Saturday, January 24, 2004

Smooth Move...

Today I had one of those moments today that was utterly poetic. I went into the room for my 1:30 pm appointment. The mom was a bit on the bitchy side and for some reason was acting like a bit of a tight-ass. Luckily the baby was dressed and ready as the grandmothers were in the room and they started hovering over what I was doing as soon as I entered the room. The mom and the grandmas were making making me uptight. I get the information and start taking pictures. After the pictures everyone is crowded around my picture cart and I turn to look at something and when I do my elbow knocks something over behind me - I look - a big bottle of chocolate milk - I just spilled a big bottle of chocolate milk on the mom's tray and on some photos that were sitting on the tray. Shit. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, I can NOT believe I just did that. The grandmas scramble to clean everything up as the parents look at the photos. I figure that such a brilliant fuck up will mean that they will NOT buy photos, but I'm wrong, they buy a nice size package and I'm relieved to be out of their room so I can have my anxiety attack in peace and quiet. All I can think as I leave is "smooth move Ex-lax". Later I can not stop laughing as I remember the look on the mom's face (something between utter suprised and homicidal rage) after I spilled that chocolate milk. hehehe.... I'm such a klutz.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Roller Coaster Ride

It's official, I'm crazy. Truly insane. Men are driving me there. One especially. He's not even my type, BC set me up on a semi-blind date. He's sweet and kind and gentle...and... and... Driving me nuts. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. That feeling like when one is a teenager in high school falling in and out of love at the drop of a hat. I hate it. I love it. I hate it. I don't like being a slave to my emotional state. I'm trying to do the Vulcan thing and be logical and rational but I can't, I'm a Klingon at heart (yeah I know totally geeky Star Trek reference). I'm acting like a high school kid as well, I keep asking BC if he's mentioned me. Stupid. This guy is not even one of the men mentioned below! I haven't written about him because I just didn't even know what to say - I'm on this damn roller coaster all the time. One time I'm sitting here and it's like I'm on the car going up the hill, next thing I know it I'm feeling that feeling in my stomach like I'm on the way down a big hill. It's crazy. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe I have food poisoning.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Gummy Link

Gummy Bear Sex Yet another reason to NEVER eat Gummy Bears again.
Voodoo Kids

I think I need to worry about the little people. They got some of my sewing pins and turned one of their dolls into a voodoo doll.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Hard Candy

I know you really can't tell what that is a picture of - so let me tell you.

Last week as I was taking a load of laundry out of the washing to put in the dryer when suddenly I see this red thing (pictured above) in the bottom of the washer. I removed said red thing and what do I discover it is - a red Gummy Bear! It made it all the way through the wash in relatively good shape. I was stunned. Especially since the last time the little people had Gummy Bears was the last time we took them to the movies, which was months and months ago... Makes me wonder just how many washings this bear has made it through... And definitely made me swear off Gummy Bears... ewww....
Word Of The Day
From Merriam-Webster OnLine

The Word of the Day for January 19 is:

scupper • \SKUP-er\ • verb
British : to defeat or put an end to : do in

Example sentence:
"In the Netherlands two years ago, schemes to introduce toll booths around Amsterdam . . . were eventually scuppered by a campaign led by the leading Dutch drivers' organisation." (Prospect, March 2003)

Did you know?
All efforts to figure out where this verb came from have been defeated, including attempts to connect it to the noun "scupper," a 500-year-old word for a drain opening in the side of a ship. (The main conjecture, largely unfounded, is that a ship is "scuppered" when its scuppers are submerged . . . in other words, when it is sinking or "done in.") All we know for sure is that "scupper" meant "to ambush and massacre" in 19th-century military slang. Then, just before the century turned, it found its place in a magazine story in the sense of simply "doing (someone) in." The more common modern application to things rather than people being done in or defeated didn’t appear until a couple of decades into the 20th century.

Now, go out and use that word today... it will be worth it to see the look on people's faces when they hear it.