Friday, August 11, 2006

Birthday Flowers!

Aren't they lovely?!?!?!?!?! Thank you Sable! They made my day... even though I didn't have pants on when the Fed Ex guy banged on my door. So far this is the thrid time I've had a delivery guy banging on my door and I've been sans pants. What? Don't tell me I'm supposed to be wearing pants all the time. Even when I'm cleaning? I don't think I can vacuum with pants on. That's just crazy talk. Anyway... I love them! Birthday flowers rock.
Current mood: happy

It's after midnight, so it's now my BIRTHDAY! Woohoo!

Feel free to call me or leave a comment! No pressies necessary, just birthday wishes!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Sellin’ Pussy!

My youngest has an armload of stuffed cats and just asked me if I’d like to buy one. I asked her if she’s a cat sales man and she said yes. My 5 year old is selling pussy, what is this world coming to.
(idea swiped from La SEG – what are best friends for though?)


What is your salad dressing of choice?
It totally depends on my mood. A good Greek vinaigrette is fabulous, but other times it must be blue cheese or maybe ranch or possibly a tangy Italian.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Taco Bell

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Again, it totally depends on my mood! I love Alfredos for tasty (and cheap) Italian. The Melting Pot is so good and so much fun. Lawry’s has some AMAZING prime rib and damn I do love a good rare piece of meat! (heh, heh, meat, I said I like MEAT.) I could list at least 10 restaurants here so I’ll just stop now.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
I don’t know, I’m kind of a bad tipper because I’m bad with math.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with tomatoes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM.

Name three foods you detest above all others.
Thousand Island dressing (looks like puke people!), bell peppers and raw onions.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Mushroom, extra cheese and chicken.

What do you like to put on your toast?
I rarely ever eat toast. If I did I suppose it would be something hot and tasty, but he might say that was scratchy and complain. ;)

What is your favorite type of gum?
I don’t chew gum.


Number of contacts in your cell phone?
Fuck if I know, a lot.

Number of contacts in your email address book?
Again, I have no idea. Are you stalking me?

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A picture from Scarby.

What is your screensaver on your computer?
Don’t have one.

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
Oh yeah.

How many land line phones do you have in your house?

How many televisions are in your house?
2 though one is never watched.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
The bread maker.

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
I really only listen to the radio in the car and it’s whatever isn’t playing a commercial or talking. I just want music. I listen to internet radio or dl’d music at home when I’m not listening to my progeny try to kill each other or torture the cats.

How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?
Dear gawd, I think you are stalking me. I have about 7… which may be over the legal limit for TX – what can I say, I like variety.


What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
Just one? I have lovely hair and pretty eyes.

Are you right handed or left handed?
I'm a righty.

Do you like your smile?
ALL the TIME! Even when I was really self conscious about my braces I smiled a lot.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
My gallbladder. They said I’d never miss it… except emotionally.

Would you like to get something removed?
My cold black heart. Kidding. Lipo to remove some fat.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
Dude, I have two kids. If I didn’t read in the bathroom I’d never ever have time to read.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
ummm… touch maybe. May I touch you?

When was the last time you had a cavity?
Hmmmm... I can’t remember, maybe in high school.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
ME! I can do two sets of wimpy girl push ups, but I’m proud of that.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?


If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nope. That would just make me worry a lot.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Nope, it’s a stupid name but I’m used to it.

How do you express your artistic side?
I draw, I paint, I sew, I dress people’s dogs up in clothes… it’s in everything I do.

What color do you think you look best in?
Camo! And black. ;)

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
Eh, is it really any different from being stuck at home with two kids?

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Yes. No comment…

If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well actually I do have a few really hot cousins, but we aren’t related by blood so I guess I still could tap that if I got them drunk enough. ;)

How often do you go to church?
Not often enough to alleviate my guilt.

Have you ever saved someones life?

Has someone ever saved yours?
Yes, a police officer.


Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Dude, really… all you’d have to do is get me drunk enough and I would do it.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Yes! I did it for free this past Saturday – where’s my $100???

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Depends on if I was put under when they did it or not. Hehe… not really, fuck you, I like my fingers!

Would you never blog again for $50,000?
hmmmm not sure. I like to blog.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Sure, I’d have to approve the photos and ask for a LOT of editing and shading, etc. be done. ;)

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Fuck yeah.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
Yes, I’d wax my entire body now if someone else would pay for it! The $5,000 would be for me to shave my head and buy me a wig.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
I haven’t watched TV for the last 3 (no cable, no tv reception) so, whatever – give me my $25,000 already!.
The Miseducation Of Chaos And Destruction

School starts in less than a week. Im so happy. Lucky for my offspring its been an educational summer *HAH!*

The progeny think they can speak Korean. Why do they think this you may be asking yourself? No its not from taking them to the local Korean restaurant to often (is there even one in my area??), its from them playing on the computer. They have found a paper doll site that is Korean and they LOVE it. And they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the song that plays on the site and oh how they LOVE to sing along with the song until I feel like my ears are about to bleed and I tell them that if they dont shut up at that very moment I will *duct tape them both to the stairs for the remainder of the day. Its a beautiful thing.

My offspring think they can also speak Spanish because they watch Dora The Explorer occasionally and play the Dora The Explorer games. This worries me much more than them singing along badly in Korean as we live in TEXAS which has a HUGE Spanish speaking population and I can just see them getting their asses kicked for pretending to speak Spanish. I would think they would realize they CANT speak Spanish since the beginning of the summer was punctuated with a family event of which their Spanish speaking Latino/Latina cousins were present. The look of WTF are you saying to me whitey? from all the Hispanic children (including the 2 year old) should have convinced them to drop that shit.

They've also learned exactly which buttons to push to get themselves grounded. This is something I think is important to know so as to NOT push those buttons and end up grounded. Yet my progeny dont seem to share that sentiment as they push those buttons on a regular basis. I believe this will be remembered for them as the Summer of Grounding. Whatever, it builds character, right?

And thats about it, the summer is almost over and I am anxiously counting down the days until school starts. Im not quite certain if Im more excited about my birthday this Friday or them starting school on Monday!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Hyena's Comedy Club Photos

RockYou slideshow | View | Add Favorite

Luau Photos
AKA The Drunk Judy Project

RockYou slideshow | View | Add Favorite
Oh No You Di-n’t!

I’ve been TAGGED! (boy that little clamp thing on the ear really hurts! Radio collar isn’t to bad though…)
“Rules: Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things/habits about themselves. People who get tagged have to write a blog of their own of their own 6 weird things/habits as well as clearly state this rule. At the end you need to choose 6 people and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "Tag you're it!" and tell them to read your blog.”
Damn you Cin, I thought you liked me! ;-)

1- I think I’m taller than I actually am and then I’m terribly shocked to see how very short I really am.

2- I was bit by a dog once. I was 3. The dog was a weiner dog and it bit me on the big toe. No I’m not kidding.

3- I don’t know how to ride a bike. I’m not likely to learn either, I fear falling down and hurting myself (mostly my pride).

4- I eat M&M’s/cookies/etc. in even numbers. I don’t know why, but it has to be that way or I’ll spontaneously combust. I also match the colors of the M&M’s.

5- Though I fear and loath most bugs, I adore the cicada and crickets.

6- I’ve only had orange cats for the past 20 years of my life.

Now, here are the people I shall tag:
What? So I can’t count… I figured there was plenty of love to go around ;)

Photos from the LUAU to come SOON! Stay Tuned!