Thursday, March 16, 2006

Why I Stopped At Two…

Yesterday Cabbage Patch was wrapping the strap off some luggage around herself (don’t ask why, she’s 4, there is no logical answer) and walked up to me to ask “Mamma, how do I look?” to which I answered “Weird.” Without missing a beat her older and more jaded sister replied “You look like a dork.” All I could do was laugh. Well she did look like a dork (which she was overly proud of) and I COMPLETELY remember my older sister saying shit like that to me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Sorry To Be So Late, I Think I Spring Broke My Brain

Dear gawd, Spring Break has affected my thinking. I’m getting more sleep due to not having to get up quite so early (hey, one freaking HOUR really fucking helps… well that and I went to bed early a couple of nights, go figure) – not that it matters since most of my waking hours is spent trying to entertain or occupy a 7 year old and a 4 year old and fighting that urge just to lock them in a dog kennel for several hours at a time. Opps… did I say that out loud? Damn mental filter isn’t working so well again (ever). So yeah, I can’t think straight… seems that being well rested only makes me that much more ADD than usual and since I’m generally a little distracted… well… what was I talking about?

OH! NEW AND SHINY!

I finally got my NEW cell phone and after 6 phone calls and a visit to both the Nextel (SUCKS!) and the Sprint (they don’t suck) stores, things ARE up and running. So if you left me a message on my cell phone over the weekend, sorry, I didn’t get it... I mean I DID get it, but I couldn’t GET TO IT so I never heard it. At any rate, I totally love this new phone. It’s a camera phone. Woohoo! When you see me, you must ask to see my screen saver on my phone, I took that photo – it’s too funny. Don’t ask me to SEND you the photo… I don’t think I can, I think that’d cost me more money… I’m not even sure I can upload the photo on my computer. See I kind of lost the instruction manual already. I read one page and I’ve lost it. No, really I did. I’m sure it’s here somewhere, I’ll find it eventually. Anyway, it makes me laugh.

Scoring A 0.02 – Somewhere Between Useless and Dying

Monday was the MOST FUN EVER in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. (sarcasm) Being the first Monday of SPRING BREAK, I had all these grand plans of things to do with the offspring that would keep them entertained and keep me sane. Yeah, whatever. I have no idea why I ever really PLAN things out. I LOVE plans but I really do love SPONTANEOUS too. And when it comes right down to it, in a choice between being the grown up with set plans, I’m more likely to be the ADD 5 year old who just ate 3 frosted cupcakes spontaneous. Not always, but a lot of the time. New fun can be more fun than old fun, but not always but I’m always curious to find out. Wait… what was I talking about... Oh yeah… Monday…

So MONDAY the plan was to do gardening. That’s what I had thought out and planned. To plant our garden. I bought new seeds and new tiny shovels for the progeny. Monday morning I realized the error of my planning. That planting out ‘garden’ (about 5 planters) would take a total of 30 minutes if we took out time. Ahhh… hmmm… must improvise. And by improvise I mean put DVD’s on and hope they would sit there and be occupied until early afternoon when we’d go plant. I had actually planned a trip to the park with a picnic but for some fucked up reason it was COLD and WINDY Monday so umm… no. So after the first DVD got boring we spent the rest of the morning doing laundry and let me tell you, KIDS LOVE DOING LAUNDRY! Well not really, so the morning involved a lot of yelling and whining and cursing. Finally after short naps, we PLANT the GARDEN between gusts of wind. Now here’s the FUN part of the day! After planting the headache I’d had most of the day decided to become a MIGRAINE! Woohoo! I spend the rest of the evening shushing the progeny who are by now WOUND up and RUNNING WILD. I message K desperately begging him to make time go faster and get home NOW. He promised to take the offspring with him to his political thingy that night so I could feign death on the couch until I didn’t have the urge to vomit every time I moved. Eventually he got home and drug Chaos and Destruction off with him. The world improved. The end of Monday.

I’ll add more to this later… I need to go rinse my hair because I stopped mid paragraph and had to put color on my hair.