Friday, October 17, 2003

Living On The Edge

Well if you think getting a tattoo is 'walking on the wild side' just read this. Today me and the little ones got a bath. I realized I needed to shave my legs - I sometimes meet my sancho on Friday nights. There's nothing more dangerous than holding a razor to your freshly washed skin while two hyper children splash around you. So here I was all soaped up, snapping at the little people to be still while I attempted to remove unwanted hair from my body - and just between you and I, that's a lot of hair. I don't really like to shave in the tub, although the tub is more convenient for some areas than others but I still don't really like it. Shaving in the shower is better but more rushed as we don't have a large hot water tank - that's always special, shaving one leg in the nice hot water then rushing to finish the other before I get goose bumps, and don't even think of shaving the pubes in a cold shower! And the worst part of shaving - in the tub with kids or rushed in the shower is when you miss a part and end up with a mohawk up the side of one leg. I mean other areas of the body can be hidden or hell you can just pretend you meant to make it that shape, but not your leg. So there I was taking my life in my own hands, trying to shave with the kids bumping me. Somehow I did manage to get it done with no blood loss and I seem to have gotten all the unsightly hair as well. *sigh* the things I do to make a booty call.
You are Form 4, Gargoyle: The Fallen.

"And The Gargoyle mended his wings from the
blood of the fallen so he could rise up from
imprisonment. With great speed and
resourcefulness, Gargoyle made the world his
for the taking."

Some examples of the Gargoyle Form are Daedalus
(Greek) and Mary Magdalene (Christian).
The Gargoyle is associated with the concept of
success, the number 4, and the element of wood.
His sign is the new moon.

As a member of Form 4, you are a creative and
resourceful individual. You are always
thinking of possible solutions to problems you
face and you generally choose one that is
right. Much of your success comes from your
ability to look at things a little differently
than everyone else. Gargoyles are the best
friends to have because they don't always take
things for face value.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn the internet rocks! Where else can you get an At-Home DNA Paternity Testing Kit!

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Activism Gone Too Far...

Let me explain this... The sticker above says 'Cruelty Free Circus'. Last week I got a bunch of materials (including the above stickers) for a group that protests circus' as cruel to animals. I'm actually torn as to whether to support an organization like this or enjoy the circus. I really do think that circus' and other types of entertainment venues that force animals to perform are cruel, I'm not even all that keen on zoos... But I have to admit I do love to see the circus and the zoo. So I'm a hypocritical animal rights protester. Anyway, the little people have LOVED the info from the anti-circus people - especially the stickers! Tonight after the little people were off to bed, hubby said "Judy... Look at your cat." I did. The laughter was great. I told him to put the cat down for now, I had to get a picture before we pulled that off. Notice the pissy cat expression. Lucky for Sunshine the sticker came off pretty easily - one swift yank by me, and since she has been getting her winter coat in, she didn't really loose a noticeable amount of fur. And the lesson for tonight... Cats are NOT a good place for a bumper sticker!

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Permanent Art

About a month ago a dear friend of mine told me she and her husband were considering getting tattoos. He would get the redneck special - a rebel flag with her name and she would get one that featured his name (her's would be very small as opposed to his which would start with the flag on his left arm and end with the fluttering edge on his right arm - very tasteful). I've always considered getting inked but I've never been able to pin down exactly what I would want to put on myself for the rest of my life. I pretty much nixed anything like my husband or lover's name as one never knows if anything like that really would last - also my step mother has her ex husband's name (BUD) on her arm and I know for a fact she regrets that since she and he got divorced about 22 or 23 years ago! My dad has his nick name on his forearm - Ed - I think that's just stupid. My brother has Multiple tattoos - one being his last name in script on his back (9 letters - I'm actually surprised they had enough room on the scrawny boy. His brother-in-law went with him and was impressed that he sat there for all that time and never shed a tear) - No way in hell would I consider my last name (past or present or even future). I had said since having children that if I ever got anything permanent it would be something symbolic of my children - like a sun rise and a moon setting. Anyway when my friend was over talking about the tattoo thing I said something about that, hubby walked into the conversation as my friend stepped out for a moment and he laughed, when my friend came back in I mentioned the sun and the moon thing (hubby went upstairs for a moment) and my friend said "You would have to get them done like tarot cards, the Sun, The Moon and The Empress (me)". For the FIRST time ever getting inked sounded like a really cool idea. So now I'm thinking of how I'd want the cards to look - I already know where I'd get the tattoo - on my lower back. I know - it sounds wacky, but I'm just thinking.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Incoherent Ramblings

Yesterday my hot, hunky, super sexy (imaginary) boyfriend Antonio whisked me off in his private plane to spend the day with him down at the beach. We walked on the beach and ate lobster and drank expensive wine for lunch at this quaint little restaurant. We discussed where to spend our vacation between interruptions by calls from his business associates. Gosh I hate cell phones in times like these. I finally persuaded him to turn off his cell phone in the afternoon - I reasoned that we had to head back around 6 pm since he had a dinner meeting at 7 pm and I had to pick up my kids from the nanny. We dipped our toes in the gulf one more time before jetting back up here. It was delightful.

OK, REALLY... I went to my sisters house to hang out.

*Little break from my rambling - hubby just headed up to bed after doing the dishes, he called me to come upstairs. In front of his room was our oldest asleep on the floor. It was very cute. He picked her up and put her back in bed.

I left her house with just enough time to go by the gas station and get some gas before picking up hubby from work right at 5 pm. I drive into Dallas and pull off the freeway to get gas. As I sit at the pump and dig through my purse which my two children have recently rearranged by taking the contents out of my wallet and dumping into my purse, I realized that I do NOT have my bank card in my purse, so I can NOT get gas here. I express my displeasure to the little people and drive to the nearest grocery store praying that I have enough gas to get me there. In the store I remember that the 13th was Columbus Day and the instore bank will be closed like every other bank - this all comes to me as I stare blankly at the mesh gate pulled down infront of the bank counter. *sigh* Well I need milk anyway. We quickly walk toward the milk area but I get side tracked as I see WINE. Ahhhhh yes! We are in Dallas and THAT means I can BUY WINE! (I live in a dry area) A detour down the wine area, two bottles of cheap wine, back to the milk area then off to check out. I briefly wonder what the checker thinks as I place my two bottles of wine and two gallons of milk on the counter. (yeah and if she had given me a dirty look I probably would have said "What? I got to have something to drink too!") I write a check for my beverages and write it for $15 over so I can fill my tank. Off to the gas station. My car is filled with $13. When I get back in the car after paying I see that Super Girl has something, I ask what it is, we negotiate briefly and I discover she has a container of gum... A container of gum she STOLE from the store. I'm crushed. My initial urge is to go back to the store and make her pay for the gum and apologize for stealing it but I'm now late and in dire fear of getting caught in rush hour traffic. Super Girl is chastised, we zip off to get hubby, he's not to irritated that we are 20 minutes late thankfully. As we are bringing in stuff from the trunk (D gave me LOTS of things to take with me) some of the neighbor kids are hanging around. One little boy maybe 7 or 8 insists on telling me that his brother likes my daughter. This makes me want to giggle. Super Girl has an admirer. Hubby gives some of the local kids a few of the candy bars that are in the box of things and instantly makes friends with them. I made pizza for dinner while hubby explained to Super Girl why stealing is BAD. The kids went to bed without a fuss and hubby and I headed off to bed early (for us) as we were both just beat. About midnight I woke and saw a light under my door. I wondered if I had forgotten to turn off my fish tank light and got up. The kitchen light was on and Super Girl was coming out of the kitchen. I asked her why she was out of bed, she said something about wanting to sleep with me then said she was thirsty. I let her have a couple of sips of the milk she had just poured and took her back to bed with me - which means I didn't get all that much sleep. Sleeping with a wiggly 4 year old can NEVER be described as restful (on a side note when I was a little kid and we would visit our great grand mother she would always have us sleep with her, and she would be up at the crack of dawn making breakfast the next morning - I always wondered how she could do that with out an alarm clock... Well now I know...) This morning I discovered my fish food by the fish tank and food scattered on the tank cover so apparently super girl had tried to feed the fish as well as get a drink.

Off to bed now... tired... have to do laundry tomorrow... I mean I have to spend the day with Antonio... ;o)

Monday, October 13, 2003

It's All About Me Baby!

Copied from L. ;o)

Name Four Bad/Weird Habits You Have:
I laugh way to loud, I obsess over my goldfish, must eat M&M's in color matched pairs, I won't do the dishes if it's not 'my turn'.

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
All the money I would ever need, A beautiful new house, A beautiful new horse, The perfect pair of RED shoes.

Name Four Scents You Love:
Roses, chocolate, freshly baked bread, citrus

Name Four People That Know You the Best:
My sister, my husband, my cat and Antonio My beloved

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
Leg warmers, tube top, a pocket protector and a concert t-shirt for Eniem/Britney Spears/Christina Agulara/Back Street Boys/Etc.

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
Is it too early to have some of the cheap wine I just bought?, I wonder which of the two cheap wines would taste better?, Awww... Damn hubby is snoozing on the couch - that's what I was going to do!, Is it too early to have some of the cheap whine I just bought?

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
Bought wine at the same time I got milk for the kids, Wondered if the checker person thought I was a lush, filled the car up for $13 and picked up hubby 20 minutes late.

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
2 bottles of cheap wine, gas, milk

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
Water, cheap wine - just kidding that's an occasional treat!, Coke, Iced tea, water

First Grade Teacher's Name?
hmmm... Not sure, she had dark hair and she snickered when my undies fell down (I'll tell you about that later)

Last Words You Said?

Last Song You Sang?
Not sure the title but it's a nickel Back song "Someday some how, gonna make it alright but not right now..." are some of the words.

Last Person You Hugged?
My two year old

Last Thing You Laughed At?
My husbands snarky comment about how my family's problem is that they all have horrible swirling black holes in place of their hearts because they are pure EVIL!!!! heh!

Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?
10 minutes ago when Cabbage Patch was saying it to me.

Last Time You Cried?
Today after I got gas and realized that Super Girl had stolen some bubble gum from the grocery store.

What's In Your CD Player?
An older Everclear CD ...Scratch that - Bare Naked Ladies marooned - I just went to check the title on the Everclear CD and see that hubby put in BNR.

What Color Socks Are You Wearing?
Bare feet - I rarely wear socks

What's Under Your Bed?
Dust, papers, kids toys, lost socks and probably a lazy cat

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
6:30 AM.

Current Taste?
ummm... What? What am I tasting now? The acidic taste of a not quite cold enough Coke.

Current Hair?
Fabulous! Long, Red, Curly - totally enviable! Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... Hate me because I'm shallow and vain. ;o)

Current Clothes?
White tank top and maroon linen shorts

Current Annoyance?
My family (not including D)

Current Longing?
World Peace, economic stability, environmental repair.... nah... Really good sex and some cheap wine.

Current Worry?
That my cheap wine will suck and my lover won't (think about it... it will come to you...)

Current Hate?
Liars, bad wine and bad sex - especially if all at the same time.

Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex?
Sexy eyes, nice chest, good ass and a nice sack of groceries (don't make me explain that)

Favorite Place To Be?
hmmm.... Anywhere I'm having fun.

Least Favorite Place?
In the court house waiting to see the judge.
Just Thinking...

I started thinking tonight about my imaginary boyfriend (IBF) and I guess my totally neurotic side of me started to worry that someone might think I was SERIOUS about this IBF - as if I TRULY intended to fool people into thinking I had some fabulous hunky sex machine, or worse people might think that I might actually BELIEVE that I have a fabulous hunky sex machine boyfriend. Or the ABSOLUTE worst, that people might think that I'm so freaking desperate for male companionship that I would get an IBF to make me feel worthwhile. Let me just get this in the open, IBF is just a joke. I never have nor ever will pretend to be in a relationship (although there were plenty of times I've pretended to NOT be in a relationship when I really was). I'm not desperately seeking male companionship - I have a husband (a gay one) and I have a sancho, I currently don't have a boyfriend and I'm not really sure I want one right now (maybe I want a girlfriend... Just teasing). IBF is for entertainment purposes only (hell I'll probably break up with him right after we return from our virtual vacation).

Why do I bring this up? Well I think a lot on the way to and from work - I have a 20 minute drive and there's not much traffic. I started thinking about IBF and then it struck me that I knew people who had IBFs - hell in my own family even! And all of them had some things in common - they were all delusional about this relationship, they all thought people believed them completely and everyone saw them as pathetic. Let me illustrate, I worked with this one woman, I'll call her Dora, Dora was in her mid 20's and had never had a boyfriend or a date. Dora wasn't ugly or deformed or anything like that - she was actually quite pretty, a little heavy, and she was generally depressed and fundamentally religious. When I first met Dora she was very mater of fact about the never had a boyfriend or a date thing, some time later she started talking about this man who was in one of her singles bible study classes, a few months later she became somewhat obsessed with this man and would talk about him constantly, within 6 months he started dating someone seriously and she was crushed as by this time she had decided in her mind that he and she had been dating, within a month she had decided that they had been boyfriend and girlfriend and she was very distraught over their 'break up', by the time he was engaged to his real girlfriend Dora was near to having a nervous break down. It was all quite sad.

The family member with the IBF was really bad about this. I remember as a child her saying how a certain local television newcaster was her lover but that he just wouldn't leave his bitch wife - she obsessed over this man for years and even named one of her cats after him (I hated that cat). Another time she spoke of a young man who worked at a book store as her lover - maybe, it's possible, but my sister and I seriously doubt it as she was old enough to be his grandmother. Then the one my sister and I laugh about the most, she talked at one time of having a relationship with a man my sister and I knew was quite openly GAY. Through the years she has maintained that she has had relationships with everyone from the president of the united states to Army big-wigs yet NO ONE can verify that she has had a date in the past 25 - 30 years. It's disturbing really.

Anyway, keep in mind that IBF is just a joke for me. I don't need anyone organizing an 'intervention' for me or for people to start sending me bottles of anti-depressants.