Friday, December 03, 2004

Illustration Friday:Bubble

I did two for today, unfortunately the quality of photo does not do either justice.

One is of a fish, because I used to have a fish named Bubbles and I always think of goldfish blowing bubbles (Thor used to do that). The other is of a thought bubble - because I do that a lot (day dream about XXX). ;o) it's rough, but I like it.

I'm pleased to say that I've been downsized. Not laid off but I'm in a smaller size pant! Woohoo!

Yesterday on a whim I tried on a jacket I haven't been able to squeeze into comfortably in years and it fit! It fit well even, no buttons straining or anything. This morning being in a hurry to get dressed I grabbed some pants that I've had forever and slipped them on - just slipped them on. They are a size smaller than what I've been wearing. I'm so happy, I have a closet full of clothes that I haven't been able to fit into in a while. The only bad thing is that this is all clothes from when I was working a corporate 8-5 job. My current employment is much much more casual. I feel like a major dork wearing silk pants to clean house in. Ah well if I ever have an occasion to go to go somewhere nice I'll have something to wear.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

WalMart = One of The Levels Of HELL!

We headed off to Wally World tonight in search of the items we should have bought last night but didn’t because I just could not fucking remember and K was utterly unmotivated. One of the items on the list was fabric, as in fabric that will match the cool fake tiger fur I made Super Girl’s amazingly fabulous coat out of. Cabbage Patch was in love with it and wanted a coat to match her sisters. We head for the fabric section and I select a white leopard print as they did not have a white tiger print (I thought it would be cute to have them in tiger print and white tiger print). All I need is one yard of fabric. I take the bolt to the counter and wait. There is no store employee around. This is actually pretty common; generally if you stand around impatiently some older woman in a horrid blue smock will appear out of nowhere and will stoically ask if you need help. So I do that. Stand around and look for signs of employees. Meanwhile the Little People have changed to their alter egos of Chaos and Destruction and are trying their damnedest to live up to their names – luckily upon entering Wally World I instantly recalled that some alien cosmic force eminates from Wally World (and only Wally World) that fucks with the brain waves of normal mild mannered children (of which my offspring are not, but they are still affected) and causes them to become foul little demons complete with heads that revolve and pea soup spewing mouths and worst of all the ability to WHINE at a level that can annoy EVERYONE within hearing distance of their shrill, piercing voices. K decides to push the cart around while I wait for a helpful employee to appear – this is generally a smart and safe idea as it’s harder for the Tiny Terrorists to get to a moving target and decreases the collateral damage inflicted by them. After nearly 10 minutes the helpful employee appears. She is neither stoic nor elderly and I’m instantly suspicious. In my experience the only helpful employees in a sewing area of Wally World are stoic and elderly. Her name tag said Jenny and she appeared to be maybe 20, tall and anorexic – and way to chipper for a Wally World employee. I quickly discovered her chipperness was probably the only thing that kept people from killing her after 5 minutes of conversation, she was dingy. As she came from where the patterns are, followed by a customer she announced that she was sorry, but she had been looking for a pattern *smile*. I nodded and waited. She and customer got into a discussion on how much fabric was needed for the garment that customer’s son would be making for some kind of school assignment. This involved much yelling back and forth between the customer and her son (he was wander around the section) and some debate between Jenny and the customer. I quickly realized that neither the customer nor Jenny had a fucking clue about sewing. While it was being debated as to how much fabric would be needed, Jenny casually mentioned that I knew exactly what I wanted and gave me brief but false hope that she would tell customer to hold on one moment while she cut my fabric for me, but it was not to be! I guess I had some minor bad karma to burn off this evening. Customer and Jenny came to a decision on how much fabric son would need and Jenny laid it out to cut it. Then the word *NOTIONS came up. Blank stares from customer and son, foggy look from Jenny – she had the concept but not a clue what was needed for this pattern even though it’s written on the back of the freaking pattern. *sigh* My patience was wearing thin, I had offered a few words of help during this time but I realized that if I EVER FUCKING WANTED MY LIFE BACK, I would need to assist these clueless people. I take the pattern and say “You need thread and Velcro. I’m sure you need elastic also.” Then ensues the conversation of why Velcro. Uggh! Fuck I don’t know, it just fucking says so on the package! That’s what I thought, I did not say though. I looked at the instruction sheet and could not find an answer, I gave her my best guess and told her to buy it. She asked if I was sure 5 or so times. I started telling her son to go find things so this painful experience could END. Customer and son got into a debate on just about EVERY FUCKING THING! But finally things were cut. They finally left, but not before the ever so chipper Jenny asked what I would be making with the furry fabric and I told her a coat for Cabbage Patch. You would have thought I had just freaking pulled a diamond out of my ass. Customer was so almighty impressed that she launched into a monologue of how she wished that she had learned to sew when she was in school, yadda, yadda, yadda. Customer almost wet her pants when I said I had made the coat last night. Jenny casually quipped “Oh yeah, she sews all the time.” I smiled at her thinking “Oh… so now you know what I do? You’re a mind reader? No, no, you’re just utterly and completly insane, the smile should have tipped it off for me.” I didn’t say anything, I just wanted her to finish cutting my fabric and for customer to stop fawning over me, thanking me for my assistance and just go away before she asked for my number incase she had questions later. *sigh* 30 minutes after I entered the fabric area, I was released from my prison and free to finish my shopping experience with K and the Tiny Terrorists.
Wearing The Wrong Size

Just read this. I have immages of drug stores with size charts like they have at shoe stores. heh.
Disjointed Notes

Stuff I Don't Need
Cape Cod Dark Russet potato chips are the best damn potato chips on the planet (I'm dyeing to try the Salt and Vinegar ones!).

I Rock
Super Girl loved her coat. She was extremely impressed with the lining I used (a fuzzy black fabric). She showed her sister the coat like one of the girls off Price Is Right. It was amuseing.

Inapropriate Laughter
Cabbage Patch loves to watch the Bear In The Big Blue House potty training video despite now being potty trained. At the beginning of all BITBBH episodes he starts sniffing and says 'What's that smell?' Leila sees Bear and thinks its Pooh Bear and starts yelling 'Pooh!' which never fails to make me laugh, "What's that smell?" "Pooh! Pooh!" heh and it is a potty training video. Yeah I know, I just lost my nomination for Mother Of The Year - and I didn't even go into details of how I laughed yesterday when she fell down and wet her pants.

Blast From The Past
I'm glad everyone has been so amused by my first ID photo. I've had several amusing comments about the gargantuan glasses I was wearing (hey, I thought they looked COOL back then!), the braids in my hair (I'm not even going to justify that fashion mistake) and that sweater (which I happen to STILL have). I'll have to dig around for some more photos from my High School Fashion Victim Days (it was the 80's I think every one was a Fashion Victim that decade), I know everyone will enjoy that.

Well I best go do some house cleaning and wash some clothes (so I'm not forced to wear that sweater!).

Last night we should have gone to the store. Someone should have gone to the store. I knew we were out of jelly and we needed light bulbs but I could not remember what else we needed. What else. We always need something else and I for the life of me could not remember what it was, although I KNEW it had to be important.

I implored K to go to the store. Well actually I suggested he go to the store when he went routing around the pantry for light bulbs and I informed him that I had single handedly replaced the living room light bulb the day before so we are now light bulbless. I said I knew we needed something else, bread maybe. He stared at me blankly. I said "Someone should go to the store, I know we need light bulbs, maybe bread and something else..." He started walking up the stairs as I repeated my conculsion that SOMEONE should go to the store (and it certainly could NOT be me as I was already in my jammies). I said something to the effect of it being obvious he wasn't going to go to the store as he was walking up the stairs and got a flat "shut the fuck up" look from him. Hmmmpf.

This morning Super Girl decended the stairs and as usual requested breakfast, her usual cereal. That is when I remembered "Oh yeah! We are out of cereal!" I asked her if she wanted oatmeal which she quickly refused with a twisted up face (BRAT). Cabbage Patch requested toast and was refused as there was only two pieces left to make lunch for Super Girl. The sulking and whining started. (not me, the kids) *sigh* Super Girl got some yogurt from the fridge, took two bites and declared it 'yucky' Cabbage Patch declined the offer of yogurt so I was left scrounging the pantry for breakfast for them. Vanilla waffers and milk. What? It's no worse than Frosted Flakes, probably better. The whineing subsides momentairly and I head to the pantry to make some oatmeal for myself. I discovered what else I need at the store. Splenda. Damn it. I've got three packets left. That's enough for one perfect cup of coffee and one okay cup of coffee. I choose to leave the Splenda for my coffee and instead use *horrors* sugar in my oatmeal. I RARELY ever have real sugar in my house. Why? Because I'll eat it. Not like standing in the pantry with a spoon shoveling it into my mouth or anything like that, but I'll bake (I also rarely ever have flour in the house either) and I'll eat what I bake and my ass will grow wider and wider - hell I'm convinced that just having sugar in the house makes my ass grow wider. But I digress. I made my oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon. I offered some to Super Girl as I don't want her going to school without a good breakfast and her eating breakfast at school is OUT of the question (especially after I dicovered that she HAD been eating breakfast at school nearly EVERY day - this is AFTER I had already fed her here at home!!! This discovery solved the mystery of why the lunch money I sent was not lasting as long as it should have been - untill then I was thinking that maybe the lunch prices had gone WAY up). I finally succeeded in getting her to try the damned oatmeal which she liked and she wanted, so I made some for her. Great now she had a good breakfast but we were not running late. I'm barking orders at her to EAT while I put her socks and shoes on her. *sigh*

All because we didn't go to the store last night.
Super Girl's Coat

I just finished making this. She's going to look so damn cute in this coat.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Fabulous Photo

Yesterday my new Texas ID came in the mail. I was pleasently surprised at how GOOD the photo was. This is probably the BEST photo I've ever had for photo ID. Don't take my word for it, see for yourself.

This was me at 18. Let's not even mention the hair.

This one is about 8 or 9 years ago. I affectionately call it the Weeble picture because I look like a fucking Weeble. I was about 50 lbs heavier than I am now and on steriods for a medical thing.

And THIS is my current photo! I'm so shocked that it looks good. I'm considering going back and getting my holiday photos taken there. :o)

Monday, November 29, 2004

How To Move Up A Notch On My Hit List

Ask me to reach down the garbage disposal to retreive something you dropped down there because your big ol' gorilla hands won't fit down it. I just love sticking my hand in squishy wet food scraped off the dinner plates.
It's Over

I'm glad Thanksgiving is over. I don't really like Thanksgiving.

Eh... I'm not motivated to write... well I'm really not in a good mood. I'm fighting the urge to draw little illustrations of how I feel but that would be just stupid, so I won't.

That's enough for now. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel different.