Friday, July 28, 2006

Is It To Early To Start Drinking?

Fuck, some days I think I should just stay in bed. *sigh*

So I'm cleaning my kitchen and I see my long neglected empty fish tank. I decide that I really want fish this year for my birthday, better clean out the tank and get it ready for occupation. I take it down and clean everything. Then I put all the air hoses and stuff back in, fill it half way and decide it would go ahead and turn on the hoses to see if all the air stuff still worked. I plug in the power strip they are plugged into and nothing happens. I unplug things and fiddle with things, then plug back in. Nothing. I press the reset button on the outlet and plug back in. Nothing. More fiddling, then I go into the living room and see my computer screen is black. Damn it, I figured I popped the circut so I go into the laundry room and randmomly flip switches in the box. Come out, computer still off. Reset the VCR and TV for the kids go back to the laundry room, flip switches with purpose. Come out, computer is still OFF. Reset VCR and TV and try again with the flipping of the switches. Nothing. DAMN IT! I must have blown a fuse. Now the computer and all is plugged into an extension cord and I must call the maintenance to come fix the fuse. *sigh* I need a drink now.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Jewish Sex

The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I
rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and
she screamed for five full minutes at the end." The Frenchman boasts,
"Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over
with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for
fifteen minutes." The Jewish man says, "Well, last week my wife and I
also had sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken
fat). We made love, and she screamed for over six hours." The
Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They asked, "What could you have
possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?" The Jewish man
says, "I wiped my hands on the bedspread,"

Oy, I'm so Vakelmpt, Talk among-stah yaselves.
Interesting Dragon Fly

I saw this lovely buggie flying around my townhouse yesterday, in fact their were two of them flying aroudn the court yard. I loved the wings so much I had to chase them around for 5 minutes to get two photos!

Later: K messaged me with this: the dragonfly in question is a "Libellual Subornata" aka The Desert Whitetale.

Thank you K!

Yesterday when I told my offspring that they needed to take a bath, I was met with an unusual amount of resistance to the prospect as they were certain the BIG BUG was still occupying space in the bathroom. I assured them that the bathroom was now a BUG FREE zone and that I had in fact paid out 8 bug bait/poison thingies that had started to *KILL WITHIN HOURS of me setting them out. Before either of them would acquiesce to bathe in my bathroom I had to point out each and every bait/poison thingie to each progeny separately. THEN and only THEN were they satisfied of the bug-free-ness of the room. *according to the big letters on the packaging.


Lucky for me the Tiny Terrorists summer break ends SOON! (Though not SOON enough.) In celebration of the nearing END to my torture, I have consistently been making a point to sleep IN (past 7 am is sleeping in here) and have managed to avoid anyone in this household (save K) getting dressed prior to noon! We’ve also managed to watch copious amounts of cartoons (JLA) and avoided doing ANYTHING with a deadline! It’s fabulous.

And on that note, I must go for the moment… my spot on the sofa is getting cold. ;-)

Monday, July 24, 2006

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects.
She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better.
Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

III - The Empress


II - The High Priestess


XIII: Death


IV - The Emperor


VI: The Lovers


XVI: The Tower


XI: Justice


XIX: The Sun


VIII - Strength


I - Magician


0 - The Fool


XV: The Devil


X - Wheel of Fortune


Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with

Last week I mentioned the BIG BUG in my bathroom that frightened The Little People so much that they chose to avoid my bathroom at ALL COSTS. I personally was scared shitless by the bug also, but had refused to do anything about the bug for two reasons 1 – I’m a big pussy in this area and just won’t squish a big nasty bug unless I absolutely have to, I prefer to either spray the hell out of it with whatever can of spray stuff is available and at hand or just practice ACTIVE AVOIDANCE (as in walk out of the room, close the door, nail it shut, seal all the cracks and brick it in… at least mentally that’s what I do, my desperate lack of building materials and experience keeps me from doing that) and 2 – I figured that if the BIG BUG scared the kids enough to make them stay OUT of my bathroom, then maybe I could strike a pact with it to keep the kids OUT of my bathroom – I figured if I refrained from spraying it and let it hide behind the trash bin, only to venture out when the offspring were in the bathroom and would run back to hiding when I made a presence, then I wouldn’t do anything drastic. It seemed somewhat insane but somehow reasonable.

Friday I ran a bath to shave my legs for my date later. Because I have progeny, I rarely EVER get to bathe solo if they are in the house. My oldest progeny ventured into the bathroom and stated that she would bathe with me, whatever, fine. She then questioned me as to whether I was afraid of the BIG BUG (no) and what would I do if it got in my bath (it won’t) and all that crap. I finally asked her to hush about the bug and went about shaving my legs. I finished and was about to tell Super Girl to wash her hair when I felt something brush my arm, I turned to look and lo and behold the BIG BUG was IN MY BATH WATER! Holy FUCK! I yelped something like “Gaaahhaghh! The BIG BUG!” and hauled my ass out of the water in record time. I think my offspring jumped from the tub all the way to my bed without ever having her feet touch the floor. Now the BIG BUG was on my bath pillow so I instructed Super Girl to go get the Napalm (bug spray) out of the kitchen as I stood there wide eyed staring at it. I must have sprayed half the can of bug spray on that fucker and decided that since I’d NEVER be taking a bath in THAT TUB EVER AGAIN, that the bath pillow would accompany the BIG BUG to his grave in the dumpster. Just glad I was FINISHED with the razor when the BIG BUG dive bombed me or I’d probably have amputated one of my legs!

Saturday we went shopping, I stopped at the poison section and carefully considered my options. I purchased a box of bug poison/bait traps. Today I’ve scrubbed my bathroom and put out ALL 8 of the traps in MY bathroom. Do you think that’s overkill or should I get another box?
Read The Directions First

Because that one about using Tilex in a well ventilated room isn't just to fill up space on the label - it's also a good idea! I think I've killed off several brain cells this morning... but that bathroom grout is sparkling!