Just In Time For The Holidays!
I have found the perfect Hanukkah presents for everyone! Ebola, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Sleeping Sickness, Mono and The Common Cold. I personally want The Plague.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Mysteries Of The Universe
Children don't understand or apperciate the concept of sleeping in. My offspring were up at 6:30 AM. Just after I smacked my alarm clock into submission (just for a short time), my door opens and I hear Super Girl calling my name. *sigh* I yelled at her to go back to bed and of course she had to argue with me, every second taking me further and further away from my delicate snoozing state and my ever so delightful dream. When she finally acquiesced to my demands (or so I thought), I rolled over and snuggled my pillow close trying to find the dream I was engrossed in when I was so rudely interupted but alas it was not to be. It had already vaporized like fog being burned off by the sun - it also didn't help that I started hearing both progeny making noise, not sleeping in their beds like angelic little children.
Dear Offspring;
For the love of mom, please, please, please sleep in. Try it, you will like it. I guarantee you are NOT missing ANYTHING by sleeping in.
Love
Mom
Ugh. Off to get ready for work and hope this sinus headache disipates.
Children don't understand or apperciate the concept of sleeping in. My offspring were up at 6:30 AM. Just after I smacked my alarm clock into submission (just for a short time), my door opens and I hear Super Girl calling my name. *sigh* I yelled at her to go back to bed and of course she had to argue with me, every second taking me further and further away from my delicate snoozing state and my ever so delightful dream. When she finally acquiesced to my demands (or so I thought), I rolled over and snuggled my pillow close trying to find the dream I was engrossed in when I was so rudely interupted but alas it was not to be. It had already vaporized like fog being burned off by the sun - it also didn't help that I started hearing both progeny making noise, not sleeping in their beds like angelic little children.
Dear Offspring;
For the love of mom, please, please, please sleep in. Try it, you will like it. I guarantee you are NOT missing ANYTHING by sleeping in.
Love
Mom
Ugh. Off to get ready for work and hope this sinus headache disipates.
Friday, November 12, 2004
The Tooth Fairy
Well I finally got Super Girl on the Tooth Fairy's schedule. Okay, okay, I suck for not getting the whole Tooth Fairy thing already done with. It's been a little over a week since she lost that tooth. Stop giving me the dirty looks.
Here is the most recent Tooth Fairy Letter:
November 12, 2004
Ms. Tooth Fairy
101 Fantasy Street
Toothland
Dearest Ms. Fairy;
I would like to thank you very much for the two coins I received for my last tooth. I recently lost another tooth (my forth tooth).
I again am requesting a new tooth to replace this one – also I would like to know if I can get an estimate on when the replacement tooth for the last tooth will be in. I currently am sporting quite an impressive gap in the front. This is fine for now as I am just 5 years old, but eventually I’ll be 6 and I’m not sure I would like to be 6 and have such a large gap in the front.
I am certain that mommy has provided you with my tooth as she did before (in the envelope). I am requesting three shiny coins in exchange for the tooth. I will look for them in the envelope tomorrow morning.
I will make certain that mommy sets up her coffee maker again for you as well as setting out the last remaining packet of hot chocolate (so you don’t piss of mommy by using her Splenda). Just heat the water in the coffee maker and add the chocolate mix.
Also try not to spook the gerbil, she can be quite jumpy at times.
Much warmth,
Super Girl
And the reply:
November 12, 2004
Super Girl
Some Street
Somewherein, Texas
My dearest sweet Super Girl;
Thank you dearly for your precious tooth. I am pleased to learn that you have in fact been very good at taking care of your lovely teeth. Keep up the good work! Brush morning and night and floss too!
Patience dear child, teeth don’t grow on trees you know. I have arranged for replacements for your missing teeth and they will be there in their own due time. Have no fear you shall have front teeth when you are 6, I am confident it will make eating apples much easier.
Please accept these three shiny coins in exchange for your precious tooth.
Thank you for the tasty cup of hot chocolate (I didn’t use your mother’s Splenda, she really needs to get over that obsession). Now I’m off to finish my night of gathering shiny baby teeth!
Wishing you much love and shiny teeth,
Ms. Tooth Fairy
Someday she'll thank me for the efforts I put into this. Either that or she'll use all the bits and pieces of information I've carefully documented to prove my insanity and have me locked away in a nice cushie cell. Either way, I'm sure I'll apreciate her reaction.
Well I finally got Super Girl on the Tooth Fairy's schedule. Okay, okay, I suck for not getting the whole Tooth Fairy thing already done with. It's been a little over a week since she lost that tooth. Stop giving me the dirty looks.
Here is the most recent Tooth Fairy Letter:
November 12, 2004
Ms. Tooth Fairy
101 Fantasy Street
Toothland
Dearest Ms. Fairy;
I would like to thank you very much for the two coins I received for my last tooth. I recently lost another tooth (my forth tooth).
I again am requesting a new tooth to replace this one – also I would like to know if I can get an estimate on when the replacement tooth for the last tooth will be in. I currently am sporting quite an impressive gap in the front. This is fine for now as I am just 5 years old, but eventually I’ll be 6 and I’m not sure I would like to be 6 and have such a large gap in the front.
I am certain that mommy has provided you with my tooth as she did before (in the envelope). I am requesting three shiny coins in exchange for the tooth. I will look for them in the envelope tomorrow morning.
I will make certain that mommy sets up her coffee maker again for you as well as setting out the last remaining packet of hot chocolate (so you don’t piss of mommy by using her Splenda). Just heat the water in the coffee maker and add the chocolate mix.
Also try not to spook the gerbil, she can be quite jumpy at times.
Much warmth,
Super Girl
And the reply:
November 12, 2004
Super Girl
Some Street
Somewherein, Texas
My dearest sweet Super Girl;
Thank you dearly for your precious tooth. I am pleased to learn that you have in fact been very good at taking care of your lovely teeth. Keep up the good work! Brush morning and night and floss too!
Patience dear child, teeth don’t grow on trees you know. I have arranged for replacements for your missing teeth and they will be there in their own due time. Have no fear you shall have front teeth when you are 6, I am confident it will make eating apples much easier.
Please accept these three shiny coins in exchange for your precious tooth.
Thank you for the tasty cup of hot chocolate (I didn’t use your mother’s Splenda, she really needs to get over that obsession). Now I’m off to finish my night of gathering shiny baby teeth!
Wishing you much love and shiny teeth,
Ms. Tooth Fairy
Someday she'll thank me for the efforts I put into this. Either that or she'll use all the bits and pieces of information I've carefully documented to prove my insanity and have me locked away in a nice cushie cell. Either way, I'm sure I'll apreciate her reaction.
Winter Has Crept In
Truly it has. I was in total denial until just this morning. It's 50 today (I know, that's not all that cold for some places, but her it's considered cold). I turned on my heater last night. I've been enjoying the cooler temperatures, just not the windy mornings. It's been cold for several days, I suppose it's time to admit to winter being here and drag out the rarely used sweaters and jackets. Blah. I prefer less clothing. I wear shorts most of the time (even now, I'm in shorts, I'll change to pants when the time comes for me to fetch Super Girl from the bus stop). It's odd for it to be 50 right now, I think I recall at least one day last week that it was a steamy 90 (it rained that day so it was nasty humid).
My cat is read for winter I suppose, she has started her annual Search For Heat. She spends much of her waking hours searching for a WARM spot, stalking any person, just waiting for them to sit so she can suck the heat out of them. She is the most cold natured cat I've ever had. Her tiny paws are always cold. When a nice warm human is unavailable (or won't sit still in the case of Cabbage Patch) I sometimes find her under an afgan or in someone's bed under the covers. Occasionally I'll pity her and turn on the heating pad for her to sit on. Poor cat, I need to knit her a sweater.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the weather even if it does force me to wear more clothing than usual.
Truly it has. I was in total denial until just this morning. It's 50 today (I know, that's not all that cold for some places, but her it's considered cold). I turned on my heater last night. I've been enjoying the cooler temperatures, just not the windy mornings. It's been cold for several days, I suppose it's time to admit to winter being here and drag out the rarely used sweaters and jackets. Blah. I prefer less clothing. I wear shorts most of the time (even now, I'm in shorts, I'll change to pants when the time comes for me to fetch Super Girl from the bus stop). It's odd for it to be 50 right now, I think I recall at least one day last week that it was a steamy 90 (it rained that day so it was nasty humid).
My cat is read for winter I suppose, she has started her annual Search For Heat. She spends much of her waking hours searching for a WARM spot, stalking any person, just waiting for them to sit so she can suck the heat out of them. She is the most cold natured cat I've ever had. Her tiny paws are always cold. When a nice warm human is unavailable (or won't sit still in the case of Cabbage Patch) I sometimes find her under an afgan or in someone's bed under the covers. Occasionally I'll pity her and turn on the heating pad for her to sit on. Poor cat, I need to knit her a sweater.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the weather even if it does force me to wear more clothing than usual.
Friday Illustration: Vintage
Here is my Friday Illustration. A sea turtle. What could be more vintage than a beautiful old sea turtle? They are my favorite sea creature.
Unfortunately the photo is just of a small portion of the picture as the detail is lost when it's taken larger (the crispness of the picture is lost in the photo still). I had intended to do this in color but he looked so good in black and gray that I left him as is.
Enjoy.
Later... (9:23pm)
Here is the big picture.
Here is my Friday Illustration. A sea turtle. What could be more vintage than a beautiful old sea turtle? They are my favorite sea creature.
Unfortunately the photo is just of a small portion of the picture as the detail is lost when it's taken larger (the crispness of the picture is lost in the photo still). I had intended to do this in color but he looked so good in black and gray that I left him as is.
Enjoy.
Later... (9:23pm)
Here is the big picture.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
A Pox On My DSL Provider!
Damn it! My DSL has been down most of the fucking day. And for an internet addict like me, that is TORTURE. Well not really... I was actually finishing up a sewing project when I realized it was down - my internet radio stopped. It's irritating because I need to read what Petey wrote so I can write my part after the Little People are in bed and if I can't access the internet I can't read what's been written. I hate to admit it but I haven't read since Friday so I'm desperately in need of the internet. I know you're thinking - so go read now! I would, but I only have a few minutes to be on line, currently I'm tieing up our phone line to access the internet and I don't like ot do that. *sigh*
I need my DSL.
Damn it! My DSL has been down most of the fucking day. And for an internet addict like me, that is TORTURE. Well not really... I was actually finishing up a sewing project when I realized it was down - my internet radio stopped. It's irritating because I need to read what Petey wrote so I can write my part after the Little People are in bed and if I can't access the internet I can't read what's been written. I hate to admit it but I haven't read since Friday so I'm desperately in need of the internet. I know you're thinking - so go read now! I would, but I only have a few minutes to be on line, currently I'm tieing up our phone line to access the internet and I don't like ot do that. *sigh*
I need my DSL.
Monday, November 08, 2004
New Spider
One of the perks of living right next to a creek is that there is always some fabulous part of nature right near me - something is always new to me (like the racoon family we see at night as they head to the dumpster for a tasty dinner of garbage de jour or the persimion trees peeking out of the wooded area). One of the bad parts of living next to the creek is that there is an abundance of insects and therefore a favorite area for SPIDERS. Big icky spiders.
I dislike spiders quite a bit. Wait, wait, that's a lie. I despise spiders. I fear them. K is not of the same mind where these icky eight legged beasts are concerned. He shows compassion to the horrid eight legged ones while I look to annihilate them. Over the years we've come to a sort of agreement, spiders who violate the rules of my home (i.e. no non rent paying tenants other than thoes I've given birth to) are to be killed and the ones who respect my boundries and stay the hell out of my house will be left unmolested.
After spawning I realized that I didn't want to pass on this particular nerosis to my offspring and have gone out of my way to show the Little People that spiders aren't so bad (even though it takes an enormous amount of will power on my part). I show the Little People spiders outside and we even take pictures of the particularly nasty looking ones. I have of course taught them the rules of the house. They will dutifully stomp, smack or otherwise decimate any crawly thing that invades our home. Heh. I did this because K has taken up a capture and release policy despite my protests (see, this is my reasoning - if you release said icky thing back into the wild, that just gives it the opportunity to prepare for it's return to my home to terrorize me).
The picture above is the NEWEST Spider around. It's taken up residence outside the window near the front door. As long as it stays there, I will not spray it with a handy and lethal aresol.
One of the perks of living right next to a creek is that there is always some fabulous part of nature right near me - something is always new to me (like the racoon family we see at night as they head to the dumpster for a tasty dinner of garbage de jour or the persimion trees peeking out of the wooded area). One of the bad parts of living next to the creek is that there is an abundance of insects and therefore a favorite area for SPIDERS. Big icky spiders.
I dislike spiders quite a bit. Wait, wait, that's a lie. I despise spiders. I fear them. K is not of the same mind where these icky eight legged beasts are concerned. He shows compassion to the horrid eight legged ones while I look to annihilate them. Over the years we've come to a sort of agreement, spiders who violate the rules of my home (i.e. no non rent paying tenants other than thoes I've given birth to) are to be killed and the ones who respect my boundries and stay the hell out of my house will be left unmolested.
After spawning I realized that I didn't want to pass on this particular nerosis to my offspring and have gone out of my way to show the Little People that spiders aren't so bad (even though it takes an enormous amount of will power on my part). I show the Little People spiders outside and we even take pictures of the particularly nasty looking ones. I have of course taught them the rules of the house. They will dutifully stomp, smack or otherwise decimate any crawly thing that invades our home. Heh. I did this because K has taken up a capture and release policy despite my protests (see, this is my reasoning - if you release said icky thing back into the wild, that just gives it the opportunity to prepare for it's return to my home to terrorize me).
The picture above is the NEWEST Spider around. It's taken up residence outside the window near the front door. As long as it stays there, I will not spray it with a handy and lethal aresol.
Tireing Weekend
I'm tired today. I'm not sure if it's from the weekend (which was busy) or if it's from the sinus medication I took last night to vanquish the horrid sinus headache that had been pummeling me all afternoon. At any rate it was a busy weekend. I'm far to tired to even rehash it here on the blog. It makes me need a nap just thinking about it.
High points of the weekend: Went to see The Incredibles on Friday night. Fuck that was a good movie! I want to see it again. Game on Saturday night which I had not intended to attend but kind of got roped in and wanted to hang out with my friends (Okay, I really just wanted to sit on the couch with The New Mrs. S and talk about makeup while making catty comments). I didn't get home until 1:30 am. Ugh... that's painful when I have to get up at 6:30 am for work. Sunday went to see Shark Tale after work. It's an okay movie - not worth seeing for full price. Last night slept on the couch while K made dinner. Macaroni and cheese. Mmmmmm... Woke up to eat and negotiate bed time with the Little People. Watched half of the Farscape episodes The Queen taped for us (thank you!!!). K drugged me and I went to bed.
Whew. I still need a nap.
I'm tired today. I'm not sure if it's from the weekend (which was busy) or if it's from the sinus medication I took last night to vanquish the horrid sinus headache that had been pummeling me all afternoon. At any rate it was a busy weekend. I'm far to tired to even rehash it here on the blog. It makes me need a nap just thinking about it.
High points of the weekend: Went to see The Incredibles on Friday night. Fuck that was a good movie! I want to see it again. Game on Saturday night which I had not intended to attend but kind of got roped in and wanted to hang out with my friends (Okay, I really just wanted to sit on the couch with The New Mrs. S and talk about makeup while making catty comments). I didn't get home until 1:30 am. Ugh... that's painful when I have to get up at 6:30 am for work. Sunday went to see Shark Tale after work. It's an okay movie - not worth seeing for full price. Last night slept on the couch while K made dinner. Macaroni and cheese. Mmmmmm... Woke up to eat and negotiate bed time with the Little People. Watched half of the Farscape episodes The Queen taped for us (thank you!!!). K drugged me and I went to bed.
Whew. I still need a nap.
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