I have anything to wear now that I've lost 26 lbs. I guess it really shouldn't matter since now that I'll be working on paying that $1660 to Satan and his minions... er.. TX Dept. of Public Service, I'm not going to be able to make it to Scarby more than maybe twice. Still, I want to go in garb and damn I'm not sure if my favorite red corset fits anymore - when I made it a few years ago it laced all the way closed and I was 10 lbs heavier than I am now. My pretty gold side lacing corset, well my darling offspring spilt white paint on it so.... it's ruined and that kind of pisses me off, leaving me just my green and black corset. The real problem is that I can't find ANY of my corsets. None AT ALL. I can't remember where I put them. I didn't wear any except the red one last year (to TRF) one time and for the life of me I can't remember where the others are. I know, I know, this is stupid because I sew and can just make another one... except... the boning, I have none and it costs $$ which for some reason I've now become a money sieve and my wallet hemorrages money every time I get paid. Bah, whatever... moving on.

That HORROR of the season has started. The dreaded SPRING BREAK has started. And you know what that means... The Tiny Terrorists will be BORED and I'll really consider selling them on e-Bay. No not really, I wouldn't risk the negative feedback. How I HATE Spring Break and trying to find SOMETHING to occupy the offspring. A whole week of ENTERTAINING them. WTF? Who came up with this shitty idea? Someone with OUT kids that's who! My only bright spot is Wednesday, my day off, when I plan to take the progeny to the movies. I'm going to see of my sweetie Sarge will let his guys join us for the movie, lunch, then some feeding of ducks at the park.

And now CAKE! I know you internet, you just come for the CAKE. That's why I put it at the END.

Chocolate buttercream icing. mmmmmm... Not the usual and the pastel flowers look odd against it, but I'm sure it was TASTY.

Oh yeah, Happy St. Pat's Day also.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Just Because I Love This

Humorous Pictures
see more crazy cat pics
The House of Bio-Hazard

That would be here. As I make my recovery the Tiny Terrorists have be stricken with this viral menace. 4 am this morning I was woken by Super Girl telling me her stomach hurt. I let her crawl into bed with me which did not last long as the had to hop out of bed (at my insistence) to go throw up. Like eleventeenmillion times. I felt so horribly helpless as I told her I could do nothing for her and that it would pass.

At 6 am I went to the kitchen to get Super Girl and myself some flat 7-up and discovered Cabbage Patch laying on the sofa moaning about her stomach hurting. Oh dear, and I had just been thanking my lucky stars that she wasn't sick also.

Now it's nearing noon and both offspring are finally asleep to the sounds of Tom & Jerry. I've spent all morning going from the living room to comfort one to my bedroom to comfort the other.

And here I was wondering what they'd be doing for Spring Break - Puking! Woohoo!

Moving on...

Prior to everyone with a set of ovaries in this house being struck down with the plague, I had a lovely and quite delightful time with Super Girl last night. She found an old story book that I used to read to her when she was a wee baby. It's actually a VERY old book and has several stories in it. The first one being one of my favorites as I completely identify with the main character The Little Red Hen. Yes I am that hen. (I was totally going to link to the story but none that I've googled are THE story that's in my book, which I have to say I like much better than these random ones that have just popped up.) Here is the plot summary as given by Wikipedia:

In the tale, the little red hen finds a grain of wheat, and asks for help from the other farmyard animals to plant it. No animal is willing to help. When the wheat matures, she asks for help to harvest it, then thresh it, then mill it, and finally bake the flour into bread. At each stage she gets no volunteers. Finally she asks who will help her eat the bread. All the previous non-participants eagerly volunteer, but she declines their help and eats it with her chicks, leaving none for others.

That's not exactly how my version is, Red lives with a lazy cat, a lazy rat and a lazy mouse. One day she decides to make a cake and asks for help with things (as usual) and no one will help her (as usual) until of course it's all baked and iced and ready to eat then everyone is more than willing to help. Red gets a little cranky and tells them to fuck them selves that she'll eat the damn cake by herself. Right then a fox sticks his head in the kitchen window and scares everyone into hiding except Red who tries to fend off the damn fox by herself but instead gets stuffed into a sack for the fox to take home and feed to his kits. (What a family friendly story!) Red out wits the fox and escapes. Back at home the cowardly lot of them comes out when they realize Red is back and they make a bunch of false promises about helping and all that. Red forgives them and they all share the cake. The END.

Trying to make a point (albeit rather heavy handedly) I said to Super Girl "I am the Little Red Hen, K is the Cat, you are the Rat and sister is the Mouse." Before I could say more she quips "But who is the Fox?" Hmmm... talk about missing a point.

And now for something really odd...

Further in the book is this bizarre story "The Old Woman And Her Pig". Go read that for something really fucked up. At one point I stopped reading to Super Girl and said "This is so strange." I can't imagine any children's story being published today that talked about beating a dog with a stick... or hanging a butcher with a rope! This book was published back in 1950, back when it was quaint to tell children stories that involve torture and threats of bodily harm. This book is definitely a keeper, I'll have to keep this tucked away so I can psychologically damage my grandchildren someday. That is only if they haven't come out with a nice pop-up story book of Abu Ghraib prison by then.

Off to nap with the sick children. Have a great day.